Stuck on You

by Patricia Mar

  She didn’t want to ruin her first day at work, though. She was too excited, and she wanted to make a good impression and show her mastery of the English language, which, fortunately, she had always kept up to scratch.

  Three hours later, Sarah was smiling to herself in pleasure at the pair of comfortable dark burgundy loafers she had bought. Money well spent, because her feet still hadn’t started complaining.

  She chatted pleasantly with the tourists, patiently answering their questions as she led them to picturesque corners of the city and showed them the sights of ancient Rome. The hours passed and she found herself in the neighbourhood of the Spanish Steps as the sun rose high in the sky and the air grew warmer on that October day. Instinctively, she sought out the roof of Daniel’s house, but it was impossible to see from where they were.

  A chatty tourist in his fifties asked if they could stop for a drink in a bar and Sara was more than happy to oblige. She was beginning to feel a bit tired herself and a little break wouldn’t do them any harm. They found a nearby place with outdoor seating that was perfect for them, and they all sat down and ordered. She found that she was having fun with her group of tourists – they were cheerful and interesting company. She was so happy, in fact, that for a while she actually forgot Daniel would be leaving soon. Maybe working would help the weeks without him fly past. She felt positive and confident again. Everything was going really well. This was a beautiful period of her life. The best, thanks to Daniel.

  She was sipping her soda water with a silly smile on her face when she overheard the conversation of two girls sitting at the next table, and her mind snapped to attention when the name of Daniel Gant was mentioned, accompanied by giggles and sighs. She shifted slightly in her chair as if she were hot, but the reality was that she wanted to get closer to them without being too obvious about it.

  The two, both in their twenties, were flicking through a magazine. Sara craned her neck with all the nonchalance she could muster in this potentially embarrassing situation.

  “God he’s cool. Lucky her.”

  “Look at her rubbing herself against him! And look where his hand is! Look, Alice, look.”

  Sara wanted to look too. What were they talking about? Could they have been photographed somewhere together? But they always kept their hands in the right places when they were in public. She craned her neck even more, like a giraffe.

  “And, I mean, Thailand! It looks so romantic in these pictures.”

  “God, what I wouldn’t give for a night with Daniel Gant in Thailand!”

  Her friend laughed. “Think you’re the only one?”

  “I doubt it,” laughed the other, and a shadow fell across Sarah’s face. Thailand, naked, hand, a woman… who obviously wasn’t her.

  The straw that broke the camel’s back was, “I feel sorry for his girlfriend, though, if he has one.”

  Right, it was time to go to war.

  “I think he does, I read something about it on Facebook. She’s Italian. Why feel sorry for her?” the girl smirked. “I’m sure Daniel keeps her busy.”

  “Yes, but how long do you think it’ll last, looking at that,” laughed the other.

  Sara took a deep breath to try and calm the anger that was building up inside – an anger directed at nobody in particular… yet.

  “Excuse me, girls.”

  The two, who had been practically glued to the magazine, looked up and stared at her curiously.

  “Yes?” said one of the two.

  “I’m a big fan of Daniel Gant and I couldn’t help overhearing you. Has he done a new photo shoot?”

  “Ooh yeah – look!”

  Excited to have found another admirer of the hunky model, they turned the magazine round so she could see it.

  Sara froze while one of the girls flipped over the pages, showing pictures of her boyfriend practically in the buff rolling about with a woman who was virtually naked… the setting was somewhere Oriental – Thailand probably, but what did it matter, when all she could see was those oily, tangled bodies, wearing the smallest shreds of underwear and with their hands in places where they shouldn’t be?

  The blood boiling in her veins was turning to poison. She tried to keep her cool in front of the strangers who’d done nothing wrong except drool over the half naked body of her boyfriend.

  “Ah… ok,” was the most she was able to utter.

  “What a body, eh?” the girl sighed, “And what a lucky cow that model is to be able to get her hands on him.”

