When he finally switched the set off, they were both yawning. Without thinking, he drew her into his arms, where she nestled up against him, her head nodding against his chest.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m too sleepy for…”
“Yeah, I know.” He kissed the top of her head. “Me, too.”
Chapter 12
Ben woke slowly the next morning. He felt good. Well, there was a bit of a hangover brewing but still, he felt amazing. He shifted so he could bury his face against Caitlyn’s warm, sweet neck.
Oh holy shit.
He was cuddling. Worse, he was spooning. He was the big spoon—when had he become a spoon, for chrissakes?
He slowly pulled away, trying to disengage his intertwined limbs, but she mumbled something in protest in her sleep.
She was fucking adorable when she slept. So peaceful and soft and beautiful and—holy crap, he was watching her sleep.
This was bad. This was very bad. This broke every fuck buddy rule ever created. And last night? No sex, just cuddles. Cuddles until they’d fallen asleep in one another’s arms. Ben let out a quiet moan. They had broken the agreement, which meant they were in unchartered territory.
He looked back to where Caitlyn lay, looking sweet and innocent as ever. Gregory’s words came back to him with a vengeance. You’re going to hurt that girl.
That was the last thing he wanted. But maybe Gregory had a point. Clearly the boundaries between them were blurring. He flashed back to the way she’d snuggled up against him the night before. How he’d been perfectly content to sit there and cuddle. Cuddle, for God’s sake!
Shoving a hand through his hair, he got out of bed and started pacing. He wasn’t ready for anything more than fuck buddies. He’d made that clear. Hell, he was certain he couldn’t handle more. He’d always known that about himself, which was why up until Olivia he’d avoided anything other than one-night stands.
Even if he could handle some sort of relationship, it would never be with this woman. Not that kind of relationship. He wasn’t the type. Not for someone like her. She deserved a good man, not one who attracted drama, who always said and did the wrong things, who slept around too much, and drank too much, and made a mess of every so-called relationship he’d ever been in. Olivia had been the closest thing to a true girlfriend he’d ever had and just look how that turned out.
No, he wasn’t ready for another relationship even if he could be better for her. Because, let’s face it, he might get his act together for a little while but then he would always go back to his old ways. That’s the way it always worked for him. He bored easily. That was why Olivia had lasted as long as she had. She’d gotten that about him because she was the same way. That was why there had always been so much drama. They couldn’t stay together without it. They would have flamed out and died months earlier if the heat of anger and makeup sex hadn’t fueled the fire.
Sure this was fun now, but it wouldn’t last. That was a certainty. Walking away from Caitlyn made his chest ache, but he reminded himself of the alternative. If Gregory was right, she would get attached. It was no secret that being fuck buddies was a new thing for her. She wasn’t used to getting close physically without an emotional connection as well. He stifled a groan at the memory of her rushing into his arms when he’d arrived home the night before, of the way her eyes had grown all soft and dreamy when they’d danced together at the bar…
Oh no. Gregory was right. He was going to hurt her. He was going to hurt the one woman who’d been nothing but kind, supportive, and sweet to him. She’d opened herself up to him and he’d ruin it, just like he ruined every relationship—real or not.
There was only one thing to be done. The realization sucked the air from his lungs with a whoosh. He had to put an end to this if he was going to avoid hurting her.
He knew what he had to do. But even as he opened her laptop and got to work, his chest ached. Even more reason to pull the plug on this thing. Clearly he was forming an attachment here and that was unacceptable. He had to put an end to whatever this was for both their sakes. Besides, he was supposed to leave in another week, anyways. His fingers paused over the keyboard. Maybe he could wait. Have one more week with Caitlyn.
No. One more week of sleeping together and talking well into the night, not to mention cuddling… He was already in too deep. Caitlyn was already too close to getting hurt. But if he ended it now, he could minimize any damage. He’d help her to move on to someone new and then he would slip out of her life once and for all.
* * * *
When Caitlyn woke, he was on the far side of the room.
“What are you doing?” she mumbled.
She was half awake and had a bad case of bedhead. And she looked adorable. Shit. This was bad.
He focused on the laptop before him and ordered himself to stay strong. “I’m finding you a date.”
That woke her up. “What?” She was on her elbows and staring at him as though he’d just sprouted horns.
Good. That was the point. This was for her own good.
“Why are you on my laptop?” She still sounded half awake, her voice scratchy and husky…and unbelievably sexy.
“I needed to get into your account and your laptop was just sitting here.” He ignored the cute wrinkle of her nose that he took to mean she didn’t know whether to ask more questions or yell at him for invading her privacy.
“You really should update your passwords,” he pointed out, nodding toward her laptop. “It was stupidly easy to get in here.”
He turned his attention back to the laptop and resisted the urge to look up. There was too much temptation there, and he was determined to do right by her. She was kind and loving and, yes, sweet, and she deserved her Cary Grant. Not some bastard who was incapable of being in a healthy, committed relationship, who had an unstable job and no plans for a future. She deserved better than him.
“Why?” she asked. He glanced over to see her shaking her head and rubbing her eyes, trying to wake up and make sense of this conversation. He looked away again.
