by Janice Lynn
If he’d known there was even the slightest possibility Memphis Children’s would come through, he’d never have given in to his desire for her.
At least, he’d like to think he wouldn’t have.
There was something about her that messed with his head, so who knew if in sunny Miami, away from all the stresses of his life, he’d have been able to resist the temptation she’d presented with her quick smile and desire-filled eyes?
He missed that Natalie. The one who had looked at him with delight, touched him with longing, carried on long, flirty conversations with him and shared nights that had passed much too quickly.
Maybe that was part of him missing his old life, the life where he’d been free to have as many affairs as he wanted, where he’d been free to focus on his work. Where he hadn’t had to second-guess every decision he made and how it would impact a child.
Or maybe it was just Natalie.
Searching the crowded ballroom, he had no difficulty spotting her. She stood out in any room, but looked particularly lovely tonight. She wore a figure-hugging black dress that accentuated her rocking body. Her hair was down—something he hadn’t seen since Florida, as she always kept it pulled up at the hospital. Memories of running his fingers through those locks haunted him, making him long to cross the room and touch the silky strands.
To think his fascination was anything other than unique to her was foolish. No woman from his past had monopolized his thoughts, his desires, the way Natalie did.
“Ah, Dr. Sterling is here.”
Apparently the couple had moved on without Matthew noticing and the guest of honor’s gaze had followed his.
He didn’t turn to meet Dr. Luiz’s eyes. No need. The man wasn’t stupid and had made several comments over the past few weeks that let Matthew know he might not know details, but he knew something was up.
“She is,” Matthew agreed. In her scrubs, hair pulled up and no make-up, Natalie was gorgeous. Tonight, dressed to shine, she should have been featured in one of the fashion magazines Carrie loved to look at.
“I have to admit,” the older man said from beside Matthew, “I thought she’d have warmed to you by now.”
“She may never warm to me. I took what she saw as hers.”
“That’s not it and we both know it.”
His confident tone had Matthew’s gaze dragging off Natalie and glancing toward the astute older man.
“I’ve known her for a decade and have never seen Natalie react to anyone the way she does to you. You agitate her.”
“Agitation’s not a good thing.”
“Matter of opinion, but I’d say it’s not a bad thing.”
Matthew’s gaze narrowed on the man he greatly respected. “Our opinions differ on that. She resents me, and you, too, for what she sees as a direct betrayal and slap in her face career-wise in that she didn’t get to take over the department.”
“I’d put money on the fact that her agitation with you has nothing to do with anything that’s happened in Memphis.”
Which implied the man suspected something had happened before his arrival in Memphis.
“I didn’t do anything in Miami to make Natalie dislike me, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“I didn’t say she disliked you.” The man’s brow furrowed. “Unlike the idiot who is falling all over himself in front of her in hopes she’ll beg him back.”
Matthew’s gaze returned to Natalie to see a tall, slim, suited man fawning over her. Natalie’s expression wasn’t pleasant, but it also held enough emotion to give away that the man wasn’t a casual acquaintance. Even without Dr. Luiz’s comment, Matthew would have known the guy had to be her ex.
The one whom she’d lived with for a couple of years.
A man who’d shared her life, her bed, her body.
A man who was reaching for her hand even as Matthew watched.
Green acid gurgled within him, and it had nothing to do with anything he’d eaten and everything to do with the man touching Natalie.
The man—what had his name been?—lifted her hand and pressed a kiss there. The acid in Matthew’s belly erupted into full-blown volcanic burn.
His vision blurred.
Did the fool think he could have her back?
Not that Matthew had any say in the matter, but Natalie was smarter than to take back a man who’d cheated.
Only, she wasn’t telling the guy who still held her hand to get lost, and Matthew knew first-hand that she had no problems whatsoever with saying those words.
CHAPTER TEN
“YOU’RE LOOKING ESPECIALLY beautiful tonight, Nat.”
Before Natalie realized what Jonathan was doing, he’d grabbed her hand and kissed it in what he clearly hoped would appear as charming.
Natalie was not charmed.
Shock reverberated through her. Wasn’t he engaged to the woman he’d been cheating with, or had her friends been mistaken?
Either way, Natalie wanted nothing to do with him, and attempted to jerk her hand free, but his hold tightened. “I can’t say it’s nice to see you,” she said.
His smooth smile didn’t waver and neither did his hold. “Nat, Nat, Nat. You aren’t still bitter about what happened?”
“No.” She wasn’t bitter. “Bitterness would imply I care. We both know that you screwing around on me did me a big favor. Let my hand go.”
“Ouch!” he exclaimed, but didn’t look as if Natalie’s words fazed him. Instead of letting go of her hand, he brought it to his lips again and pressed another kiss to her fingertips. “I miss you and that sharp wit of yours.”
Stunned by his public show of affection when they really hadn’t been into a lot of PDA when they were together, she stared at him in confusion, and more than a little irritation.
