All In

by Amy DeMeritt

  “Ash, you don’t have to explain or apologize for your friendship with Gloria. I’m not threatened by her. I respect her and what she means to you. She’s your family and I’m happy you have someone who cares about you as much as she does. You deserve that kind of love and support. I just hope that in time, I’m able to give you the same.”

  Moved by her sincerity and the stark difference between Skylar and every other woman she has tried to date since she met Gloria, including Erin, Ashton bends down and engages Skylar in a deep, sensual kiss. Their hands glide over each other’s backs, shoulders, hips, and hair in their passion. Their breathing increases, their bodies warm, and their minds cloud over.

  As Ashton grabs the waist of her jeans and pulls the button loose, Skylar experiences a body quaking spasm of pleasure, jerking her head back with a moan.

  “Ash,” she gasps for air, “you’re not strong enough for that yet.”

  “I’m not strong enough to receive, but I can deliver.”

  “Oh, Ash, you’re so sweet.” She reaches up and kisses her lips for a few moments. “I want my first time with you to be with you.” She gives her another soft kiss. “Ash,” she briefly bites her bottom lip, “I want to tell you something.”

  “You can tell me anything.”

  “Promise me,” she grins as she bites her bottom lip, “that after I tell you, you will behave.”

  Ashton releases a small laugh and nods. “I promise not to try to get in your pants again.”

  She caresses Ashton’s cheeks as she takes a deep breath, and while looking into Ashton’s mesmerizing light gray eyes, she sweetly and confidently says, “Ashton Maria Hyland, I love you.”

  “Skylar Cassady West, I love you too.” Skylar’s eyes tear up with a beautiful smile. Ashton caresses her cheek as she inhales deeply through her nose. “You’re like a deep breath of fresh air after being in a smoke choked fire for too long. But I need to ask you something. I need to know what you want for your future. You told me it has always been a dream to pursue a career in music, but you haven’t extended that dream beyond your uncle’s band because your parents worry about you. Do you want to have a real career in music – something bigger?”

  She suddenly looks nervous and presses in tighter against Ashton, gripping the back of her tee shirt tightly in her fists. “Ash, why are you asking me that at this moment? If I say yes, does that mean you don’t want to be with me?”

  “No, babe, of course not. I don’t know why I thought of it right now. But I want you to have all of your dreams. I don’t want you to continue the cycle of tossing your dreams into a box out of some self-sacrificing need to please everyone else. If your musical ambitions are greater than the gigs your uncle’s local band can score, I want to help you achieve those goals.”

  “Right now, what I want more than anything is to be yours and I want you to be mine. Since I met you, I feel like anything is possible. I’m not tossing anything in a box. I’m dumping the whole box out onto the floor with you. I want to see where we go and how we grow together. You want to know what I want most for my future?” She runs a hand up the back of Ashton’s head, combing through her hair. “I want someone who loves me like no one else can and I want a family with that person. I want that person to be you. I have never felt this way about anyone and that excites me more than anything else.”

  As she glides her hands up and down Skylar’s sides, over her ribs and the dip above her slightly jutting hips, Ashton asks, “Are you sure I can’t make love to you right now?”

  “Shit.” Skylar’s eyes narrow as she releases a sharp exhale and sways slightly from the pulse of pleasure that Ashton sends rippling through her body. “How do you do that so easily to me? You make me feel things I’ve never felt.” She swallows hard and places her hands on the top of Ashton’s chest. “You promised me you’ll behave.”

  “Aren’t I?”

  “No,” she laughs a little, “not at all. You know exactly what you’re doing to me right now.”

  “And you know exactly what you’re doing to me right now. You know you can’t say things like that to me and it not have a monumental impact.”

  Skylar grins as she glides the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip, then briefly bites the inside right corner of her mouth. “I have a monumental impact on you?”

  “You do.”

  “Good.” She takes a step back with a long exhale. “I’m going to get dressed now. Get into bed, Lieutenant. Or, should I start calling you Captain?” Ashton’s face spreads into a cheesy grin, making Skylar laugh a little as she pulls the tee shirt on. “I’m really proud of you.”

  “Thanks.” She walks to the side of the bed and pulls the covers down to climb in. “I’m not really sure how I feel about it.”

  Skylar quickly pulls on the shorts and climbs into the bed next to Ashton. “Why aren’t you excited? Isn’t it a huge honor?”

  Ashton lifts her arm and Skylar scoots in to lay on her shoulder with her leg draped over Ashton’s. “It is a huge honor, but it also changes the way I’ll be able to lead. Most of my time will be spent training firefighters, organizing schedules, doing building inspections, and dealing with the media. Each department is a little different on how they handle each fire alarm, but in Milltown, unless the fire is three-alarm or greater, a captain hardly ever goes on site or in the fire – they lead from outside while the lieutenant leads from inside.”

  “But isn’t that why you lead the way you do – to groom the next generation of lieutenants?”

  “Damn,” Ashton releases a small laugh, “already trying to push me out to pasture like I’m an old invalid or something?”

