by Lisa Edward
“You smell awesome,” he whispered as he nuzzled my neck.
Looking up at his face, I grinned. “I used your bath oil and soaps. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. I bought them for you.”
My heart fluttered. He was always doing little thoughtful things like that for me. I just wished Kelli could see the good in him, the way I did.
We took our hot drinks over to the couch and cuddled up as we drank. As soon as I was wrapped in Cole’s arms and relaxed, I could feel myself growing tired.
He adjusted his position so he was laying along the wide couch, then lifted his arm and patted his chest. It was an action I had seen him do countless times, when he had been comforting me in the past over Riley. He had spent many nights laying on top of my bed, fully-clothed with his arm around me, while I was under the covers, crying.
But this was a little different. I didn’t need comforting, and we were both only half-dressed at best, with no covers between us.
As soon as I lay down beside him, and rested my head on his shoulder and hand against his chest, I could tell he felt the difference, too. His heartbeat was increasing under my hand, and he pulled me in tighter against him, sighing softly.
I draped my top leg over one of his, so it lay between his legs. His hand started stroking my hair as his other hand held mine against his chest.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered against my hair.
“Me too,” I whispered. I closed my eyes, and listened to his breathing.
He left my hand on his chest, and started lightly tickling up and down my arm. I could feel him rubbing his cheek against my hair as he sighed. “Is this okay? Should we be doing this?”
From the growing ache that was running through me, the short answer was probably, no. But, if you thought about it logically, it was like standing up hugging, which was okay, right? It was just the same, really. Except of course, it was night, and we were in our underwear, laying down. But it was just a hug, I told myself, so it was fine.
There was a muffled door slam from downstairs, and Cole jumped.
I laughed. “Why are you so jumpy?”
“I keep waiting for bulldog Kelli to come bursting in. You know she’s watching me.” He said it with a smile in his voice, but he also sounded a bit worried.
I laughed again. “She’s watching me, too. Made me promise not to make any midnight visits to your room.”
As soon as I said it, I wanted to take it back. He didn’t need to know that I’d had that conversation with Kelli.
“Was there ever a chance you would visit me in my room?” He was looking at me with eyebrow raised, waiting for my answer.
I shrugged. “I guess we’ll never know, will we?”
“Humph.” He gazed off into space, mulling over the possibility. I don’t think it had ever occurred to him. “She made me promise, too. Said she’d move out and take you with her, if I didn’t swear on a stack of bibles to behave myself.” He started tickling my arm again. “She’d probably do it now, if she saw us here like this,” he said almost to himself.
“Kelli won’t wake up. Once she’s asleep, you could send a marching band into her room and she wouldn’t stir.”
Cole physically relaxed, his body melting into the couch under me, and sighed again. He pulled the throw rug off the back of the couch and arranged it over us.
“But please, go easy on her?” I asked. “She’s going through a rough time at the moment.”
“What sort of a rough time? Her fiancé is overseas, your fiancé is overseas,” he said through clenched teeth. “The only difference is she’s a bitch, and you’re, well, you’re you.”
“She’s under additional stress. Quite a bit, actually,” I added.
“Maybe she needs to get laid, relieve the stress.”
Too late, I think she got laid one too many times.
I could feel him squirming a little bit beside me. “What are you thinking about? You’re not going to offer to help relieve her stress are you?” I joked, wondering what was causing the shift in mood.
“God no! Even I couldn’t tap that,” he exclaimed, horrified. “I was just thinking, maybe you need to get laid, too. You never did sleep with Mr Hotbod.” He laughed, but it was a nervous laugh.
I slapped him lightly on the chest. Mr Hotbod was the nickname Kelli and I had given Cole before we really knew him. When he was just some hot guy I used to drool over at the gym.
“You know I’m engaged, so that’s not going to happen.”
He brushed my hair back behind my ear. “I know you’re in a relationship, but you’re not going to be able to last six months without sex.”
He was squirming again, like he wanted to say something but felt a little uncomfortable. Maybe he didn’t know how I would react.
“Hmm, so …” I prompted.
“So, I know you’re not looking for another relationship, but would you consider being ‘friends with benefits’? You know, fuck buddies?”
If I’d had a drink in my mouth, it would have sprayed everywhere. “What? You’re offering to service my needs, are you?”
“What? Just think about it.” He was trying to sell the idea now. “It’s not an offer I make lightly. In fact, I’ve never offered it.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “You’re joking, right? You’ve never offered sex with no strings before? That’s all you’ve ever offered a girl.”
“You’re wrong, Tara. I’m offering you total control of the deal. Anytime, anywhere you want. I’ve never handed the control to anyone. I’ve always been the one calling the shots.”
I had to figuratively step back for a moment. If what he was saying were true, it was a huge deal for Cole to give me total control.
“Anytime, anywhere?” I asked.
I wasn’t seriously considering the idea, but I had to admit, the concept was intriguing.
“Yep.”
“So, what if you’re with someone and I call you? Are you going to just leave her, and come rushing to me?”
“I would drop everything, and everyone if you called. I would be available to you and your needs, twenty-four, seven.”
