Finding My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  As I walk back to Ash, ready to go now, I notice a dead body. I try not to throw up at the sight of his misshapen head. I set the package down and hurry over to him. It, I tell myself, it, the man it was is gone now. I check his coat, finding more papers. In the shirt they go. I check the pockets of his pants, finding a wallet and a set of keys. There's a portable phone too, and I almost leave it, but decide to take it too. Finn knows things I don't and I don't know if any of this stuff will be useful, but it could be.

  I pick up the package, and run back to Ash. I climb on his back again and hug him tightly, squishing the package between us as he runs. When we get to a spot between two houses, Ash barks at me, standing in front of shredded clothing that I recognize as his. I go to search it and he barks again. I look at him, not knowing what he wants. He uses his nose to push the fabric at me. I bundle it all up and take it with us. No more barking, so I guess I did what he wanted.

  Ash slows down, watching an intersection and sniffs the air. He whines, making my panic want to burst to the surface. Later, I tell myself, later I will break down, just not now. He seems to come to some decision as he takes off at full speed, crossing a street to a wooded area. I grip him tighter, the mud making me slippery. I don't know where we're going or where the others are, but I have Ash. He killed for me, he protected me. He came back for me. As long as I have him, everything will be okay, he'll get us back to the others.

  .........

  Ash

  This has to be the most uncomfortable run of my life. Not that it matters. Kitten's weight is nothing. It's the stuff she jammed down her shirt poking me in the back with every move that's killing me. That and her hands pulling at my coat. I'm fine with that though, as long as she holds on until I can get her home. I have to stick to the woods, adding another eight miles on. We'll be lucky if no one in that neighborhood saw us and reports it, no way can I take the roads with Kitten clinging onto me. A wolf might be a little out of place, but a girl riding one would do more than raise a few eyebrows.

  I can't believe we even have to do this. I can't believe we were left behind. Something really fucking bad must have happened for Remington to leave behind his best friend and the girl he loves. That thought doesn't make me feel any better though. This is the most bat-shit-crazy night of my life. I can't even process what the fuck happened tonight. I shake my head and push myself to run faster. I need to get to my brothers and I need to get Kitten to safety.

  Chapter 27

  Remy

  Just as I turn the ignition in Finn's truck, I see the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. A huge black wolf with a long haired girl clinging to it. I step out of the truck, shouting. "THEY'RE HERE!" With our wolf hearing, I know everyone in the damn house heard me. Logan and Reed get out of the truck as well, Finn and Jace bursting through the front door, proving me right.

  Ash stops right in front of us, dropping to the ground. I go to help Kitten up, but she flinches away, standing on her own, although shakily. She walks stiffly to the house, not saying a word, not even looking at us. When she gets just beyond the doorway, she drops a heavy, black square to the ground. Then she untucks her bulging shirt and shakes out all kinds of things. With her back to us, she whispers. "Finn." And points at the ground, before walking away.

  Before I can even think about following her, I'm tackled from behind. A blow lands on my ear that hurts like a motherfucker. Only one person I know can hit that hard. I push myself up, flipping over. Another punch hits my jaw, the same fucking spot as earlier tonight. I reign in my wolf that's begging me to be let out. I'm not going to fight Ash, not now.

  It takes all of them but they finally manage to restrain Ash enough that he quits fighting back. "YOU! You fucking left us there! What the fuck Remy? How could you do that!" He shouts.

  "Logan was hurt, he took priority when we couldn't find you. The way things worked out, we all had to go. We were coming back for you." I explain, even to my own ears, it doesn't sound like enough.

  "The way things worked out! The way things worked out Remy was you all left me to defend Kitten alone! And with four of them after us!" He stumbles back, obviously tired.

  "Come on Ash, let's get you to Kellan, we'll sort this out later." Reed tells him, tugging him to the door.

  I know Ash is pissed at me and Logan is injured. Hell, Kitten looked pretty broken as well. But we all made it back. We're all here now. We have a ton of shit to do. Things to figure out. But my family is whole in this moment and I'm grateful for it.

  Reed

  I managed to get Ash settled down enough to walk in the house, and to Kellan. It looked like he got a nasty cut on one of his arms. Kellan got it cleaned out but didn't bother to stitch it up, it'll heal overnight if he rests it. Logan was passed out on one of the cots. His injury was a bit more serious, but he'll make it. That asshole punctured one of his lungs. I'm happy he was given something to knock him out for a while.

  Once I'm sure Ash is under control, I seek out Kitten. She didn't look so good when she came in. I don't blame her. She just recently learned that we exist and then finds out some other wolves might be after her, then tonight she witnesses an attack. I shake my head. Kitten has been through enough already, she doesn't need this.

  When I enter Tristan's room I'm greeted by the sight of several of my brothers. They have expressions of worry and anger as they sit about the room. The door to the bathroom is open and steam is pouring out of it. I know it's Kitten in there, but why is the door open? Tristan is standing at the door way, staring inside, looking for the world like someone stole his favorite toy. I walk to him and lean around, peeking inside.

