by Megan Lowe
“One,” I say, “how did you get from talking about my brother’s sex life to mine? And two, how do you know she’s lying on me?”
“Oh, Mav, so innocent.” She laughs.
“You didn’t answer my questions,” I remind her.
“You didn’t answer mine!”
I sigh. “I’m just trying to be better, that’s all.” I look at Aubrey. “Aubrey deserves to be with someone better than me. Someone whose brother doesn’t hate him, who treats his best friend the way they should be treated. Until I can be that guy, I don’t deserve to be with her, to be happy, don’t you get it?” Aubrey’s eyes soften and I wipe away the tear that escapes from one of them. I meant every word I said to Knley. It feels wrong to be so happy when I know Jax is still so hurt and angry about me leaving.
Knley blows out a breath. “This shit between you and Jax is fucked up.”
“He has every right to be angry, Kn.”
“No, he doesn’t!” she yells. “It’s been almost five months, it’s time this shit was put to bed.”
“I deserve what’s come to me.” Aubrey squeezes me tight and places light kisses on my chest.
“That’s bullshit, Mav, and you know it. So you broke away from the family. Sure, you did it in an overly dramatic way that I myself am impressed with, but it’s your life, not his. He has no right to still be angry with you, and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Fuck, you Ryans, drama queens the lot of you.” She pauses and sighs. “Look, you know what I think, and as much as I’d like to, I can’t force you and Jax to make up. But know this, Mav, there is nothing wrong with what you’re doing, with living your life the way you want to, okay?”
I huff.
“I’m going to take that as acceptance that I speak the truth. Now, I’ve got to pee for the fifty-seven thousandth time today, as your godkids are currently dancing on my bladder. And every time you think you’re not good enough, look at the girl you’ve got lying on top of you, think about who you think she should be with, and remember who she’s with right now.”
I run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, okay.”
“And give her a good pounding. The girl may be smart enough to stick with you for the moment, but fuck around much longer and even I’d recommend she go elsewhere.”
I laugh. “Thanks, Kn.”
“You’re welcome,” she says cheerfully.
I end the call and throw the phone on my bedside table.
“You know I’m like, the world’s biggest Places fan, right?” Aubrey asks.
I scratch at the stubble on my cheek. “Uh, yeah?” I say, even though I had no idea. I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to admit that though.
She rolls her eyes. I don’t think I was very convincing. “Well, I am. The biggest, and all this time you’re BFFs with Knley. That’s insane!”
“She’s just a person.”
“She’s McKnley fucking Rhodes/Matthews whatever she wants to go by these days. She’s the bad girl of rock ’n’ roll! Have you seen her on stage? She’s incredible! I’d totally turn for her, like, in a heartbeat.”
I lift an eyebrow while my dick twitches. “Yeah?”
She swats at my stomach. “You’re picturing it, aren’t you?” she says, her voice even huskier than usual, a salacious grin on her face.
I shake my head. “No.”
She laughs again and looks down at my now rather tight shorts. “You so are, but that’s okay. A girl likes to know her boyfriend wants her, even if he refuses to have her.”
I sigh. “You know it’s not that I don’t want you.”
“I know, you’re trying to be a gentleman, but sometimes that’s not what a girl wants.”
“It may not be what you want, but you deserve to be treated like the goddess you are,” I tell her, looking into her eyes.
She cups my face. “You really are entirely too sweet, you know that?”
“I’m trying,” I tell her.
“You don’t need to try, it’s just who you are.” She leans forward and kisses me.
“You know,” I say, when we break apart, “all this sweet talking still won’t get you in my pants.” She pouts and I laugh.
“Can we at least snuggle?” she asks.
I open my arms. “Sure.”
“Hang on,” she says, getting off the bed and unzipping her skirt. The extra sway she puts in her hips as she shimmies her skirt down doesn’t go unnoticed either.
“What are you doing?” I’m equal parts scared and excited.
“I’m changing. Do you have anything I can wear?” she asks over her shoulder as she takes her top off.
I race over to my drawers and pull out an old Ryan Racing shirt. “Here,” I say, thrusting it at her.
She laughs but thankfully slides the shirt over her head. But then, God help me, she pulls out her bra through the sleeve. I swallow and try to think thoughts that will help deflate the situation in my shorts.
“Come on,” she says, extending a hand to me. I blow out a breath, take her hand and pull her into my arms. “You’re an incredible guy, Mav. I wish you could believe that. But just as hard as you’re working to be the man you think I deserve, I’m going to be working to show you that you’re already there.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her I love her, but something holds me back. I release her, go over to the bed, fold back the blankets, and gesture for her to get in. As she walks past me she stretches to kiss me. She climbs in and is getting settled as I turn off the light. I hop in beside her and drag her onto my chest.
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” I say, and kiss the top of her head.
She nestles into me. “Night, Mav.”
With my girl in my arms, I quickly surrender to the most peaceful sleep I’ve had since I left Booker five months ago.
