Hidden Depths

by Ann Cleeves

  ‘If she worked in Hepworth, she might find our branch there more convenient than the city library. It opens only a few hours a week, but it’s very close to the school. Perhaps she just wanted to access her emails.’

  ‘Would you be able to tell us what she borrowed recently?’

  ‘Is it important?’

  ‘Probably not,’ Vera said. ‘But I’d be interested to know. Curiosity…’ She grinned at him. ‘Probably something writers and detectives have in common.’

  ‘I couldn’t tell you now, even if I went into work. Our system will be shut down for the day. I could look tomorrow and let you know if there any books outstanding on her ticket. I can’t do more than that.’

  ‘Do you think you can tell what people are like from what they read?’

  He laughed. ‘Absolutely not. Many of our readers are gentle old ladies, who adore the most gruesome American thrillers.’

  Vera found that she was enjoying herself. It was the wine, but he was good company. Easy. She’d been expecting someone restrained and dull, but now he seemed more relaxed too.

  ‘What got you into birding?’

  ‘A good teacher,’ Samuel said. ‘He took us on field trips. I grew up in a suburb of the city and it was a revelation to visit the hills. I suppose I have a romantic response to natural history rather than a scientific one. I enjoy beautiful things.’

  ‘Dr Calvert takes the scientific approach?’

  ‘Yes. We went to the same school. He’s a few years older than me, but we met in the Natural History Society. Separated for university, but we’ve been friends ever since. He was into science; I loved reading.’

  ‘Why did he do botany? Why not zoology?’

  ‘He says he prefers to have birdwatching as a pleasure, not a chore.’

  ‘Did you know that Gary had a new girlfriend?’

  The sudden switch in conversation didn’t seem to throw him. ‘I knew he’d fallen for someone.’ He paused. ‘It couldn’t have been the murdered girl, you know. That was the sort of woman he’d usually have gone for. But his latest conquest was different, I think. Someone older, someone he’d gone to school with. We laughed at him, asked if he was growing up at last. He’s in his thirties, but he’s always played the part of wild adolescent in our group.’

  ‘The new woman in his life is called Julie Armstrong. She’s the mother of a lad who was strangled in Seaton the Wednesday before Lily Marsh died.’ She looked up. ‘Hadn’t you heard? You’re such close friends, I’d have thought one of them would have told you. The others know.’

  ‘They might have tried to phone,’ he said. ‘I’ve been in meetings all day and I’ve only just got in.’

  ‘If Gary is the wild adolescent, what part does Clive play?’ She realized she’d finished her wine and put her glass on the table. She wondered if he’d offer her another, if she could accept it and still be under the limit.

  Samuel thought for a moment. ‘Clive’s an obsessive,’ he said. ‘A brilliant birder. The best of us by far. He reads field guides like I read fiction, but he remembers every word. He’s not wonderful company in the pub. He doesn’t make us laugh. Not like Gary. Not like Peter even, if he’s on form. But he finds the birds for us. He reminds us what brought us together in the first place.’

  ‘Where were you on Friday before you arrived at Fox Mill for the birthday party?’

  He looked at her over his glass. ‘Am I a suspect, Inspector?’ He wasn’t angry. He seemed to find the idea amusing.

  ‘I need to rule out anyone involved with the victim, even peripherally.’

  ‘I wasn’t. Not while she was alive.’ He set down the glass. ‘I’m sorry, Inspector, I shouldn’t take this lightly. You’re entitled to ask your questions. I was working on Friday afternoon in the library in Morpeth. I took some time back and left early. At about four o’clock. Then I came home. I was re-drafting a story. I wanted it finished to take with me that evening.’

  ‘A present for Dr Calvert? Something you’d written specially for his birthday?’

  ‘Nothing like that. Peter never reads fiction. Felicity enjoys my work. And I value her opinion. I wanted her to look at it before I sent it off to my agent.’

  Vera wanted to ask what the story was about, but could see that it probably wasn’t relevant. Perhaps she just wanted to prolong the interview so she wouldn’t have to return to an empty house.

