by Lilly Wilde
“Aria, what do you expect? You’ve robbed me of something that was mine, and each time I look at you, I’m reminded of what you’ve done. I can’t help that.”
I winced. “Your feelings are warranted. I know that. I’ve accepted that. But that doesn’t make it any easier, and it doesn’t make what you’re doing right.”
“I’m furious with you, Aria, and at times it takes everything in me to remain civil. That’s all I can do at this point.”
“I know I’ve hurt you in one of the worst ways possible, but I think you’re masking a large majority of that hurt with anger because it makes it easier for you. That’s not fair to me.”
“Yes, I’m hurt. How could I not be? Did you expect me to have no feelings?”
“I expected you to show me more respect.”
“I expected the same,” he replied.
“And since you didn’t get what you wanted, you punish me.”
“I treat you as well as I can under the circumstances.”
“I’m your hostage. Don’t you see that?”
He stood and walked closer to the water. “You’re free to leave whenever you wish, Aria.”
“Why are you doing this? What…do you get off on hurting me? It’s not as if I said, okay, let’s see how I can hurt Aiden. Oh, I know. I’ll get pregnant, not tell him and hide his child forever.”
“It doesn’t matter if you planned it or not—the end result is the same.”
I rushed towards him and stared him in the eye. “Since I hurt you, you’re hurting me. Is that how you justify your behavior? You can’t be serious.”
“You had your way of rationalizing what you did, didn’t you?”
“I had no idea of how much of a childish asshole you could really be!”
His brows shot up. “You label me as childish, yet you’re the one shouting and name calling. That’s rich, Aria.”
“It’s you. You do this to me! And the way we’re interacting with each other…it’s unhealthy, Aiden. You want to punish me. I get it, but sooner or later you have to put on your big boy pants and let it go so that you can focus on being the parent that Lyric deserves.”
“Surely you don’t think you’ve been the paragon of—” He closed his eyes and slowly exhaled. “I’m not doing this—I’m not going to fight with you.”
“That’s the one thing we can agree on,” I said, and walked past him on my way back to the house.
Chapter Eight
It didn’t appear as if I’d be leaving the Raines’ anytime soon, but I couldn’t continue sitting idle and anticipating the unfurling of the latest dramatic episode of my life. I needed something to pour my time into—I needed to get back to work, and I needed to have something outside of the sadness.
I would’ve loved to return to RPH but that was a piece that wouldn’t fit into my world right now, so I reached out to a local publishing company in hopes of securing something to help pass the time. I spoke with a colleague at Goubert Books and then followed up with an email.
I then opened another message, and this time I addressed it to Aiden. I sent my blog login and password information to him. Despite our impasse, this was something to which he was entitled. He needed this and I wanted to give it to him.
I’d chronicled almost every day of my pregnancy. It was disappointing that I was unaware of the first few months of it. My first blog entry was about Aiden and some small hints as to the date of conception. I’d excluded the more lascivious details, but I’d included enough specifics to touch on the memory of those naked December days at the penthouse.
He’d made the icy days of December feel like the sweaty heat of the Mojave Desert. The smoldering gaze of his eyes alone could elicit heat in the middle of the arctic. And he’d created more than just heat this past December. A lot more!
When was the exact moment? I didn’t really know, but if I had to guess, it would have been directly after the strip tease in the kitchen. We’d made a baby. A baby! Shock and fear paralyzed me for several minutes after the news had been delivered, but then I touched my stomach and smiled. I wanted this baby. I wanted this special gift, and I wanted to share it with him.
It was no secret I was a little dismal when it came to relationships, and although I didn’t think I was anything like the Grinch, I couldn’t help but make a comparison when I’d felt as though my heart had grown four times its size because of this news. I was going to have a baby. I was going to have his baby. The man I loved more than anything. The man who’d made me see that love was possible, even for someone who was as broken as I. I wondered how he’d react to the news. My palm was still on my stomach as I considered the possible responses…and then I was frightened. What if this news wasn’t something he could handle? That he could accept?
