THE PHOENIX WEDDING: The Complete 6 Books Series

by CJ Bishop

  ♦

  Noah lay in bed and stared at the bedroom ceiling until the sounds of the house quieted. Then he waited another fifteen minutes just to be sure, before crawling out of bed and creeping into the kitchen in his t-shirt, underwear, and stocking feet, moving silently through the dark dwelling.

  A single dim nightlight glowed from beneath the cupboard, barely illuminating the countertop beneath. But it was enough light for him to see his way. He reached up and carefully lifted the cordless phone from the wall base then took it back to his room. He thought about locking his door, but if he forgot to unlock it before falling asleep, Abel or Devlin might ask questions.

  Noah crawled under the blankets and pulled them up over his head and punched out the number he had memorized long ago. The line at the other end rang four times before it was picked up.

  “It’s me. Noah,” he whispered. “Did I wake you up?”

  “No.” The quiet voice was hardly audible and trembled badly. “I’m freaking out, Noah.” Tears thickened the voice. “I-I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m so scared. I want to die.”

  “No,” Noah choked, his throat squeezing. “Don’t say that. It’s good here…safe.”

  Silence seeped through the phone and Noah could hear quiet sobbing. “It isn’t safe anywhere…for me.”

  “That’s not true,” Noah whispered, shaking. “It’s safe here.”

  “I want to come there, Noah.” The soft cries poured through the phone and into Noah’s heart, making him cry, too. “I’m scared.”

  “It’s gonna be okay. I promise.” His chin trembled and he wiped tears from his face. “I’m gonna get you home.”

  “Home…”

  Noah pressed his hand to his mouth and cried quietly, “A real home…with people who love you and won’t ever hurt you…like Jim did.”

  “But if they find out…”

  Noah laid his head against the pillow, the phone close to his ear as warm tears rolled down his cheeks. “They’ll love you anyway. They will.”

