In My Father's Shadow

by JL Paul

  “You going to the gig next weekend, Al?” Cole asked, bumping her back with his elbow.

  “I hope so,” she said, waving the air in front of her, making Cole chuckle. “I have to call my dad first, but I’m sure he won’t mind. Are you playing at the same hotel you did last time?”

  “Yep,” RJ said, lighting up a cigarette. He handed one to Jamie and Ally groaned.

  “Don’t get him started on all your nasty habits,” she chastised. “He is an athlete.”

  Cole rolled to his side so he could place his mouth close to her ear. “Don’t mother him.” She jumped and he fell to his back in laughter.

  “I’m not mothering him,” she said indignantly, crossing her legs, one foot jiggling furiously. Her arms automatically folded across her chest – a sure sign she was working herself up to an angry Ally outburst.

  “Don’t get all upset, Ally,” Jamie said in a gentle voice. “You know I don’t really smoke – just once in a great while.”

  “Well it’s a disgusting, nasty habit and I don’t know why any of you boys do it in the first place,” she huffed.

  “Yeah, yeah, we know,” Cole said, interrupting her before she could hit her stride and launch into a full-blown tirade on the evils of smoking cigarettes. They’d all heard it plenty of times before and he wasn’t in the mood for it that night.

  “When are our dads going on tour again?” Ren asked.

  Cole took a long drag off his cigarette before tossing it to the ground. He sat up and placed a foot on either side of Ally, smirk widening at her obvious reaction. “Two weeks from Monday, I think.”

  “I wish we could go with them,” Jamie said as he crushed his partially smoked cigarette out on the sole of his shoe. “We used to have so much fun.”

  “Yeah, me too,” RJ added. “Those were the best of times.”

  Cole smiled in the dark, remembering the things the four of them would do when they were lucky enough to get to go on tour with the band. He toyed absently with a strand of Ally’s hair as he dazed off, recalling the first time he’d been allowed to go with his dad.

  “Why won’t you let him come with me, Audrey?” Nate pleaded as Cole scampered off to his room to unpack after a weekend with his father. He’d been surprised when his dad had walked him into the house and a little nervous when Nate said he just needed to speak to Audrey for a moment.

  He kept his door open a crack and listened carefully to their conversation.

  “He’s just a little kid, Nate,” Audrey said. “He doesn’t need to go on tour with a rock band.”

  “The other guys are taking their kids. Cole will have fun – he’s friends with Ally and RJ and Jamie – they’re all pretty tight. I hate for him to miss this opportunity.”

  “Who’s going to keep an eye on him while you’re on stage?” she challenged.

  “Liz, Callie, and Gretchen are going and they plan to take turns watching the kids when we go onstage.”

  “You’ll be gone for three months,” she exclaimed, digging for excuses. Cole could hear them stomping through the living room and was a bit ashamed, knowing his father could see how dirty their house was – Cole’s mom was usually too tired to cook or clean.

  “Damn it, Audrey, I pay you enough money every month – why don’t you hire a maid? You expect my son to live like this?”

  “Don’t tell me how to keep my house!”

  Cole leaned against the wall, ears perked, wishing they’d stop fighting about the house and get back to the tour. He wanted to go with his dad so badly but he knew if he kept arguing with his mom, she’d say no just to be mean.

  “Listen,” Nate said again, softly. “Let me take him for awhile. You’ll get a break and you can have some time to yourself. It’s summer – you can hang out at the beach or go away with your boyfriend or whatever.”

  “Are you taking shots at him now?”

  Nate groaned. “No. I just thought you’d like some time for yourself.”

  “You really want to take him for three months?” she asked, incredulous, and Cole thought she might be weakening. “What about school?”

  “I’ll have him back in time for school,” Nate promised. “Unless you let me hire a tutor.”

  “I can hire a damn tutor if I want one,” Audrey shouted. “Quit flaunting your money.”

  Nate lowered his voice. “I’m not flaunting anything. I just want what’s best for my son.”

  “And taking him on the road is what’s best? Watching you and your friends get drunk every night?”

