Inked Temptation (Inked Series, #1)

by Maree, Kay

  My father’s voice breaks as he tells me we now have to carry her from this room, filled with so much light from the heavens above and take her to a much smaller one. The time has come to truly say goodbye.

  Sucking in a lungful of air, I hold it until the burn hits my lungs and my body screams at my brain to breathe. I welcome the pain, it reminds me I’m fucking human and life hurts.

  My boys flank me, our hands find the gold handles of her coffin and we lift her up. Leaning down slightly, we lift her high onto our shoulders, our arms linking over each other’s. I grip Beau’s shoulder tight as my arm begins to shake and he squeezes mine in return. Bracing the coffin on our shoulders, our free hands hold her in place, her final ride high on the men who loved her almost as much as we did.

  The doors to the small cremation room open, this room is filled with vase upon vase of mum’s favorite flowers. The scent is intoxicating. A deep sob wracks my body and shaking slightly, my knees buckle. Dad is at my side in a heartbeat, helping to hold me up and carry the greatest love of our lives to the small table which will soon lower her into the floor and away from us forever. We place her down gently, deep exhales are echoed around the room and tears are wiped away.

  Donald arrives and stands at the head of my mother's coffin, his eyes red rimmed. He’d been fond of my mother so this day has taken its toll on him also. So much love laced with a deep sadness seeped from the walls of the chapel and here in this small space, you can feel it almost suffocating you.

  My father’s hand finds mine, as does Ally’s and we take the few small steps between us and the coffin. Falling to my knees, my father mirrors my movements. Our heads bow onto the coffin, the white awash with colour from the flowers and the sweet smell taking us back to a time when it was the three of us. A time when we were happy and not broken with loss. Closing my eyes, my lips find the cool wood as a soft soothing instrumental melody plays out around us. Ally lowers to my other side, her hand lands on my thigh as my boys’ hands find my shoulders. I reach for my father’s hand to find it shaking violently. Holding it tight, I whisper in a broken voice, “You ready, Pops?”

  I swallow around the lump in my throat and wait for him to respond. I suspect he is fighting a battle in his head as I am in mine. He blows out a shaky breath before answering.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.” His voice cracks on a sob.

  I kiss mum one last time, the cool wood sending a chill sliding down my spine. I nod to Donald and close a hand over Ally’s warm hand on my thigh. Beau and Justin grip my shoulders. I hear soft cries and gasping breaths which I suspect are from Erica and Cynthia on the other side of the room. I try to block out the sound, locking my eyes back on the glossy white coffin in front of me. The soothing music runs through me as my eyelids sit at half-mast. Silent tears spill down my cheeks and the coffin begins to slowly lower down into the floor taking fractured shards of my heart with it.

  I’ll miss you mum.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Ally

  The drinks are flowing and music is blasting from the sound system which Justin has set up on Jim’s - Xavier’s dad’s back verandah. Stories are being told, laughed and cried over, one after the other. My heart is still heavy for the man I love. That’s the funny thing about grief, it comes in waves - one minute you can be fine, going about your normal day. Then, it can slam into you like a semi-truck knocking you to the ground and leaving you gasping for breath. Begging the earth to stand still, if only for a moment so, you can breathe again. I know this feeling well. For four years I have lived with it and each passing day the birds still sing, the wind still sways from left to right but nothing is ever the same again.

  Today I watched my man bare his soul and crumble to his knees. I had no pretty words to tell him that it would all be okay, no false reassurances that his life will continue moving. Words are wasted in this particular instance, right now they mean nothing. They’re another kick to the guts, reminding you over and over again that life will never be the same again.

  The sun will be dimmer, the grass a little less green and you try to draw strength from everything and everyone around you just so you can open your eyes each morning. I look around the backyard, the late afternoon sun splashes golden rays of light around us, but I can’t stop the gloomy feeling which settles deep in my belly.

