His Plan for the Quintuplets

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

Damned if she hadn’t hit that nail right on the head. Gabe stood, too. He swallowed around the ache in his throat. “Yes.”

  “It’s also why you were so negative about me trying to have the quints on my own.”

  Knowing she wasn’t going to take this next part well—because it would take them back to a time when they hadn’t gotten along well at all—he stayed where he was, legs braced apart, arms folded in front of him. “I worried the IVF wouldn’t work out the way you hoped. And it’d be too much for you to handle if you lost all or even most of the embryos in what seemed to me at the time to be a fool’s errand. Or conversely, that you would have multiples and you’d be overwhelmed as a single mother and unable to care for them. Or maybe even just too reminded of Brett and Belinda to finish grieving properly.”

  Exhaling roughly, he scrubbed a hand across his face. “Clearly, I was wrong about all of that. You were able to carry them all to term and bring them safely into this world and care for them afterward on your own, and you—we—are very lucky to have them.”

  She glared at him resentfully. “The quintuplets aren’t a burden to you? Some responsibility you feel was thrust upon you, too?”

  The situation was bad, given how betrayed and blindsided she clearly felt, but not unsalvageable, he reassured himself firmly.

  “No,” Gabe explained patiently. “I’ve cared about the kids from the very first day I met them.”

  Clearly, she didn’t believe him.

  “Which is why,” he went on soberly, determined to give her concrete proof she needed, “I went to the trouble to set up college funds for all five of them weeks ago.”

  * * *

  Susannah stared at him, hardly able to believe what she was hearing. “You did what?” she demanded incredulously.

  “I knew how worried you were about depleting the trust before they ever got to college, so I went to Bing and I told him I wanted to take care of it for you.”

  Was there no end to the duplicity? “He never said anything!”

  Gabe regarded her steadily and continued defending his actions, as if his high-handedness behind the scenes were the most natural thing in the world. “I asked him not to. This was between him and me.”

  Susannah paced back and forth, struggling with the depth of the betrayal. “So you weren’t ever going to tell me?” she concluded unhappily.

  Gabe shrugged his broad shoulders, correcting, “No, I was going to tell you. When the time was right.”

  “Which would have been...?”

  Abruptly, he appeared to be caught in a trap of his own making. “When I thought you could accept it for the gift from the heart that it was.”

  Susannah wasn’t sure whether he was being deliberately naive or stubbornly chauvinistic. “Gabe... I can’t let you do something like this...” Not without feeling beholden. Which was the last thing she had ever wanted.

  Gabe moved closer yet again. Then let out a long, frustrated breath and continued explaining, “It’s not that much to start, Susannah, not spread out over five accounts, but I’m going to add to it every year. I’ve already put in some extra this summer from my earnings consulting at the hospital. And I’ll add more from my PWB paychecks. Plus—” he lightly cupped her shoulders, holding her in front of him when she would have bolted “—and I know we haven’t talked about this yet, but I also plan to pay my fair share of the daily living expenses for our family, too. In fact, knowing what you’ve generally budgeted, the fact you have no mortgage, I could probably handle everything.”

  “Right.” Tears pushed behind her eyes. Susannah blinked, refusing to let them fall even as her heart filled with a mixture of bittersweet resignation and longing. She searched his handsome features. “And how long do you imagine it will be before your cash-strapped state has you feeling trapped by the burden of caring for all six of us?”

  Gabe tensed. Irritation creased his brow. “I would never feel that way.”

  She stepped back and held up her arms to ward him off. “That’s what my aunt Elda thought when Belinda and I moved in with her.” Susannah drew a deep breath and spelled it out for him. “When she saw what raising two kids did to her budget, how we cramped her lifestyle, she couldn’t wait to get rid of us.”

  Gabe jammed his hands on his waist. “I’m sorry she hurt and disappointed you, Susannah, but I am not your aunt.”