  “Yes,” Sara said, barely managing to control her voice as she began to feel the flames of jealousy scorching her head and her heart. She was livid. What was the matter? It wasn’t like her to react like this. She’d never experienced anything like this with her ex. She’d always thought she wasn’t the possessive type, but now it looked like she was going to have to learn to tame these crazy instincts.

  Damn, her group was waiting for her. Trying to act as naturally as possible, she said goodbye to the two girls and went on with the tour, but she was so distracted that she was sure she told those poor people a total load of nonsense. Her enthusiasm had been crushed by the weight of her jealousy.

  She did nothing but check her watch until the moment she handed the group over to the driver, as though they were a parcel. As soon as they were gone, Sara marched towards the nearest news stand and bought a copy of the magazine. Yes, she wanted to punish herself. Actually, no, she wanted to punish Daniel, who obviously had no shame, not a modicum of modesty – who for money would do pictures so risqué that even her mother would like them. It was a nightmare. Would it always be like this? Would she look at the photos and then go on the rampage, feeling violated and feeling that what was between them had been violated?

  Where the hell did that model have her bloody hand? Inside Daniel’s underpants… Who cared what bloody brand they were? Who was the photographer who had taken those indecent shots?

  She was ready to burst, like a pressure cooker. She was jealous – jealous, jealous, jealous.

  *

  Virginia was sitting on the couch with a book and a highlighter pen in her hand, busy studying for her economics exam, when she heard the front door open. Wanting to know how her sister’s day had gone she jumped up, but then gasped when she saw her enter the room. Sara looked dishevelled, and stood frowning, holding a stack of magazines which she hurled to the ground in fury.

  “What the hell’s going on?”

  Virginia went over and picked one up. “Ah, the latest issue of Guys & Dolls.” She looked at the cover, then at her sister’s face and then back at the covers of the magazines on the floor. They were all the same.

  “Let me get this right, you want to give your family and friends a copy of this issue with your boyfriend on the cover?” she said, barely holding back her laughter.

  “Don’t you start, okay? Just as I feared, I’ve turned into Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. This is a nightmare!” She flopped down onto the couch and covered her face with her hands.

  Virginia sat down beside her and began to browse through the magazine, looking for the offending photos, then wrinkled her nose, immediately understanding her sister’s mood.

  “For God’s sake, don’t look at them!” Sara grabbed the magazine and threw it across the room.

  “What were you thinking, buying all these copies?”

  “I don’t know… that I could burn them?”

  “We don’t have a fireplace.”

  “Ah, right.”

  “Really, did you think that taking a few copies out of circulation would make you feel better?”

  “I wasn’t behaving rationally. I’d have bought more if I could’ve carried them.”

  Virginia stared at her in surprise – she certainly had never expected her well balanced sister to react so hysterically.

  “Sara, why are you doing this? You knew when you started going out with him that he did this kind of stuff.”

  “I thought I’d be able to cope – b
ut I love him Virginia, and now it’s so difficult.” She pointed to her stomach. “I feel as though there’s a lead weight crushing me in here, I’m so angry I can’t breathe. Seeing him so intimate with that girl, both of them practically naked, while the women of the world are drooling over him… I mean, I don’t want to share my boyfriend with the women of the world.”

  “Sara, I understand that it’s difficult for a control freak like you to accept a situation that’s so different from her usual relationships…”

  “It’s not just that – it hurts, I feel like there’s a hole in my heart. I wish Daniel was mine, but he isn’t, and this photo shoot proves it.”

  “Oh don’t be silly, it just shows that he’s very comfortable showing off his body. I mean, he hasn’t been unfaithful to you.”

  “Maybe I am being silly, and the rational part of me knows that you’re right, but I’m going out of my mind. I’d like to punch him in the face – and buy him some clothes, seeing as apparently he doesn’t have any of his own.”

  Virginia gave a sly smile. “No, he never seems to find any.” She craned her neck to look at the nearest photo.

