by Tiana Grover
I went to my position behind the Polo Ralph Lauren counter in the men’s department. Since there were no customers, I pulled out my phone and started to research the different technology companies listed in Dallas. The city had so many opportunities for my major, and while the D.C., Maryland, Virginia area was closer, I was starting to think that the further I could get away from Pittsburgh and all of the heartbreak I’d had here, the better.
“Can you put your phone down and help me please?”
I took a deep breath before I even looked up. I knew who that voice belonged to. Standing in front of me with her hand on her hip was Chloe.
I didn’t speak a word to her as I took the Polo shirts out of her hand. Upon ringing them up, I noticed they were all Prince’s size. Was he back to fucking with her? My stomach sank at the possibility.
I bagged them up as she ice grilled me, still not saying a word to her. I refused to give this bitch the satisfaction of knowing just how much her presence bothered me. I gave her the total and waited impatiently for her payment.
“I ain’t never seen you in this one, and I come down here all the time,” Chloe said before handing me a bankcard. “I guess you gotta work now though, since Prince ain’t taking care of you no more.”
So she knew we weren’t together. For some reason, even though Prince had cheated on me multiple times and gotten another woman pregnant, I wanted to believe in my heart of hearts that he wasn’t fucking Chloe anymore. That would kill me. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Chloe was close with Red; she could have easily found out we were broken up from her.
“I’m not you,” I said simply as I handed her the debit card back with a receipt. “Prince has never taken care of me. I’ve always worked.”
“Is that right?” she responded with a smirk. “Well what you think about these shirts? Think he’ll like them?”
She was purposely trying to start with me. I don’t know why when I had already beat her ass. Once again, I refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing just how much her words bothered me. “Ask him. Do you need anything else?”
“Yeah, just one more thing…I need you to understand that Prince is my man now.” With a devilish grin, she showed me her left hand. On her ring finger, bright as day, was my engagement ring I’d left on the nightstand when I left him for good.
The shock on my face must have made her feel good because she went on. “You know what they say, right college girl? If you love something, let it go. If it comes back it was yours, if it don’t you’ll never know. I knew Prince would come back to me. It was only a matter of time. Your stuck up ass could never keep him happy like I could.”
I pictured myself jumping over the counter and beating this simple broad senseless, again, but what good would that really do? I would lose my job for jumping on a customer and besides, beating her ass wouldn’t change the fact that Prince was indeed with her again and had given her my engagement ring. I was starting to think that he never loved me. He couldn’t have; if he did, there was no way he could’ve cheated on me constantly, made a baby on me, and given this bitch my ring. I believed that I had no idea who he was anymore.
Still, I would never let this hoe walk around like she got the best of me over my reaction to that ring. So once again, I decided I would have to kill her with my words.
I gave a fake round of applause. “So what, are you happy because he gave you my ring? Read the inside, sweetheart. It has Always My Honey inscribed in it. Honey is what he calls me, and you wanna know why? Because I taste sweeter than honey to him.”
“See, what you fail to realize is that a simple broad like you could never be me on my worst day. I don’t have to share my man, and I damn sure don’t take anyone’s leftovers. Prince dealt with you for years and never made you his woman. The only reason he would do so now is because I don’t want his ass anymore. Even then, he gave you something that once belonged to me,” I snickered. “Shows how much he thinks about you. If you sleeping in his house, its on a bed that I made him buy me. If you sitting on his couch, it’s a couch I made him buy me. If you cooking him a meal, it’s with the pots and pans that I made him buy me. Even when you fucking him, you riding a dick that will always belong to me. All I gotta do is say the word and you’re back to sideline hoe status, and we both know it,” I chuckled as more customers walked into the department. “You’re pathetic and I feel sorry for you because you will never fully have what belongs to me. He will never be yours cause you have no idea what it takes to keep him. I mean look at you, in here buying him Polo shit off the sales rack. You can’t even shop for him right.”
She opened her mouth but I shut it down again.
“I suggest you get the hell up outta here and out my face before I call my man and tell him I’m ready to come home and work shit out.” The look that crossed her face let me know that she was worried about that very thing happening everyday that she was with him. And that was enough for me. I shooed her with my hands as if she were a child as a customer approached the counter. “Go on now.”
She walked away but not before glaring at me with eyes glittering with hatred.
I laughed at her and helped my customer.
Even though Chloe was a joke to me, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and Prince together. I put on a good front for her, but I couldn’t lie to myself. I was beyond hurt that he would even go back to dealing with her. It was just one more thing that piled on top of all the pain he had had caused me.
I was beginning to wonder if this hurt would ever go away.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Should I stay? Should I go? I don’t know”
Mya “Best Of Me Remix” ft. Jay Z
Bree
I had been home, drinking as usual, when I heard two cars pull up in front of my house. I walked over to my living room window and recognized Prince’s Denali and Maria’s Jeep Cherokee right away. What I didn’t understand was why they were pulling up in front of my house together.
