by Sharon Booth
She seemed to realise that her voice had risen and glanced around, but no one was taking any notice of her. Cain felt awkward, wondering how on earth he could make her feel better when she'd been through such a horrible time.
'I'm so sorry,' she murmured. 'Far too much information. I apologise.'
His hand covered hers and he leaned towards her. 'Not at all, love,' he murmured. 'You obviously needed to pour all this out. Reckon it's been burning away inside you for years, and no wonder. I'm really honoured you chose to share it with me.'
She looked into his eyes and gave a faint smile. 'Thank you, Jeff. That's very kind of you.' She wiped her eyes and composed herself. 'You know, really, he did me a favour.'
'He did?' Cain couldn't see it himself.
'Oh, yes. Somehow, when we were having an intimate relationship, it kept us bonded. Or rather, it kept me bonded to him. It's peculiar, but when he cut that bond, it broke the spell. For the first time, I seemed to step out of the relationship and look at it from an outsider's perspective, and I realised how stupid I'd been, and how little he cared about me throughout our entire marriage.'
'Does anyone else know about this? I mean, that you and your husband don't —'
She shook her head. 'Nobody. Nobody knows. It would kill him. He makes very sure that we always share a bedroom.' She wrinkled her nose. 'Although, when he does finally come to bed in the early hours of the morning — hoping I'm asleep, no doubt — he turns his back on me immediately and is asleep within minutes.'
'Connie,' Cain squeezed her hand, 'no offence, love but — what the fuck are you doing with him?'
Her eyes widened as if she'd never asked herself that question before. He wondered what her reasons were. Why was she with him? What was keeping her there? Some misguided sense of loyalty? Fear of a future without him? The unknown? Or was it simply cold, hard cash?
'I don't know,' she whispered. 'All I know is I'm so tired. And I'm so sad. I've been lonely for so long. I can't even remember the last time he kissed me or gave me a cuddle. What kind of marriage is this?'
A rogue tear escaped her eye, rolled down her cheek and leapt to freedom, landing on the tablecloth. Cain put his arm around her. 'What kind of life is this?' he murmured. 'Maybe it's time you started to be happy again, eh? And maybe you need to figure out exactly what's keeping you tied to this jerk. You deserve better, Connie, and I swear to you, you can do this. There's a big wide world out there. Time you explored a bit of it, eh?'
She smiled at him through her tears. 'I expect you're wondering what on earth you've got involved in,' she said. 'I must sound so miserable, so needy. I expect you can't wait to escape.'
Cain stroked her hair and kissed her lightly on the cheek. The terrifying truth was, her confession hadn't put him off her at all. In fact, if anything, it had only made him want her more. But he was no good at relationships, and they always ended the same way, with the woman demanding a small fortune from him and a whole load of bitterness and acrimony. He couldn't face all that again, which was why he'd jumped at the chance of a no-strings, sex-only fling. This wasn't turning out at all as he'd expected. What the hell was he going to do about it?
Chapter Twenty-Four
It was just two days before the first guests arrived. Eden was in the larger bunk barn kitchen, making an inventory of all their new equipment — a task that, for some reason that Emerald simply couldn't fathom, made her squeal in excitement as she reeled off the list of appliances and gadgets to a clearly bemused Eliot. Emerald had excused herself and gone to help Jed instead, and the two of them were making themselves useful in the smaller barn, putting together the bunks, and hanging curtains. At least, Jed was putting together the bunks and Emerald was holding the curtains in her hands while staring in some bewilderment at the plastic hooks that came with them and trying to fathom out how to slot them in.
'You'd think there'd be some sort of instructions with these,' she grumbled.
Jed looked up and grinned. 'You've never hung curtains before?'
'Why would I?' she demanded. 'Anyway, you needn't look so smug. Have you?'
He had to admit he hadn't. 'But, come on, how hard can it be?'
Emerald sighed and dropped onto the floor beside Bella, who'd ventured out of the house for probably the first time in her life to be with Emerald. Emerald couldn't help but feel flattered. The cat didn't seem particularly fond of anyone else at Fleetsthorpe, but she'd really bonded with her. At least someone loved her.