“Look here, this guy looks perfect.” He brought the laptop to the side of the bed where he sat just far enough away that he couldn’t touch her even if he wanted to. He handed over the laptop where a handsome man beamed back at them.
“What do you think?” he prompted.
She was studying the profile with a bemused look on her face. He supposed it was a bit of an odd way to wake up.
“He looks…nice,” she said.
“I’m glad you think so because you and this fella are going on a date.”
“We’re what?”
He ignored her shock. She would thank him in the end. “I knew it would take you weeks of e-mailing and texting to sort out whether or not you wanted to meet up in person but really, love, it’s just a date. How are you ever going to meet the right guy in this century at the rate you’re going?”
She stared at him with an open mouth. Good, if she was speechless, he had a moment to sell his top draft for boyfriend material.
“He’s a doctor.”
Caitlyn’s gaze dropped from his face to the screen. “I see that.”
“And he’s looking for a woman who wants to settle down and have a family,” he continued. Good God, was that him talking? He sounded like a used car dealer. Maybe he should dial it down a bit.
“I told you I’d find you your Cary Grant,” he reminded her.
Her smile was rueful and it was so beautiful it hurt. “You did say that, didn’t you?”
He nodded. “I always keep my promises.”
“What about that promise to do your dishes immediately after meals?”
“Well, I always keep the promises I want to keep.”
She looked away from him then and her smile looked strained. Shit. Had he done that?
“Right,” she said. “So when am I supposed to meet the good doctor?”
He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been
holding. Thank the Lord, this was working. “Tonight.”
“Ben!”
“Oh, I’m sorry, did you have other plans? Because I’m fairly certain you were in for a night of telly on the couch.”
And hot, amazing sex, but that could wait until she returned from her date. Unless the date went well. Jesus, what if she brought him home? What if she wanted to sleep with the guy? What a nightmare. Maybe he should have thought this plan through. He could have set her up for a hundred dates…right after he moved out.
But that would defeat the purpose. Ben steeled himself against the jealousy that was making it difficult to breathe. The point was to get her sorted with another man—a proper man—before she grew too attached.
“I don’t want to go on a date tonight,” she said. She moved so she was sitting upright and the blanket slipped down, revealing her scrap of a nightie that was just barely covering her breasts.
His cock hardened instantly at the sight. All it would take was one little tug on that strap and the nightie would slip off her shoulder, revealing her beautiful breasts.
“Ben?”
He forced his eyes back to her face. What had she been saying? The date. Right. Focus.
“I thought you said you were ready to move on from that asshat Robert,” he said.
“I am ready, but—”
“If you’re ever going to truly move on, you need to start dating. You need to find a rebound guy. Take it from me. Why do you think I was on that date with you in the first place?”
At the mention of “that date,” her eyes narrowed. “I was your rebound date?” She didn’t sound offended. She sounded…pleased.
He had the uncomfortable feeling that he’d let on more than intended. “Of course, you knew that.”
“Because you thought I was hot.” It wasn’t a question. She was looking at him with a little smile of pure, female satisfaction that drove him wild.
Of course he’d thought she was hot. What sane man wouldn’t? Hadn’t he told her that a thousand times? God, this woman was thick headed.
But she was his woman.
Nope. Not acceptable. That was exactly why he had to find her someone like—he glanced down at the dapper man on the screen—Nicholas. The good doctor Nick, who was looking for a sweet woman to settle down with and pop out some babies. He even liked old movies. Granted, he’d named Casablanca as his favorite move so he wasn’t exactly winning any awards for originality, but knowing Caitlyn, she’d like that he was a romantic.
This guy was perfect. He would make Caitlyn happy and give her all the things that he could not. He looked down at the smiling photo. Bloody hell, this guy really was perfect.
* * * *
Caitlyn stared at the picture on her phone as she waited for her date to arrive. He looked perfect. Too perfect.
Ben had set her up with a Ken doll.
What if he had Ken’s doll parts below the belt? She smothered a laugh that bordered on hysterical by taking a sip of her water.
Nicholas had left the location of their date up to her so she’d chosen a little café near Cagney’s. If the date went well, she might take him there for a drink. If it was a miserable failure, Meg was on standby to lend a sympathetic ear. Win-win.
Lose-lose.
One hour later Caitlyn was certain her jaw would fall off from the effort it took to keep from yawning. She had never been so bored in all her life.
“I’m really glad you found me on that site, Caitlyn,” he said between bites of a piece of cake they shared.
She smiled. Actually, the man I’ve been sleeping with on a regular basis found you.
How would he react to that? Perfectly, no doubt. The man sitting before her was perfect. So perfect. Too perfect. And he was humble to top it all off.
She smiled politely over his sweet story about working with young children in the pediatrics unit. How was he boring her with a story about cute kids? Cute kid stories were always…well, cute.
Her face hurt from polite smiling. Do not look at your watch. Do not look at your watch. Do not look at your—
“So what about you?”
Caitlyn blinked at the Ken doll. “Excuse me?”
