Gone Too Far

by Angela Winters

  “I don’t hate her,” Carter argued.

  “I know you don’t hate her,” Leigh agreed, leaning in. “You love her, and if I was a psychiatrist, I’d have a word for whatever this is you’re doing.”

  “But you’re not, so…”

  “You need to take it easy on her now,” Leigh said. “With everything she is going through, she doesn’t need you making it harder on her.”

  “Avery brings trouble on herself,” Carter scoffed.

  Leigh made a smacking sound with her lips. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself. It isn’t as if you didn’t have a hand in ending her marriage.”

  Carter frowned, confused. “What are you talking about?”

  Everyone in the family knew that Anthony’s accident was a result of Avery telling him she was leaving him.

  “Just back off of her,” Leigh said. “If not for her sake, then for Connor’s. This situation is hard enough on the baby. A divorce—”

  “What divorce?” Carter asked, shocked.

  Leigh’s body stiffened as she realized what she’d done. “Oh…I thought you knew.”

  “What are you talking about?” Carter’s tone belied his desperation. Had he heard right?

  “She canceled on me because she was too upset. She said that her marriage was over and that she had left Anthony.”

  “She said that?” Carter asked her tentatively, as if giving her one last chance to take it back. “She is leaving him. She…Why?”

  “She didn’t want to tell me why,” Leigh said. “And the fact that she didn’t tell you tells me I better stop talking.”

  “I have a right to know what is going on with my daughter,” Carter insisted.

  Leigh started for the door, not sure what she had just started. Before leaving, she said, “She just said she and Connor are going to live with her parents in Baldwin Hills.”

  Carter wasn’t sure what he was feeling as he stood alone in the foyer of the house. She left him. She left him! She had listened to him and must have gotten Anthony to tell her the truth. She was leaving him! Carter couldn’t stop the thoughts from racing through his head, but they were all too far away to grasp and make sense of. The only thing that seemed firm in his mind was that he had to talk to her, had to see her.

  He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he reached into his pocket for his cell. For whatever reason, before he pressed the speed-dial button to reach Avery, it struck him where the number was. She was still number one. After all this time, she was still at the top of his speed-dial list, and although he had changed phones a few times since putting her there, he’d never moved her down. Julia had never gotten above number two.

  Why did something so trivial and insignificant bother him all of a sudden? Why did it anger him that he hadn’t been able to remove her from that spot? He knew why. It was because he knew, without having to check, that he wasn’t number one on her speed dial, and he hadn’t been for a while. Why hadn’t she called him? Why did he have to hear about this from Leigh in passing?

  Carter knew he had to stop this, all of it. He had to stop running to a woman who only seemed to hurt him, and he had to stop making it his purpose in life to hurt her. This game was over and everyone lost. Things had gone too far to go back and too far to start over. The only thing to do was move on.

  No, it wasn’t Avery he needed to call. It was Julia.

  Lunch at Cecconi’s was not going very well for Leigh and Max. When she’d arrived, she was disappointed to find Kelly was already there. Max spotted her and waved her over. She reluctantly approached and was met with a brief smile as Max kept his attention on his phone conversation. Kelly had already ordered a selection of cicchetti, which the waiter placed on the table just as Leigh arrived. Despite the dirty looks Leigh gave him, Max seemed reluctant to get off the phone, only holding up a finger to beg her patience.

  Leigh tried to engage Kelly in small talk, but the woman clearly didn’t want to talk to her. Leigh had the feeling that her presence here was a threat to Kelly, but she didn’t really care. She just wanted her to leave so she could have a real conversation with Max. After he finally got off the phone, Max infuriated Leigh by engaging in small talk with her and political talk with Kelly. It wasn’t until dessert arrived, which Kelly had also preordered, that Kelly excused herself from the table to return to the office.

  “You look lovely,” Max said, reaching for his fork to dig into the panna cotta. “You should wear red more often. It’s a very attention-getting color.”

  “You seem to be immune.” Leigh met his glance with a terse one of her own to match her tone.

  Max smiled. “I’m sorry, Leigh. It’s very busy these days. The campaign is about to gear up. I hope you understand.”

  “Why was she here?” Leigh asked.

  Max paused and lightly sighed as if he knew an argument was coming. “You’re the one who wanted us to appear as just friends. Kelly makes a good buffer and an excuse to say this was policy related.”

  “Or maybe it was to avoid talking to me.”

  Max casually tugged at his sharp blue tie. “I’m talking to you now, but I can see that fact isn’t going to soothe you.”

  “This is about my family, right?”

  “I was only complying with your request to make it appear as if—”

  “I’m not talking about that and you know it.” Leigh leaned in. “I’m talking about what happened at my house and how you’ve been avoiding me since.”

  “It’s been two days.”

  “Why did I have to call you?”

  “Why wouldn’t you have to call me?” he asked. “Do you expect me to be the only chaser here?”

  Leigh frowned in exasperation. “Don’t you dare. This is not about chasing and romance. This is about you being scared shitless about my family.”

  Max made a dismissive frown. “Is that what you think?”

