North of Light

by J. M. Paul

  “I’m sorry.” Connor strides over to me and pulls me to his chest. “I’m so sorry. I went to get coffee for us, and she was waiting for me.”

  “She’s still in love with you.” I wrap my arms around his waist.

  “Who the hell cares? Love’s just a word that means nothing if it’s not backed by actions.” He hugs me tighter, but I can tell it’s out of agitation and not the need to have me closer. “If her way of showing me commitment, faithfulness, and love was to spread her legs for the first playboy who looked in her direction, then she wasn’t worth my time in the first place.”

  I clear my throat. “Wow. Tell me how you really feel.”

  “Sorry, I know it’s harsh, but the truth always is.” He kisses my temple and then backs away.

  “I think you’re still in love with her,” I whisper, but I’m not sure he hears me.

  As he paces the room, I can tell he’s working through whatever thoughts are circling in his head. There’s mumbling, jerky movements, and a cuss word here and there.

  His attention snaps to mine. He stops in front of me, grabs my shoulders, and looks me straight in the eyes.

  “I meant what I said to you last night. It’s over between me and Emily. She can try to swing this situation any way she likes, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t want her. I want you.” His voice is deep, significant. “I’ve had one small taste of what we can be like together, and it trumps the entire two years I spent with Emily.”

  I swallow deeply at that declaration. It was a simple sentence but with excruciatingly strong words and meaning.

  Leaning forward, Connor places his forehead against mine. We stay like that for a while, breathing each other in, until someone bangs on my bedroom door.

  “Come on, bro, let’s shred trails. You can chase Lunar’s tail tonight,” Trey yells through the door.

  Laughing, we break apart but not before Connor lands a quick, hungry kiss on me.

  “You sure you don’t want to come?” Connor asks.

  “Nope, I’m good. You guys go freeze your balls off while I snuggle up by the fire and work.”

  “Mmm.” Connor’s hand lands on my butt and pulls me against him again. “I wouldn’t mind snuggling up with you. Want me to hang back?” His brows wiggle.

  “Con! Get a move on!” That’s Trey again.

  “Who invited him?” Connor shakes his head.

  “He’s your friend.” I laugh.

  “Not for much longer,” Connor growls.

  I shove him toward the door. “Go. Have fun.”

  He winks and then is gone.

  I stand in his absence and listen to the group hustling around, getting their gear together. Coffee is screaming my name, but I decide to get ready for the day. The last thing I want to do is face Emily again and ward off Taylyn’s evil stares.

  When I’m put together, I grab my computer and Kindle and head out toward the living room. A quiet afternoon after the dealings this morning is exactly what my soul needs.

  I’m humming “Sleigh Ride”—Connor must be seeping into my psyche—when I round the corner, and my steps falter.

  Oh, hell no.

  Standing at the kitchen counter and hogging the coffeemaker are none other than Emily and Taylyn.

  They lift their heads when they sense me, and the looks in their eyes tell me I’m in for a special treat I will most definitely not enjoy this afternoon.

  Cornered

  “And there she is.” Taylyn gives me her bitch face when I walk further into the room.

  Girl, don’t even start. I give way better than I take.

  Emily lightly smacks Taylyn on the arm, but she’s fighting a smile.

  My eyes swing around the cabin, searching for the others. “I thought everyone went skiing.”

  “We decided to hang back.” Emily grips her mug tighter in her hand.

  Lucky me.

  “Humph,” is all I manage.

  There goes my ideal afternoon of lounging by the fireplace, worshipping the written word.

  The two of them march into the living room as if they own it and place themselves in front of the roaring fire. One of the guys must have built it up before they left because I know these two buffoons aren’t capable. They might break a nail, and then that would cause them to develop frown lines.

  Both of them stand with their arms at their sides, glaring at me.

  Suddenly, I feel like Danny Torrance, facing off with the twins in The Shining. Although, from what I gather, this place isn’t haunted, and we’re not in the hallway of the Overlook Hotel but rather an extravagant chalet in Montana.

