Songbird Caged

by Lisa Edward

  I told her I was leaving work to focus on opening the restaurant. Her immediate response was to ask what Riley thought of me doing so.

  I sighed. Riley would be receiving my letter in about a week, and I guessed I would find out sometime after that what he thought. I knew it wouldn’t be positive, or supportive. I also knew it was something that I felt very strongly about, so I was willing to fight for it. At least I was being honest with him. The whole issue of his salary, and why he had so little money, was still on my mind. The more I thought about it and where his money could be going, the more questions I had.

  “So the other thing I want to do,” I told Kelli, thinking of money, “is buy you a new car.”

  “Absolutely not,” she exclaimed. “I’ll get my car fixed, it will last me another few years.”

  “But it’s not safe for the baby, Kell. What happens if you’re out at night and it breaks down? You don’t want to be stranded. Please let me do this for you, and my little god-baby.” I grinned at her.

  She looked at the cheeky grin on my face, and gave in. “Okay, but only a cheap second-hand car, for the baby’s sake.”

  I agreed. I knew the hard part would be to get her to the car dealership. Once we were there, I could fight the second half of the battle, which was to upgrade from a used car to a new car.

  I packed up my desk and said my goodbyes to everyone. Because it was such short notice, there were no farewell drinks organised, which was just as well. While I enjoyed organising them for everyone else, I didn’t want to attend my own farewell.

  I walked out the office at 5:00pm with a box of personal belongings under my arm, and a sense of excitement coursing through me.

  This was the start of a new chapter in my life, and regardless of how much I knew Riley would be against it because it meant accessing my trust fund, I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into this venture.

  I called into Songbirds early that evening to see Marcus. He greeted me with a huge dimpled grin on his face, and a tight hug.

  “Hey partner, how are you?”

  I laughed. “I’m great. How are you, partner?”

  I played most of my usual songs that night, and added a few new ones, including Ingrid Michaelson’s version of ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’. I was just finishing up for the night when I noticed Cole in the corner with a tall, leggy blonde girl.

  My stomach took a dive, and I suddenly felt nauseas watching them together. She kept touching his chest flirtatiously and running her finger around his belt, and he was smiling down at her like he was ready to devour her right there and then.

  I inhaled deeply through my nose and exhaled slowly a couple of times, until the nausea finally faded. I knew what he was like, what he had always been like, since we’d met. But I hadn’t seen him in action for a few months, and I was surprised at how it affected me.

  What was worse, he had seen me watching him, and was bringing her over.

  I plastered a smile on my face.

  “Hey babe, great set tonight.”

  My eyes flicked over to the blonde who was wearing a very sheer top that almost covered both nipples. Almost.

  “Thanks,” I said through gritted teeth. “I was going to see if you wanted to come over later, but I guess you’ll be busy.”

  He looked over his shoulder at the girl who was standing patiently a few paces behind him. She was twirling her hair around her finger, gazing lustfully at Cole.

  “Shouldn’t take long.” He gave me a wink. “You know if you need me, anytime …” He let the sentence trail off.

  “Can you at least take a shower before you come over? I can smell her cheap perfume from here.”

  God, that was bitchy, but I couldn’t help it. I could feel the bile rising again, and I had to swallow hard to keep it down.

  Cole tilted his head, and looked at me curiously. “I’ll be over in half an hour, unless you need me sooner.”

  He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and then slung his arm around Barbie’s shoulder and they left.

  I couldn’t take it. I had left the bar ten minutes ago, and had just arrived home. All I could think about was what Cole was doing with her. I paced the floor of my apartment, until I was sure I could see a worn out track in the carpet pile.

  I grabbed my phone.

  I need you, now.

  Okay, let’s see how true to his word he was. Anytime, anywhere, he had said. If he was with someone he would leave her, and come racing to me if I needed him. Well, now was the test.