  Susannah shoved her hands through her hair. “I can’t believe this,” she muttered. How could she have been so blind?

  Gabe grimaced. “So, what would make you happy?”

  Defiantly, she held her ground. “For starters? You telling me the truth! You consulting me before deciding to go off on your own and do something like this.”

  Looking as offended as she felt, he warned, “I can’t reverse the college funds, Susannah. Once they are set up, they’re meant to stay in place.”

  “Then I’ll have to find a way to pay you back for whatever you have already put in.”

  “Is this the way it’s going to be?” he challenged back, clearly bent on having his own way. “Constantly keeping score over money? Me not able to do anything nice for you and the kids on the spur of the moment without you feeling obligated to do something in return?”

  The reckless, romantic part of Susannah wanted to tell him to forget the whole argument. However, the part of her that had been devastated by not being wanted in the end knew better. “I thought I made it clear when I said yes to your proposal. I don’t want the kids and me to be a burden to you.”

  “That’s what marriage is. It’s about taking care of each other, above all else.”

  Susannah would have agreed with that, had they said they loved each other. Or been more than friends and lovers. But they weren’t...so...like it or not, she had to be practical. And force him to be so, too. “Until you can’t do it anymore, and you want to end it or, I don’t know, just stay away overseas, maybe for another five whole years again.”

  Gabe’s brow furrowed. “I wouldn’t do that to you or the kids.”

  Trying to be as gallant as he was at heart, Susannah returned miserably, “But don’t you see that you should have the option if it turns out that is what you want?”

  His jaw tautened. “What are you saying?”

  She forced herself to be generous. “That maybe we’re making a colossal mistake. I know you think you’re doing the really noble thing here, Gabe, coming to my rescue and stepping up for the kids. And maybe it feels good in the moment, because of all the fun we’ve had and the hot sex that was thrown in. But if at the end of the day you’re still just trying to work off this obligation that you were never really able to fulfill to my sister and brother-in-law...” An obligation she hadn’t known anything about until now. And still wouldn’t be aware of if she hadn’t discovered it by accident.

  Pretending her heart wasn’t breaking, she took a deep, bolstering breath. “If all we really are is just a long-neglected duty to you, then you will end up resenting us and wanting your freedom back, and then where will we all be?”

  Gabe, hurt and angry now, shook his head at her. “You really think that’s all this is?” he countered disbelievingly. “Me making good on some long-ago promise?”

  “It’s not like we ever really loved each other, Gabe,” Susannah admitted sadly. “Not like we should if we are going to be married for the rest of our lives.”

  “So, you’re saying what, Susannah?” he demanded. “You want to call the whole thing off?”

  Susannah handed him the postcard with the proof of the request that had started it all.

  “I don’t see that we have any choice,” she said heavily, forcing herself to do the right thing, even as her heart shattered into a million pieces. “Do you?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Honey, what’s wrong?” Millie said the moment Susannah walked in the front door.

  Susannah burst in
to fresh tears. “Gabe and I broke up!”

  The Smiths switched off the television and motioned for her to come and sit between them. Millie reached for a box of tissues and handed it to her. “It can’t be that bad,” she said.

  “But it is.” Susannah dabbed her eyes and blew her nose. Briefly, she explained about the postcard she’d found and the educational savings accounts Gabe had set up for the kids without her knowledge or consent. “I can’t marry him knowing we’re already such a burden to him.”

  “There are some responsibilities a man wants to take on,” Mike said gruffly.

  Millie nodded. “If I am sure of anything after watching you all this summer, it’s that he loves you and the kids.”

  “As friends.”

  “As more,” Millie insisted.

  Silence fell. Susannah worried the tissue in her hand, tearing the damp strands apart. “I couldn’t bear if he ever looked at me the way our aunt Elda used to,” she admitted. “As if Belinda and I ruined her life, coming into it the way we did.”

  “So this is really your fears keeping the two of you apart,” Millie surmised.

