by Lilly Wilde
“It was nice seeing you again, Aria,” JoJo said.
I smiled and turned away, heading down the long hallway. But when I heard the door close behind them, I turned around and walked back. From the window I watched Aiden and JoJo walk to the car parked in the circular drive. Aiden opened her door and closed it once JoJo was inside. Casually, he walked around to the passenger side and slid in. He closed the door and my heart sank as I watched them drive away, my eyes glued to the car until the tall gates closed behind them.
“There’s nothing going on between them, you know.” Allison had stepped behind us, jolting me from my reverie.
I turned to face her. “What?”
“Aiden and JoJo. They’re just friends. They’ve been friends since college. I think they may have hooked up once when they were in school, but from what I hear, Aiden didn’t really relate very well with women then. The age difference, you know.”
“Allison, I don’t really care what Aiden does anymore.”
“Aria, I’m not stupid. Neither is he. Actually, none of us are. Whatever you two have, it’s not going away. So you can both be pigheaded if you want, but it’s a waste of time.”
I didn’t want to talk about Aiden or feelings. I’d only get upset. At least Allison was talking to me. That was a good sign. “Are you and I friends again?”
“Friends? I don’t know. That term implies a lot.”
“Allison, I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, too.”
“Yes. You did.” She glanced at Lyric. He was happily sucking his paci.
“I thought a clean break was the best for all concerned,” I said.
She touched Lyric’s foot, lifting it and tickling the bottom. She grinned when Lyric pulled away from her. Allison looked up at me and her smile faded. “Aria, I was so hurt and angry when Aiden told us about the baby. I didn’t think I’d ever want to talk to you again.”
“But you are now. So does this mean you’re going to stop giving me the evil eye? You’re not very good at it, you know,” I added, smiling at her.
“It’s kind of hard to be mad at you. I love you like a sister, Aria, and I hate the way Mom and Aiden are treating you.” She frowned, appearing just as sad as I felt.
“I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”
“Me either, so I guess you need at least one person on your side.”
“Thank you, Allison. And I love you, too. By the way, that would make two people on my side.” I held up two fingers, waiving them in front of her.
Her eyebrows furrowed. “Huh?”
“Connor. He’s been great.”
“Really?” she asked, obviously just as startled as I’d been.
“I know. It shocked the hell out of me, too.”
“Well, maybe he can work on Mom. So, were you headed out?” she asked.
“No. I was going to the library for a book. I would love to take Lyric for a walk, but I’ll wait until it’s less windy.”
“We can walk in the gym,” she suggested. “There’s an indoor track and you can actually select scenes that encircle it. The scenery is really beautiful, you can even load sounds—there’s one that has a dog in it and looks so real. I think Lyric would like that.”
“That sounds really cool.” I was happy that Allison had extended this overture. And if it meant our friendship was intact again, I would have walked up and down the halls, or anywhere else for that matter, had she suggested it.
Just as I was about to fall in step behind Allison, I glanced out the beautiful high-arched window and absorbed the warm rays of the bright Chicago afternoon. My mind drifted back to Aiden and JoJo. Were they really just friends? Did it even matter if they were? I knew it did, but holy hell, I didn’t want it to. Would it always rip my insides to shreds when I saw him with other women?
I knew the answer to that question, even if I didn’t want to accept it. This would be so much easier if I didn’t have to be around him, to watch him, to see him interact with these women. It would also be that much easier if I hated him. But as badly as I wanted to hate Aiden for this predicament, I couldn’t. I was angry with him, I was hurt by the way he was treating me, and I didn’t particularly care to be in a house with him, but I could never hate him.
* * * * *
I enjoyed my time with Allison. The day had disappeared before I knew it. I’d missed out on a lot while I was in Belize, and Allison filled me in as we walked in the gym, and then more over lunch, and even more at dinner. She’d tried her best to talk me into having dinner with everyone else, but I refused. She’d ended up eating with me in the kitchen for both meals.