  “Oh, my god, no.” Skylar sits up on an elbow looking upset with herself. “Ash, you are a fucking badass and you are not old. Last night, when you were handing Decker his ass on a platter, you made a comment about the fire department not being a corporation where the management suppresses new, younger talents just to secure their positions. If Captain Hunt thinks it’s time for you to be a captain, doesn’t that mean that you did your job correctly, that you uplifted the new talents who can take over being great lieutenants?”

  “I just worry about them. But I know they have what it takes if they’re given the opportunity to really step up.” She exhales hard and shakes her head. “I’ve been there protecting them their whole careers up to this point. Eric is in the hospital and may die. But if I had been there, he might be just fine. He’s in that condition because of the very poor judgements of a piece of shit lieutenant. I don’t ever want to see that happen again.”

  “Then make sure only the best firefighters become lieutenants. And use your new role as captain to train them so damn well that you feel like you are in that fire while you’re leading from the outside. Like you told Decker, every firefighter should be able to do their job with minimal instruction. If you really believe that, and you believe in your training methods, then you should be able to confidently and happily accept the promotion, knowing your crew will continue to excel.”

  “How do you do that? How do you reach so deep inside me and soothe the angst that most people don’t even know exists? How do you know me so damn well already that you just know what to say in every situation?”

  “I listen to you. I hear what you’re saying and see what you’re feeling. I really don’t have any special tricks.” She gives her a soft kiss on the lips and caresses her cheek. “I love you, Ashton.”

  “I love you too.”

  Skylar smiles as she lays back down on Ashton’s chest. She rubs her upper chest and the side of her neck as she sighs in contentment. After Ashton kisses the top of her head, she lays back with her eyes closed, finally allowing her exhaustion to overcome her.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  As she grabs the doorknob to insert the key, it turns in her hand. Ashton quietly slips her keys in her pocket, makes a fist, and slowly pushes the door open. She steps inside and her shoulders instantly relax as she exhales hard and pushes the door
closed.

  “Erin, what the hell are you doing here?” She tosses her keys and wallet in the wooden bowl on the sidebar at the back of the couch.

  Erin stands up from the armchair and walks to the kitchen, saying, “I was out running errands and thought I’d stop in for a visit.”

  As Ashton walks into the kitchen, Erin pops the cap off of a bottle of beer and hands it to her. Ashton waits to take a sip till after Erin opens a bottle for herself, then they clink rims and take a hearty gulp of the local pale ale.

  “How’s your day going?”

  “Okay. I went to see Fields. He was awake, which was sort of bittersweet. He seems to be mentally handling his condition, but he’s in so much pain, even with the morphine they have him on.”

  “Oh, that’s great. I mean that he’s awake – not the pain. I went to see him last night and they still had him sedated. Did he talk about whether or not he wants to continue being a firefighter when he’s healed?”

  “His parents had their say on that particular subject, but he didn’t really say anything about it. He basically just said he’s only thinking about healing right now.” She takes another sip of beer as she shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know what he’s going to do. He was such a damn good firefighter. Like Perez, I was hoping he would become a lieutenant. He wasn’t quite ready just yet, but maybe another year or two and I could have backed his promotion.”

  “Speaking of promotions,” Erin grins as she steps forward and takes Ashton’s left hand in hers, “have you heard anything else since Captain Hunt basically promoted you on the spot the other night?”

  “No, not yet.”

  “How do you feel about it? Are you going to accept or are you going to stubbornly remain a lieutenant so you can keep going into every fire with your crew?”

  Ashton smiles as she takes a sip of beer and moves to lean against the counter. “Actually, I think I’m ready to accept now, thanks to Skylar.”

  Erin’s eyes narrow and she releases Ashton’s hand as she flatly asks, “Oh, really? And why is that?”

  “She helped me to put some things into perspective.”

  “Like?”

  “Do you really care about the answer or are just looking for more reasons to hate Skylar and my relationship with her?”

  “Relationship?” She scoffs as she takes a few steps away, then walks back to stand directly in front of Ashton, only inches apart. “Ash, how is this a relationship? She’s half your age. Just because you have fun together doesn’t mean you are compatible enough to actually work as a couple.”

  “But that’s the thing; being with her is not work. It’s natural and comfortable and it just feels right.”

  “So, what were we? Are you saying it was work to be with me? Do you regret what we had?”

  “Come on, you know damn well I don’t regret being with you. I love you and I always will. But you dumped me. You said we have no future together. Why does it bother you so much that I could have a future with her or anyone else?”

  Skylar walks into the apartment to hear Erin scream, “Because we are supposed to be together!” She quietly closes the door and leans against the wall to wait for Ashton’s response.

  In the kitchen, Erin sets her beer down and wraps her arms around the back of Ashton’s neck. “Ash, are you serious about accepting the promotion to captain and taking a step back from going into so many fires?”

  “I am, but that doesn’t mean…”

  “What if I could accept that? What if I could see a future with you knowing you’re not going to be running into as many fires anymore?”