Chapter 17
Aubrey
Even though we didn’t get as far as I’d like, spending the night in Mav’s arms was incredible. He’s incredible, and I wish he’d get that. Hopefully the plan McKnley and I discussed yesterday will have some effect. Speaking of McKnley, I can’t believe I was talking to her! The way she’s portrayed in the tabloids isn’t nice at all, but I saw no glimpse of that last night. I suppose it sells more magazines, though.
Mav cooked breakfast this morning before taking me home. He walks me to the door and kisses me softly.
“Tell Josh I’ll see him in class tomorrow, okay?” I nod. “I’ll see you later?” he asks.
I smile. “You know it.” With a final kiss, he leaves.
I still have a smile on my face when I walk in the house.
“And just where do you think you’ve been?” a voice booms from the living room.
I go in and see my grandpa sitting in his chair with a face like thunder.
“You know where I was,” I tell him.
“With that crook,” he spits.
“Mav isn’t a crook,” I explain, “he’s a uni student, just like me and Josh.”
“You and your brother are not like him. You’re serious students who are going to go somewhere, be somebody, not like that nobody.”
“We’re all people, Grandpa.”
“But not all of us are covered in tattoos. Only criminals have them, you know,” he tells me.
I sigh. “You know that’s not true.”
“I do not. All those bikies are always in trouble for something, and the lot of them are covered head to toe in tattoos, just like that boy.”
I shake my head. I want to argue with him, but I know I’ll never convince him otherwise. I turn to leave.
“I don’t want you seeing him anymore,” Grandpa says to my back. “He’s a distraction, to you and your studies.”
I stop dead. “What happens if I don’t want to do that, if I think, no I know, he’s not?” I ask.
“Aubrey, a good girl like you shouldn’t be seen with a thug like him, people will talk.”
I sigh. I want to tell him that this isn’t the eighteen hundreds anymore and tha
t I couldn’t give a shit if people are talking about me or not, but it’ll be useless. “I’m not going to stop seeing him. He’s kind and sweet and gentle, and he treats me with dignity and respect.”
“You don’t know what respect is. I’ve seen the way girls your age act. They think a guy slapping them on the arse means they have his respect,” he says.
“Can’t you trust me enough, trust how I’ve been raised, some of which you’ve been responsible for, to know that I know how I deserve to be treated?”
Grandpa huffs.
I sit down on the couch closest to him and take his hand. “I know Mav’s appearance is intimidating, but he’s a good guy. If you could just take the time to get to know him…,” I plead.
“I won’t be associated with anyone who looks like he does.”
“Not even for me?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Aubrey, but I will not support your choice to be with him.”
“So what now?”
“I don’t know,” he says as he gets up and walks out of the room.
I sit there for a few more minutes before heading upstairs.
“Hey,” Josh says as I walk past.
“Hey,” I reply. I go into his room and plop down on his bed next to him.
“How was your date?” He doesn’t even look up from the screen, where he’s playing some kind of video game.
“The date was great.”
“Yeah? Reached the sleepover stage, I see,” he says.
“Not exactly.”
“Okay, well not wanting to go too much into detail about my twin sister’s sex life, I’m just gonna leave that there.”
“Thanks.”
“So if the date was great, what’s wrong?” he asks.
“How do you know there’s something wrong?”
He finally tears his eyes away from the screen to look at me. “We’re twins, we have that twintuition thing, remember?”
“Has that ever worked for you?” I ask.
“I dunno if it’s that or because I’ve known you my whole life and can read you better than anyone else.”
“Huh,” I say.
“What about you?”
“Yeah, not really. Maybe it only works for identical twins? You know, ’cause they have the same DNA and stuff,” I say.
“Maybe, but I still know something’s up.”
“Ugh,” I say, and blow out a breath. “Grandpa doesn’t want me to see Mav anymore.”
“What the fuck? Why?” he asks.
“He says that only criminals are covered in tattoos and a good girl like me shouldn’t be seen with someone like Mav, that people will talk.”
“Does he know it’s not the eighteen hundreds?”
I snort. “Apparently not.”
“So I take it you’re not going to stop seeing him?” Josh asks.
I shake my head. “No, I’m not.”
“So what now?”
“I asked Grandpa that, and he just said ‘I don’t know,’ and walked out of the room.”
Josh blows out a breath. “Do you think he’ll kick you out?”
“I don’t know,” I say, my throat thick with unshed tears. “I certainly hope not, but he’s dead set against Mav and me being together.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah,” I agree.
“So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, aside from keep seeing Mav. If we keep doing things how we’ve been doing them, I guess it’ll be okay?” I say, unsure.
Josh shrugs. “I don’t know either, but if I can help, let me know.”
I kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks, little brother.” He rolls his eyes, and I walk out of the room. I don’t know what I’m going to do about Grandpa, but I’m certain I won’t be giving up on the one guy who’s proving that there are decent guys out there.
Chapter 18
Mav
I’ve just gotten home from uni when there’s a knock on my door. I know it’s not Josh or Aubrey, as I’ve just come from theirs, so I’m stumped as to who it could be. I open the door to find an absolute tank of a man brandishing a clipboard.
“Mav Ryan?” he asks.
