Counting Sunsets

by Paul Gait

  ‘I’m not!’ James said aggressively. ‘I’m not. I can give it up anytime I want.’

  ‘Only. I can’t talk to my Mother about her problem. It might help if I could understand.’

  ‘Understand! What’s to understand? Drink is what gets me through the day. Anyway, what’s it to you?’

  ‘I want to help her to quit.’

  ‘So you think by psychoanalysing me, you’ll find out the reason why she drinks? Dream on kid!’

  Did you want this bottle opening?’ retorted Ben.

  ‘Come on. If you can’t bloody well open it, give it me back.

  James slid along the bench towards Ben, the smell of his unwashed body causing Ben to subconsciously hold his nose. Ben stood and held the bottle away from James’s reach.

  ‘Don’t prat around,’ James said, standing, attempting to grab the bottle.

  ‘Tell me and I’ll give it you,’ Ben persisted, moving further away.

  ‘Because I can’t face life if I’m sober. Is that what you wanted to hear? Now open that effing bottle.’

  ‘Why can’t you? Ben said, puzzled. How does it help?’

  ‘Booze helps to ease the pain,’ James said, sitting down, putting his head in his hands.

  ‘Pain! What do you mean? Have you got something wrong with you?’

  ‘No. Somebody I loved, died…’

  ‘I’m sorry. Was that your Mother?’

  ‘No. Somebody else. Somebody really special. It hurt so much when he went. It was as if my heart had been ripped out,’ James said, becoming tearful. ‘I just wanted to join him. But, I couldn’t do it.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked… I’d probably be the same if anything happened to my Mother.’

  ‘In that case, why are you causing her more angst by running away?’ James said, gaining his composure.

  ‘I did something stupid,’ Ben said, sitting back on the bench.

  ‘So! We all do stupid things from time to time. It’s not a big deal. Bottle please,’ said James gesturing to be given it.

  Ben ignored the request. ‘I upset Andy.’

  ‘So what’s the big deal? He’s nobody special. He’s only a Nurse, after all.’

  ‘He’s been good to me, because of my Mum’s problem. He helped sort things out, after I was slung out of my house in the middle of the night.’

  ‘And you still love someone who would do that to you?’

  ‘It wasn’t my mother that threw me out. It was one of her boyfriends.’

  ‘Why the hell would she let her boyfriend throw you out?’

  ‘She was drunk, as usual. She didn’t know anything about it, until the morning.’

  ‘So why did he do it?’

  ‘Mother came back with him from the night club, and as he came into our hall, he ripped his trousers on my bike. He pulled me out of bed. Told me to get my clothes on, and threw me out of the house.’

  ‘In the middle of the night! Shit! Where was your mother when all this was going on?’

  ‘She was, out of it, as usual.’

  ‘Where did you go?’

  ‘I wandered the streets all night…got into trouble at school the next day. But Andy sorted things with them. That was when he gave me a key for the Scout hut, so if it happened again, I’d have somewhere to go. You know, sleep in the hut.

  ‘Perhaps I misjudged him then. Sounds like a good bloke?’

  ‘Unfortunately, one night the hut caught fire, while I was in it.’

  ‘Oh dear! You obviously got out OK. Was it your fault?

  ‘No. I swear,’ Ben said firmly.

  ‘Is that why you ran away?’

  ‘No. It was because I let Andy down by doing something… stupid, after he had already told us not to do it.’

  ‘What did you do? Rob a bank?’

  ‘Don’t be stupid!’ Ben said, annoyed at being belittled.

  ‘Sorry kid.’

  ‘We do stunts on our bikes; one of them is riding fast up behind somebody on the pavement and ‘blitzing’ them. You know, making them jump because you ‘cut them up’.’

  ‘Sounds like a pretty stupid game to me.’

  ‘Well, this one old guy ‘wobbled’ as I got level with him and walked straight in front of me. I couldn’t avoid him. I knocked him for six.’

  ‘Was he badly hurt?’

  ‘No. He was an old guy, you know, grey hair and stuff. Well, I didn’t stop to see. But the police tracked me down. They even had a chopper up looking for me. Well, when they got hold of me. I got a bollocking from them and…’

  ‘Oops. What did this Andy bloke say?’