Sitting cross-legged, she eyed the curtain hooks dubiously. 'It's a bit complicated,' she said. 'What?' she added, starting to laugh as Jed gave her a wry look. 'Don't look like that! You think I'm stupid, don't you?'
'Believe me, Emmy, that's the last thing I think,' he assured her. 'How are you supposed to know what to do if you've never done it before? Do you want me to help?'
'No. You've got enough to do. Maybe I'd be better helping you put those bunks together.'
He sucked in his cheeks. 'Not if we don't want our guests to sue us for injuries when their beds collapse.'
She raised an eyebrow. 'Our guests?'
He turned away, tightening the bolts with an allen key as he muttered, 'You know what I mean.'
'You really like it here, don't you?' she said, watching him thoughtfully. 'On the farm, I mean. You feel right at home.'
He nodded. 'I guess I do, yeah. I spent years on my first stepfather's ranch, and I loved it there. He raised cattle and we had horses. It was a great life. Of course, it didn't last, 'cos Mom met stepdad number two and had moved in with him before you could say store card, which surprised no one. She was growing very bored of country life and Walt had a fabulous house in New York, and, in the end, cattle couldn't compete with trips to the theatre, and all those department stores, and a credit card with practically no limit. But I really missed the life. Being here —' he looked around, as if seeing fields and hills rather than cream-painted walls, 'it kind of reminds me of that life. I'd forgotten how much I loved it. The fresh air, the wide-open spaces, the animals. I feel happier here than I have in years.'
Emerald sighed. 'It is beautiful,' she admitted. 'But it's so remote, isn't it? So far away from — everything.'
He stood, stretching his back as he surveyed the finished bunk. 'I guess so, if by everything you mean Dad.'
Emerald scowled and grabbed the bag of curtain hooks from the floor. Giving them a vicious yank to open the bag, she tutted as the plastic split and the hooks tumbled to the floor. 'I didn't mention Dad.'
'You didn't have to,' he said softly. He rubbed his back and dropped the allen key on the bedside cabinet he'd put together the day before. 'I guess home is about a lot more than countryside and scenery, right? It's people. People we love. People who love us.'
'Which is probably why I've never felt as if I had a home,' she admitted. 'Mother was never the loving sort. She called me yesterday, by the way. She'd battled the elements to get to the village and rang me from the post office. Wanted to make sure I was transferring my allowance this month, and to ask me if Dad was involved with anyone. She didn't even ask how I was. Not that I expected her to. She never noticed me, even when I was a kid. Too busy channelling Flora McDonald or whoever. I wanted —' she sighed. 'I don't know what I wanted.'
'Oh, I think you do,' he said.
Emerald shrugged. 'Anyway, what about you?'
He raised an eyebrow. 'What about me?'
'You said home is about people we love, who love us. Where's your home? Who are your people?'
Jed said nothing, and Emerald watched as he made a great show of gathering up the various bits of packaging and tools. She waited for a few moments, then said, 'Is America still your home? Deep down, I mean. I know you're avoiding the place right now, but in your heart ...'
Jed hesitated, then shook his head. 'No. America's not my home anymore.' He watched her for a moment, as if considering how much to tell her, then sank onto the floor beside her. 'I can't see me ever going back there. E
ngland's my home now. I'm glad to be back.'
'And your people?'
He smiled. 'I'm in touch with Mom and Clint, and Scarlet and Luke, if that's what you mean.'
'It isn't,' she said brutally. 'And I think you know that perfectly well.'
'Wow, you take no prisoners.' He reared away, grinning. 'Okay, well, I guess the truth is, my home was definitely America for some years, but now it's not. Now, my home is here, and I'm finally starting to settle again.'
She narrowed her eyes. 'And would that have something to do with a certain lady of the vicinity?'