  “I understand that my family can be a real turnoff,” Leigh said, “but you could at least—”

  “Do you think I’m stupid, Leigh?”

  Taken off guard, Leigh wasn’t sure how to respond. She leaned back, trying to study the flat expression that took over his face. “I didn’t call you stupid.”

  “Wouldn’t I have to be if I didn’t know what your family was like?” he asked. “Granted, the show that was put on was a bit much, but I don’t scare that easily. It appears, however, that you do.”

  “You want to explain that to me?” She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “I can explain it to you as soon as you explain to me why you told your mother I wouldn’t be coming to Michael’s birthday dinner.”

  Leigh laughed to cover her annoyance. “I was just certain that you wouldn’t want to—”

  “I can speak for myself,” he said sternly. “You know that, so I assumed you spoke out to keep me from doing so.”

  Leigh could have tried to find excuses, but she wasn’t good enough at lying to pull it off, and from the look on Max’s face, he didn’t have the patience anyway.

  “I think you did it because the idea of me coming to Michael’s dinner meant that this was real, that our relationship was no longer an extension of some vacation romance.”

  Max’s cell, lying on the table next to his plate, began to vibrate, and Leigh wished he would be rude and answer it. Instead, he reached over and turned it off, never taking his eyes off her.

  “It wasn’t your idea to have me come over for dinner that night, right? It was your mother. If it was up to you, I wouldn’t have even met your family yet.”

  After a moment’s pause, Leigh finally said, “You’re right. But you have to understand that you and I becoming an ‘us’ is more than just an ‘us.’”

  “I know,” Max said. “It’s more than a relationship, and that is why I was willing to keep its status a secret from the public, but I didn’t know you were going to keep it secret from me too.”

  “I was only hoping we could navigate this be
tween the two of us before any families got involved.”

  “No, Leigh. You were hoping you could navigate this by yourself before you got involved.”

  Leigh’s mouth opened in protest, but nothing came out. She was hurt by his words.

  “I’m in love with you, Leigh.”

  Leigh’s eyes widened in surprise and shock. “What?”

  Max’s expression was starkly serious, his eyes holding hers with an intent strength. “I’m in love with you, and I haven’t allowed myself to feel that since my wife. I knew going into this that you aren’t the kind of woman a man can just date. And although I understand what you’ve gone through, and I’m just as concerned about the public consequences of our relationship, I’m willing to work through that. I know what your family is, but I don’t care. I know who you are and you’re what I want.”

  Leigh was affected deeply by his words, and by the strength and determination in his tone. He just didn’t understand.

  “How can you know so soon?” she asked.

  Leigh could tell from Max’s reaction that he was disappointed in her response. She was making a mess of this and she knew it, but she was scared. She was just so scared and confused as to why he wasn’t.

  “I don’t want you to think I’m not happy that you feel that way about me, but I’m just not as brave as you.”

  “Bullshit,” he snapped back. “I wouldn’t let myself fall in love with a woman who wasn’t at least as brave as me.”

  “You have to know that I feel strongly for you,” Leigh said. “I had vowed to stay away from men at least for now, but I couldn’t stay away from you. I wouldn’t have ever…shared myself with you if I didn’t have feelings.”

  “But?”

  She sighed. “I just need more time to know if this is something I want or something I’m supposed to want.”

  “You need time?” Max asked. “Well, I’m going to give it to you.”

  “I just need a few days to—”

  “You’ll get more than that.” Max raised his hand for the waiter to approach. He asked for the check before turning back to Leigh. “I’m leaving for D.C. tonight.”

  Leigh couldn’t hide how much that upset her. “Why? The session doesn’t begin for another couple of weeks.”

  “I have a lot to do.” Max picked up his napkin from his lap and placed it on the table. “And, frankly, I need to leave L.A. if I’m going to stay away from you.”

  “Why do you need to stay away from me?”

  “I’m already in love with you, Leigh. If it turns out you don’t feel the same, it’s going to be very hard on me. I need to prepare myself for that possibility.”

  “I don’t want to—”

  “So it’s best,” he interrupted, “if I just not see you. I’m looking at you now, and I want to take you on this table.”

  Leigh felt a tingling sensation run through her at the deep look in his eyes as he said this.

  “So you see,” he continued, reaching into his pocket, “I think leaving L.A. is the only way I can stay away from you.”

  Max stuffed a few bills in the billfold and handed it back to the waiter as he returned. He stood up from his chair, looking down at Leigh. “Call me when you know what you want.”

  Walking down the hallways of the private wing in the hospital, Carter was getting ugly looks from the nurses, and he knew why.

  “I have to go,” he said into his cell. “I’m not supposed to be on the phone in here, but make sure the meeting with Borst is rescheduled for—”

  He was only a few feet from Evan’s room when the door suddenly opened and Avery stepped out. Their eyes met and Carter froze. It was the first time he’d seen her since finding out that she had left Anthony and since threatening to take Connor away. During that time, Carter had made some big changes in his life that he was still dealing with, but mostly he had tried his best to keep from calling her. No matter how much he tried to distract himself, he couldn’t get her leaving Anthony out of his mind—and even more so the fact that she still had not told him. It was yet another obsession he had that centered around Avery, something he was trying desperately to stop.