  Sitting on the edge of the couch, I jiggled my legs up and down impatiently. I held my phone so tight I thought it was going to break in my hand. What if he was busy, or his phone was in his jeans pocket, and his jeans were no longer on his body?

  I swallowed the bile that was rising in my throat again.

  Finally, my phone buzzed.

  I’m on my way.

  Exhaling, I flopped back into the worn cushions on the couch. I checked my watch. It had only been fifteen minutes since he’d left with her. Surely that wasn’t enough time to actually do anything.

  There was a knock on my door two minutes later, and I jumped. He must have been close to be here so soon. I opened the door, and a sense of peace flooded over me. He was still in the same clothes, and they were still ‘neat’—like they hadn’t been ripped off him yet.

  “Hi,” he said, with a twitch at the corner of his mouth. “Long time no see.” He strolled past me. “So, what’s the emergency that couldn’t wait another,” he looked at his watch, “fifteen minutes?”

  “What? What do you mean, fifteen minutes?” I was confused.

  “I said I’d be here in half an hour, which would be in about fifteen minutes.”

  “Oh, right.”

  “So, the emergency?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

  Crap. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I’d told him I needed him now, but why?

  I exhaled, puffing out my cheeks and looking around. “There was a,” I flapped my hand at the wall, “a spider. Huge, big, hairy thing, on the wall.”

  “Uh-huh, a huge, hairy spider. You don’t say?” He was smirking at me. “So what happened to this beast that was on the wall?”

  I shrugged, and shook my head. “I don’t know. It must have run away. I think it went out the door.”

  “Wow, must have been big if it could open the door and let itself out.” He was biting his top lip.

  I could tell he wasn’t buying any of this, but he was playing along anyway.

  “So, the emergency is over, then?”

  I nodded reluctantly. Was he going to leave again? Go back to her, and pick up where they’d left off?

  He went over to the entertainment cabinet and opened the doors that held the DVDs. “Okay, so we can watch the new Game of Thrones DVDs you bought without being attacked by the eight-legged monster.”

  Yes, we could.

  I went out to the pantry and gathered some snacks while Cole put the first DVD on. Then I flicked off the light, and we cuddled up on the couch, ready to settle in for a Game of Thrones marathon.

  “Sorry I interrupted your evening,” I mumbled, not really meaning it.

  He stroked my hair in response.

  The guilt was starting to eat at me. “Cole,” I exhaled. “There wasn’t really an emergency.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he replied smugly.

  I leaned up on my elbow so I could see his face. “You knew?”

  He nodded, his eyes gleaming.

  “Then why did you come over?”

  “I said, if you needed me I would come. I’m just surprised it took you thirteen minutes before you needed me.”

  He had the most adorable grin on his face.

  “It was fifteen minutes thank you very much, and I did need you.”

  He tilted his head to one side, and looked deep into my eyes. “What did you need me for, Tara?”

  I wanted to look away, but that would be too easy. I held his gaze.

  “For this. I n
eeded someone to watch the DVDs with. And, I didn’t want you to be with her,” I finally confessed. “By the way, where were you when you got my text? You got here really quickly.”

  A huge grin spread over his face. “I was at home.”

  “But … but you don’t take girls home. Why did you take her to your place?” I stammered.

  “I wasn’t with her. I’d already slept with her before, and you know my rules. I walked her out to her car, and then went home for a quick shower and to get changed before coming here.” He looked down at his clothes with a triumphant smirk. “Although you didn’t even give me time to do that.”

  I slapped him on the chest and he grabbed my wrist, pulling me over so I was laying on top of him. His hands were on my waist, and they started creeping down to my backside.

  “Admit it; you were jealous,” he teased. “Go on, say it, you want me.” He grabbed hold of my butt and ground his pelvis into mine. “You want me.”

  I couldn’t answer him. Of course I was jealous, and yes, I wanted him. He was mine, and I didn’t want to share him, not in any way. But I couldn’t say it out loud. To even admit that I had feelings for Cole would be betraying Riley.

