THE PHOENIX WEDDING: The Complete 6 Books Series

by CJ Bishop

  The attorney’s eyes wavered a little, indicating he may not be telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help him God. Samuel nodded. “Hey, don’t think you old guys got the whole ‘sex camel’ thing monopolized.”

  “Old guys?” Nolan chuckled. “I’m barely into my thirties. And what do you mean by sex camel?”

  “Like how a camel can go for extended lengths of time without water,” Samuel smiled. “Except with you, it’s sex.”

  “Ah,” Nolan nodded. “And what do you mean us old guys don’t monopolize it?”

  Samuel shrugged. “Nothing really, I was just talking to Seth and Jamie’s friend Grid and he kind of said the same thing.” Okay, so maybe he was fabricating the facts—or just out and out making them up—but if anything could give the man away, it would be talk of Grid. “He’s about my age. And though he enjoys the club, he doesn’t really seem all that interested in hooking up.” He held Nolan’s stare. Why he was so eager to see the “signs”, Samuel didn’t know. Under the current circumstances, wouldn’t it be better for Nolan if he didn’t have any outside interests? And better for Grid as well? Surely it would make it worse for both men to be wrapped up in one another emotionally and not be allowed to be together—than if there weren’t any true feelings brewing. Even if Grid had real feelings for Nolan…if he knew that Nolan had no mutual interest whatsoever, he would eventually move on.

  After a moment, Nolan’s eyes wavered and something quite distinct flickered behind his gaze. He looked away, shifting his focus to Rueben. “I can only speak for myself,” Nolan mumbled. “Maybe he just hasn’t seen anything he likes yet.”

  “Oh, I think he has. Whether or not he acts on it remains to be seen.”

  Nolan’s eyes snapped back to him a little too quickly, betraying his underlying interest. “Someone at the club?”

  “Maybe,” Samuel replied absently. “He’s new to the whole gay scene. It can be overwhelming, cause a guy to go a little wild and crazy at first. And there’s a lot of cute, sexy boys at the club. I’m sure it won’t be long before he starts playing the field.”

  “You mean…” Nolan licked his lips slowly. “…have sex with random guys?”

  “Basically, yeah.”

  “He’s that type?” Nolan asked—and Samuel detected a note of disappointment in his voice.

  Samuel shrugged. “Not sure. I don’t know him real well. Though he kind of strikes me as someone who could totally commit to a serious relationship, given the chance.”

  A wisp of anguish swept through Nolan’s eyes. “Yeah, well,” he murmured. “Hopefully he’ll get the chance someday.”

  “Hopefully.” Samuel gazed at him. “I used to play the field, too. But since I’ve been with Caleb, I haven’t missed it—at all. There’s nothing quite like finding your one true love. It makes your whole world come together, gives you an all new purpose in life.” He smiled softly at Nolan. “Kind of like discovering heaven on earth.”

  Envy glimmered behind Nolan’s stare. “That’s…great,” he whispered. “I’m glad you found it. You deserve it.”

  “So do you,” Samuel said quietly.

  Shaking his head slowly, Nolan looked away again, turning his eyes back to the small boy on the sofa. “There’s no place in my life for all that. I have to think about Rueben. He’s all that matters. All I really want.”

  The quiet ache in the man’s eyes insisted otherwise.

  We’ll find a way, Samuel thought. You’re my friend, and I’m not going to abandon you to a cold, loveless life—not when there’s a hot-blooded young man just waiting for you to open your heart to him.

  Chapter 3

  The house was warm and inviting when Noah and Noel walked through the front door. Like a real home should feel, Noah thought. He felt “hugged” by the house, like he was being happily welcomed after a long absence, though he had only been gone overnight. Noel squeezed his hand gently; he was feeling it, too…the sense of belonging. Of being necessary and important.

  Noah had never experienced this before. Coming home to the apartment in Chicago had left him feeling cold and sick with dread. Even when their mom was alive, it had only been slightly better than after she was gone. But at least when she was there, the nightmare hadn’t yet begun. The place had never felt like a real home, though. Ever.