  “Captains die in fires too, Erin. Captains only go into the worst of the worst. You don’t see a future with me and you never really did. You wanted to, and you may still want to, but you don’t. Erin, I’m in love with Skylar and…”

  “Love?” She scoffs. “Ash, come on, we’ve been together for three years. You’ve known that girl for like a minute. And there is no way a young inexperienced girl like that can make you feel as good or better than I can.” Ashton tenses as Erin presses her hips and breasts against hers. “You know we’re good together. You were willing to get fired because of how good we are together. So, how is she? Is she any good?”

  Skylar blushes in embarrassment and slumps against the wall with fear and insecurities churning her stomach.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but we haven’t had sex yet. My body can’t handle it right now. Look, Erin, I’m really happy with Skylar, and I want you to be happy for me.”

  “You know she threatened me.”

  Skylar’s head snaps up to look towards the direction of the kitchen.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “The night of Eric’s accident – when you and Juan went in to see him. We talked. She basically told me I better not to get in her way of being with you.”

  Skylar clenches her fists so tightly her fingernails dig into her palms.

  “That doesn’t sound like something Skylar would say.” Skylar slightly relaxes her fists and smiles as her eyes tear up. “You are probably twisting whatever she really did say. Actually, that sounds more like something you would have said. You probably told her she better not come between us. That’s what really happened, isn’t it?”

  “You are seriously going to pick her over me?”

  “Erin, you dumped me!” She pulls Erin’s arms off of her and walks away few paces. “There is no choice here. You dumped me and I found someone new. The only reason you have a problem with it is because you know I could actually have a future with her and you hate that. You hate that I might have finally found someone to settle down with because you just want to keep me as your fuck-toy. God, Erin, just be my fucking friend and be happy for me. Is that really so much to ask? God, just,” she exhales hard as her eyes tear up, “just go.”

  “Ash, I’m…”

  “No, I’m not having this fight with you. I’m happy. Okay? I’m really fucking happy. You already broke my heart enough. I’m not letting you break it again by ruining this for me. I’m with Skylar. Accept it or…” Her jaw trembles for a moment as she clears her throat. “Accept that I’m with Skylar and let my relationship play out naturally, or I will have a choice to make.”

  “So, you would choose her over me.”

  “Erin, you are forcing my hand. I want to be with Skylar and I want you and I to be able to remain friends. But if you’re going to try to destroy my relationship, then…”

  “So, Gloria Sanchez can sabotage your relationships and you see it as her having your best interests at heart. But when I suggest that maybe you and I could be better together, you’re ready to cast me aside. You said you still love me. Ash, I know I have fucked up, but are you really okay with throwing away what we had?”

  “First of all, this has nothing to do with Gloria! And second of all, you threw it all away. You cannot fault me for moving on and finding happiness with someone else. Stop casting blame on me for what you did to us. You know, most people don’t stay friends with their exes. But I am offering you friendship, even though you have hurt me so many times. Just tell me, Erin. If you’re going to break my heart again, just do it now and get it over with. I’d rather fall through that fucking burning house again than keep fighting with you.”

  “Ash…” She steps forward and wraps her arms around her. She brushes her thumb under her right eye to brush away a stray tear. “Don’t ever say something like that again. It crushes me every time you get hurt. And I promise, I’m not trying to hurt you. I love you. And I guess I’m scared. I know we have broken up before, but this time is different. This is the first time that you have said it’s final, that we’ll never be together again. I don’t know how to accept that. I don’t know how to accept that Skylar might actually be better for you than I am. And I basically just gave you to her. I could see she was falling for you and I just… I’m scared, Ash. I’m afraid of losing you forever. I’m afraid of never finding someone as good as you. I did
n’t come here to fight with you. I didn’t even come here to try to get you back. I just snapped. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me and give me another chance to be your friend?”

  “Are you going to try to sabotage my relationship with Skylar?”

  “No, I won’t get in the way again. But you need to know that even though you say it’s over between us, I’m not convinced. That door will always be open for you. I won’t try to drag you back into my arms, but if things don’t work out with Skylar, just know I’m here, waiting for you.” She reaches up and kisses Ashton’s lips. “I’m going to take off. I’ll text you…”

  Erin cuts off at the sound of the front door closing, and she quickly releases Ashton and walks out to see Skylar walking up the hall.

  “Skylar. How long have you been here?”

  She feigns ignorance and glances towards the door confused, saying, “I just walked in. Is everything okay?”

  “You’re a phenomenal singer, but you’re a terrible liar. How long have you been standing here eavesdropping on us?”

  Skylar exhales hard as she walks past Erin with a couple of take-out bags. She sets the bags on the counter next to Ashton, who is leaning against the counter drinking her beer and wearing an amused smirk.

  “Don’t ignore me.”

  “I got here somewhere around the time you lied about me threatening you.” She perks up and kisses Ashton’s lips. “Hey, I picked up lunch. I got us a salad and a couple of those sloppy meatball subs you like from The Sub Hub and a piece of cinnamon roll cake from Singer’s Bakery for dessert.”

  “Sounds great. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “So, you’re okay with her just slinking into your apartment and spying on you?”