by Rhonda James
Stunned by his honesty, I stepped back and allowed his words to sink in. “Wow. I’m sorry. I guess I’d hoped you were different from all the other assholes I’ve dated. I really thought you were the one. Guess I was wrong. Good-bye, Gavin. It’s been…”
At a loss for words, I fiddled with the bracelet on my right wrist, remembering the night he’d given it to me while filming the show. It was nothing more than a cheap toy, but it wasn’t about what it was made of. It was more about what it had represented to both of us during that time. A much happier time. The memory of that night made me even angrier, and I tore at it with my fingers, breaking it in two before throwing the pieces at his feet.
He stared at the trinket and shook his head. Perhaps he’d remembered that night as well, but when his gaze met mine, I could tell he was pissed. His eyes narrowed before his mouth curved into the signature smirk he’d become famous for. “Why don’t you keep that as a souvenir of our little tryst? That way you can say you knew me when.”
That’s all I was granted by the rising rock star. No ‘Thanks for the fucks, Sophie. Btw, you were great in the sack. Maybe I’ll look you up next time I pass through town.’
This wasn’t the Gavin I fell in love with. This… this was someone else.
I forced a smile, refusing to allow him to see just how far he’d broken me. “No, thanks. The memory of you touching me will be painful enough. I’d prefer to forget we ever met.”
“Aw, baby. You know you loved it when I touched you. No man has ever made you scream like I did,” he answered with a jaunty wink before sauntering down the hall.
With my head held high, I walked out of the bar and screamed up at the star-filled sky, hating that I’d let him see me cry. That I ever allowed him into my heart. I climbed in the car and pulled up his contact on my phone. A photo of the two of us filled the screen, and I found myself smiling at the memory. I gave myself a moment to reminisce before I came to my senses and pressed DELETE.
I only wished I could erase him from my heart that easily.
CHAPTER 1
SOPHIE
“What’s going on? Why aren’t these cars moving?”
Looking out the cab’s windshield, I surveyed the line of traffic in front of us before sneaking a glance over my shoulder. Cars were backed up as far as the eye could see, and we appeared to be stuck smack dab in the middle of the chaos.
The driver’s gaze connected with mine in the rearview mirror. “Fellow cabbie just texted to say there’s a nasty accident on the corner of 8th and 42nd. Hope you didn’t have anything important to do. Looks as if we may be a while.” I followed his hand as he switched the meter off, my gaze landing on the clock on the dash.
No. No. No. This cannot be happening. Of all days, why today?
I was heading to an audition, and this was a big one. Probably the biggest I’d ever been at. The last three had ended in disappointment, especially since the last role should have gone to me. The part was made for me, and I would have played it perfectly, but instead the role had gone to my nemesis, Natalie Briscoe. Natalie and I had been competing for roles since freshman year in college. Everything from theater to commercials and voice overs. I couldn’t say I was shocked the director had given her the part.
Natalie and I had never seen eye to eye when it came to ethics in this business, and she wasn’t above spreading her legs for a role. But I’d made it a hard and fast rule to never be influenced by offers of that nature. If I landed a role, it would be based on my talent on the stage, not between the sheets. Ironic considering the work I was best known for had been my stint on Almost Famous. The only reason I’d agreed to go on that damn show had been to gain visibility, but I hadn’t been prepared for the negative impact it would have on my career.
I’d given New York four years. Four years of hard work. Determination. Disappointment. I’d been fortunate enough to land a few supporting roles, but I’d grown weary of going on auditions only to spend the next two weeks clutching my phone. Heart bursting out of my chest every time the phone rang. Waiting for a call that never seemed to come. Countless nights I’d woken up in a cold sweat, ready to walk away from it all. After all, I was Sophie Banks, girl voted most likely to achieve her dreams back in high school. If my classmates had believed in me—and I believed in me—why hadn’t anyone else?
“Just let me out here, and I’ll walk the rest of the way.” I tossed a wad of cash his way and opened the door.
