13 (The LIST Series Book 2)

by Rhonda James

  “Totally, but if we’re going to do this, we need to do it right. Strip down to your underwear,” I ordered.

  I heard a rustle of clothing before she let out a breathy moan. “Done. Wait, what about my bra?”

  “Just take it off. I know how much you hate that thing.”

  “Oh, my gosh, I totally do.” She laughed, and I heard her settling on the bed. “What do you want me to do next?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We were just about to have phone sex, right?

  Holy. Fuck.

  I must have been half asleep because I had not seen that coming.

  This girl was a fucking dream come true.

  “Riiight. Phone sex,” I nodded, knowing damn well she couldn’t see me. She couldn’t see my dick either, but that didn’t stop it from standing at attention as if she were here on the bed with me.

  “What should I do next?” she repeated, sounding out of breath. I couldn’t say I blamed her. My heart was beating as if I’d just finished running a goddamn marathon.

  “Hawk?”

  “Slip your hand inside your panties and tell me what you feel,” I commanded.

  I could hear her shifting on the bed, and then all I heard were her soft moans. I wrapped a hand around my cock and pumped it a few times. Waiting. I would have sworn the earth stopped rotating when she whispered her response in my ear.

  “Wet.”

  CHAPTER 20

  SOPHIE

  I was on my way to meet Mitch for lunch when a reporter from TMZ accosted me on Rodeo Drive.

  “Sophie, we hear you auditioned for a role on CBS. Can you confirm that?”

  “No comment,” I answered with a smile and waited for the next question. There was always another question.

  “Gavin Rexroth is in town for a show tonight. Were you planning on attending, and will you be joining him backstage?”

  “Yes, I was aware of that, and no, I will not be attending. As for joining him, I haven’t seen or heard from Gavin in over a year, and I don’t plan on speaking with him either.”

  I started to walk away, but of course he followed, hot on my heels.

  “I’m also curious to know how married life is treating you? Did the fact that Jared Hawkins is a rocker play a role in your decision to marry him? Our sources claim you never got past your breakup with Gavin. Can you confirm?”

  His questions halted me in my tracks. I turned and smiled my best smile, hoping it was bright enough to hide what I was truly feeling.

  “Married life is ah-mazing. My husband is a kickass rocker, and I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t turn me on. As far as Gavin Rexroth is concerned… no comment.”

  I ducked inside the restaurant and made a beeline for the restroom, where I proceeded to lock myself in a stall. My body shook so badly I was afraid I’d start puking my guts out. I took a few cleansing breaths and did my best to calm down. One one thousand. Two one thousand. Three one thousand.

  God, I felt so stupid. What would Hawk say when he saw that? I’d probably made a fool of myself. Gavin was going to see that and think… I shouldn’t have said ‘No comment.’ I might as well have told the world I wasn’t over him, which was a bold-faced lie.

  Damage control. I needed to do some damage control.

  I needed Mitch.

  I cracked open the stall door, making sure I was alone in the room, and quickly checked my reflection in the mirror.

  “Sophie, darling, good to see you again.” Mitch stood and greeted me when I approached the table. We shared a brief hug before I took a seat across from where he was seated. “I took the liberty of ordering us a bottle of champagne.”

  “Isn’t it a little premature to be celebrating? I haven’t been offered the part.” I held the stem of my champagne flute while he filled my glass.

  “Yet. You haven’t been offered the role yet, but it’s only a matter of time. I have it on good authority that you nailed it,” he said with a knowing wink.

  My heart leaped in my chest. “Oh, my gosh! Did they say that? Were those their exact words?”

  “Let’s just say a little birdie told me you were the best they’ve seen thus far.” He raised his glass, and I found myself following suit. “To wedded bliss.”

  “You really believe that may be the only reason CBS is interested? What happens when they find out I’m not actually married?” I whisper hissed.

