by Janice Lynn
“You being here. You working at my hospital. You. Just everything about you.”
He studied her, then, grinning, asked, “Do I agitate you?”
Why was he grinning? What was up with his question? “What?”
“You sound agitated.”
She frowned. Had he lost his mind? “I am beyond agitated. You annoy me no end. Go away.”
But rather than him looking hurt or offended, Matthew’s grin widened. “You want to get out of here with me?”
Had he not heard a word of what she’d said?
“No.”
“That’s not what I meant. Well, that always seems to be in the background of what I’m feeling where you’re concerned, but I was thinking more along the lines of going somewhere to get a cup of coffee and talk. This,” he gestured around the party in full swing, “isn’t really my scene.”
Hers neither. She’d talked with the board members and their significant others, had put in an appearance because she respected and adored Dr. Luiz, even if she hadn’t quite forgiven him. She was ready to leave. But with Matthew?
Get a cup of coffee and talk. It sounded so innocent.
So tempting.
“Fine. Coffee. Talk. Nothing else.”
But if it really was innocent, if she really believed she was just going for coffee and talk, why did every warning bell in Natalie’s head sound?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
MATTHEW LET NATALIE make the rounds saying her farewells to several of their colleagues, to Dr. Luiz and his wife. He waited for her to leave, alone, kept an eye on her bozo ex to make sure the idiot didn’t follow, and within fifteen minutes made his own farewell rounds and left the party still in full swing.
He half expected Natalie to have changed her mind, for her to not be sitting in the coffee shop where they’d agreed to meet. It didn’t take a genius to see how torn she was about him.
That he understood.
There was a lot about her that had his insides torn as well. But having seen her ex pawing at her seemed to have tossed out his common sense and good intentions.
When he arrived at the coffee shop, she was sipping on a cup of something hot and reading on her phone. To the casual observer, she looked calm. Matthew wasn’t a casual observer. He noticed the little tremor in the hand that held her phone, the way she moistened her lips several times, the way her eyes closed and she appeared to be praying.
For what? For strength to tell him to get lost? For him not to stand her up? Or maybe the opposite; maybe it would be easier if he just turned and left, giving her something else to hold against him?
Something shifted inside his chest. Something monumental.
All because of this woman.
He wanted her.
At the moment, fighting the way she made him feel seemed ridiculous.
Which was, itself, crazy. Even if he could convince Natalie they weren’t toying with insanity and risking their careers to spend the night together, even if he could convince her to say yes, how would they react to each other on Monday?
Was it possible that if they had sex again it would dampen the fire burning between them? That maybe they could move on and have a truly professional relationship?
Could he risk everything to find out?
Carrie was adjusting to Memphis so well, loved being near Matthew’s family. No wonder, when he was such a screw-up stand-in parent and his family had stepped in and pulled the child into their fold. His sister had wanted Carrie to spend the night with her two girls. They’d been headed to a movie then having a girls’ slumber party. Carrie was no doubt having a blast with five-year-old Mandy and three-year-old Liz.
Matthew wanted to have the time of his life.
With Natalie.
What would one night hurt?
Perhaps sensing him watching her, she glanced up from her phone and spotted him, looking a little leery, like she wasn’t sure if she was glad he was there or not. Still, she managed a soft smile, and Matthew knew he was a goner.
Perhaps he’d been a goner from the moment he’d noticed her in the airport and not been able to get her out of his brain since.
Either way, he wanted her, knew she wanted him.
He intended to have her.
* * *
Natalie resisted the urge to squirm. Matthew was looking at her oddly. Like he wanted to gobble her up in one swift bite and slay dragons for her all at the same time.
It was a heady, very confusing expression, and her head spun as she watched him approach her table.
Not bothering with ordering a coffee of his own, he came over, sat down and smiled a smile that didn’t ease the nervous tension running through her.
If anything, more tension thrummed to life.
“What?” she asked, setting her phone on the table. She’d read the same first line of the article she’d been trying to read a dozen times and still couldn’t tell what it said.
Why was she staring into his smiling face, thinking he was too handsome to be real, and recalling that she’d held that face, kissed that face, woken up to that face just a couple of months before?
“Thinking how lucky I am that you’re really here. I wasn’t sure you would be.”
Her nervousness mounting, Natalie rolled her eyes. “Cut it with the corny comments.”
“Nothing corny about telling a beautiful woman you appreciate being with her.”
Heat flooded her cheeks. They shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be having this conversation. “What are we doing, Matthew?”
His pale blue eyes twinkled. “Having coffee?”
“You don’t have coffee.”
He glanced down in front of him at the empty table as if her announcement was news to him. “Would it make you feel better if I ordered a drink?”
Her heart beat wildly in her chest, pounding against her ribcage, beating her logic into submission. “This is crazy.”