I hadn’t seen Maria since the day she went to tell Prince she was pregnant. She’d never come back for any of her things, which were still packed and waiting for her by the front door. I had no intentions on letting her stay in this house, even though there was no way I could afford it without her. I didn’t care. I would rather struggle in this bitch than watch her stomach grow with my man’s child.
Speaking of my man, I still had not spoken to Prince. It bothered me more that I hadn’t spoken to him than Maria. I didn’t understand why he had to repay me the way that he did. I had done nothing but love him through thick and thin. I helped him keep his name clear. I deserved more than this. I deserved an explanation as to why he did me like this. I was going crazy, not being able to talk to him.
I drove past his house or sometimes just sat outside of it. Each time I saw him, I considered approaching him but I knew him well enough to know that a public confrontation would not help matters between us. So I wound up saying nothing and just watching him. I hoped he would answer my phone calls or one of my many text messages to discuss things but he wouldn’t. So to see him with Maria now was enough to drive me insane.
I watched as he opened her door and helped her out the truck. He had a gentle way with her that made my heart fill with envy. I wanted him to be the same way with me.
I watched as she stroked his face and pulled him close to her. Then to my complete surprise, they started kissing right there on the street for the world to see. That did it! I couldn’t just sit and watch anymore. I threw on my shoes and went to my front door. I was ready to confront both of their ungrateful asses.
I flung my door open to just as Maria held her key in her hand. Prince was behind her with both of his hands filled with bags. They moved right past me like they didn’t see me standing there.
I watched as Maria showed Prince where the extra bedroom was upstairs. He went off to drop the bags off. Then Maria finally turned to face me.
“Bree, you look like shit,” she said flatly.
She was probably telling the truth. I had overslept so I missed my hair appointment, my long T-shirt had food stains all over it and I held a bottle of Patron in my hand.
I looked her over and wished I could say the same for her but I couldn’t. Her hair looked thick and shiny as it fell to the middle of her back, her skin glowed and her eyes were bright. She was the true definition of pregnant and glowing. She was gorgeous.
“Why are you here?” I asked her as I swigged from my bottle.
She looked at me in disgust and rubbed her stomach. “My son will be here in three months, Bree. It’s time for me to get ready for him.”
“You ain’t gonna do that shit here!” I snapped. “I told you that your lying ass can’t stay here with me!”
“Whatever,” Maria waved her hand at me. “This is my fucking house, Bree. Let’s be real. If I left you here to handle everything alone, the bank would foreclose on this place and you know it. I’m not about to have you ruining my shit. This house is big enough for the both of us and my son. If you don’t like it, you can leave cause you best believe I ain’t going no fucking where.”
“I ain’t letting your lying ass stay nowhere near me!”
“Chill with all the yelling.” Prince had come back downstairs. He stood in front of Maria and glared at me.
“That’s her Prince, telling me I can’t stay here. I pay the mortgage every month, a mortgage she could never afford on her own with her paycheck,” Maria snipped while glaring at me.
It was Prince’s turn to look at her now. “Yo Maria, chill with that. Let me talk to Bree alone for a minute. Start putting some of the baby’s shit in the closet. They gone be here with his crib and shit in about a hour.”
Maria looked like she wanted to protest but Prince gave her a look that said he meant business. Her gaze softened as she stared at him, then she walked upstairs.
I looked at Prince, standing there so handsome and started to cry before I could stop myself. “Why Prince? Why did you get her pregnant?”
To my surprise, Prince pulled me in a bear hug and allowed me to shed tears all over his hoodie. His chin rested on my hair and he rubbed my back. “Bree, I’m sorry. I’m a selfish nigga. I fucked up in a lot of ways, but one of the worst things I could have done was take you for granted. I never meant to hurt you like this. You ain’t did shit but look out for me over the years and I know right now it feels like I shitted on you.”
I nodded because that’s exactly how it felt.
“If I could take this shit back, I would. You know I never wanted to hurt you. But I can’t. Maria is having my son, and that’s what it is. I am always gone be here for her and my child. I can’t have you cutting up every time I come around,” He backed away and tilted my chin up so he could look me in my face. “After all, you are the one that introduced her to me right?”
I shook my head at the thought. That’s what bothered me most about the whole situation. I had brought Maria into his life.
“I would have never thought you were married to a woman, just like you never knew I had a woman. We both weren’t honest with each other. I lost my woman over this,” For one second, the saddest look came over his face. “I don’t know if y’all are gonna work this shit out or not, but if you love her, you gotta try.”
I decided to throw caution to the wind and tell him how I really felt. “I love you Prince. Why can’t we try to work it out?”
He was shaking his head before I even got my sentence out. “I can’t work anything out with anyone right now Bree. I don’t want anyone but my woman. She has my heart. I love her. That’s who I want to be with. You always been a good friend to me though and I didn’t want to end our friendship on a bad note.” He squeezed me tight one more time, then pulled away from me.
“So that’s all I am to you Prince? A friend?”
He smiled as he pulled a pack of Swishers from his hoodie pocket. “One of my best friends, Bree. It’s because of you I’m a free man. I haven’t always treated you right but I don’t want you to hate me. I know that’s probably hard, considering our situation right now, but I just thought I’d let you know how I felt about this. I don’t want you to hate me,” he repeated.