  “That’s not going to happen. Just continue posting those happy photos, and I’ll make sure your contract is iron clad. That’s why you pay me the big bucks, remember?”

  I responded with a very unladylike snort. “My father pays you the big bucks. I’m just a starving actress, remember?”

  “Not for much longer, dear. So, what’s up next for the happy couple? Any vacation plans? Those shots always get the paparazzi clamoring.”

  “Not exactly, but he did invite me to his parents’ anniversary party this weekend,” I offered, instantly hating myself for saying it.

  “Even better. Nothing says solid marriage like spending time with the family,” he replied a little too enthusiastically.

  I frowned, rattling off at least ten other ways in my own head, but I decided to keep them to myself.

  “When and where will this event be taking place? I’ll arrange to have a camera crew film it, maybe even schedule an interview for the two of you.” Mitch pulled out his phone and began typing at a rapid pace.

  “No way. I refuse to turn his parents’ special day into a media circus.”

  His fingers stopped moving, and he pierced me with an annoyed glare. “Sophie, this is something you’ve spent the last four years chasing. Your dad hired me to make you a star, and that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. You’re just going to have to trust me on this.”

  “I know you’re just doing your job, but I draw the line at this. He’s placed his trust in me, and I will not take advantage of him in that way. No matter the cost.” The look I shot him told him I meant business.

  “Fine,” he conceded, “but I’m setting up an interview. It can be a phone interview or whatever, I don’t care, but I think having the two of you together to answer questions will remove any doubts people may have about this thing being real.”

  Real. Why did that word sit on my stomach like a stone?

  “Speaking of interviews, TMZ cornered me on the way here. I think we need to do some damage control.” I filled him in on what was said, cringing when I heard my own words leaving my mouth for the second time.

  “We’ll let it play out, and our response will be this interview. I’ll make a few calls this afternoon and get back to you. Everything will work out, Sophie. You just need to keep your eye on the prize, and before you know it, you’ll be packing your bags for L.A.”

  “Sounds great,” I chimed, trying my best to sound enthusiastic about the idea.

  This is still what I want, right?

  Mitch and I went our separate ways after lunch. He left me with a parting wave and his phone attached to his ear while I called an Uber to take me to see the ocean.

  “You want me to wait?” the driver asked when he stopped in front of Hermosa Beach.

  “No, thanks, I may be a while.” I paid the fare and stepped out into the warmth of the afternoon sun.

  I slipped off my heels and made my way down the iconic pier. The concrete surface was hot on my feet, and the cool ocean breeze felt good on my heated flesh. The pier was crowded, and it reminded me of walking the streets of New York. In a way it helped me feel more at home. While I preferred the quiet of Hawk’s place, I’d grown used to the noise of traffic and the chatter of people on the busy streets. After a while, I’d been able to tune it out. I guess I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed it until this moment.

  I found myself a vacant spot at the end of the pier and dangled my arms over the railing, looking out over the ocean. I remained still, listening to the soothing sounds of waves crashing against the pillars and thinking about Hawk. I wondered what
he was doing. After our conversation last night, I hadn’t been able to get him off my mind. I still couldn’t believe we’d actually had phone sex. Hot phone sex. His voice had been what first attracted me to him, but when that same voice spoke dirty words in my ear, guiding me as I pleasured myself… Whew.

  Let’s just say it was impossible to stop thinking about it.

  What really had me curious was how he had helped bring me to orgasm on two separate occasions, but I had yet to return the favor. Each time I’d tried, he’d found a way to distract me. While I loved being on the receiving end of his attention, I longed for the day I could lavish the same attention on his chiseled body.

  I loved how Hawk was toned without being bulky. He had nice definition in his chest and arms, and the vein that ran down his bicep peeked out just enough and seemed to call my name every time he flexed his arms. Various colors of ink decorated his skin in a way that made his beautiful body a work of art. He had black bands that wrapped around each wrist and a mixture of images that covered most of his right arm and surrounded a large lion head adorning his shoulder. Painted across his ribcage was a flock of birds that appeared to be flying in different directions. Then, on his back, a series of black and green circles traveled the length of his spine.