  This should be fun.

  I drop my things on the couch and head toward the kitchen to finally get my first cup of coffee for the day. How I’ve managed to survive this long without it astounds me.

  “We have a bone to pick with you,” Taylyn says.

  “I bet you do. But a word of advice”—I glance over my shoulder—“it would be wise not to start shit with me until I’ve had caffeine. I’ve been known to eat bitches like you for breakfast.” I grab a mug from the cupboard and go about making my coffee. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

  “You need to back the hell off from Connor, Noel.” This is from Taylyn.

  “Tay,” Emily says under her breath.

  “What? There’s no sense in sugarcoating things.” There’s a shrug in Taylyn’s tone.

  I turn to face them and simply arch a brow as the pot brews behind me.

  “He belongs to Emily.” Taylyn crosses her arms over her chest and taps her foot.

  If she gave me a head swing, it’d be exactly like I was back in kindergarten, dealing with recess bullies. I didn’t tolerate them well back then, and I certainly don’t now.

  “Seems to me, Connor’s opinion varies from yours.” I lean against the counter and cross my legs.

  “Connor’s confused.” That’s from Emily.

  “Hmm, I wonder why that is.” I scratch my chin and bat my eyelashes at her. “It couldn’t be the fact that you cheated on him, now could it?”

  “That was … a misunderstanding.” Emily’s eyes divert to the floor.

  “A misunderstanding. Hmm.” I rub my ear. “I see. So, did you just happen to trip and land in someone else’s bed?”

  Emily and Taylyn eye each other and then give me mirroring unamused expressions.

  “Don’t tell me.” I push off the granite. “You were drunk, and you didn’t know what you were doing. Or, or … even better,” I say with fake enthusiasm and swing my arms around, “you thought the new guy was Connor because you were that wasted.”

  Emily’s face is turning red.

  “Shut the hell up, Noel,” Taylyn chimes in.

  “What? Am I right?” I glance back and forth between them and land on Emily. “Which bullshit line did you feed him?”

  “I don’t know what the hell he sees in you.” Taylyn steps forward but stops when I pin her with a glare.

  “I don’t lie to him. And I sure as shit wouldn’t jump into some random guy’s bed because he told me I was pretty and could make me feel good,” I say this to Emily.

  “That’s not what happened!” Emily yells, finally breaking her composure.

  If you back me into a corner, I will bare my claws, little girls.

  “Then, enlighten me.” I arch my brows in anticipation.

  I honestly would love to hear her version of the story. In my slight experience, cheaters make the most colorful of liars, and that makes for some stellar writing fuel.

  Emily moves to the edge of the kitchen island, only putting a few feet of space between us. If she’s smart, she won’t come any closer.

  “Connor’s being rebellious with you, trying to pay me back for hurting him.” Emily swings her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “But you know what? He’ll come to his senses; I have no doubt. Our love runs too deep, and we’re forever connected in a way you could never understand.” She gives me a weighted loo
k, and it makes my stomach clench. “He’ll eventually tire of you and leave, and when he does, I’ll be there with my arms open.”

  “Keep telling yourself that, Em. I’m sure it helps you sleep better at night.” I reach for my coffee that finished brewing a while ago.

  “You’re just one of his rebounds,” Taylyn says. “One of many, if you haven’t noticed.”

  “So what if I am?” I shrug, keeping my expression stoic despite the fact that Taylyn’s comment stings. “How do you know I’m not just using him for sex?”

  Not that we’ve had sex.

  Their heads whip back, and they blink at me.

  “Or that we’re already deeply in love and planning a future together? That, thanks to our good friend Emily here, Connor definitely knows what he doesn’t want”—I point at Emily—“and now knows what he does want forever.” I point at myself.

  “Bullshit,” Emily snarls. “You’re not good enough for him.”

  I arch a brow. “How the hell would you know? You know nothing about me.”

  “Appearances speak volumes”—Emily’s eyes trail up and down my body, and her nose turns up—“and you have skank written all over you.”