  ‘I don’t know. I didn’t see him. I guess he would be angry, as he had already given us this lecture about riding on the pavement…and well, we ignored him. It was this bloke’s own fault, he got in my way.’

  ‘But he was, on the pavement?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘So, Who was in the wrong?’

  ‘Yeah, alright. No need to rub it in.’

  ‘So you felt bad about it?’

  ‘Yeah’

  ‘Why didn’t you apologize to the old guy?’

  ‘I don’t know. I couldn’t face him. Worse, I felt bad about letting Andy down.’

  ‘So you ran away?’

  ‘Yeah. I didn’t have a choice, did I?’

  ‘You can’t run away every time you make a cockup. Sometimes you’ve got to stand up and admit you were wrong. Running away only makes things worse.’

  ‘Yeah I know. Anyway, you can’t say anything about it. Isn’t that what you’re doing, running away?’

  ‘No, it’s different for me.’

  ‘Why is it?’

  ‘It just is, that’s all.’

  ‘That’s a typical adult response. It’s different for me,’ Ben mocked. ‘Next you’ll be saying; don’t do as I do, do as I say.’

  ‘This isn’t about me. No-one is looking for me. Well, not until recently, that is,’ he added thoughtfully.

  ‘Do you mean Andy is looking for you too?’

  ‘Well, in a way. But, he’s working for a bloke called Foster.’

  ‘What Geoffery Foster?’

  ‘Don’t tell me you know him, as well?’

  ‘Yeah. He’s a good bloke. He helped me out, too.’

  ‘So are you going to go back with this Andy? He seems very concerned about you.’

  ‘No, I can’t.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I couldn’t face Andy, I already told you.’

  ‘He’s not a Paedo is he?’ said James suddenly.

  ‘No he’s the Scout Leader.’

  ‘Doesn’t mean anything, I’ve heard about things with these Scout Leaders.’

  ‘No, it’s not…he’s not like that, he’s got a family,’ said Ben defensively.

  ‘So did some of my teachers at Boarding school, that didn’t stop them abusing us.’

  ‘No, Andy is a great bloke, he has helped me. I told you that.’

  ‘What about your mother? Now you’re not there, to look after her.’

  ‘I’ve given up trying. She keeps telling me she is going to give up drinking completely. But, she hides bottles. Thinks I don’t know.’

  ‘It’s not easy to quit. When you’ve got a drink problem, you need help to get you off it.’

  ‘Are you getting help?’

  ‘No. I told you. I haven’t got a problem.’

  ‘How much do you drink in a day?’

  ‘Not enough. Anyway what’s it to do with you?’

  ‘Mum, spends more time drinking that she does with me.’ Ben said despondently.

  ‘Sounds like we both missed out on a normal childhood,’ James said. ‘Whatever that is,’ he added.

  ‘I’ve never seen my Dad,’ Ben said quietly. ‘Mum says he died when I was a baby.’

  ‘I was at boarding school, so I only saw my parents occasionally, before they died.’ James added. ‘Been tough for you, hasn’t it? Being fatherless and having a drunk for a
mother.’

  ‘She’s not a drunk. I told you. She’s got a drink problem,’ said Ben protectively, thinking of his Mother and how vulnerable she would be without him to nag her.

  ‘OK kid. No offence meant.’

  ‘I wonder if she’d be any different, if we had a normal life,’ Ben said reflectively. ‘Most kids at school have a Mum and Dad and they do things together; go on holidays and stuff.’

  ‘Ah! The ideal, 2.5 children family unit. Well, we know the other side of that equation, don’t we?’

  ‘Mum’s great when she’s been off the booze.’

  ‘And it’s obvious, despite everything, you still love her? Well, that is my only love now,’ James said pointing at the bottle.

  ‘Why do grownups do such stupid things?’ said Ben, carrying on his analysis of his mother’s actions.

  ‘Because, nobody is infallible. Especially adults.’

  ‘But they do things which upset and hurt people. Why?’

  ‘True, people can be selfish, and insensitive to other people’s needs. But, you’ll soon learn. In this world, you have to look after yourself first. You should remember that,’ James said purposefully. ‘Look after number one, and you won’t get hurt.’

