by Megan Lowe
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favourite reclusive FMX rider,” McKnley says in greeting. Sidebar: I don’t know why she spells her name like that, but I dig it. “How the fuck are you?” she asks.
“I’m good, really good,” I reply.
“I can tell.”
“How?”
“You sound lighter, happier. I bet you’re even smiling,” she jokes.
“Fuck off,” I say, but my smile widens and I laugh.
“So what’s up, maverick Mav? Oh hey! I just realised your name is the definition of who you are.”
I groan. “How does Cole put up with you?”
“I charm him with my feminine wiles and other body parts.”
“Oh gross, I didn’t need to know that!”
She just laughs. “So what’s up?” she asks.
“I um, I need some, uh…,” I stutter.
“Oh, I know that stutter. You met someone.”
“I, ah, yeah,” I concede.
“So who is she? Or he? We’re an all-inclusive house here at Casa Matthews.”
“Her name is Aubrey.”
“Oh, that’s pretty. So tell me about this Aubrey.”
“She’s um, well, she’s beautiful,” I tell her truthfully. “She’s got gorgeous red hair, curves for days. She’s like five four maybe, and these incredible green eyes. They blow me away every time I see them.”
“Sounds serious.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“What? Who is this girl? Anyone in their right mind would be clamouring to be within ten metres of you. Clearly this girl is defective.” I chuckle some more. “Want me to come up there and kick her arse?” Knley’s the only one from my “old” life I told where I was.
“You’re pregnant,” I remind her.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about them.”
“Them?”
I can hear the smile in her voice. “Yeah, twins. We had the first scan the other day.”
“Wow! That’s great! Congrats, Kn.”
“Thanks, Cole’s pretty pleased with himself.” She snickers.
“I bet he is.”
“But seriously, this girl has got to be nuts if she wants nothing to do with you. You’re a great guy, Mav,” she says, all joking aside.
“Whatever. It’s weird, though. I can tell she’s into me, or at least she likes what she sees, but when I asked her out she shut me down cold.”
“Hmm, sounds like she’s been burned before.”
“So how do I get past that?” I ask.
She sighs. “You’ve just got to hang in there, convince her you’re not like all those other guys who have burned her in the past. You’ve got to play a long game here.”
“I don’t want to play anything.”
“I know. You’ve just got to be patient with her. Eventually she’ll work out what a great guy you are and you’ll ride off into the sunset together.”
“What happens if she doesn’t realise I’m a good guy?” I ask. It’s something I genuinely want to know the answer to.
“Then she isn’t worth your time or effort. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.”
“Right,” I agree.
“So things are good up there?” she asks, after a short pause.
“Yeah, really good. Everything just feels right. It fits, you know?”
“I do,” McKnley says.
“How are, are my family…,” I trail off, the lump in my throat too large to continue.
“They’re good. They miss you.”
“Have you told them you talk to me?” I ask in a small voice.
“I’ve told your dad, Park, and Bria, who I assume has told Reed.”
“Are they angry?” I’m scared to know the answer to that one.
“Jax is. I think he’s more hurt that you didn’t talk to him about what was going on.”
“Yeah.”
“But no, they’re not angry. Well, not that you left. They’re pissed you haven’t called. To be honest, I think your dad’s kind of proud to have a son in uni.”
“He knows I’m here?” I say, surprised.
“I wasn’t going to tell them I was talking to you, but they didn’t know where you were and were concerned for your safety. As someone who will have her own children to worry about soon, I can relate, so I told him.”
“Okay, yeah, I get it, it’s just—”
“You’ve never done anything like this before and you’re feeling guilty for being selfish,” she says, cutting me off.
“Do you think I’m being selfish?”
“No,” she says firmly. “You’re doing what you need to do in order to live a full and happy life that you want. Now, do I think you’re stupid for not talking to your family? Absolutely. They love you, they support you, they’re not angry, so I don’t know what’s stopping you, but that’s your business.”