  Susannah ignored the ache in her throat that usually presaged a fresh bout of tears. “I want him to have a good and happy life, too.” Not the kind that was thrust upon him by some latent guilt and/or predeath promise.

  “And where do you think he will find that now, if he’s not with you and the kids?” Millie asked gently.

  Susannah shrugged, aware she hadn’t ever felt this dejected or depressed. She still couldn’t believe Gabe had kept all this from her. “He still has his work with Physicians Without Borders.”

  “Honey,” Mike said, patting her hand, “I don’t think that will begin to fulfill him, not after what he’s had this summer with all of you. So the question you have to ask yourself is, who is really hurting who tonight—and why?”

  * * *

  Cade had his shirt off and was filling two large plastic bags with ice when Gabe walked in the door. Even from ten feet away, Gabe could see the swelling and bruising on the benched pitcher’s shoulder. And he knew right then he’d been right to worry, that the reason Cade had stayed in Dallas had been to avoid Gabe’s professional medical scrutiny. “Looks like you’ve been overdoing it,” he said, figuring this was one more area of his life where he’d failed someone close to him.

  Cade cut four lengths of tape, attaching them to the end of the kitchen counter as he went. “Perhaps you are mistaking me for one of the quints you are soon to be adopting,” he joked, then added wryly, “But I don’t need a manny.”

  Gabe exhaled, thinking about how it had all gone wrong. Earlier this evening, he’d had it all. Now...he had nothing. “I’m not going to be adopting them after all,” he reported sadly.

  Cade gave Gabe a long look, then taped the bags around his shoulder with the ease of an athlete who had done so many times. “Three hours ago you were.”

  Gabe paced. “Susannah called it off.”

  His brother did a double take. “Why would she do that?”

  Briefly, Gabe explained about the postcard and the college funds he’d set up. “Although personally,” he added grimly, “I think it’s more than that.”

  Cade cast him a curious glance. “Like what?”

  Gabe shrugged. “I don’t know. Cold feet,” he guessed. “She’s always been pretty independent. Maybe the idea of hitching her future to anyone else is more than she can tolerate.” Hell, maybe it was just him. Maybe she’d changed her mind about the viability of their convenient marriage and had just been looking for a way out. Finding out what he had done in trying to protect her had given her that.

  Cade pulled two beers out of the fridge, handed one to Gabe. “Mom and Dad are going to be so disappointed,” Cade said sympathetically. “Me, too. I thought you really had it all together this time.”

  Gabe wanted to believe that. The proof said otherwise. “Did you hear their toasts tonight? Both Mike’s and Dad’s?” He paused to let his words sink in. “They were a little awkward, to say the least.”

  Cade sat down on a sofa in the main living area and waited for Gabe to join him. “The whole situation is awkward as hell, given how fast and unexpectedly it’s come about,” he said sagely. “That doesn’t mean we all don’t want to see you happy, though, which I still think means having you all together as the family you seem to have become. At least, if you and Susannah have the kind of love and commitment it takes to make a relationship last.” He shrugged affably. “But maybe not, if you can’t even make it from the rehearsal dinner to the ceremony without splitting up.”

  Gabe reflected on the time that had passed since he returned to Texas. “We do have that,” he said before he could stop himself. “At least, I think we do.”

  Cade grinned. “All right, then. Want me to try and talk some sense into her?”

  This was a first. Cade coming to his aid. Gabe felt the first glimmer of hope. “What would you say?”

  “That you may be a responsible guy who has devoted his whole life to rescuing others. But there’s a limit, even for you. And I think proposing marriage to someone just to fulfill a long-ago promise falls into that category.” Cade paused to let his words sink in. “Or am I wrong?”

  Gabe tensed. “I didn’t propose marriage to her for that reason.” Not even one that was convenient.

  Cade nodded sagely. “Then maybe before anyone else gets in the middle of this, you should tell her the real reason you did.”

