13 (The LIST Series Book 2)

by Rhonda James

  Her words rang true when I thought about the look in his eyes just before we kissed. I met her gaze and found myself smiling. “Yeah, I really do. So much it scares me.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I’m not looking for a relationship,” I answered with a shake of my head.

  She reached across the table and clasped my hand in hers. “Sophie, you’ve been saying that for years. In fact, in all the years I’ve known you—and we both know how long that’s been—you’ve always been about casual relationships. I remember being in total shock when I heard the news about your relationship with Gavin.”

  “Yeah, and we both know how that worked out. Trusting someone with your heart is so freaking scary.”

  “True, but when given to the right person, it can totally change your life.”

  “How so?”

  “You’ll come alive again.”

  I thought about that. Thought about what that would look like. How that would feel. It was no secret that the last fourteen months had been hard for me. I knew Tori was right. A part of me had died while watching Gavin walk away. I told myself I’d never love again. I’d never let myself be that vulnerable again. Little by little I’d become a shell of my former self. It was time I broke free of those protective layers and allowed myself to taste life again.

  If Tori was right and Hawk was the life water I’d been missing, I didn’t just want a taste.

  I wanted to drown myself in him.

  CHAPTER 15

  SOPHIE

  Me: Where are you?

  Hawk: Miss me already?

  Me: Maybe. I haven’t seen you all day.

  Hawk: I had some stuff to do. I promise to be there soon.

  Me: Wait. Where are we going?

  Hawk: That’s a surprise.

  Me: I need to know how to dress. When you said sexy, is that dressy sexy or casual sexy?

  Hawk: There’s a difference?

  Oh, my gosh. Was he being serious right now? How was a girl supposed to know if she was dressing for a fancy dinner somewhere or a walk on the beach?

  Me: Jared! If you don’t help me, I won’t be able to choose, and I’ll be naked when you get here.

  Hawk: Hmm. Naked works for me but probably not for where we’re going. I’m not in the mood to spend my night fighting off other dudes.

  Me: Why does the thought of you fighting for me turn me on?

  Hawk: You’re killing me, Tiny. Casual sexy will work just fine.

  Me: See, that wasn’t so hard.

  Hawk: *eye roll*

  Me: Aww. Don’t be like that. *Kiss kiss*

  Hawk: *Tongue tongue*

  This conversation had suddenly taken a very dirty turn in my mind. I couldn’t stop picturing myself on my knees in front of him. This was going to be another long night.

  Me: Are you implying you want my tongue on you? ’Cause that can be arranged…

  Hawk: Sophie… go get dressed.

  I tossed my phone on the counter and went back to applying my makeup. I’d kept my hair down for tonight, so I decided to go for a pink and gray smoky eye, light on the eyeliner, heavy on the mascara. I checked the mirror. The effect made my eyes pop. A little blush and tinted lip gloss, and I was good to go. Figuring he’d be home any minute, I dashed to the closet and hurried to pick out an outfit before he came to my room.

  Black capris. White crochet front halter top, no bra. Gotta love having small boobs. Black wedge sandals.

  I stood back and admired myself in the mirror, loving the end result. If this didn’t grab his attention, I might have to try that whole naked thing.

  The doorbell chimed, pulling my attention from my reflection. I ignored it, figuring J.T. or Styx would answer it. It chimed again, and this time, I grabbed my phone and stuffed my ID and a credit card in my back pocket, just in case. By the time I reached the living room, I saw the guys sitting on the sofa, drinking beer and watching one of those shows about surviving in the wild.

  “Did you guys not hear the doorbell?”

  “We heard, but we were told not to answer it.”

  “What? Who on earth told you that?” I shook my head and reached for the door handle, pulling it open.

  Standing on the front porch, holding a single daisy, stood Hawk. Dimples on full display when he saw me.

  “You goofball, why are you ringing the bell when you live here?” I took the flower from his outstretched hand.

