A Love of Her Own

by Maggie Brendan

  “I needed to be outdoors today and thought I’d come check out Josh’s place. I guess I should tell you that they’ve decided to stay away a few more days.”

  Andy laughed. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I figure he’ll get back eventually.”

  A few woolies wandered over, and April moved away, but they continued to be curious.

  “Sheep are the gentlest of God’s creatures, April. Maybe dumb, but gentle.”

  April couldn’t resist touching the woolly lambs’ backs and was surprised at their softness. “I’ve never been near sheep.”

  “Most people haven’t. Josh told me your daddy raises prime beef cattle,” he said. “Let’s walk on up to the house. It’s not far. Nellie will be setting out lunch about now. We’d be happy if you’d stay.” He turned to hold Shebe’s face in his hands. “Shebe, you stay,” he commanded. Shebe’s brown eyes looked directly at him, then she responded with a yap.

  April trailed Sassy behind her and walked alongside Andy. Though he smelled of sheep and the outdoors, she struggled not to turn up her nose. “That would be nice, Andy. I’m enjoying getting to know the people who live around here.”

  “If Josh had his druthers, he’d have you stay.”

  They chatted as they walked through the meadow, and April learned that Josh had made certain his house was large enough to have a separate area for Andy and Nellie. April saw evidence of trees half-burned and new grass in the field amid areas charred from the recent fire Josh had written about. They’d weathered some tough times together, Andy confided.

  Eventually, Andy and April started up a gradual incline until Josh’s ranch house, rebuilt after the fire, came into view at the foot of the mountain. The house was hewn out of rich ponderosa pine with a front porch that ran the full length of the house. A split-rail fence on either side of the long, wide driveway was flanked by spruce trees leading right up to the front door. A fat calico cat that lay curled up in a rocking chair hopped down and ran when the two approached. Something wonderful wafted on the breeze, making April’s stomach growl.

  “That’s Prissy, Juliana’s cat. She just had to have her. She can be a little snooty sometimes,” Andy said.

  “She’s a pretty cat,” April said, following him through the door. “I’ve never had one.”

  “Stick around long enough and Juliana will see to it that you will,” Andy said with a wink.

  Nellie came from the kitchen, her beautiful, ivory skin flushed— from the oven’s heat, April assumed. She beamed when she saw April with Andy and wiped her hands on her apron. “What a pleasure ’tis to be seeing you again! And just in time for lunch. I’ve just taken a shepherd’s pie out of the oven to cool,” Nellie said in her jolly British accent. She stretched out her hand to clasp April’s, giving it a firm shake.

  April liked Nellie’s warm smile, and the freckles sprinkled across the bridge of her nose and cheeks made Nellie all the more charming. Her hair was pushed up into a bun, but now the curls escaped their pins. “It smells wonderful in here. I’d love to stay, if it’s not a bother,” April said.

  “Lovely! Andy, show her the washroom. We can eat in the kitchen since it’s just the three of us. No sense in being too formal, don’t you think?” Without waiting for an answer, Nellie bustled off to the kitchen while Andy showed April where she could freshen up.

  April was impressed with the large expansive living room and heavy furniture carved in ponderosa pine. A heavy leather chair flanked the fireplace, and a smaller rocker, which must have been made for Juliana, sat kitty-corner from the chair. Her brother’s home was simply decorated, warm and inviting just like he was, but it lacked a woman’s touch. April was sure that would change as soon as he and Juliana returned from their honeymoon.

  Entering the washroom, she removed her hat, then hurriedly washed her hands and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was a golden tan, and the sun had lightened her hair to a flaxen color that only complemented her features. April smiled at her reflection and decided that she liked her looks. She paused, wondering what Wes was doing right now. She blinked hard. What did it matter? Yet she couldn’t keep from thinking about it.

  She scurried to the kitchen, dying to taste Nellie’s shepherd’s pie. What a treat that would be!

  After a second helping, April blotted her mouth, and when Nellie would have put more in her dish, April held out her hand, stopping her. “I couldn’t eat another bite, Nellie. Andy has himself a wonderful cook.”