  Cole’s cheeky smile turned to one of understanding. He raised his hands to my face, sliding his fingers into my hair.

  “You know there’ll be times when I really do go home with someone.” He studied my face. “You told me not to change because you couldn’t give me what I want. And let’s just make it perfectly clear, what I want is you in my bed.”

  I bit my lip, trying to stop the smile that wanted to split my face in two. All I was focusing on were the last eight words he had just said.

  “So, until I can have you … until you finally wake up to the fact that you should be with me, and not Hotshot, I can’t shut myself away.”

  I nodded, and buried my face in his neck. He wrapped his arms around me.

  “Can you do me a favour, though?” I murmured into his neck.

  I felt him nod.

  “Can you not flaunt it in my face? If you have to go home with someone—” I could feel tears sting my eyes, but I blinked them away. “—can you not do it at Songbirds when I’m there?”

  He lifted my head back up. “You know I’m new to all this emotional stuff.” He touched my forehead. “What’s going on in here? I just really need to be sure I understand.”

  “I … I want … you … to be careful. I worry about you. Besides, you’re so much better than the girls who throw themselves at you.”

  The corner of his mouth dipped disappointedly, but he nodded his head. “I’ve tried the celibacy thing, babe, it lasted a few weeks. Problem is, at least with you, you know it’s only for six months, and then Hotshot will be back. For me, there was no end in sight. No light at the end of the tunnel. No incentive to change.”

  I always knew what he was like, so how could I expect him to change when I had nothing to offer him? There would always be temptation for him, and why shouldn’t he go for it? I didn’t have any right to ask him not to.

  I was with Riley, and I could never betray the promise I had made him. Not even for Cole, because I knew Cole could never commit.

  And that was the one huge difference between the two leading men in my life.

  They were both gorgeous, generous and made me laugh. They both looked out for me, and made me feel safe and protected.

  But with Riley, I knew he would never cheat on me, or hurt me in that way. He was faithful and loyal, and I would be able to trust him in a room full of supermodels to not be tempted.

  Cole, on the other hand—well, it was inevitable that he would hurt me, because he didn’t want to settle down. A room full of supermodels would be like a buffet breakfast for Cole. It would be a smorgasbord for him to pick and choose, and then go back for seconds or thirds.

  I squeezed Cole tighter. I knew I couldn’t ask him to live like a monk just to ease my mind. The most I could hope for were times like this, where it was just the two of us, together. Where at least, for a little while, I felt completely at peace. Where I could pretend that all the stars were aligned, and we were exactly where we were meant to be.

  THE FIRST thing I needed was a name for the restaurant. Sitting back on the couch, I tapped my pen against the notepad on my lap, trying to think.

  My mind was blank.

  It was like when you had to change your password on the computer at work. It always seemed to happen when you were logging in on a Monday morning after a big weekend. And just trying to think of eight characters that included numbers and letters was damn near impossible.

  That required coffee, and so did this.

  I pulled on my boots, then grabbed my coat, scarf and beanie. The wind was bitterly cold, and I hunkered down into my coat and pulled the scarf up over my mouth. I loved living near the ocean during summer, but in winter the sea breeze was icy.

  I ducked into the first cafe I came across, and found a booth near the open fireplace in the corner. It was toasty warm, and I stripped off my scarf and coat.

  A very bubbly waitress came over to serve me almost as soon as I’d settled in.

  “Hey, would you like a menu, or are you just escaping from the cold?” she chirped in a singsong friendly manner.

  “Just a cappuccino, thanks, the bigger the better,” I replied as I looked up.

  “Sure, no worries. If you need anything else, just holler. My name’s Nicole.”

  She flicked her deep red ponytail as she turned, and made her way back behind the counter to the coffee machine.

  I chuckled as I thought, I should bring Cole here. At least he wouldn’t flirt with the waitress; she has red hair. I knew I couldn’t keep him away from other girls forever, but I could try.

