Finding My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  "Kitten!" Remy commands my attention. His hands on my hips are gripping and loosening.

  "Does this feel right?" He moves again and I moan quietly.

  "I have no idea." I answer honestly.

  "I'm going to move you Kitten...God...I need you to move. If you want me to stop just say so."

  He doesn't wait for me to say anything else. Remy tightens his grip with one hand, almost painfully, but I like that too. His other hand slides to my behind, just above where my leg meets my butt. He grips me there, pulling me further into him, using the hand on my hip to push me back. I moan louder this time, feeling his growl before I hear it. Remy moves me faster and I lose myself in the sensations. My head falls back, my mouth open in a silent plea for something, I don't know what. A minute-hour later I feel myself panting, feeling like I'm about to fall over the edge of something. Confused and a little scared by this feeling, I bring my eyes back to Remy's.

  The look on his face almost sends me over that mysterious edge. Remy's intent and blissful look transforms into understanding, he doesn't slow our movements though. "It's okay Kitten, just feel it. Feel me." With his last statement he pulls me down hard as he pushes himself up, causing me to cry out his name.

  "Good girl Kitten. Oh yes....My good... fucking girl." He rumbles out. His voice sends me crashing, or falling or friggin flying for all I know. My fingernails rake down his t-shirt covered chest, trying to hold onto to something, anything. I feel my hips still moving but I see nothing and everything at once. Suddenly I stop, at the same time hearing a drawn out growl from Remy.

  Releasing his tight hold on me, his hands slide up my back pulling me down to him, my chest to his. The lightning in my body quiets, leaving smaller spasms. My face ended up near Remy's neck and I inhale deeply. I should probably move, or ask questions or something but I but my body feels heavy, and I don't really want to do either. I might never move again.

  All too soon my lethargic state completely fades. Leaving me confused and scared and embarrassed all at once. With his hands making small circles on my back, under my shirt, I'm certain he feels my body stiffen.

  "Don't you dare feel bad about what just happened. You were beautiful Kitten." I relax some, I'm still not sure I can ever look at him again though.

  As if reading my mind he says. "Look at me Kitten." I shake my head, burying my face further into his neck.

  Remy smacks my butt. HARD. I gasp in shock. Sitting up straight instantly. He looks as smug as ever. "You cheated!" I accuse.

  That causes him to laugh. "At what?" Well...I have no idea. He definitely tricked me though. Since I don't have an answer I clamp my lips shut and glare at him instead. He just smiles.

  Bringing a hand up, his thick fingers caress the side of my face, making their way into my hair, smoothing it back. "Do you trust me?" He asks, voice low. I nod, chewing on my lip. "Good. I would never force you to do anything you didn't want to do. If you never want to do anything like this again, it changes nothing about your status in this house. Or with me. You understand?" He says firmly.

  I move my head yes. He raises an eyebrow. "I understand Rem." I whisper.

  "I didn't mean for this to happen. I woke up to you draped over me like the most beautiful blanket, I tried to move you but you clung to me. I felt your heat and nature took over. I still feel you..." He trails off, closing his eyes. "Are you okay?"

  "I think so, that was..." I don't know how to describe what happened so I don't try to. His fingers press against my lips and I kiss them on instinct. That makes him smile again. I like seeing him like this.

  "Alright, off you go." Remy says, placing me next to him on the bed in a kneeling position. He quickly pulls the blanket over his lap, putting an arm behind his head. "Sorry, if you didn't move soon I don't know if I could have stopped myself." From what? I tilt my head at him.

  "You are so adorable. You've never had that feeling before?" I shake my head. "I knew you were untouched, but not to what degree. What you felt is called an orgasm, sweet girl. Or climax, or, my favorite, cumming." He smirks. "It felt right didn't it? Like you should and you wanted to right?" I nod, smiling a little. "No regrets now that your mind has cleared?" I shake my head no. None what-so-ever.