He leaned across the table, his gaze holding hers with an intensity that made breathing difficult. “Wasting time is always crazy. A very wise woman pointed that out to me in Miami not so long ago.”
Her gaze dropped to his lips. To his magical, glorious lips that felt so good against hers. Lips that had just implied they were wasting precious time when they could be... Natalie lifted her gaze back to his, but realized that didn’t help.
She knew what he was saying, what he wanted.
The same thing she wanted.
The same reason those warning bells had gone off when she’d agreed to meet him for coffee. Because she wanted him.
Felt as if she’d always wanted him.
He wanted her, too. He was using those hypnotic eyes to will her to cut to the chase and admit what she was feeling.
Why not? a little voice asked. Why not give in to his temptation and let him do marvelous things to her body? Nothing would be different. They’d had sex in the past. What would one more night hurt?
Maybe another night would even help. Maybe having sex with Matthew in Memphis wouldn’t be nearly as good as she thought having sex with him in Florida had been.
“I want to take you home, Natalie.”
Her insides melted.
“To spend the entire night making love to you. In my bed.”
Visions of his bedroom, of his big bed, flashed into her mind. Visions of her, of him, naked, their bodies locked together in his massive bed.
Her memories were playing tricks on her, right? Miami hadn’t really been as magical as her mind made it out to be. He hadn’t really made her body sing song after glorious song.
“Let me make love to you, Natalie.”
Who was she to deny him?
After all, she was merely mortal, not some super-heroic woman. Who could resist his out-of-this-world allure?
Yeah, logic had been pulveri
zed, because, rather than reminding him of all the reasons they shouldn’t, she stood and tossed the remainder of her drink into the closest trash bin.
“Time’s wasting,” she reminded when Matthew still sat at the table, watching her every move. “You coming?”
* * *
Natalie woke with a start, realized she wasn’t in her bed and pulled the covers up higher over her bare breasts.
Her bare everything.
Because she was naked and in Matthew’s bed. In Matthew’s house.
In Memphis.
She turned her head, stared at the sleeping man next to her and fought a million emotions.
He was so darn good-looking and so sexually gifted that it was no wonder she’d ended up back in bed with him.
It was more than that.
He was more than that.
Her mind hadn’t been playing tricks on her. If anything, Matthew had been better than she recalled. Had developed even more superpowers to reach inside her body and melt every single cell into ooey, gooey, orgasmic, floating nothingness.
Who knew sex could be like that? That a woman could be so in tune with a man that his every move felt an extension of her own being?
Unable to resist, she touched him, tracing over the strong lines of his face.
Immediately his eyes opened, their pale depths focusing on her, and he smiled. “You really here or am I dreaming?”
She knew what he meant. None of this seemed real. The night before had seemed as something from a fantasy, not real life.
Because when Matthew had made love to her the first time last night there had been an intensity, a fervor, that surpassed anything they’d experienced in Florida.
It had been as if he’d been claiming her as his own, his body telling her she was his, and no time, distance or anything else would change that.
The second time there had been a sweetness, a tenderness mixed in with his urgency and passion. Every touch had been all about her, about giving pleasure, and pulling every single nerve ending to maximum sensory overload.
He had.
Dear, sweet heaven, what this man had done to her body.
He captured her fingers within his, brought them to his lips and pressed a kiss to their tips. “Real.”
She bit the inside of her lower lip. This was real.
She was in bed with Matthew. Her boss.
She knew better, knew how risky doing something so stupid was. Yet with Matthew, she seemed unable to heed logic.
“You’re thinking too much, Natalie. You have a nasty habit of doing that.”
“Sorry,” she said, shrugging her shoulders and realizing she’d caused the covers to slip and expose the upper swell of her breasts. “Sorry,” she repeated, tugging on the covers.
“Don’t be. Embrace this the way you did in Miami.”
“This was supposed to have ended in Miami,” she reminded him.
“But it didn’t.”
“No,” she admitted. Nothing had ended in Miami. Even before he’d arrived in Memphis, she’d not been able to stop thinking about him, wondering what would have happened if she’d told him she wanted to see him again. “It’s not good that we didn’t end it.”
He was silent a moment, then asked, “Because of work?”
“You’re my boss,” she reminded. “We both know if it came down to having to let one of us go that I’d be the one ousted.”
“I’d never use our relationship against you.”
“I didn’t say you would. If things didn’t work and got nasty between us, you wouldn’t have to say anything. The hospital board could opt to take matters into their own hands.”
“There’s no policy against our being together, Natalie.”
“I don’t think they’d encourage us to be in your bed, risking possible drama down the road.”
“Maybe not, but we’re good together. Unlike anything I’ve ever known. You feel it, too.” In some ways what he was saying was magic to her ears. In others, he scared her. “Neither of us is into drama,” he pointed out. “I don’t see either of us letting our physical relationship interfere with our work.”