  Today brought back so many memories, it was hard to keep my tears in check. I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye to my dad, my bitch of a mother made sure of that when she decided to have my father cremated while I was still in the hospital recovering. When I was finally released, she told me he was safe away from me where I couldn’t hurt him anymore.

  A muffled sob tears from my throat as tears ghost down my face. I place my plastic cup on the ground beside my chair and release Xavier’s hand. Keeping my head bowed, I make my way towards the backdoor of the house, wringing my fingers so tight they begin to sting. Heading into the kitchen, I grab some paper towel from the roll on the wall near the fridge and wipe the tears from my face. My vision is blurred as I stare off into space. My breath hitches as more thick tears roll down my face. My chest tightens and shoulders heave as I sob. I need space. I need to breathe. I need air but I don’t want to return to the backyard. Sucking down a shaky breath, I dash for the front door. I need a few moments alone to clear my head. Xavier has had enough to deal with today without me burdening him with my mini meltdown.

  I push through the doorway; the sun has dropped lower in the sky and the moon has begun to appear. I watch as the sun’s rays kiss the ocean and breathe in the salty air. X’s parent’s house is nothing like I expected, not that I’d really thought about it much. The home sits on top of a hill overlooking Merewether beach. It’s a beautiful three bedroom, two storey home with glass walls facing the ocean. When we first pulled up to the front I was speechless. It’s nothing like my mother’s house which lies behind a false facade of happiness when what it really is, is a house of horrors.

  Wrapping my arms around my waist, I take the few steps down to the path which leads to the road. Crossing the street, I stand at the top of the hill and stare down at the calming water, watching as small waves crash on the shore. Closing my eyes, I tilt my chin up to the sky, take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Rolling my shoulders, I let the peaceful atmosphere soak into every cell of my body.

  My tears slow until I have nothing left. My chest feels lighter just being out here. Exhaling another couple of breaths, I crack my eyes open to see the sun dip below the water, leaving nothing but the rising moon and a slight glow across the sky. Stars begin to spring free against the clear night sky and my eyes begin to make patterns with them like dot-to-dot. I smile as I remember doing this with my dad.

  Heated breath brushes my neck as strong arms wrap around my waist. X places a soft kiss behind my ear sending heat rushing through me and making me hum. I bring my hands up to rest against his. Not a word is spoken. Only the pressure of his chin resting on my head reminds me he’s with me and without even knowing it, he was exactly what I needed right now. Just being cocooned in his warm arms has me melting into him as we stand looking up at the stars dancing in the sky above. After what feels like forever, his deep whispered voice floats around me.

  “We have this.”

  I nod my head against his chest.

  “I just needed to breathe,” I whisper.

  His body tenses against mine for a moment before relaxing again.

  “If you need to breathe, you come to me,” he whispers.

  “I didn’t want to bother you.” I lower my eyes to the ground, I really did want to go to him but didn’t want to make tonight about me. Before I can explain, he swings me around in his hold and my breath catches in my throat as the moonlight catches the intensity of his ocean blue eyes.

  “You need to fucking breathe, you find me.”

  There is so much emotion in his voice, it sucks the air from my lungs. All I can do after a silent standoff where his eyes flicker ove
r every inch of my face, I nod. His face softens and leaning down, he brushes his lips over mine before turning me around so my back presses against his muscled chest.

  “Right now, this moment with you in my arms, is all that matters,.” he breathes into the top of my head. We stand for a little while longer and I notice a shooting star. Raising my hand, I point to it and watch as it fades into the inky black night.

  “We should make a wish,” I murmur, not wanting to break our moment.

  “Nah, Babe.” X sighs and waves his hand across the sky to indicate the rest of the stars.

  My brows crease, wondering what he is trying to tell me. I don’t have to wait long for an explanation and when it comes, I fall in love with him a little bit more.

  “Why waste a wish on a dying star when there is a whole sky full of live ones. Pick one. Shit, pick each and every one of them, it won’t matter. You could toss a penny in a well or blow on a dandelion. At the end of the day, they either fade, get lost or blow away. So, if you want to wish, wish upon the silver moon. Even though it eventually fades to allow for the daylight to come, it will always come back.”