  “We don’t do that kind of thing and even if we did, do you think we’d do it in front of kids? No, Audrey – we don’t roll that way.”

  “Whatever, Nate.” Cole could hear her slamming stuff in the sink. “You’ll regret taking him, you know. He can get demanding and whiny. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and he’s on the sofa watching television.”

  “He doesn’t sleep well?” Nate asked.

  “I don’t know,” she answered absently.

  “What do you mean you don’t know?” Nate demanded. “Do you ever ask him what’s wrong? Why can’t he sleep?”

  “No,” she said petulantly. “I tell him to turn off the TV and go back to bed. And he does.”

  “Why don’t you ask him if there’s a problem, huh? Maybe he has something on his mind or maybe he’s worried about school.”

  “And you’re so perfect,” she shot back. “You think you can just buy him whatever he wants and now he wants to live with you instead of his own mother!”

  “I don’t buy him everything, Audrey,” Nate said and Cole could tell by his father’s voice that his patience was wearing thin. “He wants to live with me because I enjoy spending time with him. We do things together. I don’t park him in front of the TV or the video games and run off to do whatever I want.”

  “You think you’re so perfect.”

  “No, I don’t.” Cole could hear Nate pacing. “Look, Audrey, I’ll give you more support, hell you can have everything I own! Just let me have my son.”

  “Take him,” she screamed. “Just take him! But if you’re late bringing him back, I’m taking you back to court!”

  “Fine,” Nate said firmly. “And maybe this time I’ll get custody.”

  Cole inched away from the wall and jumped on his bed when he heard his father’s footsteps in the hall. Nate pushed the door open and smiled at his son. “Let’s get you packed, buddy. You’re coming with me.”

  Cole leapt off the bed and into his father’s waiting arms. He couldn’t believe he was actually going! Three whole months with his dad!

  “You still with us, Cole?” Ally asked, dragging him out of his memories.

  “Yeah,” he said, scooting back to light another cigarette - the ugly, hateful words of his parents still ringing in his ears. “So, are you calling your dad or what?”

  “My cell’s dead,” she frowned as she stood and turned to face him, holding out a hand. “Give me yours.”

  He dug his phone out of his pocket and handed it to her. “His number’s on there somewhere.”

  Nodding, she stepped away from them, punching her father’s cell number into his phone. She pressed the phone to one ear and stuck a finger in the other in order to hear her father better.

  “Is anyone else going?” Ren asked as he watched Ally gesture and stomp her foot. He frowned and turned to Cole. “It’s looking like Ally might not be going.”

  Cole followed Ally’s movements with his eyes and noticed her tense shoulders and wild gesticulation. He was pretty sure Jay would allow her to leave for the weekend – he had let her last year when they’d played at the same hotel – but it appeared as if she was arguing or pleading with him. His heart gave a sudden lurch – it would suck if Ally couldn’t be there.

  “Uncle Jay will let her go,” Jamie said with a shrug. “He always does – especially if it’s with us.”

  “In case you haven’t noticed lately,” Cole said, lifting a brow. “She’s a gi
rl and we’re guys.”

  “So?” RJ said. “It’s not like any of us think of her in that way. Hell, we’ve been friends practically since birth.”

  Cole opened his mouth to make a point, but he instantly forgot what the point was. All he could focus on was RJ’s words – how none of them thought of Ally in ‘that way.’ Was that true? Probably for Jamie since he was her cousin and more than likely with RJ, but what about him? Was he starting to think of her in ‘that way?’

  He shook the thoughts out of his head. He didn’t want to think about any of that in any way at the moment. He only wanted to concentrate on school and his band, that’s all. He’d made a solid vow to himself at the end of summer to focus on making a go of the band and if that meant going dateless to the bonfires or skipping a couple dances, that was hardly a sacrifice. He didn’t want a girlfriend to distract him from his goals, wrapping him in all sorts of drama and mindless, trivial things. He wanted to make his band successful from hard work and not any help from his father. That was going to take all his concentration and spare time. His love life could wait.