  ‘Does that mean you have to stop loving?’

  ‘What’s love got to do with it?’

  ‘Isn’t that what makes humans, special?’

  ‘Hell, you’ve got a wise head on your young shoulders.’

  ‘Something my grandad told me, when my mother went into a special hospital. Don’t hate your Mother for screwing up your childhood son. Just give her time and love,’ he said. ‘That’s what makes us special. Love.’

  ‘All this talk of love is making me thirsty. Come on, I need that drink. That’s the only love I have, these days.’

  Ben reluctantly unscrewed the top and handed the bottle over.

  Lord Jim of the park bench raised the bottle to his lips and took a swig of the ruby liquid. He drank greedily, quenching his insatiable alcoholic thirst. Ben stared at the pathetic creature and shook his head in frustration.

  ‘What’s the point?’ he said, standing up.

  ‘That’s better,’ said James, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. His matted beard dampened by dribbled sherry. ‘The world has become a better place, already.’

  ‘Goodbye,’ said Ben, walking away.

  ‘Where are you going?’ James demanded, suddenly realising that Ben was leaving.

  ‘I’ve seen enough of your world, through my Mother. I’m going before you get completely stoned,’ said Ben sadly. ‘Back to my squat.’

  ‘Please yourself. Should I tell that Andy, that I found you?’

  ‘No. Mmm. Yes, OK. So that my Mum will stop worrying.’

  ‘Trouble is, she’ll worry even more, when she knows you’re living in a squat. You get some right head cases in those.’

  ‘What do you mean? Head Cases.’

  ‘Nutters, who would knife you, as soon as look at you,’ James said. Then there’s the Junkies. Out of their face, most of the time. Not forgetting the Gangs, who kidnap young people, and force them into prostitution.

  ‘Oh. Well, the people in my squat seem to be OK.’

  ‘They’re probably grooming you,’ James said, elaborating his tale. ‘Just be careful.’

  Ben is now feeling apprehensive about returning to his squat.

  ‘I don’t even like going to hostels for the homeless. Which is why, I like sleeping in my doorway. I can please myself.’ James added.

  ‘Don’t you get scared though?’ Ben said intently, sitting back down on the bench.

  ‘Scared of what?’

  ‘Getting robbed? Being beaten up?’

  ‘Ha! I’ve got nothing they’d want. Anyway, that’s where the booze helps. As soon as my head hits the cardboard, I’m gone.’

  ‘Do you…would you mind if I came with you?’ Ben said hesitantly.

  ‘Up to you kid. But I thought you’d seen enough of pissheads?’

  ‘Yeah well,’ Ben said, spooked by James’s assessment of squats.

  CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

  Andy’s call woke Geoffery. The mission to rescue Rupert had left Geoffery feeling totally exhausted.

  ‘You OK Geoffery? you sound tired.’

  ‘You’re right. I’ve got to admit, that having rescued Rupert, from the jaws of hell, it has taken it out of me.’

  ‘So what happened?’

  ‘Just as we suspected. The bitch has been abusing Rupert. It sounds like she’s been guilty of domestic violence for a long time.’

  ‘She was obviously very good at hiding it, then.’

  ‘Yes. The investigators assessment that Rupert was a bit of wimp, was way off the mark. It turned out that she had been giving him a sedative, without his knowledge. He found it when he was locked in the house.’

  ‘So where is he now?’

  ‘I’ve put him in a hotel, to keep him away from her. As you can imagine, she’s been trying everything to find out where he’s gone, including coming here. She’s threatening to go to the Police. Accusing me of kidnap.’

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I told her, on Rupert’s behalf, that my lawyers were already compiling a court injunction to prevent her from contacting him.’

  ‘It sounds like you’ve made better progress than I have.’

  ‘Did you find James again?’

  ‘Yes, and I’ve tramped all around London with him, looking for Ben. It has done nothing to make me like the place. There is such a contrast of the haves and have not’s here.’

  ‘It’s the same in any big city, though,’ Geoffery added.

  ‘There are so many teenage run-aways here. Can you believe it? Some are only eleven or twelve. The same age as some of my Scouts. They’re everywhere. In a sober moment, James was saying, that if he had the money, he’d set up a refuge just for homeless teens.’