  ‘Can anyone confirm that you were here? Any phone calls or visitors?’

  ‘I’m afraid not. And I never answer the phone when I’m writing.’

  ‘Perhaps a neighbour saw you leave for the party?’

  ‘You can check, Inspector, but I’d be surprised. This is a neighbourhood where people mind their own business.’ He smiled. ‘Some more wine, Inspector? Just half a glass as I know you’re driving.’

  She was tempted, but she shook her head and stood up. She wondered why he was being so pleasant to her. Men seldom bothered to make an effort with her and Samuel wasn’t flirting exactly, but he wanted her to like him. Was that habit? He worked with eccentric middle-aged women. Perhaps he’d developed it as a management style. Or did he have some other reason for wanting her onside?

  He walked with her to the door, shook her hand, and stood in the small front garden while she opened her car door. Driving away she felt she’d been in a small way seduced by him. He’d controlled the conversation. Things had gone just as he’d wanted.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Gary had been thinking all day about going to see Julie. The idea had got into his head and he couldn’t get shot of it. It was a bit like those annoying bits of music that run in a loop in your brain. That Comic Relief song a few years ago, for instance. You try to replace it with something better, but the effort just makes it worse and the crap song gets louder and louder, so you can hardly think straight.

  He’d been doing a technical rehearsal at the Sage, in the small space. He was working from the sound desk in the body of the hall. The artist was a poet, who spoke and sometimes sang with a band behind her. Usually when he was working, he couldn’t consider anything but getting the sound spot on. The Sage was tremendous for large orchestras, but something small and intimate like this, it was tricky to get the balance right. The band was good, bluesy and moody, and he wanted to do them justice. Though poetry wasn’t at all his thing he caught himself listening to the lyrics. Perhaps it was because the artist reminded him of Julie. She didn’t look like Julie – she was black, for one thing, and younger – but there was a warmth about her and she was big and she laughed a lot. So all day he’d been wondering about Julie and how he could get in contact with her, and whether that would be a good idea or just gross.

  He had a few hours free between the rehearsal and the performance. It would be a late-night gig, attracting people mellow from the bar and the arty crowd who didn’t have to get up in the morning. He walked down the steps towards the river, the heat hitting him after the air-conditioned building. You’d never think Gateshead could get this hot, he thought. Gateshead should be a biting east wind and sleet. At the top of the bank the Ferris wheel turned slowly. Looking back, the Sage was lit up, so you could see the two halls inside the outer skin of glass. He thought they looked like two great ships. The large hall was like a liner, with rows of decking, number two like a snub-nosed tug. He’d been intending to wander across the footbridge and into town to get some food, but suddenly changed his mind.

  He ran back up the steps to the car park and then he was in his van, the engine running, driving north. He wanted to see her house. It didn’t mean he’d come to a decision about seeing her. He could drive down the road, turn round and come straight back. But that would be better than nothing.

  Then he remembered them all in the pub after the Bird Club meeting, him talking about Julie and Peter mocking him. My God, how romantic the young are these days. All moonlight and flowers. And Gary, driving down the Heaton rat runs, avoiding the worst of the town traffic, knew that was what Julie had
come back to on the night her son had died. Moonlight and flowers. That was what the inspector had meant when she said Luke’s murder had been similar to Lily’s. It had been posed in the same way.

  He knew where Julie’s house was. He’d looked up her address in the phone book. It was only a quarter of a mile from where she’d lived as a kid. He’d grown up in the village too, though the other end, on the new private estate, which wasn’t new any more. It felt strange coming back. He’d come down the main road from Whitley every day on the bus when he was in high school. Memories came flooding into his head, at last pushing out his concern for what Julie would make of his turning up on the doorstep. Loud lads shouting on the top deck, throwing bags around. Him easing his arm round Lindsay Waugh’s shoulders, nibbling her ear lobe, while she blushed bright scarlet and everyone cheered. And sitting next to Clive, on their way to a green-winged teal on the River Blyth, pretending not to know him, because he was such a nerd and a geek, and what would Lindsay and the others say if they’d known Gary was a birder too.