  He made a tsk tsk sound and smiled a lop-sided smile. “Stop complaining, woman. I’m wooing.”

  “Ah, in that case, woo away.”

  He stepped forward and wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me against him. “God, you’re beautiful.” He nuzzled my neck, planting a soft kiss against my pulse before lifting his lips to my ear. “That shirt is definitely the kind of sexy I was referring to.”

  My gaze dropped to the front of my shirt and then back to his. “Yeah?”

  “Oh, yeah,” he practically growled and then whispered, “Is it bad that you not wearing a bra turns me on?”

  Somehow, I managed not to blush as I pressed up on my toes and tugged his bottom lip between my teeth. “Not at all. I missed you today.”

  “Ditto.” He captured my lips in a soft kiss. A kiss that would have gone further if we hadn’t had an audience.

  “Dude, get a room,” Styx bellowed from his spot on the sofa.

  “No, dipshit. He has to take her out and treat her like a lady first,” J.T. retorted sarcastically.

  “Dude, feed your lady and then get a room. I don’t want to watch you having sex.”

  “I’m gonna kill him,” Hawk muttered and stepped over the threshold.

  “Hey,” I interjected, placing a hand on his chest in an attempt at soothing him. “Ignore them. Where are you taking me?” I asked while steering him away from the door. As we made our way down the sidewalk, he slipped his hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze.

  We reached the car, and he backed me up against the door. “You look really pretty tonight.”

  I tipped my head and took his measure. He wore a burgundy shirt, made from the softest cotton I’d ever had my hands on, and gray cargo pants. The color of his shirt really brought out the green in his eyes, and his wavy locks were still damp from the shower he must have taken before coming to get me.

  “That’s some excellent wooing,” I replied while my fingers grazed the scruff on his jaw. It was a good look for him. “You’re looking pretty spiffy there yourself, Sparky.”

  That earned me a laugh followed by another kiss after he finished opening the car door for me.

  “You wore that shirt just to mess with me, didn’t you?” His gaze dropped to my chest as his thumbs traced small circles on my lower back. It was a small gesture, but it felt very intimate.

  “I don’t know. Is it working?”

  “You tell me.” He lowered his chin, and both our gazes dropped to the obvious bulge between his legs.

  “I guess my job here is done.” I laughed and dropped into the passenger seat, closing the door between us. A second later, he was behind the wheel, and I snuck another glance before he looked my way and smiled.

  “I hope you’re hungry.”

  “Starving.” I licked my lips, hungry for more than just food.

  We ended up at an oyster bar located right on the water. We were seated outside on the deck with an amazing view of the ocean. I could hear the waves crashing against the shore and felt at ease instantly.

  “If you’re not a fan of oysters, I can always take you someplace else,” he offered. I didn’t miss the way his bottom lip jutted out when he said it, which led me to believe he loved coming here and wanted me to love it, too.

  I looked around and smiled, seeing the appeal. When I reached out and covered his hand with mine, he met my stare. “I wouldn’t dream of leaving. I love oysters.”

  “You know, some people say oysters are an aphrodisiac. Would you agree with that?”

  I picked up my menu and pretended
trying to decide what to order. I already knew I was getting the oysters Rockefeller.

  “I’m not sure. I haven’t eaten enough to test that theory,” I answered coyly. “Wait a second, is that why you brought me here? Were you secretly hoping I would stuff myself with oysters and try to ride you? It’s like the mechanical bull all over again.” I couldn’t help smiling at the fact I’d actually made him blush.

  “You did say you wanted another go at it.” He laughed and set his menu aside, threading his fingers with mine. “Should I be concerned that all you think about is getting in my pants? You’re not one of those girls who’s going to use me for my body and then cast me aside when you’re finished with me, are ya, Tiny?”