  Taylyn snorts out a laugh.

  The corner of my mouth twitches upward, and I shake my head. “Good one, Em. How long did it take you to come up with that?”

  “Seconds.” She gives me a devious look.

  “Deep thoughts you must have.” I lift the cup to my lips but pause before drinking to say, “I see why Connor was so enamored.”

  “Fuck off, Noel.” Emily crosses her arms over her chest.

  I scoff. “I would tell you to go fuck yourself, but I’m certain you’d disappoint yourself.”

  Liquid sloshes over the rim of my mug when I slam it on the counter. I’ve grown bored with this child’s play, and I want to drink some damn coffee in peace.

  “We good here?” I give good bitch face as they continue to stare at me. “That’s what I thought.”

  I move to grab my things from the couch, shrug into my winter gear, and snatch the keys to the SUV.

  “While you continue to talk shit behind my back, feel free to bend down and kiss my ass. It’s Connor’s favorite thing about me,” I say before I slam the front door.

  “You’re kidding me.” Cami’s mouth drops open.

  “I kid you not.” I shake my head and take another sip of my second overpriced coffee.

  I’ve been holed up in this quant café after I left Bitch #1 and Bitch #2 back at the chalet. As soon as I got settled in my spot, I called Cami on FaceTime.

  “They cornered me like two bullies on the playground, like I’d stolen their swings.” I gaze out the window at the people and skiers milling through the cute little town at the bottom of the mountains.

  “What a bunch of bitches,” she hisses. “I wish I were there to put them in their place.”

  I bite off a large piece of croissant, and with a full mouth, I say, “Oh, I did that.”

  A slow, devious smile pulls at Cami’s lips. “I have no doubt you did.”

  My shoulders slump as I let out a big sigh. “I’m not sure this trip’s been worth it. I can’t wait to come home tomorrow.”

  “I can’t wait either.” Cami’s expression sobers.

  “How’s your dad?”

  Her phone jiggles as Cami leans forward and rests her chin in her hand. “He’s hanging in there.” She looks at something beyond her phone and then back at me. “I think he’s doing better than my mom. She might have a stroke by the time we break Dad out of here.”

  “Sorry, CC. I wish I were there with you.”

  Cami shrugs, but I can see the dark circles under her eyes and the stress she holds around the creases.

  “What are you going to do about the bimbo twins?” She changes the subject, and I let her.

  “I don’t know.” I stuff the rest of the croissant in my mouth and chomp aggressively.

  “Hungry?” Cami snorts.

  “I’m eating my anger.” A crumb shoots out of my full mouth and lands on my computer sitting on the table in front of me. I scrunch my nose.

  “Obviously, Miss Piggy.” Cami snorts.

  I stick my tongue out, and I know it’s covered in remnants of my disintegrated croissant.

  “You’re disgusting.” She shakes her head before her phone wobbles again. When Cami comes back in focus, she says, “I’ve gotta jet. The doctor just walked into my dad’s room. I think we’re finally breaking Dad loose from the hospital.”

  “Awesome. Let me know how it goes, okay?”

  Cami nods her head as she starts walking, the phone bobbing and making me a little seasick.

  “Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Love you in case I die.” I blow her a kiss.

  “Love you in case I die.” Cami waves before the screen goes black.

  As I sit and stare out at the bright white snow, I get lost in thought over Cami’s dad and how serious his situation might be, the confrontation with Emily and Taylyn this morning, and then Connor.

  A huge part of me really likes Connor, but I didn’t sign up for the drama that follows him. We’re in the beginning of a relationship where everything’s supposed to be light and fun. My experiences with him last night and this morning were anything but enjoyable, and I need to decide if our connection is something I want to pursue further. Because, if my instincts are correct, they tell me that Emily isn’t done trying to sabotage whatever potential Connor and I might have.

  Shaking off the thought, I order my third coffee and dig into my writing.

