Workin' It!

by RuPaul

  RuPaul’s Guide to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Style

  Workin’ It!

  RuPaul

  Photographs by

  Mathu Andersen

  Contents

  Introduction

  1 It’s Your Attitude, Quite Frankly

  2 Give Me Body

  3 Wake Up to Makeup

  4 Love Is in the Hair

  5 The Wardrobe Department

  6 Money, Power, and Success

  RuPaul’s Confessions

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Credits

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  I Work It!

  INTRODUCTION

  The best advice I’ve ever gotten was from my tenth-grade drama teacher, Mr. Pannell. At the time, I was going through a teenage drama of my own. My bad grades had finally caught up with me and I was being faced with expulsion from the only school I had ever really enjoyed going to. My teacher, seeing how shaken up I was, calmly pulled me to the side and said with an even tone, “The most important thing to remember, RuPaul, is to not take life too seriously.” Excuse me? I thought. I’m about to get kicked out of the only school I’ve ever loved and your advice for me is “don’t take life too seriously”? Are you for real? Of course, the truth and wisdom of his advice was lost on me then, but I never forgot it. In fact, over the next thirty years, it would become the creed I live my life by.

  “Don’t take life too seriously” has served me well in the way I dress (in and out of drag), in the way I live, and undeniably in the way I work it! This easy-breezy approach is especially valuable when it comes to the people who want to suck me into their drama, misery, and despair. Honey, life is shorter than you think. I don’t have the time to be mired down in the mud. I’ve sung that song before, and it ain’t pretty. I choose joy. I’m a Scorpio, so I have a certain proclivity toward introspection, which isn’t terrible. It just means I have to actively nurture my lightness so I can have a balanced experience. Is the glass half full or half empty? Both choices are correct, but one choice will bring you joy, and the other will bring you pain. Yep, I choose joy.

  Balance is a key theme in my life. Being able to take a step back and recognize what the situation calls for is essential. Sometimes that ability is intuitive, sometimes it’s learned, and sometimes it’s having the clarity of mind to ask someone who knows.

  As a child, I assumed everyone had been given an instruction manual except for me. I grew up in a house with all girls, so I felt like the little boy who fell to Earth. I was a sweet, odd-looking kid with a face full of freckles. I got teased a lot for being a sissy, and I most definitely didn’t fit in. Being an outsider motivated me to study human behavior. My thinking was that if I could learn the rules of the game, then perhaps I could find a loophole and angle my way in. Well, I found plenty of loopholes, contradictions, and flat-out lies. And, honey, if I’m lying, I’m flying. Through my observations, it became clear that most of society’s rules and customs are rooted in fear and superstition! That makes them beyond refute.

  Yep, I choose joy

  With that knowledge came a death and a rebirth: the death of my desire to fit in, and the birth of my acceptance of a life outside the box. There is freedom outside the box. There is truth outside the box. And it was outside the box that I began to truly understand and develop my own sense of style.

  The truth is you are a spiritual being having a human experience. The human part of the experience is temporary. Think of it as a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. Your spiritual being is not temporary. It is eternal. Think of it as the sun and the moon. That’s why the saying “You’re born naked and the rest is drag” couldn’t be more true. Drag isn’t just a man wearing false eyelashes and a pussycat wig. Drag isn’t just a woman with a pair of glued-on sideburns and an Elvis jumpsuit. Drag is everything. I don’t differentiate drag from dressing up or dressing down. Whatever you put on after you get out of the shower is your drag. Be it a three-piece suit or a Chanel suit, a McDonald’s uniform or a police uniform. The truth of who you really are is not defined by your clothes.

  Okay, now I’m gonna really blow your mind. Let’s take it a step further. Whatever you proclaim as your identity here in the material realm is also your drag. You are not your religion. You are not your skin color. You are not your gender, your politics, your career, or your marital status. You are none of the superficial things that this world deems important. The real you is the energy force that created the entire universe!

  There, I said it! I’ve spilled the beans on what your ego doesn’t want you to hear: you are The Source, The One, The Big Enchilada (with an ever so temporary case of self-induced amnesia). But hey, we cool…we don’t have to get into that right now…. Just know that when you’re ready to accept it, everything becomes so easy, not so serious, and oh so much more fun! Your entire notion of style can be set free!

  In the theater, when an actor breaks character and addresses the audience, it’s called breaking the fourth wall. It can be startling because it disrupts the illusion created by the actors and the audience. The same is true of this quasi world we’ve collectively created here on Earth. We take on roles that become our identity, but unlike the stage actor, we believe we literally are the characters we are portraying, forgetting who we really are—spiritual beings having human experiences. Some people take their roles so seriously that they are willing to kill in the name of staying true to their character.

  NOBODY WINS BY PLAYING SMALL.

  Most people don’t want to awaken from the illusion. That’s why drag queens make a lot of people feel uncomfortable. Drag queens are essentially making fun of the roles people are playing. And in doing so, “drags” have become experts at parody, satire, and deconstructing social patterns. In the drag world, we might say “she” when we’re actually talking about a “he,” or we might laugh hysterically at a sad, depressing scene from an old black-and-white melodrama. Again, it’s a survival technique to avoid getting sucked into the “seriousness” of all the drama. Like Mary J. Blige says, “No more drama.”