“You have to be kidding me. Aren’t you and what’s-her-name engaged? I know I saw her with you earlier. Why are you even over here talking to me? You should be with her.”
He tsked. “You shouldn’t believe everything you hear.”
“You aren’t engaged?”
His gaze didn’t quite meet hers; instead he studied where he held her hand. “I didn’t say that.”
Natalie rolled her eyes and managed to pull her hand free.
“Tell me you don’t miss me.” He took a step toward her and Natalie automatically took a step back.
“That you don’t come home,” he continued, stepping closer yet again, “and wish I was there in our bed.”
“Ask me to do something difficult because this one is way too easy.” She lifted her chin a little, looked him square in the eyes, and said, “I don’t miss you, and I’m glad you’re not in my bed.”
“I don’t believe you.” His utter arrogance amazed Natalie. How had she not realized what a smug idiot he was?
“I don’t care what you believe. Not anymore.” She wasn’t sure she ever had. Which was sad. She’d lived with him, had sex with him, hoped he’d be the one to love her and never leave her. She had cared about him once upon a time.
“You don’t miss our nights together?” He loomed, his expression sneering, suggestive, as if he really believed her to be pining for him to return. “Aren’t you lonely, Natalie? Missing a man’s touch?”
When had he backed her into a corner? And how had he done so without her realizing? She opened her mouth to tell him what a fool he was and to push past him, but before she could someone answered for her.
“Not in the slightest.”
Natalie jumped at the male voice, at the strong hand that slid around her waist and settled possessively on her low back as Matthew’s body inserted itself between her and Jonathan.
“I assure you she’s not lonely,” he continued, donning a smug look of his own. “But then, only a fool would believe a woman as beautiful and passionate as Natalie would be lonel
y.”
Natalie didn’t know whether to slap Matthew or to hug him. Hug him because Jonathan’s smugness had completely vanished. Slap him because they were in a room full of their peers and she’d just as soon no one wondered what was up with her and her sexy new heart surgeon boss.
Glancing around the room, she thought it didn’t seem anyone was paying the slightest attention. Plus, Jonathan had backed them to where they were semi-blocked from most of the other guests.
She should be grateful Matthew hadn’t added “or missing a man’s touch”.
Then again, that wouldn’t have been true because she had been missing a man’s touch. Just not Jonathan’s. She missed Matthew. His smile. His conversations. His kisses. His touch.
Even now his fingers burned through the thin material of her dress and scorched her back, making her want to arch into him, making her want to forget all the reasons why anything other than a purely professional relationship between them was a very bad idea.
“And you are?” Jonathan’s expression was snide as he visually measured Natalie’s rescuer.
Resisting the urge to pull away from Matthew, Natalie smiled instead and introduced the only two men she’d ever been intimate with. How weird was that?
“You’re Natalie’s new boss?” Jonathan’s gaze bounced back and forth between them. His grin was vicious. “Having to resort to sleeping your way to the top now? First passed over for another woman, and just a few months later passed over for another heart surgeon.” He gave a low laugh. “Not being quite good enough yet again has to sting, Natalie. Especially when you worked so hard for this.”
His words were meant to hurt. Natalie knew that. She tried not to let them, but they reached their mark. Why had she ever shared her past hurts, her future aspirations with this buffoon?
“Dr. Coleman deserved the position.” Oh, how it hurt to say that out loud. “His credentials are excellent.” They were. “Memphis Children’s is lucky to have a doctor of his caliber join our staff.”
Jonathan laughed. “You forget I lived with you for over two years and know you better than anyone,” he reminded. “All your long hours being for nothing must kill you.”
It did.
“My work wasn’t for nothing. I saved lives, Jonathan. Something you have no concept of.”
“You sound so altruistic,” he sneered.
Matthew’s body tensed and Natalie continued, trying to diffuse the situation. The last thing she wanted was a scene at Dr. Luiz’s party. “You must not have been paying attention all those years you claim to have gotten to know me.” She cast what she hoped was a look of appreciation toward Matthew. “I’ve always admired Matthew’s work and look forward to learning all I can from working with someone of his talent.”
“Right. This guy comes along and you’re suddenly okay with not getting the position you’ve been busting your butt for since the beginning?” He turned to Matthew. “Better watch out, buddy. Her career means everything to her and you got in the way. You know that old saying about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer? You might be enjoying being in my old bed, but I’d watch my back if I were you.”
Matthew, who’d been watching their exchange, had that dark and dangerous expression he wore so well. “I’m not worried.”
His look said Jonathan would be wise to be worried, though.
“Pity,” Jonathan mocked, getting in his parting shot. “You should be.”
Natalie stared at the retreating back of her ex and shook her head. How could she have ever had a relationship with such a sleazeball? And she was so replacing her bedroom furniture ASAP.
“Real winner there, Natalie.”
Like she needed him to tell her that.
“Yeah, I can really pick them, can’t I?” She gave him a pointed look. “Why did you interrupt?”