  “Don’t peek! It’s embarrassing for my sister to see him in that way. I still don’t think it’s normal.”

  Virginia chuckled. “No, it isn’t. But Sara, I really think you need to learn to control your emotions. If you want to be with this man – and just let me remind you that you love him and that he loves you – you really need to start accepting that.”

  “Maybe I’ll give him an ultimatum. It’s the risqué photo shoots or me.”

  “Oh, come on,” said Virginia, putting her hands to her head. “That’s his job.”

  Sara winced. Just then the phone rang. Sara looked at the display.

  “It’s him.”

  “Answer it.”

  “No, I don’t want to talk to him.”

  “Don’t be a baby, answer it.”

  “No, if I talk to him now I don’t know what I’ll say.”

  “For God’s sake, who’s the eldest here? You’re acting so childishly!” Sara sighed and answered the phone, her lips were drawn into a tight grimace.

  “Hello babe, how was your first day at work?”

  “Good. Thank you.” That was the most she could manage. Virginia shook her head and looked up at the ceiling. Sara motioned for her to leave, and her sister went into the other room.

  “That’s it? You were so excited last night.”

  “It was nice.” Why couldn’t she say something that made sense?

  “What’s happened? Is something wrong?”

  “I’m just tired – really, really tired.” She feigned a yawn. “My feet are burning. I can’t wait to have a shower.”

  “You can come here and have one, I’ll make you a nice dinner and then I can give you a massage.” Why was he being so sweet and helpful right when she wanted to punch him in the face?

  “That’s really sweet of you,” she said – ‘Sweet’ coming out as a grunt – “but I really can’t. I’m afraid we’re not going to be able to see each other tonight.”

  “Are you kidding? I’m leaving for Los Angeles tomorrow morning!” He sounded disappointed and surprised. She been so possessed by the unwanted fury that raged inside her, that she’d forgotten. But how could she meet him when she was feeling this angry? She was afraid of him seeing her, as well – afraid of saying more than she wanted to… This insane jealousy had turned her into a demon and she was afraid that Daniel would notice. Better not to see him – maybe a bit of miserable solitude would make it pass.

  “I’ve got a splitting headache, Daniel, I’d be terrible company.”

  Silence… He didn’t answer for a moment, then said “I’ll call you later to see how you are.”

  Was he angry? Sorry? So much the worse for him. That was her revenge – her stupid, childish revenge.

  “Thanks, I’ll be looking forward to it.” And she hung up without waiting for him to answer.

  “Yeah, right, I’ll be here waiting for you.” She threw the phone on the couch and sighed.

  She was an idiot – she knew it, but it was ok. That day she had every right to feel stupid and desperate.

  Chapter 25

  A Setback

  Luckily Virginia was out, because Sara didn’t feel like talking about Daniel yet again. She’d had enough of her brain and her heart being consumed by him.

  He was like a parasite that had worked its way into every part of her, destroying all her defences. He had told her that he’d manage, and he’d been right. Sara felt helpless, the victim of negative feelings that she couldn’t endure and which were turning her into a person she didn’t like at all. Yet she couldn’t get rid of it – couldn’t escape that feeling of defeat, of feeling demoralised and of the anger that had given her terrible stomach ache.

  She was lying on the sofa, battling with her stomach cramps. If she could just fall asleep and find some temporary relief. Maybe she’d dream about Chris Hemsworth, dressed up as mighty Thor and swinging his hammer, or a tennis match where she beat Venus Williams… in short, anything but a male model, his biceps and some girl’s hands on his derriere.

  She found herself growling like Spank – perhaps she had more in common with that dog than she’d thought. She’d even be willing to sign an armistice with her, but perhaps she’d never see her again.

  Her heart was literally aching. Had it come to this? Imagining being without Daniel, breaking off an important relationship because she was tormented inside by feeling the wounded, jealous girlfriend? She had to come to her senses before she did something really stupid.