My thoughts did occasionally wander to Aiden. I didn’t know what time he’d returned from his date, or whatever it was, with JoJo. Allison and I had watched a movie toward the end of the evening, and now I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep.
The house was quiet. As usual, I tossed and turned and allowed my mind to drift. I thought about my sisters. I thought about April. I thought about Kellan. I thought about what had led me here—to this huge, lonely room. I thought about my talks with Allison. She had rattled on and on about her friend, Libbey and everything that had happened since I was gone. She had a ballet coming up, and she wanted me to attend. She was planning to end things with the guy she’d been dating. His name was William, and he was also a dancer. She told me about Aiden and his moods. I pretended as if I didn’t care, but I was glad to know that he’d been miserable—at least in part.
I’d told her about my time in Belize, which included a long discussion about Kellan and my reasons for keeping my pregnancy and Lyric a secret. I was relieved to hear that she understood, even though she didn’t like it very much. She asked if I missed Kellan, and I told her I did. She said she could see the sadness in my eyes when I spoke of him. I told her it was only a friendship, the same as it had always been, but it was a very special friendship.
Turning over in bed, I let out a sigh. It was dark except for the light streaming from the bathroom. I stared at the ceiling as I lay there, my mind still traipsing back and forth. My thoughts gravitated to Aiden. He was down the hall—I’d heard him with Lyric a little while ago. Had he just made it home from his date with JoJo?
I listened intently to Lyric’s little noises sifting through the baby monitor. They were typically the last sounds I heard as I drifted off to sleep. Tonight I was wide awake and I couldn’t turn off my thoughts of Aiden—the one person, other than my father, that I forced myself to not think about.
I was furious with Aiden, and it was easy to discern the feeling was mutual…but I still loved him—much more than I wanted, much more than I should. Neither time nor distance would ever change that. When you loved someone as deeply as I’d loved Aiden, it not only changed you—it owned you. It didn’t matter where he was or who he was with, he’d always have a claim on my heart.
And what was that in the nursery this morning? That energy between us…did he want to fuck me? Or was he attempting to test the waters, to see if he still had an effect on me? Either way, those few moments with him had been in the back of my head all day. And now, as I thought of the look in his eyes when he stared at me, it made me terribly needy for him. This was the last thing I should want. It was just one more thing to muddy the waters.
It sounded as if Lyric was about to awake. I didn’t look at the monitor, I just pulled the sheets back and walked toward my bedroom door. Hoping to avoid a run-in with Sienna, I slowly opened it and peeked outside. She’d been spending a considerable amount of time in the nursery with Lyric. I could easily see she was enjoying being a grandmother, but she still had issues with me. She and I hadn’t really said very much to each other beyond exchanging disingenuous pleasantries.
Opening the nursery door, I tip-toed in to see that Lyric was sleeping peacefully. He was lying on his back, his arms stretched above his head.
Smiling, I turned to leave and gasped upon colliding with Aiden’s rock-hard frame. Holy fuck! I’d breathed in the delicious scent
of his skin before I could turn away. I damned near moaned aloud when the potency of it took ahold of me.
I was instantly hypnotized by the exquisite contours of his chest. I knew I should have turned back, but now it was too late. The visceral savagery his body induced had already overpowered me, compelling me, so much that I nearly reached out to touch him. I fisted my hands and willed myself to look away, but it was of no use. Unwelcome lust had quickly taken root—it was clawing at me, demanding that I feast in the delight that was Aiden Raine.
Chapter Five
I wanted to step back, but my pretense of control had not only slipped, it had vanished. My eyes travelled over him at a glacial pace, coveting every inch of his shirtless torso. I allowed my gaze to move down his body. He was wearing gray shorts, and his feet were bare. The shorts were hanging low on his waist, revealing the sexy trail of hair that led to a forbidden treasure.