  And it’s not only drag queens who have blown the lid off culture’s lunacy and hypocrisy. Comedians, rock stars, and even Bugs Bunny have built celebrated careers on irreverence and challenging the status quo, but drag queens aren’t praised as such because they carry the burden of shame inflicted on feminine men by a masculine-dominated society. Feminine behavior in a man is seen as an act of treason in a masculine culture, as opposed to in ancient cultures that relied on drag queens, shamans, and witch doctors to remind each individual member of the tribe of their duality as male and female, human and spirit, body and soul.

  I needed to start off with this monologue so you could understand my approach to life, which is the following:

  Don’t take life too seriously.

  Love yourself.

  Very little is off-limits,

  but draw the line at being unkind.

  Do whatever you want, just so long as

  you don’t hurt anyone

  else in the process.

  Live your life with no restrictions.

  To truly create your best life ever, you must begin the work from the inside out. You must liberate yourself and clear away the old mental habits that block you from moving forward. Style is a celebratory expression of your life force. You must approach it with a sense of joie de vivre. Open yourself to all the possibilities! And remember to love yourself, because if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen in here?

  All the colors of the rainbow are there for you to use, but keep in mind that there are fixed ways the human senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch) will interpret information (but those margins c
an be nudged with a quick and clever hand and a well-rounded knowledge of history). You must learn the rules first before you throw them out, and then by all means throw them out. The future belongs to those who have learned from the past. In the following pages, I have outlined tried-and-true techniques found on my quest for life, liberty, and the pursuit of style.

  DEEP INSIDE THE BASS, WE HAVE NO FEAR.

  one

  It’s your attitude quite frankly.

  AS FREE AS THE WIND THAT’S BLOWING OUT HERE ON THIS BEACH…

  THE FREQUENCY BETWEEN YOU AND ME

  Having a great sense of style is more than being able to put the right combination of clothing together to look clever and chic. It’s more than having a keen eye for home design and a knack for turning a simple party into an unforgettable event. Having a great sense of style also includes how well you’re able to love yourself, and the ease at which you balance your ego with your spirit. Being elegant and composed on the outside as well as the inside takes conscious effort and vigilant practice. Dealing with stress, disappointments, and the myriad other problems that plague modern life can be daunting, but not impossible if approached from a foundation of self-love. That foundation is firmly rooted in the knowledge of who you really are. And who you really are is a spiritual being having a human experience. This isn’t something you have to learn—this is something you have to remember. Because deep down, you already know it.

  Rise up and be fearless

  Your spirit is a frequency transmitting at this very moment. Some people have a strong, clear signal, and some people have a weak, obscured signal layered by many years of fear and self-loathing. A lifetime of being told you are ugly or stupid or unlovable will fade away when those layers are dissolved, and your ability to claim your greatness will emerge. Addictions, compulsions, and obsessions are a result of a blocked frequency. Clearing a path for your frequency to transmit freely is the key to revealing your own personal style, unique aesthetic, and inalienable freedom.

  In these pages, I’ll share with you some of the daily practices that have helped me keep my frequency clear. Like a beacon of light ready to sear through the dark night of the soul, your frequency is lying in wait for your beck and call. No more hiding, no more dumbing down. Rise up and be fierce! Fierceness is a deliberate decision to be clear, precise, and on point. Rise up and be fearless, like a Maasai warrior. Stake your claim in this lifetime. Remember who you really are. Unleash the dragon and let—these—bitches—have—it!

  SQUIRREL FRIENDS

  San Diego is known for its sunny skies and beautiful beaches, and when I was growing up there I’d go to the beach as often as I could. I loved it. It made me feel free. Getting there took quite a bit of effort because my neighborhood was so far inland that I’d have to catch several buses before I reached the shoreline. The people in my neighborhood rarely ventured out there. In fact, they didn’t leave our neighborhood much at all. They preferred to stay in the comfort of the hood, thank you very much. But at thirteen, I had a desire to explore, and no amount of bus hopping would deter me. I always thought it was weird that so few people from my neighborhood ever enjoyed the most celebrated feature of living in Southern California, but hey, that wasn’t gonna stop me from going. Upon my return from the beach, the neighborhood kids would get on my case by saying things like “Oh, you must think you white or something!” or “You think you better than us?”

  This was a real eye-opener. I wasn’t prepared for the negative reaction my seaside odyssey would evoke. It’s then I realized: I’d have to learn to navigate around other people’s threatened egos—particularly when I didn’t buy into their small, limited view of the world. Back then, my choices were to dumb down or keep quiet and play possum. I learned to do both until I could get the hell out of there, which happened a couple years later when I moved to Atlanta, Georgia.

  If you have goals and the stick-with-it-ness to make things happen, people will feel threatened by you, especially if your goals don’t include them. They believe that if you take a piece of pie, then that leaves less pie for them. Seeing you follow your dreams leaves them realizing that they’re not following theirs. In truth, there is unlimited pie for everyone!