  Without realizing it, he was in the village and turning into Julie’s street. It was six o’clock and the kids were out playing. A couple of mothers sat on the doorsteps watching them. Since Luke’s death he supposed this was how it would be. He was aware of their staring. A stranger in the street. If they hadn’t been there he would probably have gone to the end of the road, sat in the car, lost his bottle, and driven away. But they made him defiant. And cautious. He was Julie’s friend. What was wrong with paying his respects? Besides, one of them would probably have made a note of his registration number by now. If he drove straight off they’d be on to the police reporting a suspicious character, claiming they’d frightened him away.

  So he parked up right outside the house, and without looking at the staring women he walked up the path and knocked on the door. Standing there, he thought he should have brought something with him. A gift. But what? Not flowers. How insensitive would that be! Wine, perhaps; but then that would imply that he was gatecrashing a party. He stood, his hands slid into the front pockets of his jeans, because he didn’t know what else to do with them. Sometimes, after too much Stella and a vindaloo, he had this nightmare. He was standing on the stage at the City Hall in front of a full house, fiddling with a mic, the sound all wrong. Stark naked. That was how he felt now.

  The door opened. It was a young girl in school uniform. Sort of uniform. White shirt, short black skirt. No tie. He wondered if he’d got the wrong house, then remembered that Julie had another child, a daughter. He scrabbled in his mind for a name. Laura. But before he had a chance to call her by it, a middle-aged woman scurried out from the back. She had a pair of oven gloves dangling from one hand and the air of an ineffective bouncer. ‘Laura, pet, I told you to let me open the door’ The girl paused for a moment, staring at him, then she shrugged and disappeared upstairs.

  The older woman turned to Gary, more aggressive now. ‘Who are you? We’re not talking to reporters. The police’ll be back in a minute.’

  ‘I’m not a reporter. I’m a friend of Julie’s.’

  The woman stared at him. She had very small eyes, fierce.

  ‘Julie’s not up to seeing anyone.’

  He was about to give up, almost relieved. He could leave a message. That way at least Julie would know he was thinking about her. Then there was a voice, hardly recognizable. ‘Mam. Let him in. I want to see him.’

  The woman paused for a moment then stepped aside. Once he’d walked past her into the house, she shut the door loudly on the prying neighbours.

  He went through into the living room, noticed in passing how untidy it was, wondered if it was always like that. Considered briefly if he’d be able to live in such mess. It was certainly nothing like Fox Mill, which had always been his ideal home. The windows were covered by thin white blinds which kept out the worst of the sun and the prying eyes. They made the room shadowy. It was hard to make out detail. Then he saw Julie, curled on the sofa. He sat beside her, took her hand. The woman stood in the doorway, anxious and protective.

  ‘I was just getting dinner,’ she said. She was almost growling, the words coming from the back of her throat.

  ‘It’s all right, Mam. He’s a friend.’

  ‘I’ll be in the kitchen.’ That was directed to Gary. A warning and a threat. She glowered at him and left the room.

  ‘Sorry about Mam,’ Julie said.

  ‘Don’t worry. I’d be just the same if I was here looking after you.’

  She gave a brief smile. He stroked the back of her hand.

  ‘I’m so pathetic,’ she said. ‘I can’t do anything. I just sit here all day.’

  ‘You couldn’t be pathetic. Never.’

  ‘I should be strong for Laura.’

  He thought he could hear the echo of her mother’s words in the phrase. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure what he thought of Laura, skinny and long legged. There was something about her which reminded him of Emily and he found that disconcerting. Behind the blinds the window was open. The bairns in the street were playing a skipping game, chanting. He hadn’t heard anything like it recently. It was years since he’d seen girls skip. Perhaps one of the guardian mothers had taught it to them, dredging the rhyme out of her memory. It took him back to Seaton primary school, running round the playground with Julie Richardson, playing kiss chase on the green when nobody was looking. Perhaps she was having the same thoughts, because she joined in with the words.

  ‘… I never should, play with the gypsies in the wood.’

  She stopped suddenly. Outside, the rhyme continued without her.

