by Megan Lowe
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask.
“It wasn’t up to me. You had to realise that on your own.”
“I do love riding,” I say.
“Oh, I know you do. You wouldn’t have lasted as long as you did if you didn’t, but you were meant for other things.”
“I still miss it though,” I confess. It’s the first time I’ve admitted that since I left.
“It’s in your blood, and hey, there’s no rule saying you can’t do both.”
I ponder Pop’s words; could I do that? “You think I could do that? Uni and ride?”
“Only one way to find out.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to test that theory just yet,” I concede.
“Whenever. Your bike will always be here for you.”
“Thanks, Pop.”
“And don’t worry about Jax, he’ll come around.” I wish I could be as confident as he is.
“I hope so.”
“Look after yourself, Mav,” Pop says, affection clear in his tone.
“I will, and give my love to everyone.”
“Sure thing, and hey, don’t wait so long to call next time,” he says playfully.
I laugh. “I won’t. Bye, Pop.”
“Bye, son.” He hangs up.
I blow out a breath and flop back on the couch, a weight lifted off my shoulders.
Even though I have to go past uni to get to Josh and Aubrey’s house, I still do it every day I have a class with Josh. I could tell you that I like the company, but the truth is, I’ll take any chance to see her again. I haven’t asked her out again, even though I want to, badly. I think given her reaction to me, it’s more important to show her what I’m really like; at least I hope it is. If not, I’ve wasted a hell of a lot of time when we could’ve been together.
“Hey,” I say as I walk into the Jameses’ kitchen. I’ve long since given up knocking before I go in.
“Hey, man,” Josh says through a mouthful of cereal.
“Aubrey,” I say, and nod. As usual she looks amazing, her red hair done up in a ponytail high on her head, a tank top and pair of shorts making her already perfect body look downright sinful. She doesn’t say anything, just puts her dishes in the sink and stomps away.
“Okay then,” I say as I take the seat she just vacated. “Is it me, or is she even more irritated by my presence?” I ask.
“She’s got a lot on her mind,” Josh mumbles.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“I kinda got her into something with her fuckhead ex, and she’s not pleased about it.”
“Why? What happened?” I don’t like the sound of Aubrey with any guy, let alone an ex who’s apparently a fuckhead.
“It’s nothing. I lost some bets, that’s all.”
“If you’re in trouble, I can help,” I offer.
“Thanks, but we’ll figure it out.”
“Are you sure? If this guy’s dodgy, then I don’t like the idea of your sister having anything to do with him.”
Josh smiles. “You really like her, huh?”
I blush. “Of course, she’s beautiful.”
“She could do a lot worse than you,” he says.
“Yeah? Mind telling her that?”
“Connor really fucked her up, man. He’s not a nice guy.”
“That the ex?” He nods. “So why did you get involved with him?” I ask.
He blows out a breath. “Because I’m an idiot. I thought I had everything handled, and then it all just spiralled out of control. Now Aubrey’s involved and it’s all just a mess.”
“What happened between them?” Maybe if I can understand what she’s been through previously, it might help me understand where she’s coming from and why she’s reluctant to let me in.
“He did the whole, ‘I’m a nice guy and I’m gonna treat you like you deserve to be treated’ bit, and then did the opposite.”
“Was he violent?” I ask, my fists clenching.
He shakes his head. “Nah, but he screwed with her head. Taunting her, probably verbally abusing her, stuff like that.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, man. I mean, I already feel like a dick getting involved with him myself, but now Aubrey’s decided to insert herself into my mess.” He blows out a breath. “It’s a fucking disaster.”
I slap him on the back. “I know you said you’ve got it handled, but if you need anything, let me know, okay?” I offer again.
“I appreciate it, but—”
“Just keep it in mind, okay?”
Chapter 9
Aubrey
Mav Ryan is a stubborn arsehole! It’s clear to me now he’s not going to give up, that he’s playing a long game. And he’s doing it incredibly well. He and Josh are as tight as two peas in a pod. It’s sickening. His whole act is sickening. He comes around here, acting all polite, not bothering me, not flirting with me, being the perfect gentleman. Well, I’m onto his game. I know and have dealt with his type before, and I’ll be damned if I go through any of that again.
Once again Mav strolls into the kitchen like he owns the place, as he has been doing for weeks now. Josh jumps up and embraces his BFF. From the way my brother is acting, you’d think Mav was the second coming.
“Hey, man, good to see you,” Josh says.
Mav chuckles. “Because yesterday was so long ago.” My brother blushes, but the smile he’s had on his face since Mav walked in hasn’t dimmed. “Aubrey,” Mav says to me, nodding like he’s a well-mannered southern gentleman. I’m sorry, am I supposed to swoon? I make a non-committal sound and continue to make my breakfast.
“Aubrey,” Josh says.
“What?” I snap.
“Mav was just trying to be friendly. You could at least say hello.”
“Whatever,” I say dismissively, and take my bowl over to the table.
“He’s my friend, Aubrey, my only friend. You could be a bit nicer.”
“You guys know I’m standing right here, right?” Mav asks.