  Nellie turned pink with pleasure. “’Tis Andy who does most of the cookin’ around here. I’ve learned a thing or two from him myself.” Nellie looked at Andy with pure love, and he blew her a kiss across the table. They had a good time talking about Josh, and April learned a little more about Juliana. They made it clear that Juliana was a favorite of theirs.

  “Josh has found himself a good wife,” Andy said with a grin. “They had a few battles to work out, but once they did, nothing could’ve kept them apart. Juliana is totally devoted to your brother.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. True love is hard to find or keep.” April set her water glass down and smoothed the tablecloth with her hand.

  Nellie frowned with a questioning look. “I should think you’d have the men eating out of your hand. How many beaus do you have? I’ll wager a few, no doubt.” Nellie beamed, leaning toward April as though she was about to be let in on a secret.

  April laughed. “Hardly. I don’t have a beau at the present time.” Nellie’s face was full of surprise. “I find it very hard to believe that there isn’t a man in Colorado waiting to snatch you up!”

  “No, really.” April shook her head. “There isn’t.”

  “What about Wes? I heard him talking to Earl at Power Mercantile the other day and thought maybe you two were courting.”

  April drew in a sharp breath. “He did? Well, that was wishful thinking. I’m not sure we could ever get along. He’s hotheaded, you know.”

  Andy roared with laughter. “He said the same thing about you.”

  “He did, did he?” April arched an eyebrow. “What else did he say?”

  Andy’s eyes twinkled. “Just that he thinks you’re the best thing that’s happened to him since he got Dakota, and that’s saying something. Hard to get between a man and his horse.”

  The rest of lunch was pleasant, but April couldn’t stop thinking about what Andy had said. Had Wes really talked about courting her? It made her pulse quicken.

  Afterward, Andy and Nellie showed April around the ranch and their adjoining living quarters, which were connected to the main house by a passageway. It pleased April that Josh would provide them a place to live. It was just like her brother to be mindful of others’ needs. Unlike me . . . I’m just now learning to think that way.

  By the time April rode away on Sassy, she knew she had made good friends in Nellie and Andy. The kind she could always count on.

  The sun burned high in the cerulean sky now dotted with a few fluffy clouds, and the heat began to build again. April stopped her horse in the wide-open field to watch a magnificent eagle soar effortlessly, the updraft of the wind carrying it on its flight. The sight made her hold her breath as it dipped down for its prey and plucked a rodent from the ground in its long talons, then flapped its wings and flew away. She could hear Big Spring Creek gurgling downstream past the deadfall, where she had stopped once before.

  The wind had ceased along with the clouds, giving way to a warm afternoon. She hoped this pristine land with its wildlife would still be this beautiful when she had grandchildren. Ha! That’s funny . . . you have to be married first to have children before you have grandchildren, she chided herself.

  She had nothing but time today, and Miss Margaret’s words about going to talk to Wes and hearing him out echoed in her mind. Besides, she had the rose dress in her saddlebag to return to him. April’s insides began to quiver at the thought of just dropping in on Wes. What would he think? Would he tell her to leave, or would he want to tal
k to her? He’ll probably be gone or out riding or training a horse anyway. But I guess I could go by.

  When April arrived at the Rusty Spur, Wes was standing next to the water pump by the barn, shirtless, his muscular tanned chest wet with perspiration as he drank water from a metal cup. His damp, sandy brown hair clung to his head just above the neckline, and his jeans and boots were covered with dirt and grime. His long, lean torso was without an ounce of extra flesh, and his muscles rippled when he moved his arms.

  April stopped Sassy at the edge of the yard and crossed her arms over the saddle horn as she watched him. She had a funny feeling in her stomach, seeing him without his shirt. I shouldn’t be looking . . . But April couldn’t help herself. Wes was unaware that she was there, and he stared up at the roof of his house, hammer in hand. What was he looking at? April’s eyes traveled upward and saw a stack of shingles on top of the sloped roof. He must have been patching the roof, which would explain why he was sweaty.

  April slid off Sassy’s back, still holding the reins, and started over to where Wes stood. A snort from Sassy caused him to turn around. She couldn’t tell from his expression what he might be thinking. His jaw was set in a hard line, and his eyes narrowed when they locked with hers.