“That’s eight city blocks, and it’s pouring rain,” he argued.
I peered up at the ominous sky before pointing to the folded newspaper on the passenger seat.
“May I?”
He cracked a smile while handing it over. “I never even had the chance to open it.”
“Thank you!” I responded before balancing the paper over my head and making a mad dash for the sidewalk.
I had about fifteen minutes to haul my cookies across town and sign in before the doors to the theater would close. This particular director was a stickler for keeping on schedule, and his email had specifically instructed us to be on time or miss out on the privilege of working with him.
Trudging along the sodden streets, I was thankful I’d worn sensible shoes. My heels had been stashed inside the backpack slung across my back. When the light changed, I dashed across the street. The rain picked up, and the paper I’d been using for a makeshift umbrella turned into a soggy mess. I tossed it in the nearest trashcan and continued down the street. Once perfect curls now clung to my cheeks in long, wet strands as I reached for the handle of the theater door, expecting to find it locked. To my surprise, it opened smoothly.
My head was turned as I squished my way down the center aisle until I reached an empty seat. I kept my head down and signed in, refusing to make eye contact while rummaging through my backpack for a hair tie.
“Here,” came a feminine voice behind me, and I turned to find her offering me a towel. I tentatively accepted and used it to blot my face, praying like hell she wouldn’t recognize me.
“Thank you,” I whispered, mindful of the performer on stage.
The girl leaned forward and lowered her voice another notch. “I hear this director is a hardass. Hope I’ve got what it takes to impress him.”
I smiled, not wanting to say anything to discourage her. I’d had enough of that done to me over the years, and it messed with my head before an audition. Besides, for all I knew, this girl did have what it takes. Only time would tell. For both of us.
“I’m sure you’ll knock ‘em dead.” I gave her an encouraging wink before running the towel over the ends of my hair, then pulling the soaked strands back into a wet ponytail.
One by one we were called on stage, and by the time my name was called, I was the last one seated. Each actor had been given a different scene to read from, and while he set the stage for my chosen scene, I scanned the single-paged script, absorbing as much as I possibly could before he gave the cue to start. This particular scene was more intense than some of the others I’d watched. It even included a kiss. My gaze darted to both sides of the stage, checking if there was a fellow actor who would be joining me, and finding no one. Silent alarms sounded in my brain when the director ascended the stairs and joined me on stage.
Don’t freak out, Sophie.
He pointed to me, and I immediately fell into character, giving him the performance of a lifetime. By the time I reached the climax—a scene where the couple was supposed to kiss—I was so deep in character I’d forgotten how the scene ended. The director’s arm circled my waist as his mouth descended upon mine. The kiss started out innocently enough, that is until his hand tangled in my hair and the tip of his tongue caressed my lips. Wedging a hand between us, I pressed with all my might, shoving him away.
“Stop!” I wiped the palm of my hand across my mouth and resisted the pressing urge to spit in his face. “Why did you do that? You were only supposed to kiss me, not rub yourself all over me.”
He stared at my c
hest, specifically my nipples, which were fully erect and on display through my still damp shirt. “I don’t see why you’re complaining. Seems as though you enjoyed it as much as I did.”
Disgusted, I stomped across the stage with a knot in my stomach. I’d only made it a few feet before I stopped and waved a hand over my chest. “FYI, I wasn’t turned on by your unsolicited attack. This is me freezing because I was caught in a torrential downpour and the air conditioning is on full blast!” I snatched my backpack off the chair, fuming. “You know, it’s too bad because I really wanted the opportunity to work with you.” I shook my head and began my walk up the aisle. Seconds later, his hand was on my elbow.
“Wait. Don’t run off.” I glared at the hand on my arm. He must have caught on because he let go and took a step back. “You really impressed me up there. It was the most challenging scene of the day, and you nailed it. I think you have what it takes to fill the lead role.”
This is it, my subconscious squealed as my inner diva did a little dance and shouted, I knew it! My heart pounded in my chest. The kiss was all but forgotten. Four years of hard work had finally paid off.