  Please, God…please let it be true.

  ~~~

  LOVE and HONOR

  The Phoenix Wedding

  BOOK FOUR

  Chapter 1

  Nolan’s heavy gaze settled on Grid as he approached the table. The bold invitation in his eyes burned through Grid and his body ached to throw caution to the wind and just dive in. This time, though, he wasn’t drunk and he couldn’t just pretend he didn’t know what he knew about Nolan.

  “I didn’t expect to see you here.” Grid stood at the booth. He didn’t sit down. Knew if he slid in next to the man, it would all be over; Nolan’s fiancée be damned.

  “Why is that?” Nolan raised his glass to his lips and stared at Grid as he took a drink.

  Grid didn’t want to play games or dance around the issue at hand. “Your fiancée doesn’t mind you coming to a gay strip club?”

  “You’ve been talking to Samuel.” Nolan took another drink and licked his lips.

  “Yeah.” Grid watched his wet tongue with a severe ache in his crotch.

  A weighted smile tugged heavily at the corner of Nolan’s mouth. “I’m not married yet.”

  Married. The word hit Grid harder than he’d expected it to. The man was on the verge of taking himself off the market and Grid was nowhere ready for that. But it wasn’t his call. And it wasn’t as if Nolan had ever been up for grabs—not for Grid, anyway.

  “Do you love her?” Where the hell had those words come from? Grid didn’t recall any plans to ask that question.

  “Is there any such thing?” Nolan mumbled.

  “I believe there is.”

  Nolan just looked at him. There seemed to be a storm raging behind his hazy eyes. He quelled it and shrugged. “Maybe. For some.” He downed the rest of his shot and wiped his mouth then scooted out of the booth. Grid stepped back, giving him room to stand, certain his moment of opportunity was past. “For the rest of us…” Nolan stood before him, just inches away. “…there’s just a quick fuck in the shadows now and then.” He dragged a fingertip down Grid’s chest. “You want to join me in the shadows tonight?”

  Why are you marrying her if you don’t love her? Grid wanted to ask. The man wasn’t in the proper frame of mind for a Q&A, yet the question nagged Grid’s mind.

  “I’m gonna fuck someone tonight,” Nolan slurred a little. “I’d prefer it be you.”

  So would I. The thought of Nolan taking home a random stranger left a sour knot in Grid’s gut. He suspected that Nolan had never been with a man and for his first time to be with just anyone…

  No. That wasn’t right. Grid had never been with a guy before, either, and he already knew he wanted his first to be Nolan. To share their “first” together made him shiver all over. Maybe it wouldn’t be as special as he’d have liked it to be, but at least it would still be with Nolan. It bothered him that Nolan may not remember it well, or possibly at all, come morning. Grid just had to play the cards he was dealt.

  His conscience needled him as the abstract image of Nolan’s fiancée floated intrusively around the perimeter of his thoughts.

  “Yeah,” he murmured anyway. “I would like that a lot.” It was the truth. He’d never claimed to be a saint. And besides, if Nolan was truly happy with this woman—he wouldn’t be here getting shitfaced and looking to get laid by a man.

  Nolan tugged his keys from his pocket. “My car’s outside.”

  Grid took the keys from him. “We’ll take mine,” he said. “You’re in no condition to drive.”

  ♦

  Despite the grapple with his conscience, Grid knew as soon as he stepped inside Nolan’s apartment that, come morning, both his and Nolan’s asses would be De-Virginized.

  His assumptions were confirmed when Nolan pushed him against the door, knocking it shut, and shoved his hands inside Grid’s shirt. He pinned Grid in place and kissed him hard, leaving no room for argument, then clutched a fistful of Grid’s black T-shirt and led him across the small living room. He hardly had time to survey the apartment before he was shoved down on Nolan’s bed with the man crawling on top of him, clutching Grid’s head, another hard kiss crushing his mouth, throbbing his lips—and his crotch.

  Grid instinctively grabbed his ass and squeezed, pulling Nolan harder against him. I want you so bad.

  “I thought I wasn’t your type,” Grid moaned through their flaming kiss.

  “You’re not.” Nolan shoved his tongue in Grid’s mouth, urging Grid to latch on. He did. And he sucked, hungrily. Nolan’s erection swelled in his pants and ground forcefully into Grid’s crotch.

  Oh fuck. Grid cupped his ass cheeks firmly and lifted to Nolan, offering himself freely, without inhibition. Grid got it that this was a one-time thing. After tonight, there would be no more quick fucks on the side. Whatever he wanted from Nolan—had to be taken tonight.

  Problem was…he wasn’t convinced that this was all he wanted from the man. He couldn’t deny that his fantasies these last few days had involved more than just sex. Being around Seth and Jamie, and others from the club, he witnessed how good true love could be. How fulfilling. Maybe that’s what he’d been hoping for with Nolan; a chance to find out if this was the real thing. But that chance had never actually existed, even when he’d thought it might.

  This was it; One night and then Sayonara.

  He’d been dreading going back to Chicago and leaving Nolan behind. But now…maybe the sooner the better.

  But here and now was still in effect.

