by Megan Lowe
“We thought you’d ride it, not bring it inside like a new puppy.”
“I can’t ride 24/7. Eventually I’d get sore or run out of petrol or, you know, have to eat, sleep, drink, go to class, you know, crazy everyday stuff.”
“We were just trying to help.” She pouts, and I melt. Don’t tell her this or God knows she’ll use it all the time, but I can’t stand when she pouts; it breaks my heart. I grab her by the hips and bring her to me.
“I know, and I love you guys for it, but it’s not exactly practical.”
“Well, clearly we had other ideas in mind when we came up with this plan,” she says. I laugh and kiss her forehead. “You know this wouldn’t have been a problem if you and Jax had made up on your own.”
“So really this is my fault?” I lead her over to the couch and take a seat. She sits on the opposite end to me, which I hate, but then throws her feet in my lap, which I’m not crazy about either, but at least this way I’m still touching her.
“Yep, you’ve got no one else to blame but yourself.”
We end up ordering Thai and watching reruns of The West Wing, one of her favourite shows. A few hours into our binge, she falls asleep with her head on my shoulder. Carefully, so as not to disturb her, I move her so she’s lying down and grab the letter from Jax. I slide down the wall that separates inside from out, and open the envelope.
Dear Fuckhead,
I’m only writing this because sis threatened not to book me any more promos with grid girls and Knley said she’d spread the rumour I have syphilis.
I can picture them doing exactly that, and laugh.
I’m not going to tell you I understand why you left the way you did. I think you know how much of a dick move that was, but I am going to say that I understand the reason you left to begin with. I guess sometimes I forget that you’re not like me, which is a shame, ’cause everyone should be. Just think how awesome the world would be if it was? But I’m getting off track. You’ve always been the quiet one, the mysterious one, the thinker. I think we always knew that deep down you weren’t like us. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing. You were always the one who was going to make something of himself, be more than a grease monkey. The rest of us are fairly simple guys. We like bikes, we like women, or men in Liam’s case, we like beer and parties. You, you’re complex. I think you like that stuff to a point, but you want more. I’ve been talking to Quinn a lot, and also not talking if you know what I mean, and she’s helped me see where you’re coming from. But fuck, Mav, this all should’ve been coming from you!
I was wondering when he’d get to this.
I thought we were best friends? I thought we told each other everything? I mean, come on, man, I even told you about that time with Tiffany Roberts when she had me so worked up I came in my pants. So it hurt a lot to realise you didn’t do the same with me. By the way, Knley told me about your girl and though I may not be an IT whizz like you, I did do some Facebook stalking. Well done brother, A+.
I roll my eyes.
But did you think I’d try and stop you? Talk you out of it? ’Cause you should know me by now, know that I’d never do that. I’m stoked you’re up there, living your life, doing something you love. The rest of us are, why shouldn’t you be doing the same? You’re a great rider, Mav, ‘five-time Extreme Games gold medal’ great in case you’d forgotten. But if that’s not what you want, then don’t do it. Leave it to me. Trust me, I’m more than good enough to pick up the slack.
I laugh out loud.
But it would’ve been nice if you could’ve told me what was up with you. It feels like everyone is going in their own direction. Reed is with Bria, Liam with Mase, you up there, and it just leaves Park (zzzzz) and me being my usual wonderful self. You guys are all I’ve got and while I’m happy for you, it still feels like I’m being left behind.
Tears sting my eyes and I rub them away.
But don’t worry about me. I’m like a cat, I always land on my feet. That is how I won seven Extreme Games gold medals, it’s okay to be jealous.
Through my tears, I laugh again.
I love you, Mav, you’re my brother and there is nothing you could do to prevent that. Except maybe if you destroyed my Emma Watson collection. Or listened to Justin Bieber. Or destroyed my Emma Watson collection while listening to Justin Bieber. That would just be plain evil, man, why would you even think about doing that? Not cool, bro. But seriously, do what you gotta do and I promise if you call again I won’t hang up on you. Seriously, I’ll just keep that fucker going, it’ll be all Jax, all the time, nothing will be off-limits. I love you, bro.
