The Stick Handler

by Cathryn Fox

  Luke skates back to me, with two cups in his hand. “Hot chocolate,” he says.

  I take it from him and smell the chocolate. “Mmm,” I say, but think twice about drinking it. After a week of indulging, my pants are beginning to tighten.

  “Drink it, you’re perfect,” he says. I shake my head, and wish he couldn’t read me so well.

  I take a sip from the cup, and warmth goes through me. “You’re paying for my extra yoga classes when we get home.”

  He laughs. “Anything for you, Katee.”

  “Luke?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you worried about going back? Worried about what Ari wants to do?”

  He frowns and looks down. Once again, I get the sense that he’s holding something back from me. “I’m looking forward to getting back on the ice,” he says.

  What about Ari? Doesn’t he miss her?

  My heart gives a little jolt. Is it possible that after this week, he’s come to his senses and sees what kind of girl she really is? I never thought the pampered princess was meant for him. But like I said, I never thought any of the girls he went out with were right for him.

  And why is that?

  Oh, probably because none of them were me.

  I’m in love with my best friend.

  Dammit, girl. What have you done?

  “I think I’d like to go back to our room. I have some packing to do,” I say.

  Luke’s gaze rakes over my face. “It’s our last night. You don’t want to do something fun?”

  “I’m worn out,” I say. “Plus, I want to go into the gift stores and pick up a few things for my mom and some friends.”

  “Okay, I’ll go with you.”

  I put my hand on his chest, and he angles his head. “No,” I say quickly, maybe too quickly, judging by the way his brow is furrowing. Hurrying to explain, I say, “I know you hate shopping, and getting you into the stores to get the swim suit was painful enough. I’ll go by myself.”

  “Really?” he says, and I force a smile, pretending there is nothing wrong with me.

  “Yes, really. I might even check with Becca to see if she wants to go with me. She mentioned something about shopping the other day.”

  That seems to relax him. “Oh, okay. Then I’m out.”

  We leave the rink, and sit on the bench to take off our rental skates. Luke drops to his knees before me and tears prick my eyes when he begins to loosen my laces. My God, I am so much in love with this man. I take a deep breath and it turns to fog in front of my face when I let it out slowly.

  “You are tired, aren’t you?” Luke says.

  “Yeah,” I say, thankful he’s mistaken my emotions.

  “Let’s get room service, then you can hit the shops.”

  I nod, and he puts his arm around me and leads me back to our suite. The warmth of the place washes over me and I glance around, memorize the place, and all the beautiful things we did in that bed…and that shower.

  Luke places our order, and I busy myself with folding all my clothes and arranging them neatly in my suitcase. I flick the TV on, needing the background noise to keep me from dwelling on all the chaotic emotions making me weepy. Soon enough our food comes, and we enjoy a quiet dinner together, the last one we’ll have at the resort.

  “That was delicious,” I say, as I push my plate away.

  “Dessert?”

  “Hell no.” I check the time.

  “You’re perfect,” he says.

  I roll my eyes at him. “I’d better get ready to go.”

  “I’m going to jump in the shower.” He bends down, gives me a warm kiss on the mouth, and says, “Hurry back.”

  He disappears into the bathroom, and when the water turns on, I press my palms to my eyes and work to pull myself together. My mind goes back to all the amazing sex we had this week. As I reminisce, I once again can’t help but think last night we made love in that bed.

  Is it possible?

  The things that man brought out in me, the things he says to me, every time he tells me I’m perfect, I can’t help but think he might want more. But I’m so damn afraid to set myself up for failure. What if I say something and he doesn’t want more?

  What if he does?

  My heart leaps at that. Maybe I’m not a rebound, and maybe he was using the lessons as an excuse to be with me. Oh, God, do I dare hope? I stand quickly, and my chair nearly falls backward. I need to talk to him, to find out how he feels. If I don’t I could spend the rest of my life regretting it.

