by Megan Lowe
I don’t even know why I applied for uni in the first place. Maybe I was braver than I knew at that point, but it has helped in some particularly dark moments, knowing that I had the option of leaving. On the flip side, it also made it a lot harder too, knowing that I could have been up here. But I’m here now. It’s a good thing I always left it until the last minute to inform the university of my intent to defer. Both times I did, I always put it off as long as I could, debating the whole time whether this would be the year I finally took the plunge. Both times I postponed my studies, I just wasn’t ready. I am now though and my hatred of paperwork worked in my favour. It meant that my spot was open and waiting for me; all I had to do was take it up.
It’s strange being on my own. I’m so used to having nine other people around, ten if you include Liam’s partner, Mason. I’ve spoken to Knley a few times since I left but I can’t bring myself to contact my family. Despite that, I miss them like crazy. A wave of anxiety hits me when I think about what their reactions probably were when they got home from the gala and discovered I’d left. I’ve gotten a few text messages from them in the two weeks I’ve been gone. Mostly they tell me that they love me and to get in touch when I’m ready, but what if they’re just saying that so they can rip into me when I do eventually call? They’d have to be mad, there’s no way that they wouldn’t be, so no, I won’t call them. Maybe it’s better this way. This way they can focus their attention on Jax, Liam, and Cole, and I can focus on me. Yeah, that’s the way to go. Besides, classes start soon; I’ll be too busy to send a text message that takes thirty seconds to type. So yeah, onward and upward.
Hale University is Australia’s leading university for Information Technology and one of the top universities in the world. Yeah, I don’t know how I got in either. Walking onto campus during O-week gives me a thrill, and I can’t help the huge smile that’s on my face. I’m here, I’m doing it, I’m following my dreams! The campus is located in Parkwood, and while it’s not huge, it’s definitely big enough. There are people everywhere, all with similar looks on their faces to mine. While I don’t know any of them, I feel like I do because we’re all in the same boat.
I get all the boring stuff out of the way before checking out the computer labs. Let me tell you, they’re things of beauty, equipped with all the latest gadgets. I’m in heaven and know I’m going to be spending a lot of time here. I might even work on some coursework too!
Finally, I tear myself away from the computers, exit the building, and head for the tram. I know, massive change of pace for me, but I like it. I didn’t even bring a bike up here with me, and parking’s a bitch so catching public transport is just one more way I’m being “normal.”
I get to the stop and find there’s only one other person waiting, a girl of about eighteen. She’s gorgeous. A little taller than average, I’d say five four, with wavy red hair and curves. My God, does she have curves. I bet she probably gets shit for them from other women, but to guys they’re what fantasies are made of. There’s a noticeable tightening in my shorts, and I subtly try to adjust myself before she—uh, oh wow. Her eyes are this incredible jade colour, and I can’t help but smile when they make contact with my dull blue-grey ones. The situation in my shorts just got a whole lot worse, but is also forgotten under her gaze. Her eyes drift down my body, taking in my five-ten frame and trim FMX build, before her nose turns when she sees the ink peeking out from my collar, up my neck, down my arms, hands, and covering my legs, not to mention my lip and eyebrow rings. With a “hmph,” she turns back to her Kindle thing—I only know it’s called that because Bria has one—and studiously ignores me.
Okay then. I know the tattoos can be a bit intimidating, but surely in this day and age people are used to them and can overlook them, right? I look over at her again and see she’s angled herself so her back is to me. Whatever, I’m here to learn, not to pick up chicks. The tram comes and we hop on, her going right to the front, me staying smack bang in the middle. If she’s uncomfortable with me, then that’s on her. I’ve hidden myself away for too long and I’ll be damned if I do it here in the place where I’m getting my new start. Fuck her for making me feel like I’ve done something wrong because of the artwork on my skin. My tattoos all have significance to me, and I won’t feel bad about them for anybody, no matter how incredibly smoking hot she is.
New Mav is happy. He’s doing what he wants and following his dreams; there’s no need to ever be angry again.
Chapter 4
Mav
It’s funny how when you follow your heart, everything is better. I know that’s vague, but it’s true. Not a morning person but faced with early morning classes? No problem. Not a fan of slow public transport? Stay at uni and tool around there. Smoking-hot girl looks at you like you’re chewie stuck to the bottom of her shoe? It doesn’t matter, because you’re finally doing what you’ve always wanted!
Okay, so maybe it does matter a little. The fact I’m not able to stop thinking about her two weeks later clearly means she’s gotten under my skin. I’m not going to dwell on it, though; I’ve got bigger fish to fry. Still, I can’t help but feel just a tiny bit empty. I thought coming up here and letting myself finally be me would come with more of a sense of completion, but it almost feels the opposite. I’ve just got to remind myself this is what I wanted, and it’s how things are gonna go, apparently.