“Why should I be nice when I know guys like him and what they want?” I say, doing my best to ignore Mav, which is hard to do in such close quarters.
“All he’s done is be nice to you. How the fuck does that mean you ‘know what he wants’? From where I’m standing, he wants to be polite to his friend’s sister, even if she’s being a bitch.”
“Nice, Josh. So I’m a bitch because I don’t want to be taken in by his charm?”
“For what it’s worth,” Mav says, “I don’t have any charm, and all I want is to be polite. Maybe a date, but I don’t want to push my luck.”
“Maybe a date?” I ask, turning to him. “You’re not sure if you want to date me or not?” I tilt my head to the side and glare at him.
He holds his hands up. “First, I’d love a date with you. But you’re clearly not receptive to my advances, so I haven’t bothered asking in case I was chasing a lost cause, which clearly I am. And second, I really was just trying to be polite. Underneath the tattoos I’m a nice guy, I swear.”
I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. “Oh, you’re a nice guy, huh?” I ask.
“Yeah.” Mav shrugs.
“Aubrey,” Josh hisses, “what the hell has gotten into you?”
Eventually my laughter subsides. I take a breath and steel myself. “Nothing has gotten into me, Josh, and nothing will get into me.” I turn and address Mav. “I’m not some easy lay, someone you can take for a ride and dump once you’ve had your fun. I’m better than that, I deserve more than that, more than you.” The look on his face is hard to read. He’s pissed off for sure, but there’s something else going on, acceptance maybe? It’s almost like I’ve hit the nail on the head. Well screw him, I don’t need him to validate me and my thoughts. With a huff, I shove away from the table and stalk out of the house.
Chapter 10
Mav
She’s right. Aubrey is 100 percent right. She does deserve more than me. I thought that once I moved to the Coast, all the
disquiet in my heart and mind would disappear. I’m doing what I want, what I truly love, so why am I more conflicted than ever before?
You know why, the voice in my head tells me. I’m torn. Torn between who I want to be and who I think I should be. My heart wants me to be here, to get my degree, but my head is telling me I’ve let my family down. And who wants to be with someone who’s so fucked up he doesn’t know whether he’s Arthur or Martha? No, Aubrey’s right about deserving more than me. I’ll let it go; I’ll let her go. I’ve had enough practice watching the things I want from afar; she’s just one more thing I want but can’t have.
After class, Josh and I hit up the uni bar. It’s been a shit day and a cold beer is just what we need to take the edge off.
It’s sometime after my second drink that I go to pee and return to a scene that makes my blood boil. Josh is sitting on a stool where I left him, but he’s not alone anymore. Some guys from our course are surrounding him. I’d like to think it was a friendly interaction, except for the expression on Josh’s face. He’s uncomfortable, and that’s not cool.
“Hey, guys,” I say as I approach them.
“Oh hey,” Tool One says. “It’s Mav, right?”
I nod and extend a hand. “Mav Ryan.”
“Derek, nice to meet ya,” he says.
“Wayne,” the other one says, taking my hand as well.
“So you guys are in the IT program here too?” I ask.
They nod. “Yep, along with Joshie here,” Derek says, slapping Josh on the shoulder. I see him wince from the force of the hit.
“Yeah?” I ask. “I didn’t realise you were all mates.” I gesture between them.
Derek and Wayne burst out laughing. “We’re not,” Wayne says.
“Oh?” I ask.
Derek scoffs. “As if we’d be friends with this loser.”
“So if you’re not friends, why are you bothering him?” I ask.
“Nah, man, you’ve got it all wrong,” Wayne says. “See, we used to go to high school with old Joshie here, and we wanted to come over and say hi, you know, catch up and shit.”
“Yeah,” Derek adds. “We saw him sitting here, so we thought we’d come over, see what was new, that sort of stuff.”
“Gotcha,” I tell them. “So we’re all good here?” I ask Josh.
“Yeah, sure,” he mumbles, contrary to the expression on his face that says he’s anything but fine with the situation.
“Yeah, Mav, man, take a seat, chill a little,” Wayne says, and pulls out the stool I was sitting on previously. They take up seats on the other side of Josh and order a drink before starting up the conversation again.
“So, Joshie,” Derek says, “you still living with your grandpa?”
“Yep,” Josh says, studiously avoiding the two tools’ gazes.
“What about that fine-arse sister of yours? She still around?” Wayne asks. My fists clench at the mention of Aubrey.
Josh nods. “Yeah, she’s still here.”
“She seeing anybody?” Derek asks, a smug look on his face that I would take immense pleasure in wiping off.
“She’s busy,” Josh says, vaguely.
“I’d doubt she’d be too busy for us,” Derek continues. “We go all the way back to high school, after all.”
“Yeah, Josh man, hook us up,” Wayne says. “She was fine back then, I bet she’s smokin’ now.”
“Come on, guys, just lay off Aubrey, okay?” Josh pleads.
“Oh, I’ll lay off her,” Derek says, “right after I’ve shot my load in her tight pussy.”
That’s it. I get up, grab Tool Derek by the scruff of his neck, and slam him down on the bar.
“Whoa, man,” Wayne says.
“You think that’s an appropriate way to talk about a lady?” I ask Derek as I mash his face into the bar.