  Kitten is on her knees in the shower, fully clothed still. The hot water is streaming down, hitting the top of her head, making her hair fall in her face like a curtain. The bare skin of her arms are a bright shade of pink, no doubt the result of the too hot water. Seeing Kitten like this is breaking my heart. She's so strong, but right now she looks helpless and lost. I watch her for a few minutes, waiting for her to come out of it, but I can't take this any longer.

  "Come help me Tris." I tap my shoulder into his as I move past him. I cross straight to the shower, reaching in and adjusting the temperature of the water. I step back and start to undress, looking to Tristan, telling him with my eyes that he should do the same. I leave my boxers on and so does he.

  I stand in front of Kitten, blocking the spray from hitting her any longer, and she still doesn't look up. I gesture with my hand for Tristan to move behind her. When he does, I reach down and lift her stiff body, getting her to her feet. She's completely unresponsive. I don't allow my despair for her to show on face. Kitten is weak right now and it's my turn to be the strong one.

  I turn her and place her in Tristan's arms. He gives me a questioning look but I don't bother to explain, it'll be clear in a moment. I pick up the bottle of shampoo she uses and squirt some into my palm, rubbing them together. I know she came in here to get clean and I'm going to help her with that. I massage the shampoo into her scalp slowly, moving my fingers in slow circles. I take my time, making sure I get every inch of her head. I work my way down to the ends of her extremely long hair. When I'm done, I nudge Tristan forward, into the spray. I run my fingers through her hair, making sure it all gets out. The water running to the drain is still brown from the mud so I do it all again before moving on to conditioner.

  Once Kitten's hair is back to its lustrous platinum blond color, I indicate to Tristan to have her stand on her own. I'm unsure about this next part, but worst case scenario, she gets mad at me. She'd have to break out of her spell for that to happen, so either way I feel this is the right move. I take a deep breath before I pull at the hem of her shirt, lifting it up. Kitten doesn't protest, she doesn't even look at me. Tristan lifts her arms up gently, helping me pull the fabric free. Kitten sways a bit so Tristan takes her back in his arms, her back to his chest. I pick up the washcloth and squeeze out some body wash.

  I start with her hand, scrubb
ing between each tiny finger, up her wrist and forearm, her elbow, her bicep, until I get to her shoulder. I wring the rag out and do her other arm. I leave her bra on, scrubbing her neck and collarbones before moving the rag under the fabric, being as clinical as I can when touching an intimate area of the woman I'm in love with. But now is not the time to take pleasure, I just want to take care of her. I scrub the mud off her ribs and stomach before Tristan turns her so I can do her back. He lifts her hair out of the way for me and I see an old scar. It runs from one shoulder blade to the other in a straight line. It's faint, but I can make it out. Kitten flinches when I run the rag over it, soaping up her skin.

  I hold my breath and turn my head to the side while I peel her out of her leggings. Tristan has to lift each of her legs for me, as Kitten still hasn't responded to us. It looks like the mud from her upper body has ran to her underwear, soiling them. I leave them for now, starting at her hips, working my way down her thighs and calves, to her tiny feet and toes. I whisper to Jace to bring me a towel, knowing he will hear me. He opens the shower door and holds it out, his eyes meeting with Tristan's. He doesn't want to disrespect her either it seems. He steps back and leans against the sink. I wrap the towel around Kitten's hips before reaching under and pulling her panties away, tossing them to the side. I rinse out the rag and stand, getting more soap. I reach my hand under the towel rubbing it back and forth a few times, wishing Kellan were doing this part. I've never cleaned a girl there before. Well, not when I was actually trying to clean her. I move on to her backside quickly, not letting my mind go there right now.

  When Kitten is thoroughly cleaned and rinsed, I take her from Tristan and lead her from the shower. Jace wraps her hair in a towel as Tristan takes another one and dries her body. Remington whispers from the bedroom that he has clothes for her, so I pick her up and carry her to the bed. I stand her in front of it as Tristan slips new underwear up her legs, then a pair of loose yoga pants. I remove her bra quickly as Remy pulls a red shirt over her head and helps me put her arms through. Tristan puts a pair of footie socks on her feet once I sit her down on the end of the bed, and Jace takes up a spot behind her, drying her hair with the towel and brushing it out as I go talk to Remy in the corner of the room.

  "Do we put her to bed like this? Is it shock?" He asks me. Which is so out of place, that at first, I don't know how to respond.

  "Kellan's the doctor, but yeah, I'd say she's in shock. She was just mostly naked in a shower with two men and didn't blink an eye." I say, exasperated. Not at him, just at the whole situation.

  Remington runs a hand down his face. "I have to go make things right with Ash, check in with Kellan and Logan as well. Can you handle things here?" I can tell that this night is wearing on him too. I see the guilt in his eyes and it shouldn't be there.

  "Sure thing Rem, I know what she needs." I say. He nods and turns to go. I grab his arm. "And Remy, you gotta let this guilt shit go. There was no 'right' call to make. You didn't know what was going on with Ash and Kitten, but you trusted that he would look out for her. He did, he got her back here. What you did know was that Logan was hurt and he needed Kellan, and you had an unsecured prisoner. Like I said...there wasn't a 'right' call, but you did what you could with the information you had." He nods his head again and leaves the room.