I guess a part of me always felt I would share this with Aiden. There were several descriptive entries of how I was feeling, the changes in my body and my emerging view of motherhood. There were also countless pictures of Lyric and a few with Lia, Bianca and April—and several more of Kellan and me in various poses with Lyric. I knew Aiden wouldn’t like those parts, but I didn’t see the point in concealing any of it.
Closing my laptop, I placed it on the nightstand and glanced at the baby monitor—Lyric was sound asleep. Now what? I wondered if Aiden was asleep, or maybe he was at his desk working on Raine Industries business. Had he finished his workout? Was he stepping out of the shower? Was he dripping wet? Was he lying in bed? Was he naked?
I wanted to shut that part of my brain off, but once I’d flipped it on, I couldn’t shut it down. I pictured my hands on his cock, stroking it as it expanded. I imagined rubbing his thick mass of pleasure across my lips, teasing him with my mouth. Before I knew it, my hand was between my legs, massaging my clit as various prurient scenarios played out in my mind.
It didn’t take long to realize I needed more than fingers and toys. I hopped out of bed, slipped off my panties, and walked from my bedroom. I knew this was a bad idea, but I couldn’t turn around now, even if I tried. I was in a lust-induced trance and needed to have this—needed to have him.
I knew the more I engaged with him sexually, the more emotionally charged I’d become, and as infuriating as life was with him already, I didn’t stop. I simply ignored the part of my brain that was shouting at me to turn back. I looked to see if anyone spotted me before I opened his door and stepped inside. Aside from the moonlight filtering in from the partially opened drapes, his bedroom was dark.
I wasn’t sure if I’d awakened him when I opened the door, because he didn’t move. Stepping further into the room, I reached the bed and pulled back the sheets. I couldn’t quite make out his facial expression, and I really didn’t care—it wasn’t his face I was in need of. I needed to fuck him…plain and simple.
I grasped the top of his boxers and he didn’t say a word. He lifted himself, and I hurriedly pulled the shorts down his long, firm body. Dropping the boxers, I reached into the darkness, seeking his large cock and finding it lying heavily against his thigh. Hell yes! This…this is what I wanted. I leaned down to take him into my mouth, moaning as I sheathed his thick length. It felt like a long overdue treat, lavishing points of eroticism into my mouth. His hands were already on my head, guiding my pace as he started with quick, deep thrusts into my mouth. His dick was an oversized piece of dessert, and I wanted to overindulge. I could have easily consumed it all night, but I didn’t come to his room to give him pleasure, I came to receive it. And as much as I was enjoying the feel of him in my mouth, I knew it was that much more pleasing for him, so I stopped and pushed his hands away.
“Fuck, why’d you stop?” he whispered.
Because I’m in control. “Because I want to fuck you,” I said, as I climbed into his bed and straddled his lean, muscular frame. Moving my hands over his chest, I braced myself—lifting my body slightly over his and reaching down to guide his cock to the one place it would always belong. I teased my pussy, moving the tip of his dick over my swollen
lips. Merely stroking the full head along my flesh sent a steady stream of pulsing heat through my body. Then I slowly sank onto him, taking in every inch of his thick hardness. My teeth pierced my bottom lip and I let out a low moan when I stilled, absorbing the complexity of the delicious pain. My pussy clenched tightly around him, possessing his large cock. I moved my hips ever so slightly, allowing the fullness to penetrate every part of me…to stretch me further…to hurt me.
“Shh…” he breathed. “Fuck, you feel good.”
I began rolling my hips, slowly at first, allowing my pussy to adjust to his girth. Oh shit! He was so large, so huge that it filled and strained every space, yielding a myriad of sensation that heightened as I began undulating faster, giving him just as much as he was giving me. And what he was giving me was almost too much.