  Thinking about it left me wanting to fly back to PC and kiss my way down his spine and settle between his legs for an hour or two. Longer if he’d let me.

  He was so beautiful and unlike any man I’d ever known. I could stare all day and still find something that fascinated me about him.

  Hawk: Hey.

  Me: That’s funny. I was just thinking of you.

  Hawk: I love hearing that. What time is your flight?

  Me: Not until seven. It’ll be late when I get home.

  Hawk: I’ll still come get you.

  Me: No. You stay in bed, and I’ll call an Uber.

  Hawk: Fine. Will you at least come into my room and let me know you’re home?

  I was smiling as I typed my reply.

  Me: I was planning on it.

  Hawk: I’ll save you a pillow.

  I opened the app and requested a pickup before pocketing my phone and making my way to the other end of the pier. By now, the crowd had started to thin. I knew I probably had just enough time to grab my things from the hotel and take off for the airport. L.A. was beautiful, but I couldn’t wait to get back to Panama City. My phone pinged with another text, and I reached for it, wondering what Hawk had to say now. My feet froze when I saw the familiar digits that had sent it.

  Married, Soph? Wow.

  My hands shook as I typed out my reply.

  Me: Hey, Gavin.

  Gavin: How’ve you been? This guy treating you right?

  Me: Wow, is that compassion I’m hearing?

  Gavin: Come on, don’t be that way.

  Me: I’m sorry, it’s just that we haven’t spoken in how long?

  Gavin: A long time. I know.

  Gavin: So? Is he?

  What was he up to, and what gave him the right to start caring suddenly?

  Me: You know—

  I started to give him a piece of my mind, but my heart just wasn’t in it. For the first time in a year, I didn’t care what he thought of me. I was happy, and it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with a beautiful, tattooed southern gentleman.

  Me: Yes, he’s amazing and attentive, and I could go on and on.

  Gavin: Please, don’t.

  Me: You asked.

  Gavin: You know, following my dreams didn’t make me a bad guy. We both wanted things. They just weren’t the same things.

  Me: I know.

  Gavin: Maybe you can find it in your heart to forgive me?

  The strangest thing was that I had forgiven him a long time ago. But forgiveness would never erase the pain I’d felt the first time I’d seen him with another woman. Or listened to him tell a reporter he’d never been in love. Those were things I’d never forget, but I hoped to one day soon.

  Me: My forgiveness is the last thing you should be worried about.

  Gavin: Take care of yourself, Blondie.

  The sight of his nickname for me caught me off guard, but I quickly brushed it away.

  Me: So long, Gavin.

  ____________________________

  It was early morning by the time I let myself into the house. I carried my suitcase up the stairs and headed straight for the shower to wash off the travel grime. After slipping on a tank and sleep shorts, I quietly entered his room and leaned against the door, watching as he slept. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been watching when he draped an arm over the side of the bed and beckoned me with a crook of his finger.

  “What are you doing all the way over there?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

  “Admiring you.”

  “You look cold. Get your butt over here, and I’ll warm you up.”

  I scrambled across the room and tucked myself against the warmth of his body. Oh, how I had missed this. He kissed me a few times and smiled a sleepy smile.

  “I’ve missed this.”

  “I’ve missed you,” he admitted. I loved how open he was with his feelings. He wasn’t afraid of putting himself out there. If he felt it, he blurted it out.

  I slipped my fingers between his and sighed. “My agent thinks there’s a strong chance I’ll be offered the role.”

  “I thought that was the whole point of all this,” he reminded me.

  “It was. I mean, it still is. Being in L.A. helped me realize how much I’m going to miss you when I’m gone. Whether L.A. or New York, we’ll still be apart.”

