Love for the Holidays (five book Christmas bundle)

by Noelle Adams

  “What do you want to drink?” Kyle called from around the corner.

  “Water is fine!”

  “Still or sparkling?”

  The question shouldn’t send her into a laughing fit, but the last time Kyle had made a post-coital snack it had featured cold pizza and flat ginger ale. Times had changed indeed. She tipped onto her side. The scratching of nails on the hardwood floor warned her that Buddy was on his way to investigate the problem, and when he slid to a stop at the foot of the bed it sent her into another round of laughter. When Kyle returned, carrying a tray of fruit and croissants, she was still pressing a hand to her quivering abdomen.

  “I take it that you didn’t expect me to have sparkling water?” Kyle cocked an eyebrow at her as he settled next to her.

  “Ahhhh, god…I don’t know why that was so funny. It’s not. It’s just…” Laney gestured at the bed. “This was so familiar, you know? You are so familiar. It’s surreal when I think about all that has happened since the last time we slept together, and yet that part felt so…”

  Kyle nodded, as if in agreement that it was in fact so something. He cleared his throat and grinned. “It wasn’t all familiar. You’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with some things.”

  “Oh, that.” She blushed.

  “Don’t be embarrassed.” His eyes crinkled as he bit into a croissant. “It was awesome.”

  “I’m not embarrassed, exactly. I’m surprised at myself.” She could count the number of times she’d offered oral sex on one hand. Until today, she had never understood the appeal. “But it felt right in the moment.”

  “Felt more than right. Your mouth is wicked, Laney Calhoun.” He reached out and dragged his thumb across her bottom lip, sending a wave of heat crashing through her belly.

  “My roommate during med school worked in a woman-friendly sex shop, I attended a few of her classes.” Her blush deepened. “I don’t know why I shared that.”

  “It’s okay. I know you’ve had other relationships, so have I. It’s not a big deal.”

  Laney’s hand froze over the strawberries. Her chest felt tight, like the weight of all of Kyle’s girlfriends had just been dropped on her. “Yeah, right.”

  “Laney?”

  “What?”

  “Is it a big deal?”

  She focused all of her attention on the berries. There was a big one in the middle that looked yummy, but it would probably be too much to eat in one bite. She moved it out of the way, looking for its smaller cousin.

  “Laney.” Kyle moved closer and placed his hand flat against her bare back.

  She nodded. “It’s nothing.”

  “Clearly.”

  “So you’ve had…relationships? Since me? I mean, of course you have, but they’ve been serious?” She shifted a bit to see Kyle’s face. He was hard to read, but he didn’t look upset, just confused.

  “Yeah. I dated a bit after we broke up, and then a few years ago I was in a serious relationship. You haven’t dated?”

  She shrugged. “I’ve dated, I guess. Evie pointed out that I don’t like the word boyfriend, and she’s right. I haven’t been interested in anything emotional in a long time. Too messy.”

  “Haven’t been interested, or scared of the risk?” Kyle’s appraising look reminded her that they’d shared some brutal honesty earlier.

  She sighed. “You sound like Evie. Not wanting to get hurt again doesn’t need to be about fear.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that. I was actually accused of the opposite. That I think I want a committed relationship when I really don’t, that I’m scared to be alone.”

  “Is that true?”

  “I don’t think so. But I haven’t dated in two years now, kind of an experiment of sorts.”

  Laney couldn’t keep the shock off her face. “Two years?”

  It was Kyle’s turn to shrug. “I had some stuff to work out. Why, how long has it been for you?”

  She busied herself with choosing another strawberry. No way was she answering that.

  Kyle chuckled. “So, less than that, eh?”

  Time to change the subject. “The serious girlfriend … she’s the one in the photo on the fridge?”

  Kyle nodded. “Yep. Crystal. We dated for a couple of years.”

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t know if we should talk about it.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m hoping we might have sex again, and I’m pretty sure that if we keep talking about my ex, that won’t happen.”

  Laney laughed, and let it go. His plan was better. So much better. She moved the tray off the bed and slithered up Kyle’s body until all the necessary bits fit together.