“Do you want kids some day?” Dr. Nick took a sip of his coffee and looked at her expectantly.
Really? Were they really having the kid conversation on a first get-to-know-you date? Apparently they were.
“No,” Caitlyn heard the lie come out of her mouth and saw Dr. Nick’s brief frown of disappointment.
“I don’t believe in marriage and family.” Caitlyn didn’t know where the lies were coming from, but they came out easily and they had the desired effect. Nicholas was practically chugging his coffee.
“But your profile said—”
Caitlyn gave him a rueful look. “My roommate created my page.” She added a shrug that said “roommates, what are you gonna do?” for good measure. She saw him give the waiter a nod to signal for the check.
Good. Time’s a ticking. Caitlyn had an image of the Manhattan that was awaiting her at Cagney’s—an oasis in the desert. Let’s get a move on, mister.
* * * *
It was hard to say who was in a worse mood, Ben or Gregory.
Unable to sit in the apartment alone to wait and wonder just what was going on between Caitlyn and Mr. Perfect, he’d opted to keep Gregory company. Lord knew the poor sucker needed the distraction. But Gregory seemed determined to bring up every topic Ben did not want to discuss.
“So you didn’t tell her about Darren’s plans for the theater, huh?” Gregory was sprawled across the opposite couch, looking worse for the wear.
Ben debated ignoring his friend’s comment but decided that would only make Gregory latch on like a dog with a bone.
“No. I didn’t tell her.” His tone left no room for arguments. Also, he was seriously starting to doubt his decision to comfort his friend. He didn’t want to discuss Caitlyn, or her friends, or their pet project. He was here to distract himself from thoughts of her—particularly what she was doing at that precise moment on a date with someone else. Someone who probably wouldn’t spill his beer all over her lap or insult her life choices.
A little smile tugged at the corner of his lips at the memory of her indignation every time he called her out on being too accommodating with her knitting students. She really was adorable when she was angry.
“What are you sighing about over there?” Gregory was all but growling at him now. Oh, this was not good. And wait? Had he sighed? Oh this really was not good at all.
“I wasn’t sighing,” he lied. “Just wanted to get back to the topic at hand.” He held up a manila folder as if in evidence of his sincere desire to work.
Gregory rolled his eyes and reached for his whisky. “The theater. Right. That’s what I was talking about, too.”
No. He’d been talking about Caitlyn and the theater. Big difference. He was here to get a little perspective on the whole situation. That was what Gregory was good for—he was nothing if not rational and level-headed. Ben eyed the rapidly disappearing whisky in his friend’s glass. Well, usually he was.
Gregory waved a hand in the general direction of the folder. “All right then, what do you want to discuss about the theater?”
“Darren’s proposal—”
“Is good.” Gregory’s short response was not helpful. This time Ben did sigh, but it was with a weariness that he didn’t even pretend to hide.
“Look, I’m trying to look at this from all angles, okay? I want to see what all the options are before I—”
“Hurt Caitlyn’s feelings?” Gregory had a dangerous look in his eyes that had Ben shifting in his seat.
“What are you getting at?”
Gregory leaned forward, set the glass on the table, and rested his elbows on his knees. “Darren’s plan is a good one. You know it, I know it. The owner will know it as soon as you give Darren the go-ahead to approach him with an offer.�
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Ben opened his mouth and then shut it again.
“So, what are you waiting for?” Gregory leaned back against the sofa, looking as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
“It is a good plan,” Ben agreed. “But I have to take all options into account. The profit margin isn’t the only item to consider here.”
Gregory’s eyes grew so wide that it would have been amusing if Ben wasn’t the butt of the joke.
“Excuse me?” Gregory didn’t even try to hide his laugh. “Is this Ben I’m speaking with?” He narrowed his eyes and feigned suspicion. “Who are you and what have you done with my friend?”
Ben rolled his eyes and made a show of flipping through the documents in the file. There was some truth to what Gregory said. It was a good plan and one that would almost guarantee a sizeable return, for Darren and for Ben. So why was he hesitating?
Okay, he wasn’t going to lie to himself. Yes, the thought of the hurt look in Caitlyn’s eyes if she knew he was helping the effort to tear down the theater, well…. That look would kill him. Just imagining it did weird things to his lower intestines. But it was more than that. Now he knew just how much that place meant to her. He would be taking away her safe place, her home. And it didn’t take a genius to see that they all felt that way about the old building. Seeing how much she and her friends cared about the old place was sweet, but it also gave him some perspective. True, he was typically not one to care about historical preservation. He was more of a progressive capitalist kind of guy. But even he could see the value in a building like that. There had to be other options other than just tearing it down.
“This is about Caitlyn, isn’t it?”
Ben’s teeth clenched together. He really didn’t want to think about her right now but it would be useless to deny her connection to all this. “Caitlyn made a good point,” he finally said. “If you want to make any progress in that neighborhood, you have to show some respect for its residents and its history.”
At Gregory’s look of disbelief, he added, “Besides, she and her friends are trying to push this through the landmarks commission. If it’s approved, this plan would be dead in the water.”
Her Leading Man Page 14