  I walk toward the bathroom when the suite’s phone begins to ring. Who the hell could that be? I change directions head toward the phone. Perhaps it’s Becca. Then again, we exchanged cell phone numbers, so I can’t see her calling on the landline. I reach for the phone, and put it to my ear.

  “Hello.”

  A pause and then, “Who is this?”

  “Ah, it’s Katee Williams. I think you might have the wrong room.”

  Curses come through the line, along with a bit of static. “Where is Luke?”

  My heart jumps into my throat. Oh, God, it’s Arianna. How the hell did she get this number? Then again, I guess it wouldn’t be too hard. A call to the switchboard would easily put her through.

  “He’s unavailable right now. Can I take a message?” I ask politely.

  “What the hell are you doing there with Luke?” she spits out.

  “I’m just keeping him company.” What the hell am I supposed to say. Oh, I’ve been having sex with him because you rejected him.

  “Of course you are.” She laughs. “It’s not like I have anything to worry about when it comes to you. He told me all you’d ever be to him was his tomboy friend.”

  “I…am his friend,” I say as old insecurities come rushing back. Did I really think for one minute that he could want more from me? Maybe I really am just a rebound. Someone to lose himself in as he waits for Ariana to come to her senses.

  “Tell him I’ve had enough time to think. I’m ready to walk down the aisle with him.”

  The room goes fuzzy around me, and I sink down into the chair. I should feel happy. I want to feel happy. This is what Luke has been wanting to hear, right?

  “Are you there?” she asks, her tone cruel and impatient.

  “I’m here.”

  “Tell him I called. Better yet, don’t. I’ll be at the airport waiting for him. I want it to be a surprise.”

  “Okay,” I say, and the other end of the line goes dead.

  I sit there for a few minutes, and try to wrap my brain around what just happened. Ari wants Luke back and is going to surprise him at the airport.

  I take a fast breath, then another and another until I feel dizzy. I think back to when we first arrived. I told Luke I was sorry that things weren’t the way they were supposed to be. He agreed. Then there was the time I said after one week everything with Ari would be okay, and he said he hoped so. I can’t forget the time his cell phone rang, and I said it might be Ari changing her mind. Once again his quiet response to that was he hoped she did. Oh, Jesus, I never should have come here with him. Sure, we might have won the honeymoon couples game, but that’s only because we go way back. We’re friends, nothing more.

  I glance around the room, and the need to flee, to escape the things I’m feeling, pulls at me hard. I jump up, tug on my boots, grab my coat and purse and rush out the door.

  My mind is a chaotic mess as I step on the elevator, and the slap of wind when I leave the hotel is a welcome wake-up call. With no idea where I’m going, I walk. Night has fallen over the ski village as I follow the path that leads to the ski hill lounge. I step inside, glance around at all the unfamiliar faces and take a seat at the bar.

  The bartender tosses a rag over my shoulder, and glances at me. “What can I get for you?” he asks.

  Since I’m going to need something strong to get me thought this, I say, “Bourbon, straight up.”

  A familiar guy sits beside me and says, “Make that two.”
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  15

  Luke

  Where the hell is Katee?

  I glance at the clock. She’s been gone for hours now. Ignoring the hundreds of messages on my phone, I try texting her again, but I’m still not getting any response. I call again, but it goes straight to voice mail. Unease morphs to panic, and I pace from the door to the window. It’s nearing eleven and I’m pretty sure the shops closed ages ago. Maybe she went for a drink with her new friend, or maybe she’s lost or hurt.

  Okay, enough of this. I pull on my jeans and a sweater, grab my coat and head out the door. The resort is huge and I have no idea where to look, but decide to head to the shops. I make my way to the center of the village, but the stores are all closed. Jesus Christ. Maybe I should check in with security. As full-blown worry burns through me, I head to the bars. The first few I check, she’s nowhere to be found. I start to make my way back to the suite, hoping she’s returned, when I hear laughter coming from the ski hill lounge. I turn and follow the path.