  Those words, his whispered voice, heated breath against my ear, has goosebumps spreading across my skin like wildfire and tears spring to my eyes.

  “I love you,” I get out on a hitched breath.

  “I love you too, Sweetness.”

  He kisses the side of my head and I burrow deeper into his hold, needing every part of me connected to him.

  “If you wanna, let’s do it, but I don’t need to make a wish. I already have all I’ll ever want and need in my arms.”

  Damn, this man. Soft tears ghost down the side of my face.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Xavier

  Gazing up at the infinite stars blanketed by the night sky with Ally in my arms has to be one of the most peaceful moments of my life. I wasn’t lying when I said I had everything I needed right here. Everything I’ve worked so hard for in my life -my business, my apartment, my truck, it could all be gone tomorrow, but as long as I have Ally in my arms it wouldn’t matter. From the first moment I saw her I knew she was special but never in my life did I ever think I would get to be a part of her life. If Beau or Justin had told me months ago that this is where my life would lead me, I would have laughed in their faces and told them to fuck off. I never wanted to be tied down. I always thought I wasn’t meant to feel this kind of love but now that I have it, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

  Pushing a hand into my pants pocket I grab my phone and flick through the apps until I find what I’m looking for. With one arm still wrapped tight around my girl, I turn her to face me, click on my music app and hit ‘play’ on the song I want. The silence disappears around us as the first bars of Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arthur breaks through the tranquility of the moment.

  “What are you doing?” she whisper’s, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

  “Dance with me, under the stars.” I shove my phone into the breast pocket of my dress shirt so we can still hear the music.

  Wrapping my arms back around her waist, I pull her in tight, her body moulding into mine perfectly. Swaying from side to side, I bury my head into the top of her hair and breathe in her sweet apple scent. Her hands slowly slide up my chest and wrap around my neck. For three minutes and thirty seconds we were lost in each other, just feeling. We let everything go and stayed in the moment with each other. Feeling a wetness against my shirt, I pull back mesmerized as her glistening evergreen eyes gaze into mine. She blows out a choppy breath and it hits my neck as she fights the tears threatening to fall. A few seconds later, she loses the battle and soft tears flow down her heat blushed cheeks. Dropping her chin, she tries to shy away so I don’t see, but I’m not having any of it. Reaching out, I place my fingers softly under her chin tilting her face up to mine.

  “Don’t hide your tears from me, Sweetness. They make you human. Each salty tear that trickles down your face makes you who you are and you’re amazing. When you cry, I get to see a little bit more of you and I savor those moments. To me, you could never be anything but divine.”

  I tuck a loose tendril of hair behind her ear, her eyes glittering with an emotion so intense it shakes my soul. She rises up on her tiptoes and I lean down to brush my lips over hers before slowly moving her away. A look of confusion crosses her face but quickly vanishes when I twirl her around before bringing her back into my arms. Her chin rests on my chest and she peers up at me through her lashes, the glow from the moon making her gold hue shine like the sun. Sliding her hands around my neck, she gently strokes her nails up and down causing goosebumps to break out. When I plant a soft kiss to her nose, it scrunches under my touch because of my beard.

  “You shine brighter than any star, Baby,” I whisper once the song fades and the silence returns. “The first time I saw you, I had to catch my breath. The minute I touched you, I wanted to savor it - not knowing when the next time would come. You are everything I never knew I wanted and so much more. Now I can’t breathe without you.” I blow out a deep breath and two simple, but powerful, words slip from my lips as my heart echoes in my ears. “Marry me,” I husk out.

  This may not be the perfect time, I don’t even have a ring, but something about this moment is so perfect. I don’t think I could have planned anything more romantic than this, right here, right now, under the silver glow of the moon as the waves crash against the rocks below us. Staring into my eyes, I hear the hitch in her breath as she nods her head, but I need to hear the words. Running my hand down the side of her face, I rest my palm against her cheek. Her eyes flutter close at my touch. Seeming to snap her out of her head, she plants a small kiss into the palm of my hand. Her warm palm lays across my hand on her cheek, holding it there as her eyes stare into mine.