  I hope at least some of my words got through to Remy, but for now, I have to concentrate on fixing Kitten. Jace has finished brushing her hair and now they both look lost. I guess they do better when they have a task. I know the feeling. I whisper to Tristan to get dressed and meet the three of us in my studio. He walks to his closet as Jace picks Kitten up in his arms like she's made of glass. We arrive at the door next to my bedroom and I flip the light on and gesture for him to take her inside. I head to my room to get some dry clothes on.

  ..................

  Jace

  I carry my girl into Reed's studio and sit against the wall with her still in my arms. I don't know why we're here right now, but I don't care. Tonight has been one crazy thing after another. Today started out so perfectly, just like Logan and I had planned. He wanted to give her a birthday and I agreed that she needed one. Things went better than I ever expected. She had fun today and felt special, I know she did. The little thing had worn herself out at her party, which was fine by me, I didn't want her discovering her real gift if she decided to go exploring tonight.

  Right now, I would rather her find her gift than be like she is now. After sitting behind the wheel and watching as one of my brothers was stabbed and another had to kill a man, I didn't think it could get worse. When I heard that we had to leave Kitten and Ash behind, I was devastated. I understood the reason but....it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I drove as fast as I could make the box-like SUV go, hoping to get Logan to Kellan quickly and go back for them before something bad happened. Ash must have ran his ass off to get her as quick as he did. It makes me wonder, if we had stayed just a bit longer....

  No. It doesn't matter. It already happened and there's no changing it now. Obviously something bad DID happen though. Or else Kitten wouldn't be in the catatonic state she's in now. I run my fingers through her gorgeous hair as Reed comes back in just a pair of jeans. He walks to one of his easels and sets the canvas aside, putting a blank one up. What is he doing? Now really isn't the time for this. He grabs tubes of paint, paintbrushes and countless other things, placing them around the easel. He also gets his sketchbook and a pencil.

  "Bring her over here, in front of me." he tells me. I'll never understand his artistic strangeness, but it couldn't possibly hurt at this point. I don't know what to do to bring the girl I'm falling for back to me. What's in my arms is just a shell of that girl. I place her on her knees, slumped over, where Reed indicated. He waves me back and we both take a seat against the wall by the door, on the floor. I shoot him a questioning look, but he just rests his head against the wall.

  "Now we wait." He whispers. I thump my head back as well. Yeah....now we wait. I just don't know what for.

  ................

  Kitten

  I know I should be uncomfortable right now. Sitting here on my knees awkwardly. But I don't. I don't feel anything. I'm aware of my surroundings, yes. I'm sitting in a room with art supplies spilled around me, staring at a blank thing you paint on. I'm aware, I just don't feel anything about it. I didn't feel the water in the shower, even though I know it should have hurt it was so hot. I didn't feel anything when Tristan and Reed came in there with me. Nothing as they washed and dressed me. Nothing. All I see are the dead bodies from earlier tonight, taking turns flashing in my mind. The one in the hole, the one by the car, the one where Ash's clothes were, the two that were laying near the intersection that I didn't even realize I had seen. My stupid photographic memory won't let me forget every single detail about tonight. But I don't feel anything about that either.

  A pencil is placed in my hand, someone pushing my fingers around it. I know if I would shift my eyes, I'd find Reed. But I don't. He and Jace are here, but I don't care, I don't care about anything. A sketch book is placed on my lap, open to a new page. I stare at it. I don't know for how long, but it doesn't matter. Time doesn't matter anymore. The longer I look at it though, the more I decide I hate it. I resent it. I can't stand to look at it. It's staring back at me, all pure and white and clean. Images of gore and death and mud fill my mind as this piece of paper mocks me from below. How dare this stupid paper do this to me! How dare it have a blank slate while my head is filled with too much! Too much hurt, too much pain, too much sadness and worry and anger! Anger....yes, I like anger. I'll show that condescending paper.

  .......................

  Ash

  Remington came back to Kellan's office and spoke to me. At first I had wanted to hurt him again, but Kellan stopped me, telling me that Logan would wake up if we made too much noise. I didn't want him to be in more pain than he already was, so I had sat and listened. He apologized, saying that he trusted me
with Kitten and he believed I could protect her. That he didn't know about the extra guys waiting. That he got word that all four known assailants were taken care of and he was coming right back for us. That he needed to get Logan help and he took priority at that point. After hearing him out, I don't know if I would have made a different choice. Tonight has been one big clusterfuck and I don't really want to stay pissed at my best friend. We need each other, and Kitten needs all of us together if we're to protect her from whoever sent those fucks.

  I've been standing here for about an hour now. Watching as Kitten sits like a lifeless doll in the middle of a mess. I had time to get bandaged up, talk to Rem, shower and change before I came here. I'm told that she's been this way ever since she came in. She saw a lot tonight, but I don't know if that's what's wrong with her or not. She handled herself well before. I had stopped and got AJ for her, but I'll wait until she comes out of this to give him to her. I kind of need him right now. I need him as a piece of Kitten in case she never comes back to us.