  I pull open the heavy door, and laughter and music fall over me. I scan the place, but she’s not here. I grip my hair and wrack my brain as I tug. I do another quick scan when a movement catches my attention. Relief washes through me when I find Katee coming from the ladies’ room. I lift my hand to wave to her, but she stumbles a bit. What the hell is going on?

  I’m weaving my way through the crowd and making my way to her, but stop abruptly when she settles into a chair next to the douche bag from the water volley ball game. Oh, hell no!

  As anger burns through my blood, I step up to her. “Katee, it’s time to go.”

  Glassy eyes latch onto mine. “Luke,” she says, “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here to bring you back home.”

  She waves her hand at me. “I don’t want to go home. I’m having drinks with my new friend Jacob.”

  I turn to Jacob who stands to his full height. “Is there a problem?” he asks.

  “Yeah, there’s a fucking problem,” I say. “You’re having drinks with my wife, and that’s a big fucking problem for me, asshole.”

  Jacob laughs. “Your wife. The gig is up, dude. She told me everything.”

  My gaze flies to Katee’s, and my heart jumps in my chest. “Katee, what’s going on?”

  She waves a dismissive hand my way, and turns away. “I told you I’m having drinks with my new friend.”

  “I think you should come with me.”

  I touch her arm and she jerks it away. “You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not really my husband,” she says, her words slurred slightly.

  “You’re not going back to this guy’s room,” I say blatantly.

  “I can do what I want.”

  Jacob pokes his finger into my chest and sways a little. Looks like he had also had too much to drink. “Yeah, dude, she can do what she wants.”

  Before I can think better of it, I shove Jacob and he goes flying backward, falling into a table and crashing to the floor. As everyone jumps, the commotion gaining their attention, I use that opportunity to lift Katee from her chair, whether she likes it or not. I hate going all Neanderthal on her, but she’s not safe with this guy.

  “Luke, don’t,” she says feebly as I grab her coat and lead her outdoors. She blinks as the cold washes over her and I help her into her coat, zipper it to her neck. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Putting you to bed. You had too much to drink, and I don’t want you to regret your decisions come morning.”

  “We never should have slept together,” she says as I put my arm around her waist and lead her along the path. “That’s the decision I regret.”

  I clamp my mouth shut, despite the storm going on inside me, and get her back to our room. Once inside, I undress her, leaving her in her bra and panties, and get her a glass of water. I root through her bag until I find a bottle of acetaminophen and I place it on her nightstand. She falls fast asleep and I slide in beside her. Everything was going so good between us. After her shopping trip, I had planned to tell her all the things I loved about her, tell her what she means to me. But she never came back. I have no idea what happened to her tonight, or why she decided it was a good idea to drink with a stranger in a bar, but come tomorrow morning, I sure as hell plan on finding out.

  I close my eyes, and the next thing I know, an agonized moan is pulling me awake. I glance at the clock. Dammit, we slept in. We have a plane to catch in a couple of hours. At least we’ll have time to talk on the long flight back to Seattle.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask quietly.

  “Horrible.” She turns to me and her eyes are red, her hair a tangled mess.

  “Let’s get you in the shower.”

  She shoves the blankets off, and then winces. “I can shower myself.”

  As she pushes me away, physically and emotionally, my stomach clenches. “We have to hurry. We have a plane to catch.”

  “I can be fast.”

  She walks away from me and closes the bathroom door. Bile punches into my throat at the sound of the lock clicking into place. What the fuck is going on? Why is she distancing herself from me? My mind races as I climb from the bed, and toss my clothes into my suitcase. Is this her way of telling me it’s over between us, that we had fun here, but now it’s time to get back to the real world? Still, this is so characteristic of the girl I’ve known since I was a kid.

  I finish packing and she comes from the bathroom wrapped in a towel. She continues to avert her gaze as I stare at her, waiting for some sort of explanation as to why she went drinking with a stranger last night.