  And that was something else that bothered me. I would have to hire half a dozen waitresses for the restaurant, which would give Cole ‘fresh blood’ to flirt with.

  Hmm, that gave me an idea. What if all the girls had red hair? Could I do that? I couldn’t advertise for redheads only—that would be discriminatory. Maybe they could wear red wigs?

  “Maybe I could just hire men,” I thought out loud, just as Nicole came over with the biggest mug of coffee I’d ever seen.

  “What do you need to hire men for?” she asked as she placed the mug down in front of me, with a saucer of chocolate truffles beside it.

  “Thanks! They look great.”

  They did look great, but the coffee looked and smelt even better.

  “I need to hire some waiting staff for a restaurant I’m opening.”

  It was the first time I’d told anyone besides close friends and my parents about the restaurant. Saying it out loud seemed to make it more real, and more exciting.

  Nicole looked around; there was no one else in the cafe. She then indicated to the bench seat across from me to see if it was okay for her to sit down, before climbing in.

  “If you’re looking to hire men, then what I’m about to say is pointless, but I’m always looking for work.”

  I indicated for her to continue.

  “I moved to Melbourne from Adelaide about four months ago. I’m actually a dancer, but so far I haven’t had any luck, so I’m working here to pay the rent.”

  Now that I was looking at her, she looked like a dancer. She carried herself well, and had a lean, toned dancer’s build.

  “I’d really like to work in the evenings so I can go to auditions during the day.”

  “Do you sing as well?” I asked. My mind was racing at a million miles an hour with ideas for the restaurant.

  “A little bit. I’m mainly a dancer though.”

  We sat there and chatted for about half an hour, bouncing ideas around. I knew we had only just met, but she felt like a kindred spirit.

  I wanted the restaurant to not just be a sit-down-and-eat restaurant, and keeping with the theme of Songbirds, I wanted it to involve music somehow. There wasn’t any stage upstairs yet, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t build one. I
just had to come up with the concept.

  The main thing was to get people in, and keep them in for the night. If they came to eat, they could then go downstairs to the bar for the rest of the evening. Or they might come in for a drink, and end up eating there.

  I needed to run my ideas past Marcus, so I gave him a call to see where he was. He was just heading into Songbirds, so agreed to call past the cafe on the way.

  I felt like an intruder as I sat in the booth with a huge grin on my face. Marcus had come striding in out of the cold and headed straight for me.

  With his usual dimpled smile, he had wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me close, before his eyes shifted and locked onto Nicole.

  I looked around at Nicole. Her blue cat’s eyes were staring back, just as fixedly. I felt like I should excuse myself, not that they would have noticed, but instead I sat back down and watched fate play out in front of me.

  After time had stood still for an awkwardly long time, I cleared my throat and tried to get their attention. Marcus finally sat down across from me and we ordered a couple of coffees.

  I watched Marcus watching Nicole as she glided back behind the counter. I watched him watch her as she heated the milk, while repeatedly glancing in our direction. And I watched Marcus as he checked his shirt, and sat up a little straighter as she brought the coffees back over.

  It was adorable.

  “So, I guess introductions are in order,” I said pretty much to myself, because neither of them was listening.

  “Marcus, this is Nicole, the first of our waitresses for the restaurant.”

  Marcus beamed at me. I could see in his eyes he was sending me a big, warm, fuzzy thank-you hug.

  “Nicole, this is Marcus, my partner in Songbirds, and the restaurant. Which I guess makes him your boss, too.”

  They both looked at me when I said that. Was the no-boning rule that Marcus had put in place when Cole had started playing at Songbirds applicable to Marcus, after all?

  “I think you can look after the waitresses, Tara,” Marcus told me. “I don’t need to get involved at all. They can be your responsibility.”

  So was this a loophole Marcus was trying to find?

  I told Marcus that I wanted to incorporate music upstairs, and he thought it was a great idea. The rest of the time was spent with Marcus trying to subtly ask me what I knew about Nicole.