Songbird Caged

by Lisa Edward

  “Hey partner, what brings you down here? Checking up on me?”

  Lou was, to put it mildly, quite terrifying to look at. But the warmth in his eyes as he greeted Cole with a bear hug made me smile.

  He had tattoos on every inch of available skin that I could see, including his bald head. The only thing that wasn’t tattooed was his face, which instead was pierced in several places. From where I was standing I could count six piercings, plus a huge gauge in each ear.

  “So, who’s this?” he asked gruffly, turning to look at me.

  I hesitated for a moment before falling into old habits, and extending my hand in preparation for a handshake.

  “Hi, I’m Tara.”

  I could see Cole’s lip twitch with an unexpressed laugh as Lou stepped forward, and politely shook my hand.

  “Pleasure to meet you, Tara. I’m Lou, what can I do for you today? Perhaps a pretty butterfly, or a rose?”

  I rolled my eyes at him, and he gave me a hearty laugh that rivalled one of Cole’s.

  “She wants a word on her wrist,” Cole chimed in.

  “Don’t tell me your groupies are getting your name tattooed now, partner. Shouldn’t it be on her ass?”

  Cole bit his lip and looked at me, waiting for my reaction. Maryanne laughed, as if she was in on the joke.

  “I am not one of his groupies, thank you very much, and you’re not going anywhere near my ass,” I said indignantly. “We’re—friends.”

  “Friends, huh? That’d be a first, friends with a chick.”

  “Ah, actually, Tara’s very special to me, so play nice, Lou.”

  Lou looked at Cole with raised eyebrows for a moment, before shrugging his shoulders. “Okay, Tara, I’ll be finished up here in about ten minutes. Make yourself comfortable. You can flick through some samples of script if you’d like.”

  I knew what word I wanted—faith—that was easy. But I hadn’t really thought about the script, so I took Lou up on his offer, and looked through some sample books while we waited.

  Cole came over and slung his arm around my shoulders, trying to gain my attention.

  “I know,” I said, without bothering to look up at him. “She’s another one of your conquests. At least you know her name. That’s a first.”

  “Actually, she’s not one of my conquests, as you put it. She’s Lou’s sister.”

  I looked up at his face, his emerald-green eyes studying mine.

  “I’m glad you’re with me. She usually asks me out, which is really awkward. I couldn’t touch Lou’s little sister, he’s like my brother. Which, in a weird way, makes her my little sister, too.”

  “So, do you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?” I asked teasingly.

  He beamed at me cheekily, his eyes sparkling. “Depends. Can we make out like horny teenagers?”

  “Ha! You wish.” I slapped him on the chest.

  “Yeah, I do, and so do you.”

  Cole wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck, making me giggle. He tickled my ribs, and I jumped and squealed. I slapped Cole’s hands and tried to pull them away, making him hold on tighter.

  “Okay, you two lovebirds; do you know what you want?”

  We decided on the script, and direction of the text. I then sat down with my wrist outstretched for Lou to start going to work.

  Lou went over to the CD player and changed the disc, then came over and set up, ready to get down to business. The music of Fleetwood Mac filled the little store, and I looked up at Cole quizzically.

  He laughed. “Can’t beat the Mac, can you, mate?” he joked to Lou.

  “No you can’t, partner. You can’t beat the Mac.”

  I had to stifle a little giggle. Lou was a contradiction and a half. The old saying You can’t judge a book by its cover could have been written with Lou in mind.

  “Nervous?” Cole asked with a grin.

  I tried to put on a brave face. “A little bit, maybe.”

  I was shaking like a leaf, but I didn’t want to tell him that. He would probably just make fun of me. The truth was, I was petrified of needles, like, faint-at-the-sight-of -them petrified, so in hindsight, this may not have been one of my better ideas.

  The needle touched my skin, and I flinched. Damn, that hurt. The first line had been completed, and it was burning. I didn’t know if I would make it through.

  “How much longer is this going to take?” I asked, trying not to look at the needle.

  “Should take about ten to fifteen minutes all up,” Lou replied. “Let me know if you need a little break. Maybe a cup of tea.” He imitated drinking a cup of tea, little pinkie raised and all.

  I was expecting Cole to laugh, but he frowned at Lou, and shook his head. He then came over and squeezed in behind me on the chair, and gave me a comforting cuddle.

  “It does hurt a bit, but it’s only ten minutes, babe. My arm took ten hours over three sessions. And you don’t even want to know how long my back took.”

  Taking a deep breath, I tried to relax and be brave. I knew it was only ten or fifteen minutes, but all my attention was focused on that little needle.

  “I need a distraction,” I whispered to Cole.

  “You know if you can’t handle it, I can change the ‘i’ to a ‘t’ and leave it at that.”

  I looked at my wrist. Lou had completed the ‘Fa’. I glared at him, and tried to look as mean as possible.

  “Uh-oh, you’re getting the angry face,” Cole told Lou with a laugh.

  Lou looked up. “Is that her angry face?”

  “Yep, adorable, isn’t she?”

  “I am not adorable,” I replied, giving them my best scowl.

  “Yeah, you are,” Cole said softly.

  “I don’t know, partner, I’m shaking in my boots.” Lou looked over at Cole, and the two men laughed out loud.

  I was seriously considering leaving it as ‘Fa’ and just going. I could always wear a thick bracelet for the rest of my life.

  But just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, Maryanne walked out of her private room wearing the skimpiest singlet I’d ever seen. Did the girl not know it was freezing outside? And please, how much side-boob can one person show?

  She walked straight over to Cole, who was still sitting behind me, and leaned down to show him her shoulder. “What do you think? Lou’s done a great job, hasn’t he?”

  It was the first time I’d ever seen Cole embarrassed and not know where to look. He turned his head back towards me so he was nuzzling my neck again.