“I didn’t like how he was crowding you into a corner.”
Neither had she, but she lifted her chin and glared at Matthew. “I can take care of myself.”
“Apparently. I’ll be sure to wear chain mail beneath my scrubs.”
“You’re too funny.” Her heart pounded. “It was none of your business.”
“I felt as if it was. I really didn’t like how he was looking at you.” Matthew’s eyes searched hers. “How he kissed your hand and wouldn’t let go.”
“It wasn’t anything to do with you,” she reminded, feeling way more crowded than she previously had. But in a different way. Matthew made her feel...breathless.
Watching her for a few long moments, his pale blue eyes softened and he said, “Dance with me, Natalie.”
Where had his invitation come from?
“I thought you agreed that we needed to keep things professional between us?”
“Dr. Luiz thinks you don’t like me, that there is animosity between us. If he’s picked up on it, then others may have. We need to put on a united front. For the department,” he added when she readied to argue. “Besides, we danced together in Miami, so this really isn’t that big of a deal.”
Touching Matthew, dancing with him, would be a very big deal.
“Dancing in Miami was different.”
“Everything in Miami was different.”
She nodded, forced herself to look away. Everything had been different. He’d been a stranger, someone she was free to be silly with, someone she was never supposed to see again, someone who wouldn’t interfere with her life or her career goals.
Now he was her boss, had a child, and was someone she saw almost daily.
“Dr. Luiz suspects something happened between us.”
She thought so, too. “Probably.”
“You don’t sound upset. Did you say something to him?”
She gave a horrified look. “Why would I do that? Besides, why does it have to be me who said something? Maybe it was something you said.”
“Maybe,” he admitted, his gaze going off to where Jonathan had rejoined the woman he’d come with.
Poor girl.
“I wanted to punch him when he kissed your hand.”
Shocked, Natalie shot her gaze to Matthew. “You’re too talented a surgeon to risk anything that stupid. He’s not worth messing up your hands. It’d be a shame if you couldn’t operate.”
The dark color to Matthew’s face morphed into a full-blown smile. “Always thinking work, Natalie?”
She didn’t respond.
“I was saying I wanted to defend your honor, admitting to being jealous, and your response is that I should protect my surgeon hands at all cost?”
Warmth at his admission spread through Natalie and she fought melting against him.
Monica’s and Suzie’s comments about making him jealous popped into her mind. She hadn’t been trying to do that, especially not with Jonathan. They’d have a field day with that one.
Still, she needed to keep focused on what was important, on what her real goals were.
“Admitting to jealousy is personal, Matthew. We only have a professional relationship, remember?”
“I keep forgetting.”
Needing to put a sharp halt to that line of thinking, Natalie asked, “Where’s Carrie?”
“Spending the night at my sister’s. I’m a single man tonight. Home alone. You could come over, keep me from getting lonely.”
Natalie ignored the single man part, the being home alone part, the coming over part, the keeping him from getting lonely part, because she couldn’t let herself think about why he’d tell her those things. She just couldn’t.
Even not allowing herself to think on those things had her heart-rate kicking up several notches.
“You have a sister?” He’d mentioned her before, but focusing in on that comment seemed the safest route.
He laughed. “You make it sound as if I must have come from a test tube. You mentioned
your parents were killed in an automobile accident, but don’t you have other family?”
She so wasn’t going to go there. Not with Matthew. Not with anyone. She didn’t talk about her sordid foster life prior to the McCulloughs taking her in.
“Does your sister live close?”
Letting it slide that she had answered his question with one of her own, he nodded. “About a twenty-minute drive from the hospital. She’s just down the street from my mother. It’s great being near them.”
“Why have I never read that you were from Memphis?”
“If you read anything about my background, which is unlikely, it would have said I was from Arkansas. I grew up in a small town just over the state line. Until the past month, I’ve never technically lived in Memphis or Tennessee.”
“I see.”
“I’m not sure you do.”
Her gaze met his and she saw things that would be better not seen.
Because she saw what he’d admitted to—jealousy, possessiveness, desire, longing.
She’d told him he had no right to feel those things, yet she’d never stopped feeling desire for him. Longing for him.
Lord help her if he ever showed up with another woman; she’d feel possessive, jealous.
Which was ridiculous. She should not want Matthew.
He’d been a fling.
He’d taken her job.
She was pretty sure spending time with him would destroy everything she held dear.
Yet she wanted him anyway.
“You were right to say no to dancing with me, Natalie.” He looked at her as if he were going to gobble her up.
She was probably looking at him as if she wanted him to.
“Why’s that?”
“Because the moment your body was next to mine everyone in the room would have known how much I want you. I’ve never been good at pretense or games, and denying whatever this is between us is getting more and more difficult.”
She glanced away, not sure what to say. She wanted him, too, but admitting that sure wasn’t on the tip of her tongue.
“This whole thing is impossible.”
“What thing?” he asked.