  “Yes.” Her voice cracks and after clearing her throat, her voice is stronger. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

  Before she can say anything else, I slam my mouth down on hers, wanting to soak this moment into my body. Pulling back from the kiss, my chest warms as I watch her eyes flutter open and a shy smile curl her lips.

  “I don’t have a ring.” Looking up to the sky, I husk out an embarrassed laugh.

  I always knew I would ask her, but I’d planned to have it all set up properly when I did. Laughing, she cups my face and draws me down to her again. I’m only inches from her and my eyes lock onto the evergreen eyes which stole my soul.

  “I don’t need a ring, I just need you.”

  She leans forward, closing the gap between our mouths and kisses me with so much hunger my already hard cock pushes against the zipper of my suit pants. I pull back, needing to get my shit under control.

  “We need to stop, before I fuck you into the ground,” I grit out between clenched teeth.

  Peeking over each of my shoulders, a mischievous smile takes over her mouth.

  “I’m game.” She reaches behind her and unzips her dress. “I always wanted to make love under the stars.” She kicks her shoes off as she struggles to pull down her dress.

  Fuck. “I don’t want to hurt you and right now my control is pretty thin,” I warn.

  “You won’t,” she cocks a perfect brow, daring me to argue with her.

  Fisting my hands at my sides, I open my mouth to object when she cuts me off with that sass I have missed so much in the past week.

  “Either fuck me or stand there and watch me pleasure myself.”

  “Like fuck,” I grunt, making her laugh. “You’d test the patience of a Saint, Babe.” I pick her up by the waist, my control a thing of the past and I slam my mouth down on hers, not giving her a chance to say anything else. Falling to my knees I lay her out on the grass. Her auburn hair scatters around her, the black dress now hanging down near her waist leaving her spectacular bare tits on display, her fair milky skin glowing under the moonlight.

  “Fuck it!” I don’t bother to strip off.

  Reaching down, I slide my zipper down, pop the butt
on and push my boxer briefs down just enough that my hard as fuck cock springs free. The metal piercing surrounded by pre cum, glistens and I’m struggling to stay in control when she begins moaning with want and pinching her hard nipples between her fingers. Gripping her stockings, I rip them down her legs, hearing them tear as I go. Once off, I reach under her dress and snap her flimsy panties off in one quick movement, making her hiss at the action.

  “Fuck, X, I need you now.” She moans and arches her back, trying to get closer to me.

  I run the tips of my fingers over her pussy to make sure she’s ready for me. It’s my turn to groan at how soft and wet she is. Gripping the base of my cock, I lean forward and grip her hair at the top of her head, firmly holding her to the ground. In one heated rush, I slam into her soaking pussy. Holding still for a moment, I soak in the feeling of her wrapped tight around me. My eyes roll back in my head as her moans bounce around me.

  “This is going to be hard and fast, Sweetness.”

  I pull back before pushing back in on a groan.

  “Oh God, yes,” she moans.

  She grips my shoulders and through the thin layer of my shirt, I feel her nails bite into the muscles of my back, making me grunt.

  “What did I tell you to say when I’m inside you?” I ground out behind clenched teeth while slamming into her again and again.

  Leaning down, my teeth latch onto her nipple, applying a little pressure. Her hips pick up speed, meeting me at every thrust.

  “Xavier!” she screams before I cover her mouth with mine, not needing anyone to come out here and see my woman losing herself.

  I growl into our kiss as her pussy contracts around my cock, coating it in her warm release. It's enough to have me losing my load. Tiny shocks shoot down my back as my balls draw up and I explode. Black dots swim across my vision as our panting breaths break through the otherwise silent night.

  “I love you,” I breathe out once I get my bearings back