I could see Cole was nervous as he clenched his jaw. I ran my hand over his chest. His heart was beating so fast as he bit his bottom lip, and waited for me to make my decision.
My mind was already made up. It wasn’t going to happen.
“You know I’m not a casual-sex kind of person. I can’t just call you for sex. For me, there has to be an emotional connection as well.”
“Is it because of Hotshot?” His voice sounded hoarse.
I leaned up on my elbow so I could see his face more clearly. He was frowning, looking down at his hand that was now holding mine.
“Yes, and no. I can’t cheat on Riley with you, or anyone else. But even if I were single, I couldn’t do casual, and you couldn’t do a relationship. It wouldn’t be enough for me, and in the end, one of us would get hurt, and I would put money on it being me.”
He looked up at me, and half smiled. “Okay, so I’ll take the sex off the table.”
“It was never really on the table.”
“Not for you, maybe.” The corner of his mouth twitched cheekily.
My heart skipped a beat. He was so gorgeous when he looked at me like that.
“But seriously, anytime, anywhere. If you need me, just call. I’ll drop everything.”
I kissed him on the cheek, and snuggled into his chest again.
“Thank you, babe, that means a lot to me.”
I could feel him shaking his head. “You’re the most important person in my life, Tara. I’d do anything for you; you know that. Besides, we spend so much time together, it’s not a big stretch.”
I closed my eyes. He was up there on my list of important people, too. Maybe number two?
I finally drifted off to sleep, with Cole stroking my back as I listened to the steady beat of his generous heart.
The last thing I heard w
as Cole whispering into the darkness, “You just called me babe.”
I AWOKE with a start.
My arm had gone to sleep from laying on it all night, and my face was squished into someone’s neck. It was Cole’s. I inhaled his warm cedar and musk scent. Even after sleeping on the couch all night, he smelt unbelievable.
Sitting up, I moved my head from side to side, trying to stretch out the kinks.
“Good morning, sleepy head. Did you just sniff me again?”
I looked down at Cole. He was grinning up at me as I rubbed my shoulders and numb arm.
“Good morning,” I replied with a groan, as I stretched my arms over my head. “You know I’m staying here so I don’t have to sleep on a couch. Kind of defeats the purpose, spending the night out here.”
He sat up and started rubbing my arm, trying to get the blood to flow back into it.
“I disagree. I’m sure I’m much more comfortable to lay on than your lumpy couch.” He moved his attention to my shoulders, and I sighed. “Besides, it’s not every day I have someone dribble all down my neck.”
I wiped my hand across my cheek. It was damp. Oh my God, I had dribbled in my sleep. I checked Cole’s neck and quickly wiped it dry.
“You should be used to it,” I said, trying to make light of the embarrassing situation. “You have girls drooling over you everywhere you go.”
He chuckled. “No one who matters.” He took my hand away from his now dry neck and held it. “Until now, that is.”
It was true though. Everywhere we went girls were falling over themselves to get a closer look, or to talk to him.
On the plus side, it increased the service in stores tenfold to be with Cole. Shop assistants would come out of the woodwork to see if he needed help with anything. Of course they would quite often ignore me, until he indicated and shifted their attention.
I remember when he took me for a little retail therapy one time, and it was so full on I was ready to just walk out of the store. But every time the girls started fussing over him, he would redirect their focus, and point out that I was the one who had to like the dress, or shoes, or handbag.
Now that I thought about it, he didn’t seem to openly flirt with girls anymore. When we first met, he was such a player it was almost embarrassing to witness. I had even walked in on him in the back room at Songbirds while he was having sex. He hadn’t missed a beat while he had virtually carried out a conversation with me.
He seemed to have curbed that behaviour a little bit recently. Either that, or he just knew I didn’t like it, so didn’t do it while I was around.
“What are you thinking about?”
His question shook me out of my stroll down memory lane.
“Just that time that I walked in on you in the back room. Do you remember that?”
From the look in his eyes he definitely did remember it. “I remember that same night I walked in on you and Hotshot out the back.”
I turned a lovely shade of scarlet at the memory.
“Fuck, you were hot that night,” he said huskily.
Now my cheeks were really burning up.
“I wasn’t so crazy about seeing Hotshot with his pants down, but I got a little glimpse of you.” He ran his eyes down my neck and over my chest.
His gaze made its way back up to my face, and our eyes locked for a few moments before I had to look away.
“You shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed, babe.” He gave my arm a little shake so I would look at him. “You’re beautiful and sexy, and your body is smokin’ hot.”
I laughed. I’d never been called ‘smokin’ hot’ before, and to me it just didn’t gel.
“Well if I’m going to keep this body smokin’ hot, I’d better get to the gym,” I said, and climbed over Cole and off the couch.
“Is Kelli going with you?”
Cole was up and … oh crap, don’t look … he was adjusting himself, the way guys do sometimes. He laughed when he saw me quickly divert my eyes from his crotch.
“Ah, no, she’s not coming with me,” I said, trying to look anywhere but where my eyes kept wanting to go.
“Good, I’ll come with you then.”