“Get the fuck off me!” he replies.
“Not until you answer the question, cockhead. Do you think that’s an acceptable way to talk about a lady?” I ask again.
“Fuck. You,” he spits.
I pinch the back of his neck and he writhes in pain. “Answer the question!”
“Hey, man, we were just joking,” Wayne says, his face now pale and free of the confidence he had a few minutes ago.
“Yeah? You think it’s funny to talk about a woman in such a vile way?” I ask him.
“It was just a joke!” Derek says.
“I don’t give a shit. You’re talking about Josh’s sister. She’s a human being, not a sexual object.”
“Have you seen her?” Derek asks. “She’s nothing but a sexual object. Something wet and warm I’m dying to stick my dick in.” I pick him up and throw him to the floor. I then lean down and get in his face.
“There’s two things you’re going to do before I kick your arse,” I tell him. “One, you’re going to apologise to Josh for disrespecting his sister, and two, you’re going to forget all about Aubrey James.”
“Yeah, you tapping that?” he asks. The tool just doesn’t know when to shut up. “Hell, if I were, I’d go apeshit to protect what’s mine too.”
“And that right there is why you’ll never get a girl like Aubrey. She’s not something you can possess, she’s a person to be treasured.”
“Whatever, fag.”
I laugh. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. But I’ll tell you something. My brother’s gay. He’s been with his partner for five years, nice guys, attractive as all hell, but that’s beside the point. You call me a fag like it’s an insult, but my brother, who you’d label a ‘fag’”—I make air quotes—“is a two-time NRS champ, looking good for the threepeat. So go ahead, call me whatever homophobic slur you like. But to me, that means success, which is something you’ll never have.” I get up and leave Tool Derek on the floor. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” I say to Josh as I pick up my backpack and head towards the door.
I hear huffing and puffing a minute later.
“Geez, man, you could at least wait for me,” Josh says.
I slow my pace a bit. “Sorry, sometimes my temper gets the best of me.”
“It’s cool, I get it. Those guys were fuckheads, even when we were at school.”
“Still, I shouldn’t have gone off like I did.”
“Ah, yeah you should. The things they were saying were wrong, way wrong. I only wish….” He trails off.
“You only wish what?” I ask.
“It’s nothing.”
I stop and grab his arm. “It’s not nothing, so tell me what’s up.”
“I just….” He sighs. “I wish I could’ve stuck up for Aubrey that way, you know, be a man and all that shit,” he says.
“Being a man doesn’t always mean throwing your weight around,” I tell him.
“It does if you want people to listen to you,” he says glumly.
“People react to different things, it’s just a matter of finding out what.”
“Still, there’s no way those guys would’ve listened to me.”
“Maybe not,” I concede, “but that’s why I’m around.”
“Yeah.” Josh nods. “You’re a good friend.”
“A good friend who’s in need of another drink. Those guys totally destroyed the good mood I was working on.”
Josh nods and we head to the tavern down the road from campus. Don’t let the university’s good rep fool you; this is still the Gold Coast, Australia’s party capital.
A few hours and several beers later, it becomes apparent Josh can’t hold his liquor. I switched to water a little while ago, figuring it was smart if at least one of us were sober enough to guide the other home.
“Come on,” I say to Josh as I sling one of his arms around my shoulders while I wrap one of mine around his waist.
“You’re a good friend, Mav,” he says as he drunkenly pats my face.
“That’s what I’m here for,” I tell him. But even as the words come out of my mouth I know that’s not true. Just ask my previous best friend. I’d be
more than willing to bet Jax would quite happily dispute Josh’s claims about the quality of my friendship. I sigh. Pop can say what he likes about giving Jax time, but I know even if he does forgive me, I won’t deserve it. Truthfully, I’m a horrible friend and an even worse brother.
Somehow I manage to get Josh home. By the end of it I was practically dragging him, but we’re here, and that’s all that matters.
“Come on, Josh, work with me, bud. We’re home, we’ve just got to get you inside,” I tell him.
“I don’t feel so good,” he mumbles.
“I know, buddy, just hold on and we’ll get you inside and you can lie down and it’ll all be better.”
The front door’s locked, so I rifle through Josh’s bag to find his keys. After a few tries, I find the right one and open the door. My many attempts at the lock must have alerted Aubrey. She’s standing at the top of the stairs when the door swings open. Even after a few—or six—beers, my dick still recognises she’s the most beautiful woman we’ve ever seen, straining to get to her.
“Aubrey!” Josh says, with the kind of enthusiasm only someone who’s drunk can muster.
“Josh?” she asks, her husky voice doing nothing to help ease the situation in my pants. “Are you drunk?” she asks.
He nods. “Yep.”
“I suppose this is your doing,” she directs at me.
“Hey!” Josh says. “Leave Mav alone. He’s my friend. He also defended your honour tonight, so you should be thanking him.”
“Hmph” is all she says, and crosses her arms, which pushes her boobs up and almost out of the flimsy singlet she’s wearing. Without a bra, because clearly someone is punishing me.
“Come on, buddy,” I tell Josh, “let’s get you to bed.”