Take care and talk soon, your most awesomest and definitely most handsome brother, Jax Andrew Ryan.
I tip my head back and look at the ceiling. While Jax’s words have helped soothe a part of me that I tore apart when I left, it’s also opened up wounds I didn’t even know I had.
Chapter 19
Aubrey
I thought that after getting his bike back and reading Jax’s letter Mav would be okay. Better than okay, actually, but it’s almost like the opposite has happened. It kind of pisses me off, to be honest. I’m at my wits’ end and I don’t know what to do about it. We’ve just gotten back from a date, and things are getting hot and heavy on the couch. I know he’s trying to be respectful and all that wonderful stuff, and I appreciate it, I really do, but the time for that has passed. If I don’t get laid and soon, I’m going to explode. There’s only so much a girl can do on her own. Never mind the fact she has a hot-as-sin boyfriend who, as far as I can tell, is perfectly capable of catering to her sexual wants and needs.
I’ve just started unbuttoning my top when he stops me.
“What are you doing?” he asks breathlessly.
“What do you think I’m doing?” I really want to say “what you won’t,” but I don’t see insulting him as working for me here.
“Aubrey,” he sighs, taking my hands and setting them in my lap. I can’t hear his “I have to show you I respect you and be the guy you deserve” speech one more time. If I do, I’ll scream.
“Do you love me?” I ask before he can begin. He stops, and after a beat, nods. “Then show me. I’m right here, Mav.” When he doesn’t say or do anything, I keep going. “You know, just because you broke away from your family doesn’t mean you’re alone.” Still he sits there, and my heart breaks. “But clearly that’s what you want, so I’ll go. If you decide that’s not what you want, you know where to find me.” I gather my things and head for the door. Just as I get there, a tattooed hand slaps the door closed, while another wraps around my waist.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks, his lips brushing my ear.
“Home. You seem to prefer to be alone, and you can’t do that with me here.” I try not to let my voice display my emotions.
“Did I say I wanted to be alone?”
“You didn’t say anything,” I remind him.
“I told you I love you.”
“Technically, I asked and you nodded.” His chest vibrates with his laugh. He spins me so my back is now against the door and I’m facing him.
“I love you, Aubrey James, although God knows I shouldn’t.”
I hold a finger against his lips. “Don’t ruin it.”
He smiles and kisses my finger. Reluctantly I take it away, but he doesn’t say anything else.
“Well?” he asks after a while.
“Well what?” I tease.
“I just told you I love you.”
“I know, I heard.”
“Aren’t you supposed to say something back?” He looks so unsure of himself, but yet still confident enough to ask the question in the first place.
“Is that what you want? Me to say I love you because you did?” I ask.
“Right now I’d take a thank you.”
I throw my head back and laugh; he doesn’t seem amused though. “You’re adorable, Maverick Ryan,” I tell him.
“But am I lovable?” he asks bashfully.
I cup his face. “You most certainly are.” I kiss his nose.
“So does that mean you love me too?” he asks, hope shining in his eyes.
“No.” The light in his eyes dims a little. “It means I love you outright, not just because you said it to me.”
His whole face lights up, and let me tell you, Mav when he’s his usual brooding self is hot in that smouldering bad boy way, but when he smiles? It’s like the sun, the moon, the stars all shine because of him. “Yeah?”
I nod. “I love you, Maverick Ryan, in spite of all your stupid-arse reasons why I shouldn’t and your insistence I deserve better.”
He laughs, picks me up, and twirls me around. “Woohoo!” he yells.
I laugh with him, but eventually tell him to put me down as I’m getting dizzy. With all the spinning, I hadn’t realised we’d moved to the bedroom. He sets me on my feet and looks into my eyes; his feelings as clear as day.