“I guess I’m worried that once I start talking to them I’ll get sucked back into that world,” I tell her.
“Do you honestly believe they would force you into something they know you don’t have the heart for anymore?”
“No, but—”
“Well there you go, then,” she says, cutting me off again.
“I do miss them,” I say quietly.
“That makes eleven of you, thirteen if you include Cole and me, which you better. You’re stuck with us no matter what.” I laugh. “Just call them, okay?”
“I, yeah, I...,” I stutter.
“Just do it, Mav. And be patient with Aubrey. I have no doubt that she’ll see what a great guy you are.”
“Thanks, Knley.”
“You’re welcome,” she says cheerfully.
“I’ll talk to you later.”
“Call your family!” she says, before I end the call.
When I do, I see the photo of all of us; my pop, Pa, Park, Christian, Reed, Bria, Avery, Liam, Jax, and me at the BBQ we had to celebrate the start of the last NRS season. My chest tightens seeing their smiling faces. I will call them. Just not today.
Chapter 7
Aubrey
Over the next month I see a lot of Mav. It was just as I hoped, I mean feared. He and Josh have a couple of classes together and are now firm friends. I’m pretty sure my brother has a bit of a man crush on ol’ Mav. Not that I can blame him. It seems like every time I see him he gets hotter, which is both impossible and downright annoying. What’s even more annoying is the fact he hasn’t asked me out again. Not that I’d say yes, but still, that’s it? He’s giving up?
Now when he sees me he gives a nod and says “hi” in that quiet, almost timid manner he has. It’s been a month, and every time I see him it’s the same. Truth be told, it’s almost enough to get me to cave, but just as the thought enters my head I remind myself of what happened last time and the door quickly shuts again. It’s just as well; I’ve heard some of the girls in my nursing course talk about how hot he is and all the things they’d like to do to him. There’s no way I’d ever be able to compete with them.
Not that I want to. Damn it, Aubrey! No, I made my decision and I’m going to stick with it. I’ve had more than my fair share of bad-boy-induced heartache, and Mav Ryan will not be the cause of any more.
Speaking of bad boys… my phone buzzes, and for what has to be the fiftieth time in the past few days his number appears on the screen. For the fiftieth time I decline the call with a huff. I can’t take much more of this and I shouldn’t have to. Determined to end it, I storm into Josh’s room.
“You want to explain to me why he’s calling me again?” I ask, holding my phone up.
Josh holds up his hands. “I swear I didn’t give Mav your number. If he has it he got it from somebody else.”
“What? Mav asked for my number?” I ask, momentarily stunned.
“Uh, yeah,” he says. The “duh” is implied. “He really likes you. I don’t know why, but he does.”
The insult is
enough to get me back on the task at hand. “Whatever. It’s not Mav who’s calling me.”
My twin’s face drops. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I, um,” he says, scratching his cheek.
I sigh and sit on his bed. “You’ve got to stop this. You know it doesn’t lead to anything good.”
“I know.” Defeat is written all over his face.
“Why?” I ask, even though I know there’s no definitive answer. As if proving my point, Josh shrugs. “How much this time?”
“Five grand.”
“Five grand!” I yell. “What the hell, Josh? How the fuck did you let it get this bad?”
He shrugs. “There was the cricket test series and then the one dayers, Big Bash, and the A League. It just kind of snowballed.”
“Well, what are you going to do? We don’t have that kind of money.”
“I know. I keep thinking I’ll win it back but—”
“Your luck or lack thereof got you into this mess in the first place,” I finish for him.
“Yeah.” He sighs. “Maybe I could get a loan or a credit card?”
“You’re a uni student with no job and no savings. They’d be mad to approve you.” I sigh, knowing it’s up to me to do something. “Let me see what I can do, all right?”
“What? Aub, no.”
“It’s okay. I have some savings. Maybe that will buy us enough time to come up with a plan to get the rest.”
