Workin' It!

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Workin' It! Page 5

by RuPaul


  Start by getting inspiration from the classic fashion houses: Yves Saint Laurent, Christian Dior, Givenchy, Valentino, and Chanel. Go online to Style.com and spook their current collections to see how shapes and colors are paired. Some combinations will speak to you immediately and others will leave you cold, which is perfectly fine. Then branch off into some of the more adventurous designers: Jean-Paul Gaultier, Alexander McQueen, John Galliano, Etro, and Vivienne Westwood. Remember, wardrobe is first and foremost there to complement the frequency you have worked so hard to clear a path for. Search for ideas that could enhance your frequency. You won’t become an expert overnight, but after a few months, your own aesthetic will emerge.

  SNAP THE PICTURE, ALREADY!

  OH NO, YOU BETTER DON’T!

  YOU DID WHAT?!!

  INVENTORY

  Now it’s time to edit your existing wardrobe. The rule is if you haven’t worn it in a year, get rid of it. Trash it or give it away. By doing so, you leave room for more to come into your life. Be a participant in the energetic flow. Hoarding stuff blocks energy and makes you stagnant. This is more than just symbolic. It’s an approach to life that will keep you vibrant and fresh with new ideas. I’ve never had a problem getting rid of old stuff, because I wear the hell out of everything I own. I change clothes at least three times a day. It’s the only way I can justify all the shopping I do. Prada to the grocery store? Yes! Gucci to the dry cleaner’s? Why not? Dolce & Gabbana to the corner deli? I insist!

  A basic wardrobe is made up of just a few classic pieces. Of course, those pieces slightly vary between men and women, but the philosophy is still the same: quality clothing that fits well. Once you have the basics, you can build on the primary theme and add accessories to accent your personal style. Remember to never balk at spending the big money for the finest shoes, bags, and belts. That way you can accessorize an inexpensive pair of jeans and a plain white T-shirt to look like a million bucks. Having a talented tailor is also key to every sharp dresser. Ask your well-dressed friends or well-dressed people you run into on the street if they can recommend an awesome tailor. The good ones are expensive, but they could make the difference between an okay-looking outfit and a rockin’ showstopper!

  You must do your homework

  Once you’ve narrowed down your existing wardrobe to the pieces that really work for you, get out your digital camera and do an experimental fitting. Put different combinations of pants, shirts, scarves, and belts together. Photograph each combination, using the timer on the digital camera. Talk about having another set of eyes! It will be very clear to you what works and what doesn’t. Plus, it’ll save you valuable time the next day you don’t know what to wear. All you’ll have to do is look at your collection of digital photographs and decide.

  PROPORTIONS

  Ever wonder why store mannequins always look fantastic, even in rotten clothes? The answer is body proportions. Mannequins are built with the body proportions that are balanced and pleasing to the human eye—the same body proportions clothing designers cut patterns for. If you don’t have mannequin body proportions, you too can look fantastic in clothes if you learn how to choose clothes that direct the focus of the human eye. The human eye is looking for balance and symmetry. Until you fully understand this concept, it’s best to enlist the help of your trusted digital camera to give you an undistorted view of your body proportions. Photographs will show if your legs, neck, and torso are long or short. They’ll reveal broad shoulders, narrow hips, barrel chests, and knocked knees. Don’t be afraid to find out what you’re really working with. Identifying your weak areas is the first step to showcasing your strong areas.

  I have very long legs and a comparably short torso and neck. To balance my silhouette in drag, I always wear hair that has a lot of height (even when I’m wearing it down) and I keep the area between my chin and breast bone clear of obstruction. No scarves or turtlenecks, and rarely do I wear necklaces. For me, an open-V neckline elongates the whole upper portion of my body. That way, it forces the eye to see my center of balance as lower than it actually is. The one exception to my rule is if I’m being photographed from only the waist up.

  I PREFER ONE IMPORTANT PIECE OF JEWELRY PER OUTFIT.

  Out of drag, I can wear turtlenecks, fitted T-shirts, and scarves because my center of balance is already lower from wearing flat shoes. But even then, I will throw on a hat with a tall crown or wear monochromatic colors to balance my proportions. Most men’s jean jackets are cropped much lower than where my waist falls—so that would make me look sloppy. A big optical no-no for men is a tucked-in shirt with short sleeves that are too long. Short sleeves must stop at least four inches above the elbow. If not, it makes the waist look abnormally short and disproportionate.

  If your legs are short and your torso is long, bring the focus higher. Narrow shoulders need padding to compensate. This process of shifting the focus is made much easier with the keen eye of a terrific tailor. Make it your mission to find one.

  NEVER PERM YOUR OWN HAIR!

  Fashionistas can make anything work

  ACCESSORIES

  Call me old-fashioned, but generally I like to match the color of my shoes with my belt and bag. Obviously, there are exceptions. I’ve seen some really boss fashionistas make multicolored accessories work, but the general public not so much. I have the same philosophy when it comes to jewelry: gold with gold and silver with silver. Copper I will mix with gold. Again, the boss fashionistas can make anything work.