  I knew by the way he’d stated it he was only joking, but part of me wondered if that was an underlying fear he harbored. That would explain why he was trying to take things slow. Either that, or maybe he was just a really nice guy. It had been so long since I’d dated a genuinely nice guy that I’d almost forgotten they actually existed. Most of the people I came in contact with in New York were only looking out for one thing. Themselves. Finding a guy like Hawk in New York would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. They were there; you just had to keep digging until you found one. Staring at him across the table, I was thankful I didn’t have to keep digging. It seemed as though he was mine for the taking. All I had to do was hold out my hand.

  “That’s not all I think about. You do have a few redeeming qualities that hold my attention.” I batted my lashes in an attempt at being silly. “Besides, hurting you is the last thing I want to do, Hawk. You’ve been nothing short of amazing, and I hope you know how much I appreciate you.”

  “I believe I got a taste of that appreciation the other night,” he replied, throwing in a quick wink. “I’m honored you chose me to help you, but when it’s all said and done, I think I’m walking away with the prize while you’re getting the short end of the stick.”

  I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table, and whispered, “It didn’t feel like a short stick to me.”

  Hawk hid behind the menu, shaking his head. “You are so bad. Seems you don’t need oysters after all.”

  I giggled and touched the top of the menu, lowering it just until our eyes to met. “Make no mistake, there will be oysters eaten here tonight.”

  He reached across the table, grasped my hand again, and chuckled. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

  I smirked. “It’s part of my charm. Besides, I think you secretly love it.”

  He bit down on his bottom lip and nodded. “More than you know.”

  I leaned back in my chair and allowed his words to sink in. “Have you ever been in love?”

  “No,” he answered without hesitation.

  “Not even that girl Tori was telling me about? The one from back home?”

  “Nah, we both preferred keeping things simple.” He cleared his throat and fussed with his silverware. “At the time it worked for us, but after a while, you start to look around and see everyone around you getting their shit together and settling down.”

  Considering that Styx and J.T. were single, I assumed he was referring to Sin and Tori. I found it ironic we’d both felt threatened by our closest friends finding love and moving on with their lives while we felt stagnant and wondered when love would find us. Or if it ever would.

  “Do you hope to fall in love one day?” I wondered out loud.

  He traced my index finger with his and looked me in the eye. “Absolutely. I think it’s only natural to want those things. Think about it, who doesn’t like the idea of someone being so in love they’re lost without you? Or knowing that you need someone so completely they’re all you can think about? That kind of love is powerful and all consuming. It’s simultaneously dangerous and thrilling.”

  I swallowed hard, secretly wishing that one day, he’d feel that way about me. Judging by the way he was looking at me, it wasn’t that far of a stretch to imagine it happening.

  My response was interrupted by our waitress, who came to take our order. She was a striking brunette. Tall and leggy, maybe a little heavy handed on the makeup, but one look told me she was exactly the kind of girl Hawk probably went after. We were obviously on a date, but that didn’t stop her from blatantly flirting with him as if I wasn’t sitting a foot away, still holding his hand. The same thing used to occur back when Gavin and I were dating. Women would flirt, even going so far as to lay hands on him, and he wouldn’t stop them. He claimed ignoring them would have been rude. Looking back, I could see he’d been more worried about offending future fans than about holding on to the one woman who’d truly loved him.

  “Hey, aren’t you that guy from Chaos Rising? You play guitar, right?”

  Hawk nodded once. “That would be me.”

  “Oh, my gosh, I’m a huge fan. I first saw you guys perform at the Playground, and then I caught one of your shows in Atlanta last month. I have to say, you’re one of the best guitarists I’ve ever heard, and I follow a lot of bands,” she gushed breathlessly.

  I held my breath as the next few seconds unfolded, waiting for the response I’d grown accustomed to. What happened left no room for doubt that Hawk was nothing like Gavin, and it gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

  “Thank you very much. We appreciate the support of our fans.” He’d angled his head just enough to acknowledge her before bringing his gaze back to me and lacing our fingers together, showing her exactly where he wanted his attention to be. “I think we’re ready to order. Sweetie?”