Jed distinctly flushed, and Emerald's heart sank. So, she was right! She'd hoped she was imagining it. Okay, she really wanted her brother to be happy because, whatever had gone on in the States had clearly made him very miserable indeed, and she'd been delighted to see the colour returning to his cheeks and the sparkle to his eyes. But, really, falling for Eden was about the worst thing he could do. That bitch would string him along and break his heart. Besides, Eliot would kill him. She scooped Bella into her arms and kissed her between her ears, eyeing her brother worriedly.
'How did you —'
'I've got eyes. You're very transparent, to be honest. You need to be careful, Jed. Have you forgotten she's taken?'
He searched her face, seeming to be looking for signs of approval or otherwise, trying to decide how much to confide. 'We love each other,' he said. 'It's that simple.'
'Except, it isn't simple at all, is it?' she pointed out, wondering how Eden had managed to hook her brother so completely, and why he wasn't more concerned about destroying Eliot and those precious kids he seemed to adore.
'Emmy, I know it's a mess,' he said, 'but she's not happy. If she was do you really think she'd have looked twice at me? She's not that sort of woman. I swear, she's never done this before.'
'That's her story,' Emerald muttered. 'How do you know she doesn't make a habit of it?'
His expression changed. His eyes darkened, and his brows knitted together. Emerald thought that, when it suited him, Jed could glower almost as fiercely as Eliot. 'Because I know her. I'm telling you, this is the first time, and the last. Beth and me are for keeps.'
Emerald nearly choked with shock. Beth! Since when? My God, she'd really got that wrong, hadn't she? But James! What about poor James? 'You're really serious about her? It's not just a fling?'
Jed gathered up the curtain hooks and gazed at them as if they were suddenly fascinating. 'I really love her,' he said in a low voice. 'I can't help it, Emmy. There's something between us that we can't fight. It's like,' he looked up at her, his eyes shining suddenly, 'we knew it the moment we met. As if we'd been waiting for each other.' He laughed. 'I know. It sounds crazy, huh?'
Emerald swallowed. She'd been thinking how beautiful it sounded, and how lucky Jed and Beth were to have experienced such a feeling. But there was James to think about. She didn't know how to feel about it all.
Then she remembered the look on Jed's face that day of Honey's wedding. She recalled the tired eyes, the defeated expression, the weary posture. She remembered how worried she'd been about him, how she'd wondered who had hurt him. She looked into his eyes and saw the love and excitement shining from them, and suddenly it wasn't difficult at all. 'I'm happy for you,' she said, mentally apologising to James. 'I hope it works out for you.'
'You mean that?' He looked thrilled, as if her blessing really counted for something.
Emerald gulped, cuddling Bella tightly. 'Yes, of course I mean it. I want you to be happy, Jed. You're my big brother and I — I love you.'
She almost gasped out loud as he reached out and pulled her towards him, enfolding both her and the cat in a huge bear hug. 'Thank you, Emmy. That means more to me than I can ever tell you. I love you, too.'
As tears pricked at her eyes, Emerald vowed there and then that, no matter how kind or nice James Fuller was to her, Jed and Beth were going to make it. Nothing was going to stop them.
****
Eden was glad to get out of the post office. She had enough to do with the imminent arrival of the first guests at the bunk barns, and she'd wanted to get straight back home after dropping Ophelia at school and George at Mrs Thompson's. She could have done without the long queue.
Emerald could have got the stamps for the invitations, she thought crossly. She went out enough times, and it wouldn't have killed her to pop into a newsagent, supermarket or post office, depending on where she was, and get a few booklets of stamps.
And it had cost a fortune! She rarely posted anything, so had no idea how much the cost of sending a letter had gone up recently. All those invitations to post. Crazy, really. After all, most of them were going to people in the village. She could have shoved them through their letterboxes. Or got Emerald to, at any rate, she thought, smirking at the very idea.
'Ah, Eden, my dear.' Mrs Edwards swooped down upon her with little warning. She glanced down at the bundle of envelopes in Eden's hand and beamed at her. 'Are those the wedding invitations? How lovely that you're doing it properly. Do you know, some people invite guests by email or text these days? How disgraceful is that?'
She nodded approvingly at the thick envelopes. 'They look like good quality,' she said.