  "Okay, but uh...was that... did we have...sex?" That was a lot harder to ask then it should have been. He looks like he's holding back laughter. Not cool, so not the moment to laugh at me.

  He manages to keep it in as he answers. "Not exactly, no. What we did pales in comparison to the real thing."

  "Whatever." I mumble under my breath. I can't believe he just insulted me after having the best feeling of my life. He's experienced though, probably has women lined up to do anything he dang well pleases. Women who know things, who are good at this stuff.

  "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Trust me, I enjoyed myself immensely. I wouldn't change a thing. Watching you fall apart at the seams was an exquisite site." I glance up at him, seeing he's sincere in his words.

  As I'm about to ask another question there's a knock on the door. I instantly panic. Oh my God! They're going to know! Jace will know. I just proved him right, didn't I? He'll hate me for sure now. Without my permission tears form and fall from my eyes. I cover my face and start to ugly cry with great, wracking sobs.

  Before Remy can get up to get the door, it flies open. I hear someone inhale deeply so I look up, hoping it's not Jace, here to gloat and call me a whore again. That thought makes me cry harder as I spot Ash, stopped a few feet from the bed. He looks angry, really freaking angry. He reaches out to me as he steps closer. I flinch, naturally scared of angry people.

  His eyes flare wide, lips forming a thin line. He snaps his head to Remy, who is ready to stand from the bed. "You're dead motherfucker!!!" Ash says pouncing on Remy.

  I let out a scream as the two massive men collide. Ash knocking Remington into one of the posters of the bed. I scramble off the other side, backing myself into a corner of the room. Remy grabs Ash's head with an arm, using his other one to block punches being thrown. Ash sweeps a leg out, robbing Remy of balance, who takes Ash with him to the floor. They roll around, both struggling to get the upper hand. Ash is landing blows to Remy's torso, making sickening crunching sounds. I think I'm in shock. I know I should run but I can't move. I can only sit and watch as two people I have come to care about hurt each other.

  I stare at my knees, counting out loud. Just trying to block out the noise and pretend it's not happening. Maybe denial is more my thing than I knew. Maybe I was in denial about me being in denial? No, that doesn't sound like me. SEE! Denial.

  I'm snapped out of my stupid train of thought to nowhere by Ash's booming voice. "What the FUCK is wrong with you! You hurt her?! My Little One!"

  "NO! Just stop for a fucking minute and I'll explain!" Remy says, while shoving Ash against a wall. Ash roars, and even though I've only seen it happen once, I know he's shifting.

  Remy steps away from the impressive black wolf now in front of him. "Don't do this Aeshlyn. You know where this leads, if I shift and you try to fight me..."

  Remy doesn't finish his statement as four half-dressed guys come crashing into the room. The door gets knocked back against the wall with enough force to break the mirror. The loud shattering sound causes me to scream again. All eyes snap to me. Movement stops. I stand shakily from my crouched position. A little braver now that back up is here. The huge wolf barks at me. The sound makes me jump, which just makes me mad now. I just collected myself and here he has me all anxious again. I feed on that bit of anger, letting it consume me. I'd rather be angry than crying in a corner.

  "Just stop it Ash!" I yell at him. "Why the hell are you so angry anyway?" I stare him down, waiting for his answer before I mentally slap myself on the forehead, wolves don't talk you idiot. "Change back dang it."

  "Yeah dude, we need to talk this out and we can't do that with you like that." Tristan says in calming voice. All the anger I've mustered up seeps out of me as soon as he speaks. I
don't know how he does it and I'm not sure if I love him for it or want to poke him in the eye. Either way I make a mad dash to him like the total girl I am. I'd roll my eyes at myself later, right now I want to feel safe again.

  I instantly feel at home as Tristan takes me in his arms, his lips going to my head in a soft kiss. Peace fills me as I press my whole body into him. I wish he'd speak again so I could lose myself in his magical calmness. He could read a phone book for all I care. Do they still make those? Or do they just post it online?