  THE BASICS FOR MEN

  a fitted blue suit

  a pair of dark blue jeans

  a white button-down shirt

  a black button-down shirt

  a skinny black tie

  a black cashmere V-neck pullover

  a red cashmere V-neck pullover

  plain white T-shirts

  a striped French sailor shirt

  a fitted khaki trench coat

  a blue peacoat

  THE BASICS FOR WOMEN

  a fitted blue suit

  a simple black dress

  a black knee-length pencil skirt

  a pair of blue jeans

  a white button-down shirt

  a black button-down shirt

  a black wool button-down

  V-neck sweater

  a camel cashmere button-down

  V-neck sweater

  a black wool turtleneck sweater

  a striped French sailor shirt

  a fitted khaki trench coat

  a fitted black knee-length peacoat

  SPIT YOUR GUM OUT, GIRL! YOU’RE ON!

  RU-DIMENTARY SUGGESTIONS

  1. Choose your colors don’t stumble upon them. Something magical happens when you hold certain colors up to your skin while looking in a mirror. The colors that make you feel a rush are the ones to gravitate toward. Trust the rush when choosing your colors.

  2. Know your feet. Get to know the various shoe brands. Some are not built for your foot shape. If you’re not comfortable, you’re not going to look good or walk well.

  3. When you put it on and it feels wrong—it is. Take it off.

  4. If you’re dressing to please other people, you’ve lost yourself. Plus, other people are too self-absorbed to notice or care. I find the only people who notice I’m wearing something chic are the ones who work in boutiques.

  5. When wearing all white, always wear a black bra and panties.

  6. If you must buy a trendy item, buy the inexpensive knockoff. It’s not worth paying big bucks on a trend that will be over tomorrow.

  7. Everyone needs The Gay in their life. Someone who says, “Kiddo, this look is not the one!” But don’t get it twisted! Gay men were not put on this earth just to serve as your personal stylist. We have our own wants and needs that have to be met on a human level. Friendship is a two-way street.

  8. “Scrunch boots” make legs look short. Do not wear boots that shorten your legs.

  9. Embrace the gift of height. Don’t avoid heels
to make your date feel taller. It won’t work. Your height is not the problem; his ego is. Egos are in the business of being fragile.

  10. Don’t ever take your heels off in public and walk around barefoot while carrying them. Quite frankly, it makes you look trashy. If you plan on being in heels for a long time, say at a wedding or an event, wear mules. They’re much more comfortable than closed-toe stilettos or strappy sandals.

  NEVER EVER?

  1. Never wear workout shoes or gym apparel outside the gym.

  2. Never wear a T-shirt that advertises a business or a past event.

  3. Never wear more than one designer logo at once.

  4. Never wear pleated pants unless your stomach is flat.

  5. Never buy something you haven’t tried on first.

  6. Never wear a fanny pack.

  7. Never wear pants that stop midcalf.

  8. Never wear an oversize T-shirt to try to cover your big butt. It only makes it look bigger.

  9. Never wear hair rollers or a do-rag in public.

  10. Never wear stacked marshmallow flip-flops.

  STROLL DOWN THE RUNWAY…ANOTHER PAYDAY.

  THIS IS THE MAIN EVENT! ARE YOU READY?

  FIRST TIME IN DRAG?

  I wish there was a crash course in glamazon, but there isn’t. It just takes practice, practice, practice! Take pictures of yourself and learn from them. Also, be willing to make mistakes (and trust me, there will be some), but don’t beat yourself up over them—have fun! It is truly a matter of celebrating life with a sense of humor and savoir faire.

  Here are a few tips for drag queens just starting out:

  Choose a name

  that flows and rolls off the tongue—something clever, but not too complicated.

  Never wear your own hair.

  If you have a nice hairline (one that is not receding), you can feature a hairpiece or a fall.

  Always feature false eyelashes.

  Never wear men’s attire while in drag,

  for example, your daytime glasses, an overcoat, slacks (unless you are padded), sneakers, or flat shoes.

  Always serve a

  full-coverage foundation with powder.

  Never let anyone

  see you eating food while in drag.

  Never respond to someone

  who yells “Hey, slim!” out of a passing car.

  Never lip-synch slow ballads unless you have at least three years of “showgirl” experience.

  Shave your eyebrows off completely

  and paint them on the way God intended! (Otherwise, see my eyebrow coverage instructions in “The Ru Routine” in chapter 3.)

  Most important, be kind.

  There are enough “bitchy queens.”

  LIFE’S LESSONS ARE LEARNED THROUGH MISTAKES. DON’T BE AFRAID TO MAKE THEM.