  * * *

  After Mike and Millie left, Susannah washed the tears from her face, changed into her pajamas and sat staring at her cell phone, her heart awash in abject misery. It was nearly one o’clock in the morning.

  It’s not too late. He might still be up. Even if he’s not, you could call and wake him up. Because it isn’t over until it’s over. And for her, despite the harsh words they had exchanged before the short, silent drive home, it did not feel over. Far from it.

  Drawing a deep breath, she picked up her phone yet again. The screen flashed with an incoming text.

  Gabe’s ID appeared onscreen. You up? he wrote.

  Her heart was in her throat. She forced herself to let go and trust. Not just in him. But that with love and effort, they would be able to work this all out. Yes, she typed back.

  Can we talk? he texted in return.

  Yes. Heavens, yes!

  I’m outside.

  Her heart skipped a beat. Be right there. Susannah quickly dressed and tiptoed down the stairs. Then, switching on the outside lamp, she eased out the front door, Daisy by her side. Gabe was standing on the porch, clad in his running clothes, hands braced on his hips, cell phone still in his hand. His whiskey-colored eyes were serious, intent. “Hey,” he said softly.

  Joy mixed with anxiety. “Hey.” Tears threatened yet again. Though she yearned to just throw herself in his arms and let the physical side of their relationship make amends, she knew they couldn’t just ignore their problems. They had to deal with them head-on as they came up. And first off, there was something she had to say. She took his hand in hers. “I’m so sorry, Gabe. I completely overreacted tonight.”

  He regarded her steadily, his eyes alight with kindness and another emotion she couldn’t identify. “Why?” he asked, just as quietly.

  With a deep breath, she continued, “For years now, ever since my parents died, I’ve been afraid to want or need anything from anyone, for fear that I would become a liability to them, the way Belinda and I were to our aunt Elda.”

  He nodded, acknowledging he knew this to be true.

  She gripped his hand tightly, relying on his warmth and his strength. “So I’ve tried really hard not to ask anything of anyone, unless there was some way to repay them in return. I didn’t want to burden anyone or be in their debt.” Mike and Millie had understood that, as had the mothers in the Multiples Club, l
etting her repay every kindness with one of her own.

  “And you succeeded,” he said admiringly.

  “With everyone but you,” Susannah told him quietly, finally admitting to the guilt and uncertainty that had secretly been plaguing her.

  She drew a deep breath and spoke from her heart. “But when you entered our lives this summer, everything started to change.”

  His eyes darkened. This, he hadn’t known. “In what way?”

  Susannah gulped. “As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t seem to maintain the internal score keeping that has always kept me on an even keel.” She held his gaze and forced herself to go on. “Even more alarming, I found myself wanting the kinds of things I had never allowed myself to yearn for, like a husband to love who would love me back and help me raise the kids. And a traditional marriage. And that in turn made me start to not just want but need you in my life.”

  “As your partner, in all things related to love and family.”

  Nodding, Susannah released a shuddering breath. “And I have to tell you that really scared me, because I knew you were leaving again at summer’s end. And deep down, even though I said I was okay with that,” she admitted, her lower lip quivering, “I wasn’t sure I would be when it came time to say goodbye.”

  “And yet you agreed to the terms of our marriage of convenience.”

  Susannah nodded and confessed what was in her heart. “I wanted to give you what you wanted and needed, too, and I know how much your work means to you. So if that meant long absences... I was willing to abide by that and do whatever else was necessary to make our relationship work.”

  His face relaxed, and he moved closer still.

  Basking in his nearness, Susannah continued, “So, you need to know, when you do go, the kids and I’ll be right here, waiting for you. And the only thing we’ll feel when you do return is happiness to see you.”

  He smiled, every inch of him resolute male. “Guaranteed?”

  Susannah drew a stabilizing breath and forced herself to be completely honest. “Guaranteed.”