“Really? I have so many ideas of how I could approach this role.” I gestured with my hands, excited that things were finally happening. “I was thinking of dyeing my hair darker and working on my accent. You know? Fully embrace the life Madelyn was living.”
“I love your enthusiasm for this project.” He took a step closer and stared a little too long at my lips. “What do you say we grab dinner and go back to my place? We can run through your lines. Work on the next scene.”
The knot in my stomach twisted, and I croaked, “Your place? Does the next scene happen to involve a bed?”
“Not exactly. It was written as a couch scene, but if you’re up for it, we could switch to a bed. I’m dying to know if you’re just as passionate in the bedroom as you are up on stage.”
My heart sank because this role was mine for the taking. All I had to do was go along with his request. No big deal. Right? After all, if I’d learned anything in the last year, it was that love was fleeting and sex was merely a means to an end. Other actresses had done it, so I wouldn’t be the first. Not to mention this part would look great on my resume. It just went against everything I believed in...
Mistaking my hesitation, he leaned in and whispered words that made my blood boil. “You don’t have to pretend with me. I watched the show, and I have to say, I’m a big fan.” He ran the tip of his finger up my arm, giving me a chill, only I was no longer cold. “No one needs to know. It’ll be our little secret.”
“I’d know,” I whispered before turning and running for the door. The sound of the door slamming behind me felt like a sign. A sign that demanded my attention.
Maybe I needed a break from my life in New York. Time away to clear my head. Gain some perspective. Clearly, this wasn’t how I’d envisioned ‘making it big’ would look. I could go home to South Carolina. Or pay a surprise visit to Tori. Hell, maybe I needed a little of both.
CHAPTER 2
HAWK
It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been away. The feeling I get when I step through the door of my childhood home… Priceless.
Maybe it was the familiar smells. All the memories made. The fact my parents hadn’t rearranged the furniture since I was twelve. The sound of my sisters’ laughter. Maybe it was all the above.
“Guess who’s home,” I announced, rounding the corner to find Mom and my three sisters gathered around the table, eating homemade cinnamon rolls and laughing.
“Jared? What on earth? You didn’t tell me you were coming home.” Mom pushed her roll aside, intent on getting up, but my hand on her shoulder stopped her.
“Wanted to surprise you.” I brushed my lips across her cheek. “Hey, Mama.”
“Consider me surprised. Did you drive? Does this visit mean you won’t make it back for our anniversary next month?”
“No, it doesn’t mean that at all. I promised I’d be here for the party, and I meant it. I flew in. Figured it was time I gave Dad his spot back in the garage.”
Mom frowned at the mention of my returning to Panama City. “You just got here. Surely, you’re not planning to drive back right away.”
“No, not tonight. Thought I’d stick around a few days, if that’s okay?”
“Well, it ain’t long enough, but I’ve learned to take what I can get where my children are concerned.” Mama smiled and grabbed both my cheeks. Smooshing them together until my lips rivaled most selfie-taking teenagers. “This face. You have no idea how much I’ve missed this face.”
I waited for the feeling to return before responding, “Missed your face, too, Mama.”
“Wow. I can’t believe the rock star is gracing us with his presence,” my older sister, Rachel, teased in her best southern drawl. I opened my arms for a hug, and she happily obliged. This was no surprise. She’d been texting for weeks asking when I’d drag my sorry ass back home.
“Aww, Rach, can’t a guy just miss his family?” She cocked her head until my lips met her cheek.
“It’s just good to finally see you, baby brother. I’m also happy you came to your senses and got rid of that awful blond hair. It really wasn’t your color.”
I couldn’t help laughing when I thought about the look on her face when I’d shown up with platinum blond hair. “I already told you why I did that. The band members looked too similar. I wanted to stand out.”
