Breaking Away (Rocking Racers Book 3)

by Megan Lowe

  I nod. “I promise, Grandpa.”

  “Good.” He looks to Connor. “So are we going to do this?”

  Connor laughs. “You’ve got balls, old man. Too bad your grandson missed out on them, but I understand genetics can sometimes be hit or miss.”

  Grandpa nods like he’s disappointed in me. I hang my head. I am a disappointment. “My granddaughter got them instead.” I lift my head at his words, the defiant glint still in his eyes. “Never did follow the path I wanted her to, always insisted on doing things her way,” he says.

  Connor nods. “She sure is a spitfire.”

  “That she is. I also know she’ll continue to do everything I don’t want her to, which includes seeing that bikie scum. I’m not wild about that, I tried to raise her right, but seeing as though he seems to be the only one who’s able to take you on, maybe that’s a good thing. He might be the only one capable of getting rid of you.”

  Connor laughs. “I like you, old man. Too bad we had to meet under these circumstances.”

  Grandpa shrugs. “It is what it is.”

  Connor nods. “Any last words?”

  Grandpa looks at me. “You get the help you need, okay? No more of this gambling rubbish. It’s time you grew up.” I nod. “And tell your sister….” He sighs and shakes his head. “Tell her not to let that fire die out, that maybe I was wrong and it has its uses.”

  I nod again, tears running down my cheeks in rivers. “I’m so sorry, Grandpa.”

  “I know.”

  “I—I love you,” I choke out. “Aubrey does too.”

  He nods then looks up at Connor. “Do your worst.”

  Connor holds his hand out, and one of his goons hands him a knife. “I really am sorry things worked out this way,” he tells Grandpa.

  “Just get it over with,” Grandpa spits. He turns his head so he’s looking at me.

  I’m sobbing, straining against my binds. “I’m sorry, please don’t do this! Grandpa!” I yell.

  Connor draws his arm back and plunges the knife into Grandpa’s chest. His eyes go wide before he collapses against Connor. He withdraws the knife, wet with Grandpa’s blood, and shoves him off him. He comes over to me and gets right up in my face. “Maybe next time you’ll remember, so this doesn’t happen again.”

  I’m untied, and collapse to the floor as Connor and his goons leave. I crawl over to Grandpa and cradle his head. “I’m sorry,” I keep repeating, over and over again.

  Chapter 35

  Mav

  I hold Aubrey’s hand the entire flight back to the Coast. She’s barely said a word since Josh’s phone call. I know her grandpa wasn’t her biggest fan, but besides Josh, he was the only family she had left. And now he’s gone. I keep trying to say words to comfort her, to tell her it’s all going to be okay, but I know that’s all they’d be. Words. I hate feeling so helpless and seeing Aubrey so down.

  I wish we had been more forceful with Josh and made sure he got help. But maybe there’s a chance to do that now.

  This year has been a year of discovery for me and nothing has been better than discovering Aubrey James and the love I have for her. Right now things aren’t so great, but it’s time for me to return the favour she did for me. She took me at my worst and made everything better. Better than better. She made me complete. I’m not full enough of myself to think I can complete her family, but I think, or at least I hope, I can make things a bit easier to get through. Anything she needs me to do I’ll do. She’s my home and I’m going to make sure she knows that I’m hers too.

  Chapter 36

  Aubrey

  Somehow Mav and I made the last flight out of Melbourne bound for the Coast. To be honest, I have no idea what happened after Josh said Connor’s name. All I keep hearing is “he’s dead” and “Connor.”

  When we get to my house, it’s cordoned off with police everywhere.

  “Josh!” I scream as I jump out of the taxi. I’m not even sure if it had stopped completely, and I guess I don’t care. “Josh!” I scream again, and go to duck under the police tape, but I’m stopped by an officer.

  “I’m sorry, miss, it’s a crime scene. You can’t go in there.”

  “That’s my house,” I tell him. “My brother and grandpa are in there.” I feel Mav come up behind me and draw me back to his chest.