I followed him to the kitchen as he dumped the guts in my garbage. Prince walked around my house as if he had been here before. As I watched him roll his blunt, I thought about everything he’d just said to me. At the end of the day, I could only be but so mad at him. I had started dealing with him on the side. He’d known I was married and never complained about it. Our thing had been good, but never serious. Was it his fault that I had caught feelings along the way?
Plus he was right; I had introduced him to Maria. I invited her to lay down in bed with us, then got mad when she got up pregnant. Still it was easier for me to forgive him than her. He seemed remorseful; she seemed vengeful, like she was glad this pregnancy was hurting me the way that it was.
Then seeing the way she had kissed him, I didn’t know if I could keep Maria in my life. She wanted Prince, knowing that I loved him. She was having his baby, knowing that it was killing me for her to do so. Now I was supposed to just live under the same roof as them like everything was cool? I didn’t know if I could do that.
Just like I didn’t know if I could remain friends with Prince, loving him the way that I did. I would always want more.
I was truly confused and when Maria walked back downstairs, I was even more confused. I hit Prince’s blunt then handed it back to him. Maria looked me over but didn’t say a word to me as she walked into the kitchen. Instantly, she started to laugh and joke with Prince. That made my blood boil.
I knew I would have to do something and fast. I didn’t want to leave my house. Hell, as mad I was at Maria, I didn’t really want to divorce her either. But at the same time, I couldn’t be in the house with her as she waited for her and Prince’s baby to arrive. I hated to see her even talk to him.
Something was gonna have to give.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“I been goin through some shit, from my niggas to my bitch”
Lil Boosie “Goin Thru Some Thangs”
Prince
I pulled up in front of Nas’ crib, mentally and emotionally exhausted. The women in my life were taking me for a ride. I could only be so upset at them though. I knew my selfish actions had caused them to act the way that they had with me.
After making sure my son’s bedroom furniture was delivered, I had gone home and turned my phone off. I didn’t want to hear from anybody else that day. Finding out I was having a son and trying to make amends with Bree, all on the same day, was exhausting. I didn’t need to speak with anybody else about anything.
I flopped down on my couch and ordered a half a hoagie and some chicken wings to be delivered. I was reminded of how much I missed coming in the crib to a home cooked meal. Once again my thoughts drifted to Sierra. They never really left her. I missed the hell out of her but after sending her countless gifts, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have the time to sit out and stalk her apartment until she decided to come out, and the one time I did do that she never emerged. I went to her school but couldn’t find her, and since she was no longer at the Macy’s in Monroeville, I had no idea where she worked. Contacting her family, who I had been so cool with before, was a no go because of what happened at Christmas.
Yet I still didn’t give up hope that she would come back to me. I usually looked at her ring every night before I went to bed; I never took it off my nightstand from where she left it. That night I was too tired to do it though. I ate and fell asleep right on my sofa.
The weeks that followed found me preparing myself to open a café next door to my Laundromat that did the biggest business. That had all been Nas’ idea. I wasn’t for it at first but when he pointed out that a lot of the people that did laundry there were in their early to mid twenties, I saw the benefits of having one there. We decided to call it Latte. He also pointed out the advantage of expanding the Laundromat
to twenty-four hours. That time I did laugh. That idea seemed absurd to me. Who the hell was washing their clothes at two o clock in the morning?
Turned out a lot of folks were. Once again, Nas had been right on the money. I was grateful for the chance to work with him. He seemed like a man I could learn from.
The only hiccup in the plan was Javon. He seemed like he was butt hurt I ain’t take him to the meeting with Nas. I didn’t want him to feel left out or slighted, but I honestly saw no reason for him to be there. I was the one putting up all the money for everything; Javon spent his as soon as he got it. My name would be on the paperwork. I would ink the deal, then go back to him and let him know what was good.
Javon didn’t see it like that. He felt like I had went behind his back and snaked him out of the deal. If he wasn’t my peoples, I would have laughed in his face. I couldn’t snake him out of shit when he didn’t have the money to put up! The fuck was wrong with him?
Besides that, lately I started to notice his behavior was a little off. He was still flashy as always, but there was something off kilter about him that I couldn’t put my finger on. I had my suspicions, but decided to reserve judgment until I had actual facts.
Nas’ lovely fiancée Mya opened the door for me. She was dressed in a black sweat suit that had Fashionable Edibles running down the sides of the legs and sparkly pink Uggs. She greeted me with a smile. “Hi Prince. Nas is down in his man cave,” she told me with a roll of her eyes.
I gave her a quick hug and went downstairs.
Nas was sitting on an oversized black leather sofa, ESPN on the screen. I looked around his man cave and nodded. He had a black pool table, a mini bar, and sports memorabilia all over the walls. It was nice as hell. I wanted something like it for myself.
“What’s good?” he greeted me, tossing me a Budweiser.
“Shit, I can’t call it,” I slapped his palm and sat down on the sofa opposite of him. “Where the kids?” I asked. Nas had twins, a boy and a girl, that were usually crawling all over him whenever I saw him.