“Thank you,” he says, quietly.
“But this is the last time I do this, Josh, I mean it,” I say sternly.
He nods. “I know, and I hate you’re involved. I’ll get help, I promise.”
I kiss my little—I’m older by twelve very important minutes—brother on the forehead and go back to my room. Flopping on the bed, I steel myself to call the one person in this world I truly hate.
“Aubrey!” he says in his smarmy voice, “how are you, baby? I missed you.”
“Cut it out, Connor, I’m not calling for you, I’m calling to work out a deal for Josh.”
“I’d be happy to transfer his debt to you and we can work it off together.”
My skin crawls. How I ever fell for this jerk, I’ll never know. Ignoring his statement, I plough on. “I don’t have everything he owes you, but I can get some of it.”
“How much?”
“Fifteen hundred dollars.”
“What about the rest?” Connor asks.
“We’ll get the rest, we just need a little time.”
“And what do I get if I give you this time and your shit-for-brains brother still can’t come up with my money?” he asks.
I bite my lip. As much as I hate what I’m about to do, if it’ll save Josh and get him out of the hole he’s dug himself, then it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. The drawback of being the elder sibling, I suppose. Here goes nothing. “I’ll go on a date with you,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Must be some date for thirty-five hundred dollars.”
“It’s that or nothing,” I tell him.
He considers for a moment. “Okay, I’ll take your deal. But when your brother can’t come up with the rest of my money, I will be collecting from you, and no amount of begging or pleading will get you out of it. You have two weeks.”
“I’ll transfer the cash now, it should be clear by morning,” I say, ignoring his threats. The less I think about them the better.
“Much appreciated. Oh, and tell Josh I’ve got good odds on the Premier League if he’s interested.”
“Fuck you,” I spit, and end the call. I scream into my pillow in frustration. How could Josh be so stupid? How come I can never let him deal with the consequences of his actions on his own? Why did I get myself caught in the middle again?
I need to take a shower in order to get rid of the sleaziness of the deal I’ve just made. As I do, I think of Mav and what he’d think of all this.
I shake my head. Never mind me not wanting to get involved with him. I’m sure if he knew about all this, he wouldn’t want to be involved with me.
Chapter 8
Mav
I pick up my phone for what has to be the hundredth time. Each time I vowed this would be when I got the guts to call, but I could never bring myself to do it. Throw a double backflip/trick combo during competition? No worries, but actually make a phone call? Fuck no! I put the phone down again.
You know what, fuck it. I pick it up again, unlock it, and dial. It rings forever before he finally picks up.
“So you’re alive then?” Jax asks, not wasting any time or pleasantries.
“Hey, um, yeah, I’m—”
“Good,” he interrupts, and hangs up on me. I knew he’d be pissed, but this is beyond that. I dial again. This time he doesn’t say anything for a long time after he answers.
“What?” he says after the lengthy silence.
“You going to let me talk?” I ask.
“Fuck you, Mav. How long have we lived together? You had plenty of time to talk, but you never said shit to me. Then, I get home from the gala, two very lovely ladies in tow, to find all your shit gone and some bullshit letter on the kitchen table. So you tell me, are you gonna talk?”
“Look, I get that you’re angry—” I start.
“Oh no, angry passed about a week after you left. I’m so far beyond angry now I can’t even see it.”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “What do you want me to say, Jax?”
“I wanted you to tell me what was going on two and a half months ago, or hell, anytime before you just up and fucking left me.”
Shit, I didn’t realise he’d take it that way.
“You know it wasn’t like that.”
“I don’t know shit. You know why? Because you. Didn’t. Fucking. Tell. Me!” he yells.
“I know, and I’m really sorry about that, but—”
“You can shove your apology,” he spits.
“Jax—”
“No, Mav, you made your bed, now you have to lie in it. Have a good life, brother.” And once again he hangs up on me. Fuck! I was so caught up in all my bullshit I didn’t even stop to take into account how Jax would take it.