  My cell phone buzzes on the table, breaking me from my concentration. When I blink up, I realize the day has transitioned into evening. I’ve lost myself in my writing and stayed in this café far longer than I planned.

  “Shit.” I start to gather my things to place them into my bag when my phone buzzes again.

  I unlock it and see a couple of missed calls and several missed text messages from Connor. I scroll up to the top.

  Connor: Hey. We’re back. Where are you?

  Connor: I’m freezing, and I need you to warm me up. ;)

  Twenty minutes later …

  Connor: Hello?

  Fifteen minutes later …

  Connor: Noel?

  Connor: You’re worrying me. Are you okay?

  Ten minutes later …

  Connor: This isn’t funny. Call me.

  One minute ago …

  Connor: Damn it, Noel. I’m losing my mind. Answer your goddamn phone!

  Thirty seconds ago …

  Connor: If I don’t hear from you in the next five minutes, I’m calling the police.

  “Shit.” I type out a quick reply.

  Me: Sorry! I’m okay.

  Me: I’m at a café in town, and I lost track of time while writing.

  Connor: Shit, woman. Learn to answer your phone!

  Connor: Glad you’re okay.

  Connor: I thought you had been abducted or eaten by a mountain lion.

  I chuckle at the last part, but then I shiver when I realize that’s a viable possibility in Montana.

  Me: I’m packing up and heading back.

  Connor: Be careful.

  Connor: And I’ll plot your punishment while I wait … ;)

  For reasons I can’t explain, his playful threat sends chills over my skin.

  I quickly finish packing up, pay my bill, and make the trek up the mountain.

  Snow crunches under the tires as I pull into the driveway. It appears every light is glowing inside and outside the chalet, and I wonder if Connor turned them on in a desperate haste while searching for me.

  The thought of him frantically running around makes me feel horrible, so I grab my gear and jog up the porch stairs.

  Quickly swinging the door open, I enter, drop my stuff, peel off my outdoor layers, and hang my coat on a hook next to everyone else’s jackets.

  When I make my way into the living room, the bottom drops out from under my
feet. My stomach churns, and bile creeps up my throat.

  Connor and Emily are standing in the kitchen, talking intimately. Emily’s hand slowly moves up Connor’s arm to his shoulder. He wraps his hand around her wrist, and I’m not sure if the act is meant to encourage or to deter because Emily lifts up onto her toes and slams her lips onto Connor’s.

  Time stands still as I watch the horror unfold in front of me for what seems like an eternity.

  My face grows hot, and I clench my fists so tightly, my nails dig into my palms.

  Asshole.

  Connor shoves Emily, breaking their contact. Emily lets out a little squeak of shock as she stumbles backward a few steps.

  “What the fuck, Em?” Irritation is woven through every word.

  Emily’s cheeks have a small pool of pink forming, and she peeks up at Connor through her eyelashes.

  I must make a sound or a noise or maybe they finally feel my presence, but both of their heads turn in my direction at the same time.

  “Noel,” Connor whispers my name with so much guilt, it’s like an arrow shoots straight through my heart. The organ is left bleeding and throbbing along with my pride.

  Flickering my eyes over to Emily, I see her smirk behind Connor’s back. When I regard Connor again, his lips are pinched, and he seems contrite.

  I shake my head, white-hot fury clawing at my skin, and stomp off toward my room.

  “Noel,” Connor calls after me.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Emily grab Connor’s arm when he tries to follow me.

  “Enough, Em,” he barks. “We’re done.”

  Just before I’m able to slam my bedroom door, Connor’s palm slaps against it, pushing it open. He squeezes through the space and latches it behind him.

  “What the hell?” I seethe.

  “It’s not what you think—”

  “I don’t want to hear it.” I lift my hand up to block him from continuing.

  “She attacked me and—”

  “Enough.” I step away from him.

  “Just let me explain.” He follows me over to the fireplace.

  “I don’t need your excuses!” I turn on him. “Seeing your lips locked on Emily’s is all the clarification I need.”

  “My lips weren’t locked on hers.”