  “Where’s Abel?” Noah asked quietly. Abel had been gone from the hospital when he’d awaken this morning and still hadn’t returned by the time Devlin had Noel discharged.

  Devlin closed the front door and motioned them forward, toward the kitchen. “He, Maddy, and Savannah went out shopping for clothes for you boys. They’ll get you a few things, then later when you’re feeling up to it, we’ll take you out and let you choose your own wardrobe.”

  Noah nodded. “Thank you,” he whispered.

  “Our pleasure.” Devlin touched his shoulder and smiled as they entered the kitchen. “You two didn’t each much breakfast. Do you want me to fix you something to hold you over until lunch?”

  Noah looked at Noel. “Are you hungry?”

  Noel shook his head. He seemed far away and…lost. Devlin had briefly explained why Noel had been in so much pain. He said he wanted to talk to both Noah and Noel about it in more depth when they got home. But what he had told them had frightened and upset Noel deeply, though he was trying to hide it.

  “We can wait for lunch,” Noah murmured.

  Devlin fixed himself a cup of coffee. Noah thought he might be stalling.

  “Can I go lay down?” Noel whispered. “I don’t feel very good.”

  Tapping the edge of his cup, Devlin nodded. “Yes, of course. We can talk later. You’ll feel better soon.”

  Noel kept a hold of Noah’s hand when he started for the hall, but Noah hung back. “I’ll be there in a minute,” he assured, squeezed Noel’s hand, then let go. Noel nodded and left the kitchen. Noah hugged himself and sat down at the table, his eyes downcast. “Is he really going to be okay?” Tears seeped into his eyes and he looked up. “Is he, Dr. Grant?”

  “Yes.” Devlin came to the table and sat down across from him. “And you can call me Devlin.” He reached out and grasped Noah’s hand. “I know that all this is really tough on Noel, and on you. But everything is going to be all right.”

  “I think…” Noah pursed his lips and lowered his gaze. “I think it’s really freaking him out…what you told him at the hospital.” He swallowed and shrugged. “It’s freaking me out, too.”

  “That’s understandable,” Devlin said softly. “You and Noel both have always accepted him as being a boy, which he is. An experience like this can’t help but be frightening and confusing. But you should know that nothing developed inside him, not enough to be considered a life. With the hormone supplements Noel had been taking and the changes taking place in his body, it really wouldn’t have been possible for it to have progressed any further than it did.” Devlin sipped his coffee and gazed silently at Noah for a moment. “Noah…” He twisted his cup slowly on the table. “Has Noel ever talked about having the operation?”

  “Operation?”

  “A gender reassignment operation.” When Noah just stared at him, confused, Devlin simplified, “A sex change. A full transition.”

  Noah shifted in his chair. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “He asked mom about it once, but she said it was too expensive and wasn’t necessary yet because he was so young. She said maybe later, when he was older, he could get it done if she could figure out a way to pay for it.” After his talk with their mom, Noel had cried himself to sleep that night, feeling like he would never be a “normal” boy. “It was necessary, though,” Noah said low. “At school, he had to use the girls’ restroom, and take girls’ Phys-Ed. Our mom talked to the principal about it, but he didn’t really understand the transgender thing. He was kind of a jerk and said that whatever body you’re born with is who you are, and people should stop messing with nature.”

  Devlin rubbed his eyes and groaned. “It�
�s amazing—appalling, actually—the depth of ignorance still alive and well in this world. It’s no wonder so many kids have such a hard time accepting themselves, loving themselves, when they’re up against a multitude of people telling them they’re wrong or that they should try to be something they’re not—because it’s the natural way of things.”

  “Why do you think it happens?” Noah whispered.

  “Why what happens, son?”

  “Why people are born like Noel. Why does that happen?”

  Shaking his head, Devlin admitted, “I don’t know. No one really knows why it happens. It’s like the mind and body develop opposite gender identities.”

  “Does that mean he’s a…mistake?” Noah’s throat tightened. “He thinks he is. He says God messed up when He made him.”