  “I’m very sorry,” the officer says, “but you can’t go in there. We need to preserve it for evidence.” I hear Mav talking, but the word “evidence” keeps swirling in my head. It joins up with the ones still there, all adding up to the fact my crazy ex-boyfriend killed my grandpa because my twin brother’s a gambling addict. I shake my head. How is this my life? Just hours ago I was laughing and joking with two members of my favourite band. Now, I’m standing outside my house being told I can’t go in because it’s a crime scene and my brother…. Where the fuck is my brother? “Where’s Josh?” I ask in a detached voice, interrupting the conversation Mav and the officer are having.

  “I just asked that,” Mav explains. “They took him to Southport Police Station for questioning.”

  “Is he under arrest?” I ask.

  “Not yet. We’re still determining exactly what happened here,” the officer replies. I nod. “Did your brother say anything to you about what happened tonight when he called?”

  “He said Connor happened.”

  “Connor?” the officer asks.

  “Connor York, my ex-boyfriend,” I reply.

  “Have you been having issues with him?”

  “Not really,” I say. “Josh did, though. Connor’s his bookie.” Once again I hear Mav’s voice and I know, even though I can’t concentrate on what’s being said, that he’s explaining everything that’s gone down in the past few months. Suddenly the scale of the situation hits me, and my legs give out. Thankfully Mav has great reflexes and catches me before I hit the ground. He picks me up in his arms and I snuggle into his neck, his manly scent calming me.

  “If it’s okay, I’m going to take her home,” he says, his chest vibrating against me.

  The officer agrees, I think, or Mav tells him that’s what’s happening anyway, and we get into the back of a police car.

  “Are we under arrest?” I ask Mav as he buckles me in.

  He kisses my forehead. “No, sweetheart, they’re just giving us a lift home.” He goes and grabs our bags, which he’d dumped near the letterbox, and slides in beside me.

  “I’ve never been in a police car,” I say quietly. Mav stays silent. I turn and look at him.

  “Jax is a bad influence,” he tells me.

  I manage a weak smile before dissolving into tears. Mav holds me close and murmurs soothing words in my ear, his hand rubbing my shoulder, but it can’t fix the fact my life has turned into chaos. It’s a mess. We pull up at Mav’s apartment building and he hands his keys and our bags to one of the officers while he unbuckles me and carries me into his apartment and his bedroom. He lays me down on the bed gently, and I immediately curl into a ball. I hear voices from the living room and figure Mav’s talking to the officer who drove us home. Home. Such a simple word but such a confusing concept. Where is my home? Who is my home with? Josh, with his gambling problems that got our grandfather killed? Or Mav, who will take me anywhere I want to go, away from everything we know, if I want? Right now it’s a tempting prospect; just pack up and leave everything and everyone behind, especially Josh. My blood boils when I think about him, about the trouble he brought to our family. It wasn’t enough for him to let Mav pay off his debts. Now it’s Grandpa who paid the ultimate price for him? I want to destroy him, rip every limb from his body and beat him senseless with them. I want him to understand just how much damage he’s caused. I want him to get help. I want him to have gotten help back when he first said he would, so that none of this would be a problem.

  A sob escapes me, and I stuff my fist into my mouth in order to stop it. Behind me the bed dips; an arm comes around my waist and pulls me against Mav’s hard chest. I roll over
and bury my head in the space between his neck and shoulder. He holds me as I cry so many tears that I wonder if I’m not dehydrating myself, but he never stops comforting me. With the sky lightening Mav breaks the silence that surrounded us about the time my tears finally dried up. “I suppose asking if you’re okay is a stupid question,” he says.

  “It is, but I know what you’re saying,” I croak.

  “Do you want anything?”

  I shake my head. “Just hold me.”

  He winds both arms around me and crushes me to him.

  “What now?” I ask after a while.

  He blows out a breath. “I don’t know.”

  “What about Josh?” I ask.

  “The cop last night said they’d probably release him this morning.”