  I was beaming with pride and hoped the smile I offered conveyed my appreciation for his gesture. It might have been subtle, but it spoke volumes.

  “Thanks, babe. Are you still good with the oysters?” The wink I shot him did not go unnoticed.

  “Give us two Rockefellers, and I’ll have the filet. Babe?” He rubbed his thumb reassuringly over the tips of my fingers.

  “I think I’ll also have the filet,” I replied, making sure to give the waitress my best ‘back off, he’s mine’ sneer.

  “I’ll put that right in,” she said before abruptly walking away.

  I turned back to him and scrunched up my nose, “I hope I didn’t just cost you a fan.”

  “Screw that. I just hope she doesn’t spit in your food.” His eyes danced with mischief as he said it.

  “No worries.” I raised the mug of beer to my mouth and took a swig, licking away the foam mustache it left behind. “I’ll just switch plates when you’re not looking.”

  Hawk grabbed the arm of my chair and gave it a yank. “Come here.” As soon as I was within range, he kissed me and pulled out his phone to snap a picture. “Almost forgot. We have to do a date night post.”

  “Date night post?” I licked my lips and went in for another kiss.

  “Yeah, I was scrolling through posts and saw this is what most couples do.” He pressed his lips to mine before snapping a picture, then, before I had a chance to catch my breath, brought his cheek to mine and snapped two more. “Might as well post a few. Don’t forget to tag me this time.”

  My eyes went wide in surprise. “You sure you want your name out there? Things could get crazy pretty quickly,” I told him, recalling the last time I’d dealt with the media. If the story was hot enough, they knew how to dig deep into your personal life. “You haven’t even told your family.”

  “Sophie, we’re in this together,” he said with a lingering kiss.

  A second later, my phone buzzed, and I downloaded the photos. I made the kissing picture my background before uploading them to Instagram and tagging Hawk.

  “It’s official.”

  He gave me a funny look. “I thought it was official after that first night?”

  “True, but now it’s officially official. From this point forward, we are married, at least as far as the public is concerned.”

  He draped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close enough to whisper in my ear. “Does this mean you’ll
start performing wifely duties?”

  A shiver ran down my spine, and I hoped he was talking about the kind of wifely duties I was ready to start performing. Starting with me on my knees, because I’d been dreaming about doing that all week long. I snuggled against him and ran a hand over his chest.

  “What kind of wifely duties were you thinking of? Because I have no problem going home and getting started right now.”

  “Thank God, because the sheets really could use a good washing, and the toilets probably haven’t been scrubbed in weeks.” He managed to keep a straight face for all of fifteen seconds until he saw the look of horror on my own face, and then he laughed so hard I actually pushed him away. “I swear to God, if you could have seen the look on your face, you’d know it was totally worth it.”

  “I hope so, Sparky, because that was just mean. And you can forget about the little scenario I saw playing out in my head.”

  “Darlin’, I think I have an idea what scenario you were thinking of, and I can promise you the word ‘little’ does not do it justice.” Then the son of a bitch sat back in his chair, took a drink of beer, and winked at me.

  There was no point arguing with him. He was right, and by the smirk he was wearing, he damn sure knew it.

  Smug bastard.

  CHAPTER 16

  SOPHIE

  “What are you drinking tonight? Wine? Beer? Or whiskey?” I asked, settling in at the table marked Reserved next to the stage at Devil’s Playground.

  Chaos Rising had just wrapped up a short tour, and tonight was their first time playing since their return. Three months ago, Tori sent me a copy of their EP, and I’d downloaded it on my phone. Their music was really good, and I was excited to see them perform.

  I was also looking forward to watching Hawk in action. Based on what Tori had told me and what that waitress had said, he was amazing on the guitar. A small part of me questioned my sanity. Questioned what I was doing sitting in another bar. Getting excited about another musician. But Hawk wasn’t anything like Gavin. He was honest and genuine and really seemed to care about helping me. The only person Gavin had seemed to care about helping had been himself.