  I sense a presence behind me so I turn my head and look. It's Kellan, his deep green eyes telling me everything will be okay without a word. No one has spoken yet and I wonder if Ash has finished turning. As much as I'd love to hide behind Tristan and Kellan I know I can't. This is about me. I inhale one last breath of Tristan's citrus-like scent and let go of him.

  Stepping around Kellan's impossibly tall frame I see Ash, the man, pulling a shirt over his head, already having put on pants. "Talk to me Ash, why did you attack Remy?"

  Ash looks at me with disbelief coloring his face. "Are you serious? I knock on the door to wake Remy up and hear you crying. I thought something was wrong! I see you there" he points to the bed "sobbing your little heart out. This whole room smells like your sex and his scent is all over you. Did he hurt you Kitten?" He asks, looking for the world like he wants me to say yes so he can tear Remy apart.

  "He didn't hurt me Ash. I promise. Remy didn't do anything I didn't want him to." I look to Remington, pleading with him to tell them what we did later. After I'm gone. He nods his head once, message received.

  Ash deflates a little, still not looking satisfied. "Then why were you upset?"

  Dang it! I didn't want to answer that. I have to though if I don't want them fighting. "Because when I heard the knock on the door I thought it was him." I say, pointing to Jace.

  Ash turns his glare to Jace. I roll my eyes. "No Ash, not like that. It's just, after what he said yesterday and then I..." my voice trails off in a whisper.

  "It's alright Kitten, the rest of us need to have a discussion. Logan, you take her to Tristan's room, get her dressed and ready for the day. Kitten, we'll handle things from here, okay?" Kellan says, sounding more commanding than ever. His whole body is rigid, fists clenched at his sides. When his grassy eyes find mine, he forces a smile. "Go on, I'll find you later."

  Logan takes my hand, leading me away from the rest of them.

  I sit on the corner of the bed as Logan searches through the clothes he bought for me. I feel like absolute crap. I made them fight. Friends who have been with each other for who knows how long. I didn't want to bring them down but I think that's exactly what I'm doing.

  "Go ahead and jump in the shower, I'll be out here." Logan says. It's the first thing he's said to me all morning, I wonder if he's mad at me too.

  I climb in the shower, turning the water to scolding. Bowing my head I let the water wash over me. I wish it could wash the guilt out of me but no, water can't do that. I use Tristan's body wash, lathering it up hoping the reminder of him will lift my spirits. I know he somewhat smells like the soap but it's not the same. Tristan's underlying natural scent is what draws me. After washing my hair I decide that I need to get out. My fingers are pruning and I'm feeling a bit water logged.

  Logan has set a pile of clothes on the sink for me. I dress mechanically in a pair of light colored jeans, a pink tee and converse sneakers. I open the door and take a seat on the closed toilet lid. I'm sure that's where he'll want me anyway. He walks in, taking a long look at me and shakes his head. I look down, staring at the tiled floor. Logan brushes my hair but it doesn't feel the same. As soon as he's done I hop up on the sink without being asked. I hear Logan sigh as he gets a hairdryer out. Once every last strand is dry and placed like he wants it, he puts the dryer away and stalks from the room. I feel sharp pain in my chest as the door to the bedroom slams shut. I'm pretty sure my heart just shattered into a million pieces.

  Chapter 11

  Logan

  My feet can't move fast enough. I've been listening in on the meeting and I'm ready to say my piece. My fucking brothers have been arguing for over an hour, getting no-fucking-where. I'm done with this. I step into the game room where they've gathered and take in the scene. Remy is standing, as usual, while the rest are seated. Nope, not this time, I think to myself.

  I snap my fingers at Remington. "No way dude, take a seat." He looks at me like I'm crazy, which maybe I am, they've made me be crazy though. Remy finds a seat anyway.