  Seven

  Two hours later, Laney stepped out of the shower at the farmhouse. Kyle had suggested they shower together at his place, but she knew she needed to get home before her family returned or Evie would figure out how she had spent the morning. And a decent chunk of the afternoon as well. She grinned. Definitely not what her mother intended when she sent him across the road, but she finally felt like their breakup made sense. What they’d had was too big for either of them to handle, the combination of puppy love and intense chemistry overwhelming for young adults trying to find their individual paths. She once believed that love and chemistry were one and the same, and she blocked both out of her life, but today blew that idea out of the water. Laney wiped the condensation off the mirror and stared at herself. Her eyes were clear, her heart was calm. She didn’t love Kyle. But boy oh boy, has he raised the bar on awesome sex. She peered at her reflection like it might be lying to her, but she knew it wasn’t. She was content about her history for the first time in a long time. Slightly miffed that she’d let sex get so mechanical and routine, but otherwise at peace with the path from past to present. If Kyle hadn’t broken up with her, she wouldn’t have travelled across the country, might have stuck with her original plan of a family medicine practice in Wardham, wouldn’t have discovered the magic of reconstructive surgery. He freed her, even if it was in a shitty and emotionally stunted way. And it seemed like he suffered for that just as much as she did. They’d both wasted enough time on regret.

  “Laney? We’re home.”

  “I’m just getting out of the shower, Mom, be right down.” She reached for a towel, wondering how soon she could pop over to the school house again.

  The rest of that day and the next were dominated by Connor and Max. Part of Laney was disappointed that she didn’t have any time to see Kyle again, but she convinced herself it was a small part, driven primarily by the delicious ache between her legs, and resolved to not care. Her nephews filled her time and attention with dragon-slaying and fort-building, and before she knew it, she was reading them a bedtime story for the second night in a row.

  Downstairs, she found her sister taking a large castle out of its box.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Toy manufacturers hate parents. Did you know that? They think we don’t suffer enough, so they package toys with unnecessary twist-ties, zip-ties and the occasional screw, all in the name of ruining Christmas morning.”

  “Uh…okay, I’m sorry I asked.”

  Evie blew a lock of hair out of her eyes and laughed. “Max is going to be desperate to play with this when he opens it, so I’m trying to eliminate the painful bouncing-yelling-whining that would happen if I need to release this thing from the clutches of packaging while he waits. Last year I had the same idea, but I did it on Christmas Eve. This year, I want everything done so tomorrow night can just be about carols and cocoa and an early bedtime.”

  “Living large in Wardham, eh?”

  “Shut up, you like an early bedtime even more than me.”

  Laney curled up on the couch. “That’s true. So…remember what we were talking about the other day?”

  “Mom’s meddling or how crazy my kids are? I’m familiar with both concepts.”

  “The first one. And that maybe I needed to talk to K
yle.”

  “Mm-hmm.” Evie’s head disappeared behind the back of the castle.

  “Well, I did. I went over there yesterday and we talked. It was good.” And then we didn’t, and that was even better.

  “Oh Laney…” Evie shoved the castle aside and pinned her under a heavy gaze. “It was good? Really? You’re fine?”

  “Really. I know, I asked myself the same thing. But yeah, I feel totally fine now. A bit silly for wasting so much time on bitterness, but knowing that he wasn’t left unscathed…I don’t know, we just…” licked each other’s wounds all better “…came to an understanding.”

  “Well, that’s good. I’m glad you’ve finally put him behind you.”

  Laney blushed, thinking that Kyle was the one who had put himself behind her the second time.

  “You have, right? You need to move forward, not backward. The last thing I’d want is for Kyle to break your heart again.”

  She considered telling Evie what had really happened, but doubted that her sister would think it was quite as hot as she did. “Guaranteed, Ev, my heart is untouchable. If I hadn’t learned that from Kyle, I did from you and Mom.”

  Claire wandered in just in time to catch the tail end of Laney’s pronouncement. “Oh no, Laney, don’t say that!”