  “Is he under arrest? I can’t remember if I asked that last night.”

  “They took him in for questioning. They said he might be facing some charges for illegal gambling, but nothing for, um, you know, what happened last night,” he explains.

  “You mean my grandpa’s murder,” I say, my voice surprisingly strong.

  “Yeah.”

  “Well that’s something, right?” I ask.

  Mav nods. “They said he’ll probably have to do some community service and attend Gamblers Anonymous, which isn’t the worst thing in the world, but he shouldn’t have a criminal record or anything.”

  “Do you think maybe he should?”

  “Should what? Have a criminal record?”

  “Yeah.” I nod.

  Mav shrugs. “I dunno. I think maybe he’s suffered enough.”

  I sit up and stare at him. “Has he, though? I mean, he’s the cause of all of this. None of this would’ve happened if it weren’t for him,” I say, my anger rising once more.

  “I know, sweetheart,” he says, trying to soothe me. “And that’s something Josh is going to have to live with every day for the rest of his life. Isn’t that punishment enough?” He pulls me back to his chest.

  “It just feels like he’s getting off lightly,” I say.

  “I don’t know,” Mav says. “Every day he’s got to live with knowing that if not for his stupidity, your grandpa would still be alive. He’s going to be haunted by the knowledge and replay every moment leading up to then saying ‘if only.’ Those ‘if onlys’ can destroy someone. I’m not saying Josh shouldn’t own up to his part in all this, or not get help, but I think any punishment dished out to him will pale in comparison to the torture he’s putting himself through right now.”

  Chapter 37

  Josh

  The look in Grandpa’s eyes when Connor plunged the knife into his chest greets me every time I close my eyes. I’m certain I’ll see that look every day for the rest of my life. It’s nothing less than I deserve anyway; it’s all my fault. The police questioned me for hours, asking me all sorts of things about Connor and my involvement, but I don’t think I was much help. I suppose in a way that’s a good thing, and I won’t be wrongly charged with being a part of his whole evil network. No, I’m sure it’s quite clear I’m an idiot with a gambling problem that got out of hand and resulted in my grandpa’s death.

  No, not death, murder. I caused my grandpa’s murder. I murdered my grandpa. In the end, they issued me with a notice to appear on illegal gambling charges. They said with an early plea I’d get community service and be ordered to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings. I tell them that I don’t need to be ordered to go, that I’ll be going as soon as I get out of here, but they tell me the court will want to make sure I go. When I’m released, Mav and Aubrey are waiting for me. They both look terrible, and I know that’s also because of me. Mav steps forward and gives me a hug, asking how I am and telling me he’s sorry. I nod and step back. The expression on Aubrey’s face is hard to read. Her arms are crossed, mouth tight, and her eyes are red rimmed and bloodshot.

  “Aubrey,” I croak. She doesn’t say anything, just turns and heads for Mav’s car.

  “She’s, um, still quite upset,” Mav says. I nod. “She’ll get there. She just needs a bit of time.”

  “Yeah, right,” I say.

  “Come on.”

  We walk to the car. Aubrey is already in the front seat, and refuses to look at me once I get in. “Your house is, um, blocked off,” Mav says to me, “so I hope you don’t mind sleeping on my couch.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” I tell him.

  “Where else are you gonna go?” he asks.

  I shrug. “I’ll find somewhere. A shelter, a hostel maybe?”

  “Don’t be stupid.”

  Aubrey huffs.

  “I just don’t want to cause any problems. Any more problems,” I say, and motion to Aubrey.

  Mav grabs her hand. “You’re still family, and you need somewhere to stay. It’ll be fine.”

  I want to tell him he’s wrong, that things will never be fine again, but instead I just nod like the coward I am. We get back to the apartment and Aubrey heads straight to the bedroom.

  “Do you want anything to eat?” Mav asks. “Drink?” I shake my head. Even though I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday, my appetite seems to have disappeared. He slaps my shoulder. “I’ll get you some clothes so you can shower if you want.”