  Maybe she should have a camomile tea.

  Wait, was that the buzzer? Was someone at the intercom? With a bad feeling, Sara got up. Daniel?

  No, she wouldn’t open the door. She wasn’t at home, she absolutely wasn’t at home! Although he knew she was, because she had told him so herself. What could she do? Her heart raced and the minutes passed in a silence that suggested perhaps she was saved – when the doorbell suddenly rang. It must have been the neighbour who had let him in, she was always buzzing people in through the front door. She might as well just leave it wide open.

  She approached the door as warily as if there were a maniac on the other side ready to break it down – or worse still, Jack Nicholson with his axe like in The Shining. She felt doomed. There was no way out, it was definitely Daniel. Maybe a part of her had wanted this – the devious part that had treated him so coldly, convinced that it would draw him to her lair.

  And now? What the hell should she do?

  “Sara, I know you’re in there. Are you ok? Please open this door.”

  Sara took a deep breath to calm herself down, put on a nice smile and opened the door.

  “Daniel, I’m sorry if you were worried about me. You needn’t be.”

  He looked at her standing in the doorway for a moment, then came over and kissed her on the lips. “I was worried,” he sighed.

  Sara turned away from him, and motioned for him to enter. “Come in, make yourself comfortable. I was going to make myself… a herbal tea, do you want one?”

  “Yes, please.”

  He followed her into the kitchenette and sat on the stool as he watched her fill the kettle with water and put it on the hob.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Better – the headache’s going,” she lied. Daniel was quick and caught her hand in his as she passed him by. “Tell me what’s wrong. I’m leaving tomorrow and I can’t go without knowing what has happened between us.”

  He was certainly perspicacious, no doubt about it…

  Sara’s eyes flew in horror to the mountain of magazines that still were still scattered about the living room. Daniel followed her gaze and saw them heaped in a corner.

  He turned back to observe her thoughtfully. “So?”

  “Okay, okay, I admit it. I’m angry with you, with myself, with the whole world.”

  Daniel stared at he
r. “Of course – you never do anything unless it’s in grand style,” he joked.

  Sara lost it. She’d tried to hold off, to do the right thing, but she just couldn’t if he was determined to pretend there was nothing wrong.

  “You do things in grand style too – your photo shoots are always so full of… details.” She folded her arms and stared at him with a sarcastic expression. She needed to let off steam and didn’t care if she made a fool of herself to make her point.

  “All right, it’s time to talk about it,” said Daniel, wearily. “I was afraid that this would crop up sooner or later.”

  “You were afraid?” That’s right, keep it up, you stupid bloody model. I’m ready.

  “Of course – now that I know you so well, I was sure that this part of my work would eventually end up upsetting you. I’m so sorry.”

  Well, that had done it – she’d been pissed off and looking for a fight, and now she had to soften her tone. “Seeing my boyfriend covered in baby oil and getting groped… it’s unbearable – it’s revolting!”

  “It’s just work, Sara. That’s all.” He seemed to be trying to justify himself, but he’d taken the wrong tack. The contrite ‘sorry’ of an instant before was wiped out at the speed of light.

  “Can you hear yourself? ‘It’s just work, Sara. That’s all’!” she said. “Can you imagine how it feels for me to see you like that? Some things are supposed to be just for us, aren’t they? I’ve never been narrow minded, but now thanks to you I’m starting to be. It’s pathetic, I know, but I can’t bear you seeing you touch her like that even if it is for work – and your butt is in plain sight for all the world’s girls to drool over.”

  Daniel’s expression hardened. “The fact that I don’t really care if I do photo shoots with hardly any clothes on doesn’t mean I don’t know how to behave. I’m faithful, I believe in relationships and especially in ours. I’d never hurt you.”

  “Yes, but now you’re with me. Does it seem normal to you that my mother has seen you naked?” Sara threw up her arms and began pacing up and down. “And my sister, and my friends – even my grandmother?”