  “Why not? It’s true. Love has done quite the number on both of you.”

  Evie tucked the castle into the box and grabbed a roll of wrapping paper. “Normally I’d agree with Mom, but in this case, whatever keeps you from falling in love with Kyle again is fine by me.”

  Claire’s eyes twinkled and Laney groaned. “Thanks for that.”

  “Delaney, did you run into Kyle?”

  She was so tempted to share all of the sticky, lurid details with her mom as payback for her initial meddling, except in the end it hadn’t been such a bad plan at all. “You know I did. Since when are you afraid to drive a tractor?”

  “I was wearing my new jeans and it looked greasy.”

  “Yeah, right. Well, that was awkward, when he showed up at the door, but then yesterday I went over to his place and we talked. It was less awkward and more…” intimate “…productive.”

  “I’m so glad, sweetheart. You’ve held onto that sadness for too long. But your sister is right to be worried. Kyle has always had a strong hold on your emotions. I want you to be free of that, not just trade love for hate and vice versa.”

  It was Laney’s turn to blow hair out of her face this time. She was starting to get pissed off, a common theme in Calhoun late night chats. “Three things. First, I’m a grown-up, let me worry about my feelings, be they over the top or utterly lacking. Second, I. Am. Not. In. Love. With. Anyone. Love is still overrated and unnecessary. Third, I think it’s time for cookies and tea, yes?”

  She headed into the kitchen, but her sister and mother just followed. Escape was not going to be that easy.

  “Laney, we just want you to be happy,” Claire said.

  “I am happy. I have a great job, and an interesting social life, and despite them being incredibly annoying, I even like my family. I finally settled my feelings about a long-ago ex-boyfriend and it’s still not good enough for you both.”

  Evie reached past Laney to grab a teapot off the shelf. “You know, I wouldn’t change a thing about my relationship with Dale.”

  Laney snorted.

  “Really. He gave me two awesome kids. If I hadn’t married him, I wouldn’t have them.”

  “And I wouldn’t have given up knowing and loving your dad, even though his death was so hard on me.”

  Laney looked at the beautiful, crazy women in front of her. “Of course, you say that now. But from my perspective, if having kids means dealing with a deadbeat ex-husband, or if having a grand love affair means someone suffers through a year of depression at the end of it … it’s probably safer to stick to being a party of one.”

  Claire pulled her daughter in for a gentle hug. “I wish I could explain just how wrong you are, sweetie, but it might be something that you need to experience for yourself.”

  “Isn’t that what losing Kyle was? And now I’ve moved on. As you wanted me to, remember.”

  “You were young. I want you to have a meaningful adult relationship.”

  Laney’s jaw twitched. “Not that young. Too young to make it work, maybe, but not too young to know what it was.”

  Claire paused, knowing she’d pushed her daughter to her limit. “Okay. I’m sorry. You’re right, this is none of my business.”

  Evie busied herself with putting spelt cookies on a plate, and the tension ebbed.

  Eight

  Christmas Eve morning at the Calhoun farm started with group Pilates. Laney thought about bowing out and going for a run by herself instead, but Connor promised that “Ninja Monster Pilates is way different than boring Mom Pilates, don’t worry!” And he was right. Max sat on her abs while she did The Hundred, and Connor challenged her to beat him in double leg lifts. She couldn’t. Humbled by an eight year old.

  After inhaling plain yogurt and homemade granola for breakfast, everyone pitched in to prep food for the next two days. Calhouns never procrastinated, and holiday meals were no exception. Claire set to work on stuffing and pie for Christmas dinner, while Evie and the boys prepped clam chowder for that night. That left the traditional Christmas Eve bread pudding for Laney, but when she went to get a loaf of bread from the pantry, Evie and Claire exchanged guilty looks.

  “You didn’t get extra bread?”

  “We decided to have fruit salad for dessert instead,” Evie said. “Bread pudding is so excessive.”

  “You’re a lunatic. It’s Christmas, we’re having bread pudding. I’ll run into town, do we need anything else? What else were you thinking of eliminating from the menu?”