“I don’t know how I got so lucky, or why in the world you’re wasting your time with me, but I thank my lucky stars”—he kisses the tips of his thumb and index finger and points to the sky—“that you are.”
“I’m not going to tell you again to get over your bullshit, Mav, because that’s what it is. I know moving up here away from your family was hard and you feel guilty about that and the way you left, but that’s over and done with. Jax has forgiven you, now it’s time to forgive yourself.” He nods. “It’s time to live your life and revel in it. You’re living on the Gold Coast, five minutes from the beach. You’re kicking arse at uni, and to top it all off, you have the world’s best girlfriend offering herself to you on a silver platter. Why on earth aren’t you shouting that from the rooftops? It’s time to stop punishing yourself and be happy. Is that something you want?” Hesitantly, he nods. “So go get your happy, you deserve it.”
“It’s just—” I put my finger to his lips.
“I know, you feel guilty and blah, blah, blah, but Mav, everyone is over it, they’ve forgiven you. The only person who hasn’t forgiven you is you. I know leaving Booker to follow your dream was such a radical move for you. I also know you feel like you had no right to do that, but everyone is telling you that you were right. Where we are right here, right now, is where you’re supposed to be. Why are you fighting it?” He drops his head. “You have so many people who love you, Mav. We all want you to be happy, but we can’t force you to do that. It’s only you who’s standing in the way because of some fucked up guilt trip/self-punishment thing you’ve got going on.” He looks up when I swear, and I see a hint of a smile cross his lips. “So what’s it gonna be, cutie? You going to leave your hot and extremely horny girlfriend to her own devices while you wallow, or are you going to be a man and take what I’m offering you?”
“You really want the whole Coast to know you’re offering yourself on a silver platter?” he asks, arching an eyebrow. Of course that’s what caveman Mav would focus on.
I shove him playfully. “You know what I mean.”
He laughs and moves so that our fronts are touching with not even room to slide a piece of paper between us. “I do.” He lowers his head and captures my lips. The kiss is full of passion and possession, his tongue sweeping inside my mouth and owning it. I press tighter to him and lift my leg to hook it over his hip. He bends and picks me up; I wind my legs around him. He’s walking, and it’s not long before he’s kneeling on the bed and lowering us to it, our mouths still fused together. He grinds against me and I moan, thrusting my chest against his. My shorts are quickly removed; so are my panties. Somewhat disappointingly, I’ve only managed to unbutton Mav’s shorts. We break apart, both our chests heaving from exertion and reduced oxygen. There’s a wicked gleam in his eye, but before I can fully process it, he’s heading down my body and settling between my legs.
“I’ve dreamed of this,” he says, looking up at me.
“If you hadn’t been such a stubborn arse, you could’ve had it way before now,” I say, raising an eyebrow at him. He chuckles before lowering his head.
I’m dripping wet and in desperate need of some relief. He licks up my slit, and I throw my head back, my legs falling open further.
“So sweet,” he murmurs, before diving back in. I’ve never had anyone go down on me before, but if this is what it’s like, I may never let him up. He alternates between sucking my clit and lapping up my juices, before sliding in a finger.
“So tight, sweetheart. Let’s work on loosening you up a bit.” He adds a second finger then hooks them, hitting a spot I didn’t even know was there, although I have heard about its mythical properties. Within seconds I’m clenching around him hard and calling out his name.
“Good girl,” he coos as I come down, quickly getting rid of his clothing before moving to take off my shirt and bra.
“These are a thing of beauty,” he says, looking at my boobs. I always thought there were a bit bothersome. They’re double D’s on a size twelve body, but the way he looks at me makes me think I could have three nipples, two belly buttons, and an extra toe and he’d still love me.
“Mav,” I breathe.
“Right here, sweetheart.”
I hold out a hand to him and he takes it, once again settling between my legs. Somewhere along the line he must have grabbed a condom and slipped it on. He kisses me, running his dick up and down my slit, coating it in my juices.
“Mav,” I plead, after minutes of pure torture. He chuckles but positions himself at my entrance. We both groan when he begins to slide in.