I’m sitting in my tutorial for Intro to Computer Programming when the tutor tells us we’ll be pairing up for our major assessment. I haven’t really gotten to know any of the people in my course, which means I’m going to have to break out of my self-imposed antisocial bubble. Okay, big boy jocks, Mav, this is what you wanted so this is what you’ve gotta do. I glance at the guy to my right; he looks at me, and I shrug. He shrugs too.
“Mav Ryan,” I say, extending a hand to him.
“Josh James,” he replies, taking my hand and shaking it firmly.
“So how do you want to do this?” I ask him. From what I can tell he’s shorter than me, probably five six, with red hair, green eyes, and a computer geek’s body. You know the type, pale skin from staying inside all the time, and a bit of pudge from a diet of processed food and energy drinks. I’d say he looks like a pudgy, male version of the girl from the tram stop, but I don’t want to sound like I’m obsessing over her. Besides, seeing her features in random people, especially when that random person happens to be a dude, is weird.
“Do you wanna come over to mine? We can get everything organised and spread out a bit.”
I look around at the full lab. “Yeah, okay, where do you live?” I ask.
“Not far. Do you have a car?”
“Nah, I catch the tram and leave my car at my flat.”
He nods. “Yeah, parking’s a bitch. That’s why I’m glad we live within walking distance.”
“You have anything else today?”
Josh shakes his head. “Nah.”
“Want to get out of here then?”
“Sure.”
We get up and leave, quickly falling in step as we walk towards his house.
“So how old are you?” he asks me after a while.
“Twenty.”
“Really? You look older.”
“It’s the tatts.”
He shrugs. “You’re a first year though, right?” I nod. “So what did you do between high school and now?”
I’ve been dreading this question and how I was going to answer it. I’m not ashamed of my career, but on the flip side I don’t want people looking at me differently when they find out I’m an FMX “star.” “Not much, just tooled around for a while.”
He nods. “Nice.”
“What about you?” I ask.
“I’m eighteen and fresh out of high school.”
“It’s kind of surreal here, right?” I say. “I mean, it’s like we’re proper members of society, being here and learning stuff so we can contribute in some meaningful way.”
He stops and looks at me.
“That was way deep, man.”
I blush. “Sorry, it’s just I’m excited to be doing this. My family, well, they’re on a different track.” There’s a pang in my chest when I mention family. I still haven’t spoken to them, even though Jax has taken to sending me daily messages calling me all manner of colourful and inventive names.
“That’s rough, man,” Josh says, resuming his pace. “It’s gotta suck to know your family aren’t behind you.”
“It’s not that, it’s just, uni’s not what we do. Besides my sister-in-law and sort-of brother-in-law, I’m the only one to even think about tertiary education, let alone actually go.”
“What do they do?”
“Bikes. We own a garage, and a diner too.” I feel bad that I’m selling my family short, but if I give away too much it won’t be too hard for someone to figure out who I am.
“That’s cool.”
“It is until it isn’t, you know?”
We walk for a bit in silence before I ask him about his family. He blows out a breath.
“There’s just my twin sister and my grandpa. He’s the captain of a commercial fishing boat. It means he’s gone for long periods of time but he really wants us to focus solely on uni so he works hard so we don’t have to get jobs. He’s kind of a hard-arse but he’s all the family we’ve got.”
“Where are your parents?” I ask.
“They died a couple of years ago, plane crash.”
Ah fuck. “I’m sorry, man, that sucks. My mum died when I was two, so I know how it is,” I tell him.
“Yeah. They both wanted me and Aubrey to go to uni. I’m just bummed they didn’t get to see it,” he says.
“Nah man, they’re watching,” I reply.
“You think?”
“Trust me, if you knew my family you’d know that loss is something we’re well acquainted with, so I can say with some confidence that I think they’re seeing everything.”
“You’re a strange guy, Mav Ryan.”
I smile. “I’ve been called worse.”
Josh’s house is about ten minutes’ walk from campus, surrounded by a ton of houses all rented out to uni students. It’s on the smaller side, but I can tell the value comes from the location.
“My grandparents bought this house when the area was first developed,” he says as we walk in. “They thought it’d be a good investment, but I don’t think they ever anticipated being surrounded by uni kids.”
“But you can’t beat the location, right?”
“Nah, it’s prime. Come on, we’ll go to my room.” He leads me up the stairs, past a wall of photos all featuring him and what has to be his sister as kids, along with adults I assume are his parents and grandparents. There are four rooms leading off the corridor; Josh’s room is the first. Inside, the walls are covered with old-school video game posters.
“Whoa!” I say with a laugh.
“Yeah,” Josh says bashfully, scratching at the stubble on his cheek. “My sister hates them. She says I should at least be on ‘trend’”—he makes air quotes—“by getting into comics, but it’s just not my thing.”