  It had been years since Laney had last driven into Wardham, but it looked pretty much the same. She parked in front of Wardham Grocery and paused on the sidewalk to take in her home town. A fancy coffee shop had opened up a few doors down, and the bank had been recently renovated, but otherwise it looked like the same place she spent her first 21 years.

  Inside the grocery store, she recognized Karen Miller at the checkout. Karen’s younger brother had been in Laney’s grade in high school, and a few years after graduation had been drafted into the NHL. She wasn’t sure if Karen would remember her or not, but offered a little wave to be friendly. It was returned, along with a surprised smile. She didn’t know what to make of that, so she grabbed a cart and went in search of day-old bread.

  Potato chips for the top of the cabbage casserole and marshmallows for the sweet potatoes, along with nibblies and ginger ale for the afternoon, completed her purchases. Laney was as health conscious as the next person, she was a doctor for goodness sake, but her sister went too far.

  A display of pet accessories caught her eye. Maybe she should get Kyle and Buddy Christmas presents. It would just be neighbourly. She grabbed a purple Kong before she could change her mind and went in search of peanut butter.

  Kyle was harder to find something for in the grocery store, but as she moved down the soft drink aisle, she saw a display of energy drinks. Red Bull reminded her of the year before they started dating. Late night studying infused with sexual frustration and stolen glances. A shiver raced up her spine, and she grabbed a four pack. It wasn’t the worst Christmas present in the world, and it would be an excuse to stop at the school house.

  It is an absolutely awful gift, but if we get naked, he probably won’t care. The promise of quick and dirty sex spurred Laney toward the checkout counter. She grabbed a tin of mints and added it to her pile.

  “Nice to see you again, Laney. Back for Christmas?”

  “Hi, Karen. Yep, we’re all at the farm.”

  “Have you seen Kyle?”

  She did a double take. How was that anyone else’s business, and why did Karen Miller care? “What? Why?”

  “Everyone liked you two together.”

  “That was a long time ag
o, Karen. How much do I owe you?”

  Karen took her time finding the total button. Laney wanted to throw a fifty at her and run. “I shouldn’t have said anything, it’s just…never mind.”

  Laney was still annoyed, but there wasn’t anyone else in the store, and curiosity got the better of her. “Just what?”

  “He hasn’t dated in a while, and when your mom said that you were coming home for the holidays, we thought maybe it might be an opportunity for him to deal with your breakup.”

  “We who? You and my mom?” Laney couldn’t believe her ears. The meddling in Wardham was reaching new heights, and her mother had a lot of explaining to do.

  “Oh no! Right, you’ve been gone a while. Kyle’s brother married Carrie, my best friend? Evie knows her. Anyway, it was one conversation, that’s all.” Karen was back-peddling hard. “I’ve really overstepped here, I’m sorry.” She bit her lip, and Laney felt some of her anger slip away.

  “Right. Well, I think everyone should probably just mind their own business. Kyle’s a grown man, he can take care of himself.”

  It took another fifteen minutes for Laney to stash her groceries in the car and grab a latte from the coffee shop/bakery, because she was stopped by three people who wanted to tell her how happy they were she was visiting for the holidays and to ask if she’d seen Kyle yet. She considered stopping at the drugstore for a gift bag, but decided if she was going to have any time for a quickie, the presents should probably just be wrapped in a grocery bag.

  She parked her car on the far side of the school house from her mom’s farm. Not hiding where she was, but at the same time, she was quite done with questions for the day.

  Kyle opened the door at the second knock. He raised his eyebrows and flashed a wide, easy smile. “Hey, you. I wasn’t sure if…I thought you might be busy with family stuff.”

  “I have been.” She held out the grocery bag. “I was shopping and decided to get you and Buddy some Christmas presents.”

  He pulled her inside and closed the door. He slid the package out of her grasp, placed it on a small table next to the entrance and closed the gap between them. “Thank you. I’ll open it in a minute. But first—” He slid one hand behind her neck “—I’m going to kiss you, okay?”