  GOOD GIRL GONE BAD

  Whether you’re a nurse or a soccer mom, you can still add a degree of naughty to your nice. If you follow fashion, you’ll recognize that a constant theme is the soft brushing up against the rough, the feminine courting the masculine. If you always wear flats, indulge in a pair of high heels and a very tight skirt. Everyone should own a black smudge eye pencil. Break the monotony. Surprise that special someone with your alter ego. Show up one night in a black China doll wig, red lipstick, and high heels. Nothing is more of a turn-on than the unexpected. If you have to wear conservative clothes for work, go the black-lace lingerie route underneath. You’ll be tickled throughout the day knowing that you’re sitting on a secret. Conservative men can apply this same concept with a black motorcycle jacket, black boots, a white T-shirt, and a pair of Levi’s 501s. Throw on a pair of aviator sunglasses and instantly transform into James Dean.

  DAY FOR NIGHT

  Assuming you don’t have a change of clothes in your bag or in the trunk of your car, the easiest way to turn a day look into evening allure is with a few key elements: makeup, accessories, and high heels. Nothing says glamour more than a pair of well-applied false eyelashes (easy instructions in chapter 3). Hair worn down during the day becomes practically magic at night by styling an updo and adding drop earrings. Put lip gloss on your daytime matte lipstick and dazzle them with your smile. Add a touch of iridescent shimmer to your eyelids or cheekbones to catch the light. Use jewelry to spice up a pair of slacks and a blazer—broaches, pearls, and chains add sparkle!

  MISS LADY BIGFOOT

  In men’s shoes I wear a size 12, which means I’d have to find a pair of size 14 women’s shoes to walk that particular walk. Trouble is it’s very rare to find sexy women’s shoes in a size 14*. The best option is to find a pair of slip-on mules in a size 12 or 13. That way, there isn’t too much of a foot overhang, and it’ll be way more comfortable than closed-toe stilettos or strappy sandals.

  Confidence. If you believe it then we can see it!

  WORKING WALKING

  In heels, I walk on the base of my foot, putting very little weight on my heels. I use the heel for balance while standing. When people are having problems walking in high heels, it’s because they’re distributing too much weight on the heel of the shoe. Keep in mind that the fiercest runway savages focus on what’s between their ears and not what’s on their feet. Confidence. If you believe it, then we can see it!

  BAGGAGE CLAIM

  I packed a bag and left my mother’s house when I was fifteen. The funny thing is I have yet to unpack. I’ve basically been traveling ever since. In all these years, the one prevailing rule is don’t overpack. I’ve got it down to a science. I know it’s better to wear the same thing over and over than to not wear something you’ve packed and didn’t even need—not to mention carried with you to the far ends of the Earth and back. Aside from essential clothing items needed for jetting around the globe, here is a list of nonclothing items that are always in my luggage.

  LEAVE YOUR PROBLEMS AT THE FRONT DOOR.

  BAGGAGE

  Toiletries

  baby wipes

  (No explanation needed.)

  ibuprofen and

  sleeping pills

  allergy medication

  packets of Theraflu

  emery board

  nail clippers

  tweezers

  condoms and lube

  dental floss

  small scissors

  face towel

  (Some European hotels don’t have them.)

  Electrical

  100-watt halogen lightbulb

  (Place in empty baby wipes box, wrapped in tissue paper.)

  painter’s clip-on light fixture

  (Remove reflective funnel.)

  NOTE: Hotels are notorious for having bad bathroom lighting. This makes it difficult to create an illusion on your face when there are two 40-watt bulbs on either side of the mirror. I wish you could see some of the jerry-rigged lighting I’ve concocted in hotel bathrooms all over the world, from here to Booragoon.

  voltage converter/transformer with adapters

  (For overseas travel only. Don’t rely on adapters alone. The electrical currency must be converted.)

  extension cord

  power strip

  computer with power cord

  external hard drive

  iPod

  iPod/iPhone charger

  two pairs of headphones

  headphone adapter

  (So two can listen at once.)

  portable speaker system

  THE JOURNEY IS THE DESTINATION.

  RCA “Y” cord

  (It connects your iPod to a TV or stereo via an auxiliary jack.)

  auxiliary iPod cord for your rental car

  booklet of DVDs, homemade CDs, and

  blank recordable CDs

  digital voice recorder

  digital camera

  mini video camera

  travel flashlight

  portable folding alarm clock

  Other

  passport or driver’s license

  sunglasses

  reading glasses
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  paperback book

  earplugs

  matches

  clothespins

  safety pins

  THE JET SET

  The easiest way to consolidate your luggage is to first decide what color accessories you’re going to feature on this trip. Brown shoes, belt, and carry-on bag, or black? Gold jewelry or silver?

  Then you’ll need the following:

  a versatile carry-on bag

  that can hold a computer

  a pair of leather shoes

  a belt

  a white button-down shirt

  a black button-down shirt

  a blue fitted Prada

 

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