I dial another number.
“Hello,” Park says in his deep voice.
“Hey, Park, it’s me, Mav,” I say.
“I know. How are you?”
I smile. “I’m good.”
“Yeah? Good to hear.”
“Look, before I get into it, I just talked to Jax.” As I say that I hear a door being wrenched open, and a stream of profanity coming out of Jax’s mouth.
“That cocksucking motherfucker, who does he think he is?” I can hear him stomping around, and the slam of the door.
“Hey!” Park scolds. “Avery is sleeping, and you know Reed will have a fit if she doesn’t get her nap.” A shrill cry pierces the air. “Fuck,” Park curses. “Mav,” he says to me, “I gotta go, okay? But it was good to hear from you. Call me again and we can talk, all right?” I don’t even have time to agree before he hangs up on me. At least this time it wasn’t in anger.
Sighing, I dial one more number.
“I was wondering when you were going to call,” Pop says.
“Hey, Pop.”
“Mav, you doing okay?” My dad’s voice is strong and sure, much like the man himself.
“Everything’s pretty great up here.”
“Good to hear, good to hear.”
“How about you? How’s everything at home?” I ask, in a small voice. Right now, in this moment, I can’t help but feel like a little kid who’s been sent away.
“We’re good. Our little princess started walking the other day. You should’ve seen Reed, he was crowing about, proclaiming she was the cleverest child to ever live.”
I chuckle. I can imagine Reed’s reaction, Bria’s too, and then it hits me. I missed my niece’s first steps. “That’s, ah—” I stop to clear my throat. “—that’s great.”
“Yeah, Reed
’s already planning on teaching her how to ride. Not sure Bria’s too keen on that idea though.”
“Nah, our princess will be fine, she’s a Ryan after all.”
“So what about you? How’s uni?” I can hear the pride in his voice. “My son, the uni student. Who’d have thought, eh?” He chuckles.
I laugh. “Yeah, it’s pretty good. Classes are good, everything’s um, good,” I finish lamely.
“But?” Pop asks.
I blow out a breath. “I dunno. I feel guilty, I guess, for leaving, for the way I left, everything.”
“Mav,” he says.
“I spoke to Jax before. He was pissed. He was beyond pissed.”
Pop sighs. “Your brother has trouble with people leaving. Stems from us losing your mother when he was so young.”
“I didn’t think, I didn’t mean—” I stop and take a breath. “This has nothing to do with him.”
“I know. Jax does too, he’s just hurt you never thought to tell him what was going on with you.”
“I didn’t tell anyone. It wasn’t just Jax left in the dark.”
“You always were one who played his cards close to his chest,” Pop says.
“So you’re not mad at me?” I ask.
“Mad? Why would I be mad?”
“Because I left, I’m not riding anymore,” I say. I mean, it’s obvious, isn’t it?
“You think I care about that?” Pop asks.
I shrug. “It’s what we do, who we are.”
“It may be what we do, but it certainly is not who we are. We’re whoever we want to be. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re an IT whizz or an NRS champ, or hell, a stay-at-home dad. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy, you got that?” he says.
I nod, unable to speak through the tears welling in my eyes and the lump in my throat. Eventually I get a hold of myself and answer. “Yeah, I got it.”
“Good. Yes, your brother is angry and you have a lot of work to do to make it up to him, but deep down he’s proud of you, Mav. We all are. It’s a big thing you did.”
“Mmm.” It’s all I can get out without embarrassing myself.
“Sometimes I think you boys forget just how in each other’s pockets we are. Not a lot of kids move out one or two doors down from their parents, but that’s what all of you did. Don’t get me wrong, your pa and I love that you’re close, but it also means that everyone tends to do everything together. If, like you found out, you want to do something different, it’s tough. Jax is lucky. He loves what he does and he’s damn good at it, but you, I could always tell your heart was somewhere else.”