“You do that just fine on your own.” She mussed my hair with her fingers. “Stick with this color. It suits your face better.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I gave her a wink before turning to my sister Shelby. Out of the four of us, Shelby and I had always been the closest, as she was just eleven months younger. Mom called us Irish twins, but I never let her forget who was the oldest.
“What’s shakin’, Shelbo?” I circled an arm around her neck and gave her a noogie before dropping a kiss on her forehead. When I let go, her normally straight hair stood on its end. Naturally, I burst out laughing and pointed to her hair. Yeah, I was totally that brother.
“Cut it out, asshat. Jeez, Wooby, I’m twenty-five, not seven. It’s time you started treating me like an adult.” She smacked my hand away and rolled her eyes, pretending to be hurt, but there was no mistaking the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. That smile told me she loved every second of it and hoped I’d never stop acting as if we were the inseparable, mischievous kids we used to be.
“Says the girl still calling me by the nickname she gave me when she was four.” I stuck out my tongue, and she mimicked me. “Besides, adulting is boring as fuck.”
“Language!” Mom scolded with a roll of her eyes.
“Sorry, Mama,” I apologized before giving my baby sister, Caroline, a kiss. “Hey, Caro. How’s school?”
“Good,” she replied around a mouthful of gooey cinnamon roll. In typical Caro fashion, her shirt was decorated with remnants of flour and frosting, and I recalled the mornings she’d spent baking for us while I’d been living at home. “I’ve doubled up on my classes, so I can graduate early.”
“Good for you. Let me know when graduation is, and I promise I’ll be the proudest big brother in the front row.” I reached over her head, hoping to steal the last bite of her roll, but she was onto me and shoved it in her mouth before I could reach it. I wriggled my brows and gave her a lop-sided smile. “Got one of those for a hungry rock star?”
Caroline was twenty-two and enrolled in the culinary program at The Art Institute of Charleston. She was an amazing baker and hoped to open her own bakery one day. As if that wasn’t enough, she loved taking care of me. Of all of us. She was the nurturer.
“Fresh out of the oven. You want coffee?” she asked over her shoulder. I nodded eagerly and tipped my chair back on two legs, hands behind my head. Relaxed and truly happy for the first time in weeks. Maybe months.
When I’d left PC this morning, it was because I’d need
ed an escape. Back there, girls slipped me their number all the time. They’d hang around after our set and even follow me home. And it wasn’t just girls. Guys would beg me to teach them how to play guitar to help them score with chicks. Back there, I was a guitar-playing god. And here? Here I was just Jared. Goofy brother who stopped at nothing to make his sisters laugh and would give his own life to keep them safe. My sisters had driven me crazy while we were growing up, but I still loved being the big brother they looked up to. Despite being two years older, even Rachel would come to me and bitch about her boyfriend while we were in high school. When I was fifteen and landed my ass in juvenile detention, my sisters were who I’d missed most. They were the reason I’d cleaned up my act and promised to never go back to a life of drugs and self-destruction. Eleven years later, I’d managed to keep that promise. The smiles on their faces when I’d walked in today were reason enough to keep that promise.
Life in Panama City had gotten intense, and some days all the attention gave me a big head. And not in a good way! When it got to be too much—when I needed to land my feet back on solid ground—I came home.
Mom had gotten it in her craw that she was going to make my favorite dinner of chicken ’n dumplings. So, she and Caroline headed off to the grocery store while Rachel ran home to pick up her kids from school before coming back here for dinner.
I was sitting poolside, absently watching an inflatable crocodile float in circles, when Shelby handed me a beer and collapsed into the next chaise.
“Thanks.” I tipped the bottle in her direction before bringing it to my lips. The beer was nice and cold and felt refreshing going down. August in South Carolina was hot as balls. Speaking of balls, mine were sweaty and hanging far too low for comfort. A dip in the pool sounded like a damn good idea.
“So, big brother, that whole ‘can’t a guy just miss his family’ bullshit may fool everyone else, but I know you. What’s going on, Wooby?” Shelby narrowed her green eyes that matched mine, challenging me to not be truthful.