  Nolan pulled from the kiss and latched onto Grid’s neck. He systematically shoved Grid’s shirt up his body and Grid dragged it off his head, tossing it to some haphazard destination in the room. Nolan lifted up and stared down into Grid’s face, hot breath puffing against Grid’s throbbing lips.

  “Why are you with me…instead of your fiancée?” Grid had to know. He didn’t know why, but he had to know. Maybe he was hoping for an outright confession from the man that he wasn’t in love with the
woman and longed for Grid instead. It was a longshot but it was all he had.

  His eyes weighted and murky with the effects of the liquor, Nolan blinked slowly as if he could fall asleep at any given moment despite the fire raging behind his stare. “I don’t know.”

  Grid needed more than that, though his aroused body screamed at him to forget about it and just fuck the guy already, that it didn’t matter.

  “Are you in love with her?” the question quivered on Grid’s lips and his heart beat faster in fear of the truth. Would he be here with you is he was? He took comfort in that reasoning but continued to wait for the answer, dread knotting his guts, pinching his chest. His hands rested tentatively on Nolan’s lower back, the heat of his skin pushing up through the thin fabric of his shirt. Grid felt the tension in his muscles and wanted to massage it away. He didn’t move a finger.

  “There’s a part of her,” Nolan mumbled, “that I’m deeply in love with.”

  Grid swallowed. “A part of her,” he whispered. “But not all of her?”

  Nolan nodded.

  “What…part?”

  “Not this part.” Nolan kissed him, not forcefully. He sucked Grid’s lips sensually, instantly submerging Grid in a flood of passion he wasn’t quite prepared for. His mouth dragged off Grid’s lips, over his chin, and down his throat, sucking and nipping. Grid shuddered, his skin prickling with pleasant sensations that vibrated to his core. Teeth raked his left nipple and the small bud stiffened, rising up to be nibbled and suckled. Nolan’s soft lips tugged at the tiny mound, igniting an electrical shot that surged straight down through the center of his body and into his cock.

  “Fuck…”

  Nolan used his full tongue to lick his nipple, then just the tip to tease him until Grid shifted and moaned beneath him. He knew this was a piss poor time to be asking favors of God, but still Grid prayed. Please, God, don’t let him do these things to his fiancée. It was a ridiculous request—for multiple reasons—but it flooded him with jealousy to imagine Nolan using his mouth this way on the woman. On anyone who wasn’t Grid.

  Another fierce tremor swept through Grid as Nolan slid lower. His teeth grabbed at Grid’s hard, rippled abs; biting and tugging his taut skin as his stomach jumped and quivered.

  Oh shit, he whimpered inwardly as the man’s destination became clear and the snap of Grid’s jeans popped loose. Nolan pressed his warm lips to Grid’s navel and swirled his tongue into the shallow cave. The zipper of the jeans slid down and Nolan’s mouth followed the path, kissing along Grid’s happy trail, pulling the short hairs with his teeth.

  “Oh my God…” Grid swallowed laboriously, his throat parched and mouth dry. He was suddenly unsure if this really was Nolan’s first time with a guy; he sure as shit seemed to know exactly what he was doing. Grid found the notion both appealing and unappealing. He wanted to be Nolan’s first gay experience…still, the thought of Nolan having some previous knowledge with which he could teach Grid…there was something extremely cock-hardening about that as well.

  There was a tremor in Nolan’s urgent hands when he stripped Grid’s jeans off his hips. His nails scraped Grid’s hot skin, scratching down his thighs as he dragged the pants lower. It felt good. It hardened him even more, to imagine Nolan’s fingernails gouging into his hot, sweaty muscles, leaving behind evidence that all of this really happened outside of a fantasy.

  Grid was left in just his black jockstrap with the white elastic bands as Nolan withdrew, removing his jeans completely. The man had yet to shed a single article of clothing himself. Grid pulled his feet from the pant legs and propped on his elbows. His erection strained his jockey briefs; a swollen bulge, throbbing and pulsing.

  Nolan discarded the jeans and his stare locked on Grid’s crotch as he began unbuttoning his shirt. With all his fantasies, there was a part of Grid that had never quite believed this would actually happen in the real world, and the fact that it was happening blew his mind.

  The shirt peeled away, revealing Nolan’s lean fit torso, his abs nicely defined though not as cut as Grid’s stomach muscles. Grid breathed a little faster and, somehow, his dick stretched a little more when he’d been sure it couldn’t get any longer or harder. The lack of hesitation in Nolan was a massive turn on, but also a red flag that the man was wasted and so far out of his right mind that all of this was likely to be nothing more than a hazy film on the back of his mind come morning.

  All the “facts” of this experience did little to squash Grid’s intense thrill of the moment. He shouldn’t be here—he fucking knew that. Nolan shouldn’t have brought him here—he knew that, too. But maybe this was something Nolan needed. Nothing about the man indicated he was happy in his engagement. Apparently there was something about the woman that he loved—enough to marry her—but it wasn’t the sex. How could it be? Unless Nolan was Bi, the man was headed straight into a very frustrating and difficult relationship. And he knew it. Otherwise—what was he doing with Grid? This felt like a one last hoo-rah before he was chained down.