I’d imagined him naked countless times when I was in Belize. Recalling extremely vivid images of his anatomy had become a guilty pleasure. The memories had been absolute torture, but I couldn’t help myself. And seeing him now, up close and personal, had an indescribable effect on every part of me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and lifted my eyes to meet his, only to be greeted by the heat of the contemptuous glare to which I’d become accustomed. He stepped aside and moved past me. I watched as he walked down the hall. His body was fucking insane. He was truly a beautiful sight to behold—both going and coming. I stood dead in my tracks, ogling his defined back and shoulder muscles, and then overdosing on his calves as they flexed with each step. I jolted from my trance when he stopped at the entrance to my bedroom. He didn’t look back at me. Instead, he opened the door and stepped inside.
I mindlessly headed toward my room and followed him into the darkness. As soon as I crossed the threshold, his large hands grasped my shoulders, pulling me to him. He closed the door and I pushed him away—not that my motion did anything to sway his unyielding position. He grabbed my hands, moving them from his chest, and pressed his hard body against me. Moving me against the wall, he firmly sealed his mouth over mine as I struggled to free myself from his grasp. I opened my mouth to protest, but his tongue quickly darted inside. My struggles soon morphed into acquiescence—my body no longer rigid. Unable to help myself, I totally surrendered.
His breathing was rushed and ragged as his eager mouth found my nape. He moved his tongue roughly across my skin while his hands impatiently explored my body, each touch more aggressive than the last. His mouth attacked my neck, sucking hard as he reached underneath my shirt. I was a mass of moans and whimpers as his touch became more desperate and then something inside me floated away as he took control of my body.
My hands moved wildly over his back, my nails nearly penetrating his skin. He cupped my breast and then bit my nipple through the shirt. A pained cry escaped me as I arched into the aggression of his desire. Pushing my top up, he groped my other breast, his fingers rolling and tugging the erect bud while his free hand massaged and pulled at my other breast, lavishing them both with the burning heat of his touch.
He planted kisses on my stomach as he moved down my body, his hands at my waist, tearing away my shorts—and then he was on his knees. His mouth was suddenly between my legs. Grasping my leg, he lifted it over his shoulder, and his tongue dived between the heated folds of my sex. I moaned loudly as my hands found his hair, fisting it as I shoved his mouth deeper into me. His head moved frantically as he lapped away at my pussy, unable to get all that he wanted.
In a rush, he stood and pulled me toward him and then turned us so that his back was against the wall. Lowering me to the floor onto my back, he grabbed my waist, lifting me so that I was upside down. Effortlessly, he lifted me, pulling me toward his mouth, and then his tongue speared into me, satisfying his need to devour my pussy with such an ardent intensity that it almost frightened me. Blood rushed to my head and the room started to spin as he licked and sucked on my clit like a starved man. I felt faint when the overwhelming need to come collided with the unrestrained carnality of his impatient mouth. My body quaked violently, and I reached for his leg to steady myself as wave after wave of passion flowed through me. He sucked the wet, silky flesh until my body calmed, and then he lowered me to the floor and hurriedly removed his shorts. He wasn’t wearing underwear. All I saw was the blur of his huge cock moments before he lowered himself atop me and shoved his dick inside me with a fierce grunt.
“Oh fuck,” he groaned as he stared down at me.
He stilled and my nails were at his back, sliding down his taut skin.
“Ahh,” he growled, and he reached for my hands, securing them over my head. The light from the bathroom trickled into the room, touching his face. He looked into my eyes and for a brief moment, the anger was gone, giving way to the desire that had captured us both. I searched his dark eyes as he moved in and out of me. He looked torn, as if deciding how he wanted to fuck me.
“Why, Aria? Why do you drive me to this?” he murmured. His eyes slowly hardened and he began violently thrusting into me. The anger had taken over—he knew now exactly how he wanted to fuck me. He wanted to punish me.