  Ally strode back to the picnic table and thrust his phone in his hands. He took it warily and tucked it into his jacket pocket as his eyes narrowed on her. “Is there a problem, princess?”

  She unleashed the full force of her angry eyes on him. “Do not call me that.” She plopped back on the bench and resumed her earlier tense position, her foot bouncing a mile a minute.

  “So, you going or what?” Cole asked.

  “Yeah,” she said. “But he wants me to invite Jeana. He said I should include her more often and all that garbage. I think he thinks she’ll make me more girly or something.”

  Cole smirked. “Of course he does, princess.”

  She punched his arm. “Can one of you drive me and my brother home next weekend? My car is done and I want to see my parents before they leave for tour,” she asked.

  “I think we’re all planning on going home,” RJ answered. “You can catch a ride with one of us.”

  “Thanks,” she said, tension beginning to leave her body.

  Cole stretched, brushing his arm across the back of her neck, causing her to shiver. “Cold, princess?” he asked.

  “No,” she said, not sparing him a look. He chuckled as he took off his jacket, pulled the cigarette pack from the pocket, and placed the jacket on her shoulders.

  “Thanks,” she mumbled as she pushed her arms through the too long sleeves. “So, do you think I should invite Jeana?”

  “I don’t see why not,” Cole said as he dropped from the table top to the bench next to her.

  Ally shrugged. “My dad asked me if I invited her.”

  “She can come,” RJ said. “I’ll ask her tomorrow.”

  Ally shook her head. “I’ll ask her when I go to my room.” She pushed back the sleeve of Cole’s jacket and checked the time. “Which I guess I’ll get to now. It’s nearly ten.”

  Cole jumped off the table. “I’ll walk you back.”

  “You don’t have to,” she protested, heart hammering in her chest.

  He slung an arm over her shoulders. “I do if I want my jacket back.”

  She narrowed her eyes and tried to shake his arm off her shoulders but he merely held tighter. “I can give you your jacket now, Cole.”

  He peered in her face curiously. “No, Al, keep it on.” He slipped his arm off her shoulders to tug on the too-long sleeve. “I don’t mind walking you.”

  They waved at the others and took off into the dark, the soles of their shoes thumping on the sidewalk and echoing in the night. Crickets called out to each other, warning the other creatures that winter was coming soon – better prepare.

  They were silent for the better part of the trip until the dorm buildings came into sight, the brick structures rising eerily in the night.

  “Al, if I make you uncomfortable, I really wish you’d tell me,” he said, his voice low.

  She wrapped her arms around her waist and shook her head. “Not at all. It’s just me, Cole.”

  Stopping, he moved in front of her, his body blocking her progress. “Don’t lie to me. We’ve been friends for a long time and if something’s bugging you – something I did – I want to know.” He studied her face, bending to catch her downcast eyes. “Is this about the stuff we talked about before?”

  “No,” she denied hotly, pulling out of his grasp. “No. I’m over all that. It’s nothing, Cole. Let’s go. It almost ten and if you get caught out after curfew, you won’t be able to play your gig.”

  He resumed walking, slowing his stride for her. “Whatever, Al.” He pulled his cigarettes out of his back pocket and lit one up. He knew she hated it when he smoked and he desperately wanted to irritate her. She walked quicker and reached the girls’ dorm before him.

  She peeled off his jacket and thrust it at him. “Thanks,” she said breathlessly. “See you tomorrow.”

  He tossed his cigarette away and snagged her arm, causing her to crash into his body. He smirked a little then pressed his lips to her cheek. “Night, Al.”

  He spun on his heel and walked away, grinning like mad, knowing she was still standing there, stunned, her hand lifted to her face.

  Chapter Four

  Monday morning, Ally dropped her tray unceremoniously on the table in her usual spot next to Jamie, causing all three boys to jump.

  “PMSing?” RJ asked, amusement sparkling in his hazel eyes.

  She flashed a finger at him, making him laugh. “No. I wish it was PMS.”

  Cole, his fork frozen between his tray and his mouth, raised a brow at Jamie. “It must be serious if she prefers bloating and cramps.”