  And you’re all too happy to give him a memorable send-off, ain’t ya? Such a good Samaritan.

  Grid ignored his somewhat sardonic thoughts. He wasn’t trying to justify his actions or his motives. He was well aware of the right and wrong of this situation. At the moment, though…he just didn’t give a fuck. All that registered in his overheated brain was that Nolan wanted him—right now. Maybe they would both have their regrets in the morning. But not tonight.

  Nolan shed his clothes and stood stark naked at the foot of the bed. Grid shivered as his hungry eyes traveled up and down the man’s gorgeous body. His cock was wonderfully long and thick with just enough curve to hit the spot. Grid might have a virgin ass, but he wasn’t ignorant of all the “inner workings” that made anal sex so enjoyable for men. He believed in educating himself. Now, he couldn’t wait to put that knowledge to good use.

  He had enough experience with getting blown by girls to know what felt good and what felt great. Grid slid down to the end of the bed and sat forward. He rubbed his hands up Nolan’s thighs and wrapped his hard cock. Grid was an expert with his hands—with plenty of “man hours” working on himself. At this, he was no novice.

  Nolan stared down at him, his chest rising and falling with his quickened breath. He tentatively pushed his dick through Grid’s fists, the taut skin of his shaft shifting against the hard muscle encased within.

  Clear juice seeped from the tip and Grid smeared it down his cock, slicking him up. He rubbed his thumb over the head, massaging gently.

  “Uuhmm…” Nolan released a shaky breath. His hands rested on Grid’s shoulders as he rocked his hips, slowly thrusting through Grid’s firm grip. “Fuck…”

  Leaning forward, Grid dribbled spit onto the head of his cock and worked it up and down his shaft. He kissed Nolan’s stomach and tasted his sweat. It tasted good. He tilted his face down and licked the tip of his dick. Nolan shuddered. Grid savored the flavor and decided that tasted good, too—and dropped his mouth on the man’s cock as Nolan grabbed his hair and let out a loud, hard gasp.

  Chapter 2

  The bedroom was dark but for the glow of the television. Devlin’s eyelids hung heavy, providing mere slits through which to watch the movie playing across the screen. He thought Abel had fallen asleep, until he twisted his head and spoke to Devlin.

  “I want an ice cream cone.”

  “Is that a sexual remark?” Devlin mumbled with a faint, tired smile.

  “No, it’s a wafer cone that you fill with ice cream,” Abel chuckled. “I thought you knew what an ice cream cone was.”

  “Oh,” Devlin sighed. “I thought you made up a new sex thing.” He tossed him an absent, weak wave. “My bad.”

  “Can you go get it for me?” Abel turned over and hugged his arm. “Please?”

  “Get what?” Devlin mumbled.

  “The ice cream cone.” Abel shook his arm and grinned.

  “Why do I have to get it?”

  Abel nuzz
led his ear. “Because you love me,” he cooed. “And because I promise to rub some of it on a special part of your body and lick it off.”

  Devlin opened his eyes a little wider. “You got me with lick it off.”

  “I knew that would do it,” Abel snickered and kissed his cheek.

  “Manipulating me now?” Devlin ground the heels of his palms in his eyes then sat forward with a groan and looked at Abel. “Is this what I have to look forward to after we’re married?”

  Smiling sweetly, and so damn sexy, Abel nodded. “Yep.”

  Devlin nodded and threw back the covers. “Good.” He crawled out of bed and felt Abel staring at his bare ass as he grabbed his robe. “You just wanted to see my ass, didn’t you?” Devlin turned around, dragging the soft flannel around his body.

  “Not just your ass.” Abel raised his brow as he eyed the open front of the robe.

  “You didn’t have to get me out of bed for that.”

  “Oh, I still want ice cream.” Abel smiled.

  “I don’t know what makes you think I’m at your beck and call.”

  Abel smirked. “Maybe the fact that I’m still cuddled in the warm bed and you’re headed to the kitchen to do my bidding?”

  Devlin grunted and tied the robe. “Touché, smart alec.” Abel snickered as Devlin left the bedroom. He guessed it should come as no surprise that Abel was the one calling the shots in this relationship; he had been Devlin’s weakness from the moment Devlin had passed through that curtain in the ER and was met by those amber pools that pulled him in and drowned him on the spot.

  He smiled as he walked barefoot down the carpeted hall. It seemed like many years had passed since that first encounter, when it had only been months—less than a year.

  When Devlin passed Noah’s door, he noticed a faint crack of light at the bottom. He had thought the boy would’ve crashed out shortly after going to bed, he’d seemed exhausted. Devlin paused and rapped lightly on the door. “Noah?” he called softly, not wishing to wake him if he was asleep. He received no answer and quietly opened the door a few inches. The bedside lamp was on the dim setting and cast a glow on Noah’s face as he huddled in his blankets, fast asleep.