I cried out, and he clamped his palm over my mouth and viciously pumped his thick hardness into me, over and over again, filling me with each brutal thrust. He buried his face in my neck and then quickened his pace, delivering deep, hard plunges into me. His grasp on me tightened as his release called at him. I felt the slight pulse of his cock inside me, and he pulled out just before he came. Lifting his head from my neck, he looked down at me. I could see the anger, the hurt, and the confusion in his eyes. I knew exactly what I was seeing because I felt the same. He didn’t kiss me. He didn’t say he loved me. He just looked at me as his seed spurted on my abdomen. At the last jerk, he rolled over onto the floor beside me.
The air around me was thick with his essence. Closing my eyes, I tried to concentrate on catching my breath. We both lay there for some time, and our breathing finally settled. He stood, and I looked up at him, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. Then I watched him slip back into his gym shorts and casually walk out of the room.
I could still smell him, and my head was swimming with the rich scent of our sex. It engulfed me. A tear slid from the corner of my eye as I lay there, lonely and hurt by the harshness of the last several minutes. Another tear fell, and then another. I lowered my hand to my stomach and felt the thick mass of his release, and the tears streamed faster. I was once again in that dark abyss, the same black hole in which I’d resided in Belize, drowning in a torrent of tears, wondering if the nightmare would ever end.
* * * * *
The next morning I awoke with a tinge of soreness and a shitload of regret. Easing out of bed, I trudged to the bathroom, attempting to discern the degree of physical versus mental pain. I glanced at the area near the wall where it had all taken place. I closed my eyes and thought back to his touch, his taste, his smell…and his punishment. I shook my head in anguished disbelief and continued to the bathroom. I didn’t understand how I’d ended up getting fucked on the floor of my bedroom last night. And what had he meant by “Why do you drive me to this?”
I stared at my image in the bathroom mirror. The brightness of my hazel eyes was missing. It seemed to fade more with each passing day. I couldn’t believe I’d actually had sex with Aiden. Maybe it was inevitable…but not like that. I traced my fingers over the lips he’d kissed, easily recalling his focused assault.
I had many recollections of how it had been with him in the past—the passion, the intensity…all of it. But I hadn’t actually considered having sex with him again, not with the current state of our relationship. There was too much that remained unspoken. There was too much anger. Last night certainly proved that.
Of course, I still found him unbelievably attractive—that would never change. But did I want things to play out the way they had last night? Hell no! But something had happened when he touched me. I’d l
et go of every reservation and given in to the irresistible pull that he and I had for each other. It penetrated all of the regret, the blame, and the anger. But in the end, after the lust-filled minutes had passed, the regret and anger rushed back. Last night had added yet another thread to the complex pattern of what had become our lives. I didn’t know how much longer he and I could continue to do this to each other.
I slowly dressed, then grabbed my phone and went to the nursery. I was pleasantly surprised to find Pauline humming as she changed Lyric’s diaper. I liked Pauline, much more than I did Anja. If Lyric had to have a nanny, I would be okay with Pauline, but I needed to find a way to get rid of Anja.
Glancing out the window, the bright light of the morning sun proved to be a huge dose of inspiration. I should get out of this place for a while. Maybe I’d reward myself with a shopping trip once I’d lost those ten pounds.
Once Pauline finished, she passed Lyric to me. I smiled as I pulled him close—he was as happy to see me as I was to see him. He was my one and only bright spot. I snuggled him in my arms and stroked his chubby cheek. He was such a beautiful baby. And even in the midst of the craziness, I loved seeing more and more of Aiden in him each time I looked at our son.
After feeding Lyric, I snapped some pictures of him and sent them to Kellan and my sisters. Pauline had returned with a basket of Lyric’s clothing and was busy folding and putting them away. Lyric was playing with his rattle as he sucked on his paci. He was content for the time being so I ventured downstairs to take a swim. I cautiously stepped out of the nursery, hoping I didn’t run into Aiden. I wasn’t prepared to face him.
Trotting downstairs, I went to the closest indoor pool, only passing a few staff on my way, with no sign of Aiden. I grabbed one of the towels and unhurriedly walked across the marble deck. I’d come downstairs without my swimsuit, but my panties and bra could pass for one, so that would have to do. If anyone saw me, oh well. I didn’t care.