  “You don’t have to do this,” I tell him.

  “No, I do,” he says with a finality I don’t want to argue with. “You and Aubrey have got enough to deal with at the moment.”

  “I feel like I’m getting off lightly,” I admit.

  Mav sighs and gestures to the couch. We both sit. “In terms of formal punishment, yeah, you probably are. Some community service and Gamblers Anonymous meetings I hope you want to go to anyway aren’t even a slap on the wrist for what you’ve caused.” I wince at the honesty in his words. “But legally that’s all you’re responsible for.”

  “We both know I’m responsible for a whole lot more than that.”

  A wry smile crosses his face. “I’m glad you realise that.”

  “It’d be hard to do anything but admit that.” Mav just nods. “Wait, you thought that’s what I’d do?”

  “It crossed my mind.”

  “I may be a gambler, but I’m not deluded,” I tell him.

  “Don’t you have to be a little deluded to get into the hole you dug for yourself?”

  I stop to consider his words. “Yeah, maybe.”

  We’re silent for a while before I speak again. “I keep seeing the look on his face when Connor stabbed him,” I say quietly. “Every time I close my eyes, it’s all I see.”

  “It probably will be for a long time.”

  “How am I supposed to live with that?” I ask him.

  “Help is always available if you want it. Go to your GP and see if they can refer you to a counsellor or something. No doubt it will help with your gambling, too.”

  I nod. “It still feels too easy though.”

  He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “What are you going to do? Punish yourself for the rest of your life? Curl up in a ball and fall apart because you made a colossal mistake? Sure, it was one hell of a fuck-up, but that’s it, you’re done? You’re just going to go through life not participating, just existing? You going to force your sister to do everything? To keep going and look after you while she’s at it?”

  “The last thing Aubrey wants is to look after me.”

  “And she shouldn’t have to. You’re eighteen years old, Josh. An adult. Old enough to make your own decisions and choices and to live with the consequences.”

  “You’re right.” I nod.

  “The only way you can begin to heal the hurt is by accepting the consequences of your actions and getting the help you need.”

  “Grandpa told me that too,” I say quietly, “before he—before he, well, you know. He told me to get the help I need and to grow up.”

  Mav nods. “Sounds like some good advice.”

  “He also”—I smile at the memory, the action feeling foreign—“told Connor that
while I didn’t get his balls, Aubrey did.”

  A small smile crosses Mav’s face. “That she did.”

  “He said to tell her to never let her fire go out, that he was wrong and it had its uses.”

  “What else did he say?” a quiet voice says from the doorway of the bedroom. I look up and see Aubrey gripping the frame so hard her knuckles are white.

  “That he knew you’d keep doing everything he disagreed with.” A look of hurt crosses her face, and I continue before she jumps to conclusions. “And that that’s a good thing, especially when it comes to Mav.”

  Mav goes over to her and leads her to the couch. He sits down and settles her on his lap.

  “Why would he say that?” she asks, confused.

  “He said Mav seems to be the only person who took Connor on and escaped unscathed. He was hopeful Mav could get rid of Connor for good.” She nods as Mav rubs his hands up and down her arms. “I told him you loved him,” I tell her, tears pooling in my eyes. She nods again. “I’m so sorry, Aubrey. I thought I could handle Connor. I never thought he’d do this. If I’d ever thought he’d be capable of doing something like this, I never would’ve gotten involved with him.” She nods and brushes away her own tears.

  “Looks like we’ve both been fooled by Connor York,” she says through her tears.

  I nod sadly. “I never should have gotten involved with him in the first place.”

  “Just promise you won’t go back to him.”

  I look at her with horror on my face. “How could you think I’d ever go back?”

  She shrugs. “You have a serious gambling problem. I know it won’t be an easy addiction to break, but please, get the help you need.”

  “I will,” I tell her, and I mean it.

  “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me,” I tell her. “After everything that’s happened, I can’t take your thanks.”

  She nods. “Then know you have my support then.”