  Ally sighed heavily and shook her head in pity. “You really are too feminine, Cole, did you know?”

  Jamie and RJ laughed as Cole rolled his eyes, setting his fork aside. “Okay, so what are you all in a tizzy about now?”

  “My roommate,” she huffed. She crossed her legs and wiggled her foot erratically.

  “Who just so happens to be your cousin,” Jamie informed her.

  “Thanks for that reminder,” she said sarcastically, shooting him a dark look. “Why can’t she be more like you?”

  Jamie shrugged and winked. “I’m one of a kind, babe.”

  Ally sighed again and uncrossed her legs. She shoved her tray aside as she slid her arms on the table. “I asked her last night if she wanted to come this weekend and she totally blew up at me!”

  Cole finished his orange juice and set the glass on his nearly empty tray. Tilting his head, he lifted a brow. “Why? What did you say exactly to set her off?”

  Her eyes grew round as the sun as she straightened, totally ruffled. “I didn’t say anything to set her off,” she claimed, her voice rising. Her cheeks colored as several heads turned her way. She slumped forward and tossed her ponytail over her shoulder. “She said I was totally throwing it in her face that my dad’s in a band and can afford for me to rent a hotel room any time I want while her dad has to actually work for a living.” She shook her head and set her lips. “Where did that come from?”

  RJ groaned and crammed a piece of toast in his mouth. “Jeez. I hate it when she gets that way,” he said, spraying bread crumbs. He quickly swallowed. “Does she actually think our dads had it so easy?”

  “She’s jealous, Al,” Cole said. He picked up his fork and speared a sausage link. “You know your Uncle Ethan would let her go in a heartbeat.”

  “And it’s not like they’re in the poorhouse, either.” Ally picked up her own fork but dropped it back to the tray. “She always makes me feel so guilty because of what my dad does.”

  Jamie nudged her with his shoulder. “Don’t let her get to you. At least you asked.”

  Cole’s cell phone rang and he answered it, mouth full of sausage. Ally shot him a dirty look but he just winked, sending her heart in a nosedive. “Hey, Dad, what’s up?”

  “Hi, Nate,” Ally shouted.

  “He said ‘hi big mouth�
��,” Cole repeated, a smirk toying with his lips. He listened, mumbling answers, as the others gathered their trays to deposit near the kitchen.

  Tossing her book bag over her shoulder, Ally jogged to catch up to him as he snapped his phone shut and shoved it in his pocket. She touched his arm to get his attention and her heart started acting up again when he looked down at her with a soft smile. “Um, what’s up with Nate?”

  “He wanted to know when we were playing,” Cole said, raking his dark hair off his forehead. “I know he really wanted to come to this gig but he has to fly to LA with your dad this weekend and he won’t be able to make it.”

  Ally took his hand, squeezed it, and ignored the flutter in her stomach when he squeezed back. “I’m sorry, Cole.”

  He smiled again, taking her breath away. “It’s ok, Al. He comes to see me every chance he gets. I don’t mind if he misses one or two gigs.” She shifted her heavy book bag and he released her hand to grab the bag from her. Her heart melted at his chivalry. “Damn, Al! What do you have in here?”

  “Just a couple extra books I need for Chem today.” She spotted the dreaded Jennifer Mansfeld wending her way through the crowd, working her way toward them. Snatching her bag from Cole, she rolled her eyes. “Here comes your buddy. I’ll catch you later.”

  Ally jogged the rest of the way to her English class, slipped through the room and slammed her bag on her desk.

  “What’s the problem,” Jamie asked, alarmed. They shared three classes and Ally was grateful English was one of them.

  “Jennifer Mansfeld is so fake and nasty,” she grumbled as she dropped into her chair, dug through her bag, and flipped open her textbook. She whipped through the pages fiercely, luckily not ripping any. “Oh, she gets on my nerves.”

  Jamie smirked. “She just wants Cole to take her to the Fall Festival Dance.”

  Ally groaned. “Well, tell him to take her, please! At least then I’ll know she’s always with him and I can avoid her better.” She shuddered as if to illustrate her point.