  “April.” He nodded a greeting. “What brings you all the way out here?”

  She stopped a couple of feet away from him and tried not to stare at the place where his waistline met the top of his jeans loosely cinched. She leveled a gaze at him directly. “I . . . rode over to Josh’s place and wanted to drop this by.” She moved to the saddlebags on Sassy’s haunches and pulled out the dress wrapped in paper. “I wanted to thank you for lending it to me.” As she held it out to him, their fingers touched. April drew her hand back. His touch had caused a stirring in her heart, and her mind became befuddled. She didn’t know what else to say, but he needed to put his shirt back on. Now that she was closer, she could see streaks of dirt on his tanned face and arms.

  An uncomfortable silence ensued while they stood eyeing each other. His lids were heavy over his normally bright hazel eyes. From hard work, or lack of sleep?

  Wes laid his hammer down next to a stack of shingles and put the dress aside, then cleared his throat to utter, “You’re welcome.” He turned back, washing his hands with a bar of soap as though she wasn’t still standing there.

  April felt dismissed. “Is that all you can say?” She took a step closer to him, staring at his back with her hands on her hips. Phew! She could smell his perspiration now.

  He snapped back up and gave her a blunt stare. “What else is there to say?”

  “I don’t know. How about ‘hello’ for starters?” She glanced down at her boot and dragged the toe through the dirt.

  “Why? I’d just be wasting my time, now wouldn’t I? I’m about to wash up and put away my tools for the day,” he said in a clipped tone.

  April opened her mouth to protest but said instead, “Good idea, I can smell you from here. You’re about as popular as a wet dog at a parlor social.” She let out a tiny giggle. His mouth twitched, and she knew he struggled to keep from smiling at her comment.

  “Humph! Then it’s a good thing I don’t have any intention of that this evening.” He continued to lather the soap and wash his face, then he looked up. “I guess it’s my turn to smell, huh?” His eyes twinkled.

  She took a step closer, watching as soap suds slid down his face and neck, creating streaks down his back. His muscular back . . . the back she longed to touch. He sure was a sight for sore eyes!

  “Let me help you,” she whispered, surprising herself.

  Wes blinked. “What?” His brows became two angled peaks that jutted upward in surprise.

  April firmly took the soap from his hands, telling him to lean over the water pump. He obeyed, and she pumped the cool well water over the soap and began to lather his hair, gently massaging his head. Her fingers moved across his scalp with ease, then moved down to rub his neck and shoulders.

  Wes expelled a deep sigh, closing his eyes to her gentle massage. Never had a head washing felt so good. Just as he was beginning to feel content, April shoved his head sideways under the spigot and pumped the handle up and down, rapidly covering his face and head with water. Wes gasped for air. “Mercy, woman! Are you trying to drown me?” He straightened up fast, cut her a hard look, then lunged to grab her by the wrists.

  Her jaw dropped in surprise, and she squirmed against him, but it was no use. “It’s just payback, Wes, for what you did to me when I barely knew you!” She continued to fight against his strong handhold.

  “Well, you wicked little tease . . .” Wes yanked her close to him and kissed her soundly on the mouth, then released her none too gently. She staggered back in surprise. “You deserve a spanking instead of a kiss.” Well, now I’ve done it . . . I’ve made her mad.

  What would he do when she left? Same old thing as before. Nothing . . . just emptiness with no one to share his dreams or his bed.

  April stood there, her mouth open, breathing raggedly. She touched her fingers to her lips but was silent, her eyes full of emotion. He could get lost in her beautiful eyes.

  With his hair still dripping water down his chest and back, Wes reached for her, but she lifted a towel that was draped over the pump’s side and handed it to him. He took it, his eyes never leaving hers. “I really wouldn’t spank you, but you sure can infuriate a man and make him consider the possibility,” he said huskily, wiping his face and chest, then rubbing the towel through his hair. “About our conversation last night . . . can we talk about it? Will you let me explain?” He watched her face for a reaction and saw her face soften, and the sweet curve of her lips made him optimistic.