She wanted to believe what he was saying.
“I’d like to do this again,” he admitted, lacing his fingers with hers.
“As in?”
“I want to keep having sex with you.”
Keep having sex with Matthew. It sounded so simple, so tempting. Yet, what was he really saying?
“Do you mean as in us dating?” she asked.
“I’m not looking for anything long-term, but yes, I’d like to date you.”
He sounded as surprised at his admission as Natalie felt.
“I’m not good at dating.” Just look at how her relationship with Jonathan had ended.
“Because you haven’t dated me.”
Part of her wanted to snort at his arrogance, but how could she scoff when he was right?
“I wasn’t the only one who only wanted three days in Miami and said there couldn’t be anything beyond that,” she reminded him. “I assume your reasons had to do with Carrie.”
That had him pausing, raking his fingers through his hair, then pulling her to him. Inches separated their faces as he held her close. “Carrie thinks you’re cool.”
Carrie had thought she was cool?
“She’s a great kid,” he continued, as if he needed to sell her on the little girl.
“She is, but...” Natalie took a deep breath. “What if our being involved is a problem? What then?”
“Do you overanalyze everything?”
“Yes. It’s what a good heart surgeon and researcher does.”
“True, but there are times when you have to just trust your gut instinct.”
“If I trusted my gut instinct I wouldn’t be in your bed,” she admitted rather bluntly.
“Fine, don’t trust your gut instinct,” he quickly corrected, not looking in the slightest deterred. He rolled, pinning her beneath him, but keeping his weight to where if she wanted to get free she could easily do so. He brushed the tip of his nose against hers. “Trust in me, Natalie.”
His plea sounded so simple, yet nothing could be less true. Everything about her spending time with Matthew was complicated, and trusting him? Ha! How could she when not only would her personal life be on the line, but also her professional one?
“Trust in this.” He kissed her. Softly, slowly, tenderly.
His lips felt so good on hers, so perfect.
She should tell him to stop, to not further muddy her mind with lust. But she didn’t want him to stop. She just wanted to feel, to squeeze every precious memory from the moment.
To give in to the lust.
It was just lust she was feeling, right?
“Promise you’ll give us a chance,” he whispered against her lips, pausing to drop another lingering kiss against her mouth.
She blinked up at him. “Are you using sex to seduce me into agreeing to continue to have sex with you?”
He chuckled. “I want you, Natalie. I’ll use whatever means necessary to convince you to agree with me.”
He set about doing just that, loving her so intently that Natalie was left gasping for air and wondering how she’d ever thought she could deny him anything.
Once they got out of bed, Matthew made Natalie breakfast, then drove her to her apartment to let her shower and change prior to their both going to the hospital, where they rounded on their patients and took care of paperwork. When done, Natalie headed to the cardiac computer lab to review the Harris case yet again.
Which was where Matthew found her.
“Tuesday morning would be a great day to schedule this.”
Glancing up from the computer screen, Natalie caught her breath at the vision of him leaning against the door jamb.
Lucky her. Only... No, she wasn’t going to think about that. Not right now. No doubt later logic would regain its strength and take the reins back, but for now she was going to pretend logic didn’t exist, had never existed.
She arched a brow. “You’re available that morning?”
Surprise at her comment lit in his eyes. Pleased surprise. “The first surgery of its kind performed at this hospital? I’d clear my schedule.”
She nodded. “The possibilities of where this could take treatments for transposed vessels is exciting, isn’t it?”
“Very. Walk me through the case.”
Natalie ran through the computer simulation, just as she’d done dozens of times before. Only this time Matthew was with her, offering praise, making suggestions, discussing possible scenarios that could come up and how they’d respond.
Natalie made mental notes, knew she’d be writing them down later, would be going back through the simulation at least a dozen times more prior to putting Delaine Harris on the operating table to repair her baby’s heart.
So many things could go wrong.
So many things could go right.
If she failed, Delaine’s baby would face even greater health issues than she would have had they waited until she was born. There was a risk the procedure could force her baby to be born much too soon.
If she succeeded, Delaine’s baby would never be a “blue baby”, would be able to go home with her parents much sooner, would have a much stronger heart due to the healing that would take place while she was still growing inside her mother, would have less complications later in life.
If what Natalie and several of her colleagues believed was true, the overall benefits of doing the repairs while the baby was still in utero rather than waiting until after birth far outweighed the risks.
But there were always things that came up that one wasn’t expecting. Which was why she kept running through the computer simulations, trying to plan for anything unexpected.
Matthew had been pioneering new pediatric heart surgery techniques for years. She’d draw on his experience, and would welcome his assistance. Because of Delaine and her baby, not because she’d had sex with him again.