'They are,' Eden said, remembering the cost of them. Just because Cain was footing the bill didn't mean it was okay to waste money on unnecessary things, in her view, although Emerald was adamant that her father wanted them to have the best.
Best for whom? Eden was beginning to wonder.
'The wedding plans are coming on nicely then?' Mrs Edwards beamed. 'All on schedule?'
'I think so,' Eden said, adding honestly, 'our wedding planner's dealing with most of it. We just have to turn up.'
'Goodness. A wedding planner! How very modern of you,' Mrs Edwards said, looking a bit baffled.
'Isn't it,' Eden said glumly. 'I must go, Mrs Edwards, I've got such a lot to do today.'
'Of course, dear. It was lovely to see you again. Such a coincidence.'
'What is?'
'Well, I can go weeks, months without seeing either of you, but I bumped into Eliot yesterday and then you today. How odd.'
Eden wrinkled her nose. 'You bumped into Eliot yesterday? Where?'
'Didn't he say? Oh, well, why would he? In Camacker, dear. I was getting off the bus from Kirkby Skimmer and I saw him getting into his Land Rover. He was parked not far from the vicarage.'
Eden frowned. 'Did he see you?'
'Oh yes, I waved, and he waved back. Anyway, I'll let you get off. I have lots to do myself.' She leaned forward and whispered, 'I have a doctor's appointment.'
'Oh. Oh, well, I hope everything's okay,' Eden said, flummoxed.
'Oh, I'm sure it will be. When we get to a certain age, we have to expect some things to start giving up, don't we?'
'Er, I suppose so. I'll bear that in mind for future reference,' Eden said.
As Mrs Edwards hurried off, she checked through the invitations one more time, making sure they all bore a first-class stamp.
'Right, no going back now,' she muttered, and shoved them, a handful at a time, into the post box. Suddenly, it all seemed very official.
****
'I now declare this bunk barn officially open. May God bless her and all who stay in her.' Jed grinned and cut the ribbon, to the cheers of Eliot, Eden, Beth, Mickey and Adey, not to mention whoops of joy from the children.
'We're gunna be rich,' Ophelia told George, who raised his arms in the air and yelled, 'Yay!' at the top of his voice.
'Let's not get too carried away,' Eden said, with a wry grin. 'Although, I did two cream teas yesterday, so that's a start.'
'It'll soon pick up,' Beth said. 'The weather's beautiful at the moment, and if it continues this way, I think you'll be swamped before you know it.'
'I saw loads of leaflets getting picked up from't' village shop,' Adey volunteered. 'Plenty of hikers were having a good nosy through them. If they pass that info onto their mates, you'l
l have loads of bookings, right enough.'
'Let's hope so,' Eliot said, raising his glass of beer to his lips. 'We're sunk if this dun't pay off.'
'It will,' Eden assured him, her fingers crossed tightly behind her back. She caught Beth's eye and gave her a rueful smile. Beth was all too aware of the precarious state of their finances. It was she who had persuaded them to have the leaflets printed and had gone into the village to beg Mrs Tucker at the shop and Jill and Dave at The King's Head to place them on their premises, so any passing hikers would find them.
Together with Jed's work on the website and Facebook page, and advertisements in various magazines for hikers and Yorkshire tourists, they were certainly getting their business known. Now it had to work.
'Glass of champagne, Jed?' Eden held up the bottle as Jed strolled over to the picnic table and joined them, having safely returned the scissors to the farmhouse, away from George's eager grasp.
'Don't mind if I do,' he said. 'Now that I've done my official duties, that is.'
'Fancy us having a genuine rock star cutting the ribbon on our little bunk barn,' Eden giggled. 'We should have called the local papers.'
Jed gave her a knowing look. 'And you know what would have happened if you had. You'd have looked like crazy people, 'cos I'd have been long gone.' He gave a sigh of satisfaction as she filled his glass with champagne — a gift from Cain.
'You don't miss it then?' Adey asked, curious. He'd been overwhelmed when he'd realised who Jed was, having been quite a fan of Raven's Wing himself. 'I'm gutted you've left. Your guitar playing is legendary.'