“Yeah?”
“Sign here, please,” he says, and thrusts the clipboard at me, pointing to an empty box.
“What’s this for?” I ask, quickly skimming the document.
“To say you received the delivery.”
“Delivery of what?”
“Of that.” He points behind him where my bike, my FMX bike, is strapped to the flatbed of a tow truck.
“Who sent this to me?” I ask, stunned at the sight of my old love, and confused as to who sent her to me.
The guy snatches the clipboard and shuffles through the pages. “A Briar Ryan,” he says eventually.
“You mean Bria?” I ask.
He shows me the paperwork with Bria’s name printed on the top. “That them?” I nod. “So if you could sign and then when we unload her, start ’er up to see she’s not damaged, that would be great.”
“How about you unload and then I’ll sign,” I say.
He mumbles under his breath but turns to begin unloading anyway. Once my bike is on the ground, I swing my leg over and run my hands over the handlebars, complete with flip levers and trick list from the Extreme Games.
“You do tricks and stuff on that?” the driver asks me.
“Used to,” I say.
“Looks like somebody wants you to take it up again.”
“Yeah.” I nod.
“So if you could start ’er up and sign my papers, I’ll be out of your hair.”
I start her up and stomp on the kick-start. She starts straightaway, and I get the familiar rush I used to when she came to life between my legs. I twist the throttle and the engine purrs, the sound music to my ears.
“Sweet.” The driver nods.
His words break the spell the bike had over me, and I turn her off. This isn’t my life anymore.
“So if you could sign here.” He thrusts the clipboard at me again, and I hastily scribble where he indicated. “Oh, and there’s this.” He unclips an envelope and hands it to me.
“Thanks,” I say, not taking my eyes off the untidy scrawl, so similar to mine, that marks the outside.
I don’t know how long I sit there, staring at the letter.
“It’s not going to bite,” a husky voice says. I look up and find Aubrey standing in front of me. As if I’d been burned, I hop off the bike. “You don’t have to do that,” she says.
“I don’t even know what it’s doing here,” I tell her.
“Knley and I, and Bria by extension, thought it was time you got back on the horse, so to speak.” I shake my head. Of course those two would be involved. “We also thought it was time you and Jax sorted your shit out. It’s gone on long enough.”
“You three…,” I say as she walks towards me. When she gets to me I wrap my arms around her.
“We don’t like seeing you like this, and if we left it up to the two of you, you’d never sort things out, so we took it upon ourselves.”
I hold the envelope up. “Do you know what it says in here?”
She pulls back to look at me. “Of course I don’t. Neither do Knley or Bria. Whatever’s in there is between you and Jax.”
I take a deep breath. “I’m scared to read it.”
She squeezes me tightly. “Don’t be. Underneath it all he’s still your brother, and he loves you.” I nod. “Take your time. You don’t have to read it right this second, but at least be encouraged by the fact he has written something.”
“I suppose.”
“No supposing about it. Now let’s go inside, order some food, and watch something mindless.” She starts walking away, and looks over her shoulder when I don’t follow.
“What’s up, cutie?” she says, as she walks back to me.
“I should be pissed at you three for interfering in shit that doesn’t concern you”—I hold a finger up
to indicate I’m not finished—“but, all I can think is that I’m one hell of a lucky bastard that you went to all this trouble.”
She stretches up and kisses my chin. “You’re worth it.” I shake my head. “Yes, you are. Don’t argue with me.” She raises an eyebrow, daring me to do just that. I chuckle and hug her tight.
“You guys didn’t have a suggestion on where I was going to store the bike, did you?” The building my unit is in is small, with only a few car parks.
“We figured you’d just park it outside.” She shrugs.
“That bike is worth almost a hundred grand. I’m not leaving it outside.”
“A hundred grand!” Aubrey screeches.
“Everything is custom-made,” I explain.
“But it’s just a bike.”
I clutch my chest. “This is the bike I rode when I won all my medals at the Extreme Games. She’s been with me through everything. We’ve seen a lot of hard times.” I pat the seat lovingly.
“If I were a different type of girl, I might be jealous,” she says, laughing.
I roll my eyes at her and begin wheeling the bike inside my apartment. Good thing the building’s only one level.
“Where are you taking it?” she asks.
“Inside.”
“Inside? Mav, you can’t keep your bike inside. It’s not a pet!” she says, her voice getting all high and squeaky.
“Well, you guys should’ve thought of that when you sent it to me. It’s worth a fuckload of money, and I’m not going to leave it unsecured outside where anyone can see it and stroll off with it,” I tell her.
“What if it drops oil or something?” she asks, as she follows me and the bike inside.
“I’m pretty sure the carpet in here hasn’t been replaced since it was laid. If and that’s a big if, seeing she’s in the shape of her life, she drops oil, I’ll replace the carpet. The landlord will love it and can up the rent when I move out.”
She huffs as I park the bike in a corner of my small living room.
“Don’t give me that,” I say with a smile on my face. “You, Bria, and Knley thrust this on me with no thought as to what I’d do with it, so I’m dealing with it the best way I can right now.”