  “No.” Devlin’s eyes shimmered, and he grasped Noah’s hand again. “No, he is not a mistake. God doesn’t make mistakes. Maybe we don’t always understand His ways or his reasons for doing things, but he doesn’t make mistakes. Noel is a beautiful, special boy.”

  Noah’s chin trembled a little. “I think so, too.”

  “And so are you,” Devlin smiled. “You are both a very special addition to our family that we cherish very much. And when Noel is ready to talk about it again, we can discuss the option of him having the surgery. Money is not an issue.”

  “Really?” Noah whispered, awe filling his voice as his vision blurred. “You would…pay for his surgery?”

  “Yes. Absolutely. We will do whatever it takes to help him feel comfortable with himself and love himself. I can imagine, for some transgender people anyway, it must feel like they are living inside someone else’s body.”

  “That’s what Noel says,” Noah murmured. “He hates seeing himself without clothes because it reminds him that he’s not normal.”

  “He isn’t abnormal,” Devlin said. “He might be surprised by how many people there are in this world that are just like him. A lot of close-minded, ignorant people think it’s abnormal or unnatural to be gay as well. Yet there are millions of gay people in the world. As there are transgender people also. With those numbers, it’s kind of difficult to say it’s not the ‘norm’, don’t you think?” He smiled.

  Noah returned his smile. “Yeah, I…I never thought of it like that.” Noah’s heart lifted a bit. Maybe it would make Noel feel better, too.

  ♦

  “Is Savannah okay?” Abel walked with Maddy across the wide mall corridor to the electronics shop, leaving Savannah in the clothing emporium to gather a few extra things for the boys.

  “Not really.” Maddy’s face strained as he cast a quick glance back at the clothing store. “She’s having a hard time dealing with the fact that it was your guys’ dad who did these things to Noah and Noel. And with what just happened to Noel…” he shook his head. “I think it’s really getting to her.” His voice lowered. “I think a lot of things are.”

  “Specifically…?”

  Maddy shrugged. “All this stuff with her and I. She’s still scared she’ll infect me. I know she thinks I’m wasting my time on her, that we could never have a normal relationship—or marriage. She thinks we could never have a family or any kind of future at all. I know she’s strong and she lives life to the fullest, but…” his face pinched in anguish. “I feel like there’s this part of her that just waiting to…” he looked at Abel. “…to die.”

  Sometimes, watching Savannah when she played with Jules or was being goofy and playful with Maddy, it was easy to forget that death swam through her veins. He cherished those instances when it seemed Savannah herself forgot for a moment that she was sick. “I guess it’s up to us to keep reminding her of all the things she has to live for. Those with a powerful will to live are the ones who make it the farthest.” He laid his arm across Maddy’s shoulders. “I think her greatest fear is that you will invest your heart in her, then have to watch her slowly fade away before your eyes.” That was Abel’s greatest fear; having to stand back and watch her get sicker and sicker, knowing there’s nothing he can do to save her.

  Maddy paused at the entrance of the electronics shop and looked back across the corridor to the clothing emporium, his heart in his eyes. “It’s too late,” he murmured. “My heart’s already invested. And that isn’t going to change.”

  Abel loved this kid—more of a man at sixteen than many fully grown men out there. There wasn’t a shadow of doubt in Abel’s mind that God had carefully handpicked Maddy for Savannah and strategically placed him in her life. What other sixteen-year-old boy could handle all this?

  “I know it is,” Abel said softly and squeezed his shoulder. “You’re an amazing guy, Maddy. And exactly who and what she needs. People in her situation often try to push away those who want to be close to them, because they don’t want them getting hurt. But you can’t let them.”

  “I won’t let her push me away,” Maddy said. “I love her too much.” He entered the shop. “Angel almost let go of Dane,” Maddy said with a quiet ache in his voice. “He never told me why, but it about destroyed him.”

  “I know,” Abel whispered. He also knew why Angel had almost walked away—or rather, ran away. He thought—of all of them—Angel and Dane had endured the bloodiest, most hellish battle of all. When Angel had told his harrowing tale to Abel and Caleb that day in Caleb’s apartment, it had chilled Abel to his soul. Although their entire family was a testament to how powerful love could be…Angel and Dane were their poster boys. If love could fight its way through their nightmare and come out strong and in one piece, then there was nothing it couldn’t endure or defeat. He glanced at Maddy; including the ominous disease that had so stealthily invaded Savannah’s body.