  “Wes,” she said quietly, “I really came here to apologize. The dress was just an excuse. I have a bad habit of having the last word and then acting like a spoiled little girl, or so I’ve been told. I’d like to talk, if you want to . . .” Her voice trailed off, and her eyes skittered away to look beyond the barn.

  His breath caught. Wes could feel joy coursing through him straight up to his heart. Maybe there was a little ray of hope for them. He wouldn’t push his luck. “I’ll finish up here. How about staying for supper? I was going to fry a steak and panfry some potatoes. You like steak, don’t you?”

  Sassy pawed the ground and tossed her head to get their attention. They both laughed. “I’m a cattleman’s daughter, remember? Of course I like steak.” She picked up Sassy’s reins. “I need to take her saddle off and give her some water, Wes. I hadn’t planned on being out late.”

  “If you’d rather do it another time—”

  April gave him an encouraging smile. “No. Tonight is fine and I’m hungry. And I’ll get to test out your cookin’.”

  “You won’t be disappointed. Let’s get Sassy settled with some water and oats and corral her with the rest of my horses, and then I’ll get started on supper.”

  He moved to lead Sassy to the corral, but April touched his arm. “Wes, could you please put your shirt back on? It’s hard to take you seriously without your shirt and your hair all sticking straight up!”

  Her smile said more than her words, and Wes felt his heart lift. Maybe I’m not as homely as I thought. He whistled a tune as he led Sassy to the corral.

  24

  Together April and Wes stacked the empty plates in the sink while he poured hot water from the teakettle over them to soak. “Don’t you want to wash them now?” April asked.

  “No,” he said, laying down the dish towel and taking her hands in his, “I can do this later. It’ll give me something to take my mind off you.” His eyes strayed to her face.

  “The steak was delicious. I’m afraid that by splitting it between us, you didn’t have enough to eat.” April smiled back at him. “I think you’re a man with a big appetite, in more ways than one,” she teased.

  “I’ll live off your smiles,” he said, lifting her hands to kiss her fingertips. “That’ll be enough for me. How
about we go sit on the porch before you have to get on back to the boardinghouse?”

  “I’d say that’s a good idea. It’s a beautiful night.” They passed through the living room and out the front door to the porch. April took a seat in a rocker, and Wes sat next to her. She’d been surprised at how fast he whipped up their meal with all the deftness of a chef. She asked him how he learned to cook like that.

  “When my mom died, cooking duties fell to me. So did a whole lot of other chores.”

  Something about the way he answered made her think he’d had a miserable childhood. Without his cowboy hat, his face looked more vulnerable and younger somehow. She controlled the urge to soothe the crease in his forehead, not wanting to interrupt his thoughts.

  Wes continued as she rocked back and forth, causing the floorboards to squeak. “The truth is, my father was an alcoholic, but he tried to keep it hidden so most people didn’t know. He was lazy and left most of the hard work for me. I worked from sunup to sundown, but I learned to cook mostly out of necessity. Then I began to actually like cooking.” He stretched his long legs out in front of him, leaned back in his chair, and turned to look at her while he talked. His face was serious, and his eyes showed deep emotion as he recalled his childhood. His hands curled around the arms of the rocking chair, and April noticed them again. Nice, capable hands.

  “Was he ever mean to you?” April dared to ask.

  “Only verbally, but I don’t blame him. I forgave him a long time ago before he died. And since we’re talking about it, I want to tell you the night you saw me at the saloon—you’re right, I did go in, and that wasn’t my first time.” Wes paused and took a deep breath.

  April could feel her pulse speed up. Was he going to confess something she didn’t want to hear?

  “I used to go there a lot before I asked God into my life, but I’ve changed. That particular night after you left my place, I was so lonely, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to go have a drink to get you off my mind. Something changed the minute I was inside. It was like everything suddenly became clear to me—how uncomfortable I was—and I knew I’d left that life behind.” Wes reached over and picked up April’s hand, rubbing her palm with his thumb. “You must believe me. I’m not like my father. I left when the bartender brought me my drink, but you weren’t there to see that. There’s not another woman in my life and hasn’t really ever been, until you.”