  God, I couldn’t believe I’d just admitted that. I might as well have handed him my beating heart and then given him the boots to stomp on it.

  He gave my hand a squeeze. “I get that, and I feel the same way, but that just proves we need to take advantage of the time we have left—however short it may be. Are you still okay with going away this weekend?”

  “I’m more than okay with it. Thank you again for inviting me.”

  He kissed me tenderly, tangling his legs with mine as we pulled each other close. His tongue teased the seam of my lips until I welcomed him inside. Bodies pressed together, lips seeking, tongues tasting. I allowed myself to get lost in his unspoken promise. One that told me he’d never hurt me. His kiss reminded me to stop trying to figure out our future and focus on the moment. Moments like these. The kiss ended, but we remained wrapped in each other’s arms. I trailed my fingertips through the soft patch of hair on his chest, knowing I needed to come clean about Gavin.

  “Something happened this afternoon that shook me up just a little.” I put some distance between us, enough that I could see his face. “Gavin reached out and asked about our marriage.”

  “The guy from the show?” I nodded. He closed his eyes and breathed out his nose. “You loved him, didn’t you?”

  Tears filled my eyes. “Yes.”

  A muscle in his cheek twitched. Once. Twice.

  “Are you still in love with him?”

  If he’d asked me that question three weeks ago, there would have been a good chance I might have admitted that I wasn’t sure. Not because it was fact but because I hadn’t known anything different. I’d spent years running, searching for some form of escape whenever life got to be too much. Our public breakup had sent me into one of the worst downward spirals I’d ever experienced. But then I’d met Hawk, and suddenly my world made sense again.

  “No.”

  He pressed his lips to my forehead. “Are you okay with that?”

  “Yeah, I think I am.”

  “I had to know because I care about you, Sophie, and I didn’t want to pressure you into something if you weren’t ready. You should know, I’m not usually the guy who turns down offers for sex. I’m a pretty good guy, but I’m not a fucking saint. When I met you, I could tell something was holding you back. I know you talk a big game, but I knew right away you weren’t looking for a roll in the hay. I think
we both walked into that bar looking for something more—and I think we both found it.”

  CHAPTER 21

  SOPHIE

  He hadn’t been kidding about his sisters.

  We’d arrived at his parents’ house two hours ago, and they hadn’t stopped grilling me. Don’t get me wrong, they were all very nice, but it was clear they loved their brother, and that made answering their questions that much harder because I didn’t want them thinking I was just out to use him. While I stood to gain from our arrangement, using him was the furthest thing from my mind.

  His sister Caroline was the most laid-back of the bunch. We talked a lot about her dream of opening her own bakery, and I told her about the adorable one I’d visited while in L.A. His mom and older sister, Rachel, had the typical questions. What plays had I performed in? How did I like living in New York? If I’d thought about a career outside of acting if this dream didn’t pan out. Shelby was like an attack dog. During the eight-hour drive, Hawk had shared with me how close he and Shelby had always been. By the sound of it, they were more like twins and had the same personality. The only difference was, Shelby had a sharp tongue and seemed to blurt out every snarky remark that popped in her head. Right away, I’d sensed she didn’t trust me, so I did my best to control my responses and hopefully quell any doubts she had about my intentions.

  “What was it like living in a house full of strangers while cameras monitored your every move?”

  “Well, the producers had organized a couple of meetups for the contestants before filming, so the day we moved in the house wasn’t actually the first time we all met. As far as the cameras went, you got used to them after the first day, and beyond that, you almost forgot they were positioned literally everywhere in the house. The only areas off limits were the bathrooms.”

  “Wait, I recall a few bathroom shots,” Rachel interjected.

  “The house was designed so that the shower and toilets were in separate areas beyond the main part of the bathroom. Those double doors you saw us standing in front of, those led to the shower room, and the one that looked like a closet door, there was totally a toilet hiding behind it.”