  Maddy fell silent as he came to a rack of video games. After reading the backs of a few cases, he smiled, “So how goes the celibacy pact?”

  “Shit,” Abel groaned and laughed. “It just went into effect this morning and I’m already buggin’. I could kick Cole and Gabe’s asses for that.”

  “Yeah, Max and Horatio aren’t having such a good time with it,” Maddy chuckled. “And I’m pretty sure Angel and Dane aren’t, either. Those two go at it like rabbits.”

  They’re not the only ones, Abel thought. It was practically a ritual for him and Devlin to make love every night and first thing in the morning. Their normal routine was disrupted by the overnight stay at the hospital, but if not for the pact, they may have still found a private place to cool the morning fires. Abel suspected they would be taking a lot of icy cold showers over the next couple days.

  “I tell you this,” Abel said. “Cole and Gabe had damn well better not be cheating on the pact, since they are the ones who got us into this. We may have to assign them a chaperone. Someone who can’t be swayed by their seductive hotness.”

  Maddy snorted. “And who would that be?”

  “Good point,” Abel mumbled. “Shit. Those guys could charm the pants off a freaking priest.”

  Chapter 4

  Max approached the bar with a scowl firmly etched on his face. “I hear this was your idea.” His eyes narrowed at Carl. “What the hell were you thinking, boy?”

  “Am I missing something?” Carl frowned, an uncertain smile on his beautiful face. Max just stared at him, one eyebrow sliding up. Carl got it and laughed low. “Ah, the celibacy thing.” He shrugged and grinned. “What? You don’t think it’ll make your wedding night all the hotter?”

  “I may not make it to my wedding night,” Max growled. “I practically had to flee my own house before I attacked my fiancé.”

  Carl sighed, his grin holding. “Well, if you’re that fired up, you may want to steer clear of your office.”

  “My office?” Max looked across the club to his closed office door. “Why? What’s wrong with my office?”

  “Nothing wrong with it.” Carl stepped back. “Just giving you fair warning that you may not want to go in there if your juices are flowing.”

  “All right.” Max eyed him suspiciously.
“What’s going on? Who’s in there?”

  A customer hailed Carl, and he shrugged apologetically. “Gotta take care of the patrons.” He walked away with a chuckle.

  Max twisted around and stared at his office door, then left the bar and walked across the floor. The stage music drowned out the music pumping through his office until he was standing right outside the door. He frowned and entered.

  The scene he walked in on hit him straight in the crotch and left him instantly breathless. He closed the door and sank back against it, gripping the handle. His burning stare crawled over the three nearly naked men, muscles gleaming with sweat, as they rubbed up against one another in rhythm to the music. Hands invaded forbidden zones and bulging crotches bumped and ground together. Holy shit.

  Dane was sandwiched between Cole and Gabe, arms above his head as his gorgeous body swayed and rocked with sensual grace. Cole was in front of him, caressing his thick chest and chiseled abs, hips gyrating in perfect time, engorged cocks barely constrained within the skimpy, nylon G-strings.

  Behind Dane, Gabe rested his hands on the man’s hips and rolled his crotch up against his bare ass, his lips grazing the nape of his neck.

  Oh, fuck…Max swallowed hard and his previous need to fuck spiked through the roof. He tried to regain his composure before the boys noticed him, but it was too late. Gabe spotted him, and a sexy smile spread across his face.

  “Wanna join us, boss?” His voice was low, deep…hypnotic. “Teach us some of those sexy moves you executed on stage the other night?”

  The other two boys looked his way, equally inviting smiles on their glistening faces. The three of them were like sirens of the deep, mesmerizing and hypnotizing with the very movement of their exotic bodies.

  Max trembled and wiped his mouth with an unsteady hand. “Is this how you plan to stick to the pact? ‘Cause I have to say, it’s a poorly devised plan.”