  It was his weekend with Connor, so he knew he would have to deal with her in a couple of days, but he’d wanted to be more prepared so he could manage his feelings. He wasn’t used to having to manage his feelings, but Avery made him angry, excited, and nervous like no other woman could, so although he was no longer interested in hurting her, these surprise encounters could cause him a lot of trouble.

  Avery was jolted by this chance meeting too. She had timed her visits to the hospital to avoid anyone in the Chase family except Kimberly, whom she needed to get into Evan’s room. The degrading state of her relationship with Carter made it awkward for her to be around any of them. Kimberly had promised her no one was due until 4:00 p.m. Carter, the workaholic, was the last person she expected to see at noon.

  So much of her life had changed since she last spoke to him, when he had threatened to take Connor away from her. The threat was still fresh in her mind, and she had expected to hear from one of his lawyers or be served with some papers any day now. She lived in fear of this, because his last threat seemed so much more real than any of the others. Her response, harsher than any others, had made it even more serious. She couldn’t take it back because she meant it, and even if it was another empty threat, this had gone too far to play nice.

  Then there was the dissolution of her marriage and everything that she had ahead of her to deal with. Now here was Carter standing in front of her, not looking as angry as usual, but clearly not pleased to see her. No, the last thing she needed right now was to say anything that could escalate their drama. So what was she supposed to do? Trying to be civil had done nothing in the past, and she couldn’t ignore him. And then there was still that little part of her that wanted…She had to stop that thought before it finished.

  “Hello, Carter.” She spoke quickly as she passed him.

  “Avery.” Carter turned around. “Stop.”

  Avery took a deep breath and turned around. “I was just leaving. Kimberly said I could see him.”

  “I don’t care about you being here,” Carter said impatiently. “I wanted to know when you were going to tell me about your separation from Anthony?”

  Avery sighed, looking away. She had not yet rehearsed this conversation, having so many other important things to think about. She had been dreading his reaction, based on how he’d been treating her.

  “Why would I tell you?” Avery asked. “So you could throw an I-told-you-so in my face? You were right. He can walk.”

  “Why are you acting as if this is my fault?” he asked.

  “I’m not,” she answered. “This has nothing to do with you.”

  “Considering I’m the one who made you aware of this, I think it has to do with me.” Carter shoved his cell in the jacket pocket of his suit. “You could have told me.”

  “You would have found out eventually,” she said. “Besides, I’m not giving you any ammunition against me.”

  “Ammunition?” Carter shrugged, confused. “For what?”

  “For Connor. You think I don’t know what a disadvantage being a single parent against a married couple is in a custody battle? I don’t care if I’m single or you’re married to Julia or anyone else. I’m still not going to let you take my—”

  “I don’t want to take Connor away from you,” Carter said. He could see the look of disbelief on her face. “I was angry.”

  “You’re always angry.” Avery was trying to figure out how many grains of salt she should give his words. “Every time you get angry, you threaten to take her away from me. You can’t keep doing this.”

  “I won’t do it anymore,” Carter said. “No matter what has happened between us, I know you’re a great mother. I would never take Connor away from you.”

  Avery was touched by his words despite the voice in the back of her head telling her she couldn’t believe him. “All I�
��ve ever wanted to be was a good mother to Connor. You’ve been making it so hard.”

  “And I won’t anymore,” Carter said. Humility was hard for him, and this was making him feel guilty on top. “Look, Avery…I’m trying to move on with my life. For Connor’s sake, we’ll find a way to get along.”

  “That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Avery said, knowing it wasn’t entirely true. Even now, with all the madness her life had become, she still wanted him. She didn’t need him, but she wanted him.

  That was the problem, Carter said to himself. If only that could be all he ever wanted, too, things would be much easier. “Where should I pick Connor up from this Friday?”

  “My parents’ house,” Avery answered. “We’re staying there until I can get my own place.”

  “Then I’ll see you Friday.” Carter quickly turned and walked away.

  The haste with which he walked away from her only served to confuse Avery more. She was hopeful that he’d meant what he said, because although there had been lulls in his quest for vengeance, he had never gone so far as to praise her. On the other hand, the way he had just walked away from her told her that he didn’t want to spend a second more than he had to in her presence.

  “Maybe it’s an improvement,” she said to herself as she started off again.

  “Maybe what’s an improvement?”

  Avery turned back to see Kimberly only a few feet away from her. “How long have you been standing there?”

  “I just came out as Carter walked in.” Kimberly pointed to Evan’s room. “Are you talking to yourself?”

  “He can’t stand to be near me,” Avery said, “but I guess it is an improvement from wanting to be near me just so he can hurt me.”

  “Disregard can be more painful than cruelty to some people,” Kimberly said. “But I thought things were changing now.”

  “We’ll see, but even if he still hates me, at least he won’t use Connor to hurt me anymore.”

  Kimberly frowned, confused by Avery’s response. “We aren’t talking about the same thing, are we?”

  “I’m talking about Carter saying he wants to move on and stop threatening to take Connor away from me every time I make him mad. What are you talking about?”