“Oh fuck,” he curses when he’s in all the way. “You’re so fucking tight, Aubrey.”
“You feel so good,” I breathe, my body slowly adjusting to him. It’s been a while for me, and I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say he’s well above average.
“I gotta move, sweetheart,” he grits out, sweat beading on his forehead.
I nod, and he begins to move in and out of me. “Harder,” I tell him. “I won’t break.” He begins to pound into me, the bed crashing into the wall, but all I care about is the man above me and the feelings he’s causing to build up inside me. It’s not long before those feelings explode, causing me to see stars. Vaguely I hear him shout and feel him jerk inside me, but I’m lost to the sensations. Slowly I come down and become aware of my surroundings. Mav has collapsed on top of me, doing his best not to crush me, our bodies slick with sweat, breathing heavy.
“Holy shit,” I breathe.
“Mmm,” Mav says into my shoulder.
“You alive?” I run my hand through his hair.
“No, I died and went to heaven.”
I laugh. Eventually he gathers enough strength to roll off me and dispose of the condom. He joins me in bed, pulling me to his side, his hand running up and down my back.
“Thank you,” he says eventually.
“For what?” I ask, confused.
“For sticking with me, for getting me to see reason and not feel so guilty about being here and doing what I’m doing.”
“Mav,” I start.
“I still feel guilty, but knowing I have your love and support, it doesn’t feel as bad.”
“Well if that’s what it takes,” I say, and throw a leg over his. “You’re a great guy, Mav, and you have nothing to feel guilty about. If me sleeping with you eases that guilt, then that’s what I’m going to have to do.”
“Is that right?” he asks, arching an eyebrow.
“Yep. It’ll be hard, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.”
“Oh it’ll be hard all right,” he says, rolling me on my back and hovering over me.
“I love you, Mav Ryan.”
“And I love you.”
He grabs a condom and rolls it on, and for the rest of the night I work on easing his guilt. What can I say? I’m a selfless being.
Chapter 20
Mav
I never realised how much I needed to hear that Aubrey loved me until she said it. When she went to walk out last nig
ht, I freaked out. It wasn’t until that moment I realised I didn’t want to be alone, that being alone wouldn’t solve my problems, but rather, it was what started them in the first place. Jax was right. I should’ve told him what I was going through. It was stupid of me to ever think my family wouldn’t support me, especially when they’d never given any indication that would be the case.
Next to me, Aubrey is sleeping peacefully. When I look at her, I feel my heart swell. I never knew love could be like this. She’s incredible, and everything I would’ve asked for in a woman if I knew what it was that I wanted. She’s so incredibly patient and kind, with a heart of gold and body made for sinning.
Speaking of which, she shifts slightly in her sleep and her round arse brushes up against me, causing my dick, which is hard as fuck—again—to twitch. She moans, and I wonder if she’s dreaming of me. I lean over and start to kiss her neck, my hand massaging one of the most gorgeous tits I’ve ever seen.
“Mav,” she moans.
“I’m right here, sweetheart,” I say in her ear. I feel her jerk awake.
“Mav?” she asks, her sleep-laden voice even huskier than normal.
“Morning, sweetheart.” I kiss her quickly, still playing with her nipple. She reaches back and grabs hold of my dick.
“Seriously? How can you still be hard after last night?”
“Are you sore?” I ask, concerned. The last thing I want is her in pain.
She shakes her head. “A bit but seriously, didn’t you get enough last night?”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get enough,” I tell her as I kiss and suck at her neck.
“You’re crazy,” she says with a smile on her face.
“Crazy about you.” I know she’s rolling her eyes. “Tell me to stop if you don’t want to.” She moves my hand from her breast to between her legs, where she’s practically dripping.
“Does that feel like I want you to stop?”
I grab a condom and roll it on. Within seconds I’m sliding into her, and fuck if she doesn’t feel fantastic. I thought there was no way we could top last night, but if possible, I think this might be better.