“I feel that,” I say. “Nothing worse than going against who you are. Besides, this is your space, who cares what your sister thinks? She doesn’t have to live in here.” He chuckles and takes a seat on the bed while I take the desk chair.
The hours fly by, and before we know it we’ve got the outline completed and already started on the research.
“You really know your stuff,” Josh says as he gets up and turns on the light.
“You sound surprised.”
“Well, it’s not like you look like a computer geek.” He motions to the ink on my body.
I chuckle. “Yeah, I know, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right?”
He shakes his head. “You really are one strange dude.”
I shoot him a smile. “You’ll get used to me.”
He laughs. “You want something to drink? My sister should be home soon, which means the nagging will start about how I need to help out around the house more. If I’m in the kitchen it at least looks like I’m attempting to do something.”
“Yeah, all right.” I laugh as I follow him downstairs. Not long after, we hear the front door open, and Josh starts banging cupboards.
“Just because you’re in the kitchen making noise doesn’t mean you’ll fool me into thinking you’re actually doing something,” a sexy as hell voice says. It’s all husky, and I’m intrigued to see the girl it belongs to.
I almost fall off the stool I’m perched on when the girl from the tram stop walks in. A huge smile crosses my face, but when she sees me she squeaks and stops dead. For what feels like forever, we just stare at each other.
“Do you want me to leave you two alone?” Josh asks, his banging and clanging now long forgotten. Fortunately, neither that nor his words are enough to tear my or his sister’s eyes away. If possible, hers are greener than they were the other day.
“Hi,” I say quietly.
She doesn’t say anything, just continues to stare at me, frozen in place, a stunned expression on her face.
“Do you two know each other?” Josh asks.
I shake my head. “Nah, we were waiting for the same tram the other day.” I extend a hand to her. “Mav Ryan.”
“Aub,” Josh hisses when she makes no move to offer her own hand. I just chuckle. “Aubrey!” Josh says, a little firmer this time.
“Huh?” she says, snapping out of whatever reverie she was in. Josh jerks his head in my direction. “Oh.” She extends her hand, out of habit I’d guess. But I don’t mind. It’s soft and delicate in mine, so unlike my dry, calloused one, but once she touches me a sense of peace and a desire to protect her come over me. It’s strange, I can’t explain it except to say this girl is definitely something different, something special.
“Aubrey James,” she says in a husky voice.
I give her my best smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Aubrey.” I shoot her a wink, and she drops my hand like it’s burning her.
“I’m going upstairs,” she snaps at Josh. “If you want dinner, cook it yourself for once.” She storms out of the room.
“Oookkkaaayyyy,” Josh says to her retreating back.
“She seems nice,” I tell him.
Chapter 5
Aubrey
I rush up the stairs and into my room, slamming the door before sliding to the floor. What the hell is he doing here? I figured he was a student at the uni, given he was at the tram stop, but what are the odds that he knows Josh? Are they in the same course? Does that mean they’re going to work together? Study together? If they do, it means he’s probably going to be here, a lot. Oh God! My chest is tight, and it feels like I’m not getting enough air in my lungs.
A knock on the door at my back makes me jump.
“I’m fine, Josh,” I manage to gasp.
“It’s not Josh, it’s Mav, and you don’t sound fine.”
“It’s nothing, just winded from running up the stairs. I’m out of shape, that’s all.”
“Would you let me in, please?”
Why on earth? “What? No! I don’t even know you.”
“Please, Aubrey, just open the door. I clearly caused this reaction, so I’d like to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine, really. Just leave me alone, I don’t need your help.”
“I hope you won’t be offended that I don’t take your word for it.” I am, actually. I’m the most trustworthy person I know. “I’m not leaving until you open the door,” he warns. When I still don’t answer the door, he speaks again. “Just letting you know I have three older brothers who taught me a lot about patience, and a younger brother who put us all to the test. I can wait all night, sweetheart.” I hear a whooshing sound and figure he’s probably slid down the wall. It’s only when I hear him humming a tune that I give in and open the door.
“I told you I’m fine,” I say.
“Good.” I go to shut the door again, but he stops me.
“Wait.” He fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “Um, would you maybe want to go on a date with me?”
I scoff at his performance. I’ve seen a few of them in my time, but his is good. It has just the right amount of authenticity to it that almost makes it believable, but not quite.
“No,” I say, and shut the door in his face.
Chapter 6
Mav
I didn’t stay long after Aubrey turned me down cold and slammed the door in my face. Didn’t see the point, really. Her reaction to me intrigued me, though. It’s clear she’s attracted to me, but it seems she’s determined to keep me at arm’s length. I think about that all the way home. By the time I get there, I’m no clearer on the situation than before. What I really need is some advice. I would ring one of my brothers, but I know any conversation with them would involve about three hours of lecturing me about taking off, and I can’t be fucked to deal with that right now. No, what I really need is a woman’s perspective. I smile as I dial the number.