He slipped his large hands underneath my nightie and squeezed my full, aching breasts. I arched into his touch, overtaken by the heat and salacious energy that enclosed us. This felt wrong, forbidden, but I didn’t care—I craved it. I relished it. I needed to come. I started lifting my hips and then quickly and forcefully dropping onto him, over and over again, riding him like I couldn’t get enough.
I didn’t want to stop, but I wanted to feel more of him so I slowed my pace until I’d stilled. Pulling my legs toward me and squatting over him, I turned so that I was facing his feet. Then I grabbed his dick and slowly eased down to the root, refilling my wet center and gyrating slowly, making him feel all of me.
Gripping my hips, he urged me to increase my pace. I rolled my body into his, bouncing my ass on his cock. His groans of pleasure resonated around me, driving me to move faster. Fucking him from this angle hurt like hell, but there was no way I’d stop. I couldn’t. I took the pleasure and the pain of every divine inch, riding him hard and fast, clutching his legs and moaning shamelessly as my insides triggered a warning. I was about to explode.
“Fuck, you’re going to make me come,” he grunted.
And that’s exactly what I was doing. I cried out as the turbulent vigor of my orgasm tore through me. It was an endless stream of heat, rolling through me in violent waves. My body jerked as the last remnant of my release pulsed deep within my core.
His cock throbbed inside me, signaling that he was about to claim his own release. His hands were on my waist, bruising my skin as he pushed me down on his cock. I grabbed his hands and forcefully peeled them away and then lifted my body from his, allowing his come to spray over him. I climbed out of bed as his grunts continued and watched him stroke the last thick drops of semen from his shaft. I wanted to taste of him, but thought better of it and pulled my nightie down. I glanced toward his face one final time and then walked from the room, closing the door softly behind me.
* * * * *
I was in the gym with Allison, and she was rattling on and on about something, and as usual, I’d missed half of what she was saying. I was thinking of Aiden. Why did I fuck him last night? Why did he let me? And why had I already fantasized about more?
When I was in Belize, I’d missed Aiden terribly. I’d longed for the feel of his strong hands, trailing softly along my skin. I’d craved his seductive lips lingering on mine. I’d envisioned him groping my breasts, twisting my nipples, biting them… tugging them… driving me insane. I’d imagined his voice whispering dirty words in my ear as he pushed his cock deeper into me. My erotic memories had been one of my nostalgic pastimes. On several occasions, I’d forced myself to stop, but there’d been countless times I’d masturbated to thoughts of him inside me.
I was in the same house with him now, closer in proximity than we’d been for months, and we’d had sex twice within the last few days, yet it was not at all what I’d imagined. It was hot as hell—I’d masturbated twice this morning just thinking about it. The problem was the distance and the anger. It was a mess, but underneath it all, there was a need…and that need had taken over.
I couldn’t stay here much longer. Aiden clouded my judgment—he made me weak. That had to stop and if the only way to make it stop was to get away from him, then that’s exactly what I’d do. I just didn’t know how.
“So will you?”
“Huh?”
“Will you have dinner with us tonight?” Allison asked.
“Us?”
“The family.”
“Whose family? Yours?”
“Yes, mine. Who else would I be talking about?” she asked.
“Are you kidding? That’s a horrible idea, Allison.” I looked past her and continued bicycling.
“Why? This is crazy. We live in the same house. We’re in each other’s lives forever now. Is it impossible to share a meal together?”
“There’s so much tension and hostility. I don’t know if I’m ready to have a concentrated dose of it. It’s difficult as it is just dealing with Aiden.”
Allison slowed the treadmill and when it came to a stop, she stepped off and walked over to me. “I’ll be there and I’ll help diffuse any tension. I promise. Please.”
I looked into her hopeful eyes and shook my head. “Why is this so important to you?”
“Because I love you, and I love my brother, and I want this to work.”
I loved Allison, too, and despite everything, her support for me and our friendship was still intact. I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Fine, I’ll do it.”
“Really?” She was all smiles.
“Yes, really.”