  If I did, she would say…

  ‘I feel so stupid,’ he said. ‘Just sitting here. Nothing to say. Helpless.’

  She squeezed his hand. ‘No,’ she said. ‘You’re helping. Honestly.’

  ‘I wasn’t sure whether I should come.’

  Then she did something unexpected. She pulled him down to her and kissed him. A real deep kiss, pushing her tongue into his mouth, against his teeth, down his throat. He held her tight against him, felt her breasts soft against his chest, the beginnings of desire. Despite himself. Knowing that nothing could happen. Not with her daughter and mother in the house. Not while she was so screwed up. But singing inside, because in the end it would work out. All those dreams he’d had about her since meeting up with her again. Luke wouldn’t get in the way of that.

  He pushed her gently away from him, stroked her cheek, bent and kissed her hair at the parting, where he could see the darker roots. She was crying.

  ‘Oh God,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry.’

  He knew he shouldn’t feel like this. He should be sad because she was sad. ‘Nothing to be sorry about.’ He kept his voice serious, low. Low voices were sexy, weren’t they? ‘Do you want to talk about Luke? I mean, I never met him, but if you want someone to talk to…’ Behind her back he twisted his wrist so he could see his watch. He had to be back at the Sage for eight-thirty.

  ‘No,’ she said. ‘I’ve done nothing but talk about Luke for days. To the police, Mam, my mates. I wanted to forget about him. Just for a minute. I wanted to see if I could.’

  ‘Could you?’

  ‘Not really.’ She smiled. Not quite the old Julie smile. ‘But I enjoyed trying.’

  There was a noise at the door. He was expecting her mother again but it was Laura. She stood just inside the room, staring at them. Gary moved along the sofa so there was some distance between them.

  ‘Laura went to school today,’ Julie said, in a horrible, bright voice. ‘I thought that was dead brave. How was it, pet?’

  ‘All right. The teachers were nice. There was an assembly about it. About Luke and that. They said I didn’t have to go.’

  ‘Did you?’

  ‘Nah. But I waited outside and I could hear what they were saying. It was all crap. I mean, it wasn’t like they were talking about Luke at all. You wouldn’t have known it was him they were talking about.’

 
‘Nice, though, for them to remember him, to pay their respects.’

  Laura looked as if she was about to say something rude and dismissive, but she kept her mouth shut.

  ‘This is Gary,’ Julie said. ‘He’s an old friend. We were in the primary together.’

  It was as if Laura hadn’t heard. ‘Nan says tea’s nearly ready.’

  Gary stood up. ‘I should get off.’

  ‘Why don’t you stay?’ Julie said. ‘Have something to eat with us?’

  But he could tell she was back in coma mode. She was just going through the motions.

  ‘I’m working tonight,’ he said. ‘A gig at the Sage.’

  He started towards the door. He wondered if she’d rouse herself from the couch to see him out, but she seemed lost in thought again. It was Laura who opened the door to let him out. The kids stopped their game to stare and the women on the steps looked up from their magazines. He expected the girl to be intimidated by the attention. He found it difficult to handle himself. He wanted to shout at them: What do you think you’re looking at? He thought Laura would shut the door on him immediately and hurry inside. But she didn’t. She was still standing there while he got into the van and drove away.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Tuesday morning. Vera had called the team together for an early meeting. Charlie looked as if he’d slept at his desk; certainly he hadn’t shaved. Joe had Ready Brek down the front of his shirt. Only Holly seemed awake and alive. Looking at her, so fit and bonny, Vera felt a horrible, destructive envy. Even when she was young, she’d never looked like that. When she arrived they were all sitting round a table. Joe was talking about Clive Stringer.

  ‘What about him?’ she said, coming in at the tail end of the conversation.

  ‘If we’re looking for a nutter, he’s pretty weird.’

  Is he? Vera thought. She’d grown up with several odd young men like that. Loners, obsessives. Acolytes of her father.

  ‘I mean, he spends all day with his hand up a dead bird’s bum, no friends apart from the group at Fox Mill, no girlfriend.’