  When she continues to ignore me, I hurry to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I finish and find her sitting at the kitchen table, fully dressed, her head resting in her hands.

  “Killer headache?” I ask.

  “Something like that,” she says and finally looks at me. My heart jumps into my throat when I see the blankness in her stare. Have I lost her as a girlfriend, or worse, as a friend?

  “Katee, why—”

  “We should get going. We don’t want to miss our flight.” She stands and grabs her suitcase.

  I dress quickly, tug on my winter clothes, and meet her at the door. In the lobby, we call for a car, and I grab us each a coffee and a muffin for the road. She’s quiet on the way to the airport, and while one part of me wants to press, to find out what’s going on between us, there is another part of me that is terrified of the answer.

  We make our way through security and when we’re finally in the air, I turn to talk to her, but she has her head resting on a pillow, her eyes closed. From her breathing, I can tell she’s still awake. Why the hell is she pretending to be asleep?

  Because it’s over, dude, and she’s trying to let you know that.

  Since I tossed and turned all night, sleep pulls at me too. I close my eyes until we land in JFK for our connecting flight. We grab a bite to eat, and every time I try to engage her in conversation, she changes the subject, talking about safe things, like hockey, her work, how busy she’ll be when she gets back.

  Soon enough, we’re on the plane back to Seattle, and once again, she has her head on her pillow. For the life of me I can’t understand the change in her. I’ve always been able to read her but she’s put up a wall that I can’t seem to climb over.

  My heart lodges in my throat. Fuck man, maybe I never should have played a stupid sex game with her. I’m pretty sure I fucked things up between us. I can’t let that happen. I can’t let anything come between us. She must be pulling away because she only wants to be friends, but can we be friends after this? Have I totally fucked up our lives?

  I try to breathe, but my chest is so goddam tight it’s hard to fill my lungs. I close my eyes, but can’t quiet my mind enough to sleep. My thoughts drift to Ari. As much as I hate it, I’m going to have to face her when I get back. I can only hope she’s come to her senses. If not, I’m not sure what I’ll do. One thing is for certain, I can’t marry her. But will tha
t put my career in jeopardy? I’m so seriously fucked, I don’t know what to do.

  I’m exhausted by the time the plane lands in Seattle, and Katee is moving slowly as we make our way to pick up our luggage. We took her car to the airport, and parked it in the lot. From the way she’s acting, I’m wondering if she’s even going to want to drive back home together. Our luggage finally arrives, and we make our way outside. As soon as I push through the doors, I find Arianna waiting for me.

  “Luke,” she cries out and throws her arms around me.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, as she peppers my face with kisses.

  “I’ve missed you.”

  I turn to find Katee, but she’s lost in the crowd. I catch a glimpse of her as she heads to the parking lot. “Katee, wait.”

  She ignores me and panic races through my blood. Arianna touches my cheek. “Forget about her,” she says and before I know what’s going on, I’m being shoved into a taxi, the driver loading my luggage as Ari slides in beside me.

  I try to climb out, but she latches on to me. “What the fuck, Ari.”

  “I gave you your week, now it’s time for us to get back on track.”

  I let go of the door handle and turn to her. “Is this really what you want? To be married to a guy you don’t love? A guy who doesn’t love you?”

  Her smile drops and venomous eyes glare at me. “We can be good together, Luke.”

  “No, we can’t.”

  “Are you forgetting that I can destroy you?”

  “Go ahead and try. I don’t care anymore.”

  Her head rear back. “You’re kidding me?”

  “No, I’m not. I’m in love with someone else. I always have been.”

  Her eyes go wide and she looks out into the crowd. “You can’t be talking about that tomboy.”

  “She’s not a tomboy.”

  “No, she’s a conniving whore. That’s why she went away with you on our honeymoon. She’s been trying to get you in to her bed for as long as I’ve known you. When I called your room—”