  "Alright, listen the fuck up, I'm only going to say this once because I need to get back. I could give a shit less what any of your personal opinions are. The fact is, there's a girl upstairs that feels confused, guilty, and flat out fucking depressed. She looks to us for social cues and you are all fucking it up royally. Jace...” I seek him out, pointing my finger in his face. "...You need to fix shit with her, now! That poor girl will probably have issues with intimacy for rest of her life because of you and that fucker Adam, calling her a whore before she even had her first orgasm. That's fucking low dude, no matter your reasons."

  I back from Jace before he can respond, he looks hurt but I don't care. He had no right to mess with her like that, trying to run her off when he knew damn well the rest of us love having her with us. I find Ash next, I stand in front of him but don't point at him. He hates that shit and let's face it, Ash is one scary motherfucker when he wants to be.

  "You need to control your rage around her man, violence scares her, don't forget for even a moment how you found her. A tiny little thing like that, alone, without protection for sixteen years? Yeah, I'm sure she's seen some shit and been through things none of us can imagine. If you want her around, you better reign it in. If you were worried about her you should have taken her from the room and ASKED her what was wrong." Ash simply nods his head. That's good enough for me.

  Lastly, I look to Remy, I've never yelled at him the entire time I've known him, I've never had to. Remy is the epitome of control and has the patience of a saint. Until now it seems. "I agree with what Kellan said earlier man, way too fucking soon. I get that she's hot as hell and sweet and could make the pope beg for five minutes alone with her, I do, trust me. But she just got here. She doesn't know us, not really. She's still healing from some asshole trying to rape her! Let her settle in before we make her think Jace was right. Which she already does by the way."

  I shake my head. Watching Kitten earlier, moving around like a toy robot...it sucks. I want her happy and carefree like she was when we played tag. I'm sure she has no idea how beautiful she is when she smiles. Or how amazing she smells. God that girl drives me nuts. These fuckers are taking away the light from inside her, making her question everything she does. It's not right, it stops here and now.

  Kellan

  I don't think I've seen Logan this upset before. I knew he was getting close to Kitten, those two had an almost instant connection. If I didn't know any better I'd say he's already fallen for her, or in the process of it. Logan is usually cold as stone around females. He only associates with them when the need for sex gets overwhelming, even then he has to consume copious amounts of alcohol and takes a random barfly home for a one night stand.

  I'm glad when he agrees with me about Remy moving too fast. Psychologically speaking, I don't think Kitten is ready to experience sexual acts. I know my brothers are feeling the need to claim her, and fast, but none of us know what we're doing here. We'll run her off if we push too hard, I just know it.

  "I know I made my point earlier about slowing things down, but do we even know what we're doing with this girl? I mean, who is going to claim her? We all can't have her." I point out.

  I regret it immediately though. Several growls sound around the room, I don't want there to be a fight over her, we need each other and I'd hate to see us split over this. I can admit though, at least to myself, that if there WAS a fight to have her, I'd be in it. I want her too.

  Fin
n

  My brother has a point. We can't all have Kitten. My heart drops to my stomach at the realization. If she was forced to choose I'm sure it wouldn't be me. Remington and Ash are the strongest of us, the most dominant. She already clings to Tristan and Logan like life preservers in a storm. I doubt she'd choose Jace, so there's that I suppose. I haven't seen her with my brother or Reed much, so who knows about them.

  I was ecstatic when Remy said I was to tutor Kitten. That means I'd have loads of alone with her and I could show her that others might have the brawn but I have the brains. Some girls are attracted to intelligence, I was hoping she was one of them. I sigh inwardly, even if I managed to get her, how could I expect to keep her with my twin and brothers around?

  Reed

  This whole morning has been wicked crazy. I figured one of the guys would put the moves on Kitten eventually but I thought we were bringing her into the group as one of us? Sure, I kissed her, but that was just to make sure she'd never forget me. A girl always remembers her first kiss after all. Now there's talk of mating with her, and Rem apparently did something with her that was like sex, but not. That's funny since we're talking about Remy, the ultimate Dom and all his crazy sex shit. Ash should just be happy that he stopped at whatever he did.