Going to the gym with Cole was actually really great fun. We ran on the treadmills together, spurring each other on until we were both sprinting. After twenty minutes, our singlets were clinging to us from sweat.
He then encouraged me to do some extra upper-body work, pushing me until my arms were shaking with fatigue. Then, while I recovered, I watched in awe as Cole bench-pressed more than my entire body weight while Mal spotted him.
After the upper-body work, I did my usual lower-body exercises while Cole went to stand with Mal. They were watching me, whispering and laughing while I literally worked my butt off.
“Come on you. You could do with some toning up of your backside,” I called to Cole.
Mal burst out laughing, while Cole stuck out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout and came over to me.
He turned around so his back was to me. “Don’t you like my butt?”
I gave it a little tap and a squeeze; it was as hard as a rock. “It’s a bit flabby,” I said jokingly.
Mal was still watching, with tears starting to well in his eyes he was laughing so hard. I don’t think a girl had ever said anything negative about Cole’s body.
“Hmm, do the exercises work?” he asked inquisitively. “Can I feel your butt?”
Before I could turn around so he could tap my backside, he wrapped his arms around me and grabbed hold of it with both hands.
He squeezed hard. “Wow, the exercises do work,” he said, laughing, still holding on to my butt cheeks.
I swatted him away, but I couldn’t stop laughing. Every time I did something to tease him, he always got one better over me. He was so cheeky, but he had tailored his humour so I didn’t find it offensive anymore. Either that, or I was just more used to him now.
We finished exercising, then showered and met back in the cafe to grab some coffee and fruit for breakfast.
“So, what were you and Mal whispering about before?” I asked, feeling a little paranoid.
Cole smirked at me. “He was asking me if we were going out, or just sleeping together.”
“What?” I asked, stunned. “Why would he think we were together at all? Doesn’t he know what you’re like? You know, your rule of ‘I only sleep with a girl once’.” I did my best impersonation of Cole’s deep gravelly voice, and he pulled a face at me.
“I do not sound like that.” He was looking at me like I had lost my mind.
“You might not sound like that, but you’ve told me enough times that you will only sleep with a girl once. So how could we possibly be together?”
He looked down and shook his head. I was suddenly worried I had offended him somehow.
“Mal knows me very well, and yes, he knows what I’m like with girls. He also knows that when I’m with you, it’s different.”
He finally looked back up at me. His eyes were serious. “I’ve told you before, you’re an exception to my rules. All of my rules.”
Oh. I didn’t know what to say to that. Did he mean that if we did, hypothetically, sleep together, it wouldn’t be a once off?
I was just pondering that very confusing thought, when Mal came over.
“Are you back on for Boot Camp Friday, Tara?”
“I guess so,” I said happily. I had missed the last few weeks with Riley, and then with Sydney, but there were no excuses now.
“See, mate?” Mal turned to Cole. “At least you’ll have one person to boss around.”
What? I looked from Mal to Cole, and they both looked at me with huge grins on their faces.
“Oh, didn’t Cole tell you? He’ll be taking the class from now on. He’s decided he doesn’t want to be the silent partner in the business anymore. He’s actually going to do some work.”
My head was filled with my conversation with Cole all morning. Every time I wasn’t one hundred percen
t focused on what I was doing, my thoughts would drift back to Cole.
I needed someone to talk to, to bounce ideas off, but I knew this was one topic I couldn’t discuss with Kelli. She would pack our bags as soon as we’d finished work and shuttle me back to my place, and I didn’t want that to happen. As confused as I was about my feelings for Cole, I knew I couldn’t stay away from him.
So I called Jason and invited him to lunch.
“Okay, so what’s the goss?” he asked as we sat down at a table in the little cafe we had arranged to meet in.
“I need someone to talk to, and I can’t talk to Kelli. But it has to stay between us, and please, no judgement, just honest opinions.”
“Ah! It’s about Cole, isn’t it?” He fanned himself. “He is like a god, that man. The most perfect body I have ever seen. And those eyes! What a shame he’s straight.” He leaned in to me and raised his eyebrows. “Or is it a shame?”
I buried my face in my hands for a moment. When I looked back up, Jason was looking at me like he could read my mind. Every last sordid detail.
“Kelli and I are staying at his place for the week.”
“What?” he shrilled. Everyone in the cafe stopped what they were doing, and stared at us.
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the huge grin that wanted to spread across my face. “We’re staying there because my hot water system died, and so I don’t have to sleep on the couch. He has three bedrooms in his apartment.”
“Hmm, and how many are being used?” he asked slyly.
I stopped for a moment. Technically, only one was used last night, because we had spent the night on the couch together.
“All three are being used. Kelli made both of us promise to stay out of each other’s rooms.”
“Did you?”
“Yes.” I stopped, debating how much information to divulge.
If I needed an honest opinion on what was going on, I had to tell Jason everything so he could get the whole picture. “We slept on the couch … together.”
Jason’s eyes just about bulged out of his head.
“Wait! Not together, just cuddled together.” I took a deep breath, and leaned in to Jason so I could lower my voice. “And he asked me if I wanted to be ‘friends with benefits,’ you know? F buddies.”