  ‘As much as I’d like to, unfortunately, I can’t solve the problems of the world,’ Geoffery added wisely.

  ‘These kids are so vulnerable,’ Andy continued, clearly shocked at the scale of the problem. ‘They don’t appreciate how dangerous, this running away game is that they are playing. James was telling me, he has seen the Gangs pick them up. Apparently, they ply them with drink or drugs and before the kids realise what’s going on, they are forced into drug running and prostitution. That’s the end of their dream and their freedom, and sometimes, sadly, their life. That’s why I’m so worried about Ben.’

  ‘Yes, I share your concern.’

  ‘At least, finding where he was updating Facebook from was a stroke of genius, wasn’t it?

  ‘Yes it was. I hoped Rupert would be able to help. As soon as he had calmed down enough, from the ‘great escape’; I got him working on the problem. He got hold of a few people at his place of work, and hey presto, they came up with the location.’

  ‘Can they monitor Ben live? You know when he’s actually doing the update?’

  ‘No, I’m afraid not. GCHQ might be able to do that sort of thing. But these guys have got their day jobs to do as well, and only did this as a favour for Rupert.’

  ‘Well, at least we’ve got an area to focus on in London. Let’s just hope we find him tomorrow. I get more and more concerned as each day goes by,’ Andy said anxiously.

  ‘I’m going to have to hang up Andy. I’m not feeling too good. All this excitement has obviously got to me,’ Geoffery said, barely audible.

  ‘Push your panic button Geoffery. Get somebody to check you out. Do it now. Let me hear it. Geoffery! ‘Geoffery’ can you hear me?’

  CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

  As the day faded into a darkening autumn evening, it started raining. And even with the ‘shelter’ of his alcoholic raincoat, Lord Jim decided it was time to vacate the bench and leave the park to find a dry doorway.

  Ben had decided to tag along with him, after James’s frightening revelations, about living in squats.

  The
odd couple made their way along the Tottenham Court Road, heads down against the driving rain. Ben’s hoodie quickly became very wet, the rain soaking through the thin material. Ben was very cold and shivering uncontrollably.

  What made his discomfort worse was the aroma that arose from his companion. For as James’s filthy coat got wetter, he smelt more and more like a wet, mangy dog. The smell became overwhelming. Pedestrians parted aside at his approach and gave him a wide berth.

  ‘Just need to nip in here,’ James said, stepping into a small shop that sold a miscellany of cheap imported goods.

  Ben stood self-consciously on the pavement, shoulders hunched against the rain, as James emerged with another bottle of cheap sherry.

  The pair moved into the doorway of an empty shop to shelter from the rain. Faded posters of past pop concerts covered the windows. Inside, they could see that the postman had continued to deliver mail, although it was obviously not trading. Piles of letters and circulars littered the dusty concrete floor.

  ‘Why do you need that? You’ve already had one?’ Ben nagged. ‘Perhaps the squat would have been a better choice, after all,’ he thought

  ‘I’ve already told you.’

  ‘You’re just like my Mother. You say one thing and…’

  ‘Hey! You aren’t my conscience, right?’ said James angrily. ‘Now if you don’t like it, clear off, and go and hide in your squat. You talk about me facing up to things…well what about you?’

  ‘Well, I…..’ Ben started.

  ‘So the hut burnt down! James said, interrupting, ‘So what! They put up another one on the insurance, didn’t they?’

  ‘No. It wasn’t insured. Mr Foster paid for a new one.’

  ‘Oh. Mr Millionaire Foster paid for it did he? That’s interesting.’

  ‘Yes. He’s a very generous man,’ Ben said proudly.

  ‘Generous and devious, is Mr Foster,’ ‘James muttered. ‘So, of course he would.’

  ‘What do you mean, of course he would?’

  ‘He’s after something, if I’m not mistaken,’ James said, leaning heavily on the shop door.

  ‘What? I don’t know what the hell you’re on about,’ Ben said, confused. ‘Come on, it’s stopped raining. Let’s get you to your cardboard box or whatever you sleep in.’ Ben grabbed James’s arm and started leading him down the street.