  YOU HAD ME AT “YELLOW.”

  I wish I could say that scenario didn’t repeat itself once I left San Diego County, but unfortunately it did, many times. From Atlanta to New York and back to Cali again. Every single time my star shined brighter or an opportunity arose for me, the current friends in my life would barely disguise the resentment in their eyes. I could feel it. I could smell it. Of course, me being the eternal pleaser, I’d offer a hand and say, “Come, go with me!” or “Maybe I could get you a…,” but that trick never works. It got to the point where I wouldn’t even share the good news of my career developments anymore. Strangely, they seemed happier to hear of my disappointments. Reminds me of a bunch of king crabs in a pot of boiling water—as one climbs to freedom, the others pull it down. So I worked out a plan for this kind of reaction. I developed an exit strategy and put it into play when the time came. I know it may sound cold, but I am talking self-preservation, baby.

  My attitude toward friendship has remained the same. I will support and encourage you with all the love in my heart, but if it’s not reciprocal, I gotta go. When the envy and negativity of others start to undermine your confidence, you have to find comfort in other places. If your friends are bitter about your success to the extent that they act out, don’t expect them to change. They aren’t evolved enough to understand that opportunity creates more opportunity. Move on. You’ll make new friends who will be drawn to your frequency, and you to theirs. You cannot thrive in toxic relationships. This is an unfortunate fact of life, and the sooner you recognize the tactics of the threatened ego, the faster you’ll be able to sidestep its emotional land mines.

  You cannot thrive in toxic relationships

  CREATING OPPORTUNITIES

  I was inspired to catch the bus to the San Diego beach because of my desire for beauty, my innate curiosity, and my tenacity to try something new. I approach my career in the same way. I’ve always loved music, laughter, textures, and color. I love movies, books, and wildly creative people. So, naturally, I set out to create a life for myself that included all these things. And I would have done so whether I was paid for it or not. In fact, for the first ten years of my career, I was barely able to pay rent. But attention was always paid to what inspired me. You never know where that next big idea is coming from. And you’ll never see it coming if your heart and mind are not open.

  In 1996, I was asked to present at the first televised VH1 Fashion Awards. I happily agreed, but was soon disappointed when I read the script they had written for me. The tone of it was bitchy and mean—a trap most writers fall into when they’re trying to emulate “queen’s speak.” I told them that my shtick is sassy, not bitchy. It’s a fine line a lot of people have a hard time deciphering. I asked if I could have a crack at the script and they said yes. When I presented the award, the bit I wrote brought the house down. I can still see the faces of Tina Turner, Iman, and Elton John laughing hysterically. The next day, I got a call from VH1 offering me my own talk show.

  VALET, MY LIMOUSINE.

  PUMP IT AND BUMP IT.

  BOX-OFFICE SWEETIE.

  Had I not taken a chance, the opportunity would never have come up. Sometimes you have to wait for opportunities, but most times you have to create them for yourself. If you’re waiting for an opportunity, make sure you’re prepared when it happens. Learn your craft, and know thyself. If you’re creating opportunities, you’re planting seeds, nurturing them, and then planting some more. When the going gets tough, the tough reinvent. Life requires that you reinvent yourself every seven years. Whether it’s in friendships, in business, or in how you see yourself.

  Having reached local stardom in the underground club scene of Manhattan, I set my sights on conquering the mainstream pop world. My plan was simple: create a fun, club-k
id image that wouldn’t frighten Middle America—more androgyny than drag. I naturally assumed the drag persona that had made me famous downtown wouldn’t play so well in Peoria. Months passed. I got a few gigs, and audiences seemed to like it all right, but their enthusiasm was nowhere near the jaw-dropping reaction I was used to getting when I performed in drag. So far, my mainstream reinvention was bombing. I needed a miracle.

  Learn your craft and know thyself

  Then I had an epiphany. Why couldn’t I become a mainstream pop star in drag? Who said it couldn’t be done? Was it all my own limited thinking that prevented me from moving forward? The answer was a resounding yes. All along I thought it had been the world blocking my way, but in reality it was me. I was the one schlepping yesterday’s limited view of myself into today. If I was willing to change my mind, I could change the world! With that realization, I felt the earth shift. It was as if ancient stone walls started to crumble and crash down, and the magical words open sesame billowed through my head. From that moment on, my life would never be the same. Not only did I go on to become the world’s most famous drag queen but I also discovered the secret of manifesting miracles by changing my mind.

  DON’T BE JEALOUS OF MY BOOGIE.

  FIRST IMPRESSIONS

  We’re all familiar with the idea of making an entrance. It’s not just pertinent to the Broadway stage or the fashion runway. When faced with auditions, job interviews, first dates, or really nailing it in a twenty-minute presentation, the first impression means everything. And it may be the only chance you get. Being six foot four pretty much ensured that I wouldn’t go unnoticed walking into a room. But I need more than just my height to make a lasting impact. And you better believe there are bona fide techniques to make the best first impression. How do you want other people to see you—approachable, energetic, comfortable in your own skin?