“It’s going to be fine. You’ll see.” She pulled me into a hug. “Okay, I have to shower and change. I’m meeting Libbey for lunch.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
* * * * *
“I thought you could sit here,” Allison said. She was standing near Aiden’s chair when I entered the dining room. I knew what she was trying to do, but it wouldn’t work. I almost turned away but caught myself and decided to face them. I glanced around the room. The entire family was here and all eyes were on me. Just great. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of thinking they intimidated me. I glanced at Aiden, and he greeted me with that fuming glare that he reserved especially for me. I didn’t care anymore. I knew exactly how I would play this going forward. I smiled and walked over to the chair and took a seat. “Good evening, everyone.”
Aiden’s sister, Sloan, was the first to speak. “Hi, Aria. It’s so good to see you. I finally had a chance to meet my nephew. He’s gorgeous. He’s stolen my heart already,” she said. Sloan had been out of town on Raine Industries business. This was my first time seeing her since I was here last year—and that seemed like eons ago.
“Hi, Sloan. And thank you. He’s pretty special.” I felt Aiden’s eyes on me. I knew what I’d see if I looked up at him, so I looked at Nicholas instead. “Hello, Nicholas. Welcome home.”
“Hello, beautiful. I have to agree with Sloan. That little guy has me hooked. He and I had a pretty awesome conversation. I introduced myself as his Uncle Nick and told him I should be the one he comes to when his dad is being an ass, so I expect Lyric and I will spend a lot of time together,” he laughed and looked at Aiden.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Oh? And how did Lyric reply?”
“He smiled and said okay.”
“Did he? And here I thought he only talked to me.”
“He’s going to be a genius just like his father,” Sienna said. I looked toward her and my smile faded as suddenly as hers. I reached for a glass of water, a convenient excuse to look in another direction.
“I’m surprised you’ve decided to join us for dinner, Aria,” Sienna said.
Allison piped in before I could reply. “Mommy, it was my idea. I don’t think she should eat alone. We’re a family, and we should be together. Isn’t that right, Daddy?”
Connor looked at Sienna and then back at Allison. “That’s right, sweetheart,” he said, and then glanced at me. “I’m glad you agreed to join us, Aria.”
There was silence.
“Well, if she’s more comfortable dining separatel
y, who are we to insist otherwise?” Sienna asked, but no one replied.
Sienna’s comment muted the room.
I scanned everyone at the table—they were all staring at the Raine matriarch. Nicholas shook his head and Sloan sighed as she reached for her glass.
Connor broke the uncomfortable silence. “You’re welcome to join us whenever you want. In fact, I insist,” Connor said, refuting his wife’s words.
“Thank you, Connor,” I looked at Allison and, despite the obvious, she still appeared hopeful about this dinner. I, on the other hand, had no such delusions.
“You seem to have adjusted quite easily to being a mother, Aria,” Sienna said.
“It’s not been without its challenges, but being Lyric’s mom is amazing. It makes it all worth it.”
“How is your friend? Kellan, isn’t it? Or is he more of a boyfriend?” Sienna probed.
Oh my God. Why did I agree to this shit? “Excuse me?”
Aiden tensed beside me. His hand curved around the edge of the table, his knuckles white from the force with which he gripped the thick wood. I watched as his grasp slowly loosened and he eased his hand from the table, but he didn’t say anything.
“Mom, can you stop?” Allison pleaded.
“Allison, I’m doing what I’ve always done. Are you saying I can’t engage in dinner conversation now that Aria has joined us?”
“I promised Aria that we would all get along. I want her here with us.”
“Allison, it’s fine. I’m sure Sienna was just curious,” I said, hoping my tolerance of Sienna would have a calming effect on Allison.
“Aria, now that we have Lyric to consider, I think we would all be interested in hearing what your plans are regarding this Kellan person.” Sienna queried.
I glared at Sienna thinking of the many ways I’d love to torture her. So much for tolerance.
“Mother, either you stop making Aria uncomfortable, or I’ll make sure you’re very uncomfortable,” Aiden threatened. He set his glass of wine on the table and glanced at Sienna.