  “We may need to make out like horny teenagers after all,” he breathed into my ear. “What do you say?”

  I reached around behind me, cupping his cheek with my hand. I was going to say something sarcastic, like when hell freezes over, but the look in his eyes stopped me in my tracks. He looked like his only thought in the world was kissing me, like his life depended on it. The look of total wanting etched all over his face was like nothing I’d ever seen before.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  I parted my lips to speak or do something, but nothing happened. All I could see was Cole, his lips only an inch away from mine.

  His emerald-green eyes flicked up and met mine for a second before refocusing on my mouth. I needed to do something before he leaned in any closer and kissed me.

  Maryanne, not getting the attention she so desperately wanted, had walked over to a stack of CDs strewn messily on top of the stereo. She called out to Cole, asking him what he wanted to listen to, breaking our near-kiss moment.

  “Hey, don’t touch that,” Lou barked at her. “You can’t mess with the Mac.” He looked over at her with the fiercest look in his eyes I’d ever seen. “And for fuck’s sake, put some clothes on. He wasn’t interested in you when we were kids, he’s not interested now.”

  Despite the pain in my wrist, I had to smile. No, he wasn’t interested in her, which to me felt like a little victory.

  The tattoo was really burning. Every nerve in my body seemed to h
ave congregated in my wrist, and was screaming at me. I started to fidget.

  “Hang on, babe, nearly there.”

  I exhaled slowly, and then Cole got up and went over to the CD player. I was waiting for Lou to bark at him, but instead he just skipped a couple of songs and then came back over, resuming his position behind me.

  ‘Songbird’ started playing. “I love this song,” I said to him, trying to focus on the music.

  “Sing for me,” Cole whispered in my ear.

  “You sing, too.”

  So we sat there in the little tattoo parlour, with a mean-looking teddy bear and a slutty-looking wannabe Cole groupie, and we sang ‘Songbird’ together.

  We started off quietly, but as both of us sang for a living, we didn’t stay quiet for long. We harmonised, and somehow knew when to sing, and when to let the other person take the lead. As it came to the part about wishing you love, but most of all wishing it from myself, Cole gave me a squeeze, and I rested my hand on his thigh.

  I had to remind myself that I was engaged to someone else, as the song came to its end and Cole sang about loving you like never before.

  I could feel myself falling for him a little more every day. It was worrying, but it also gave me those nervous butterflies that were so exhilarating.

  The work on my wrist was finally completed, and I sat back and breathed a sigh of relief. It looked great. Although it was very red, I could see that Lou had done a great job.

  “How much do I owe you?” I asked Lou as he walked us back to the front of the store.

  He looked at me like I’d just asked him to explain algebra. “No point in paying me. Might as well just blow him and be done with it. Give The Prince a little kiss, ya know?”

  “What?”

  Cole had his hand over his mouth, but I could see from his eyes he was about to split his sides laughing. “Ah, babe, I own this place, so basically Lou thinks you can pay me in other ways.”

  My cheeks were turning bright red, but I couldn’t help the smile that was creeping over my face. “We’ll work something out then,” I finally replied, and left it at that.

  “So, I’ll see you tonight at the club?” Lou asked Cole with a sly smile on his face.

  Cole looked at me and just shook his head. “No, not this month. Say hi to the guys for me though.”

  Lou shook his head in disappointment. “Never thought I’d see the day you were pussy-whipped.”

  What was he talking about? It wasn’t anything to do with me that Cole didn’t want to go to some club with him.

  “Mind you, I wouldn’t mind being whipped by her pus—”

  “Okay, thanks Lou,” Cole interrupted before Lou could finish.

  I asked Cole what club he had decided not to go to. Maybe it would be fun if we all went?

  I wished I hadn’t asked. It was a bikie club that Lou belonged to, and apparently, on the second Thursday of every month, they had a little ‘get together’. They drank copious amounts of alcohol, gambled on various card games, and when they got bored, they had strippers come in and perform little shows for the boys, either privately or in a group.

  Cole looked at me sheepishly as my face screwed up into a ‘yuck’ expression. I couldn’t help it. The thought of a group of men standing around watching two girls together made my stomach turn.

  “Do you like watching stuff like that?” I asked Cole, frowning.

  He chuckled uncomfortably. “Show me a guy who doesn’t. I don’t sleep with any of the girls, like some of the guys do. I just watch the shows. I get bored with it pretty quickly, really.”

  Oh, so that made it all okay then—not.

  Looking down at my wrist again, I reminded myself I didn’t have the right to tell him what he could and couldn’t do. Even if we were dating, I couldn’t stop him from going to the club if he wanted to.

  “What?” he asked, questioning my silence.

  I shook my head. “It’s just …” How did I explain what I was feeling when I didn’t even understand it myself? “… I don’t like the thought of it. Surely you don’t need to pay to see naked girls. They throw themselves at you all the time. It’s exploiting them. It’s disrespectful.”

  “They come of their own free will. No one makes them take their clothes off, babe.” He looked into my eyes, and gave me a half smile. “Anyway, I’m not going anymore, got better things to do with my time.” He gave me a squeeze, and I relaxed into his embrace.

  Cole scooped me up in his arms as soon as we left the building. “So, are you a convert? Where’s the next tattoo going to be? Maybe my name on your ass?”

  He held my arms down from behind so I couldn’t take a swipe at him for his remark.

  “Very funny,” I said as I struggled to get free.

  Cole opened my door for me when we got back to the car before going around to his side.

  “Thank you for coming with me. You have no idea how terrified I am of needles,” I finally confessed.

  “I gathered that from the lovely shade of white you turned as soon as Lou started. It looks good, though.”

  He reached down and took my hand gently before turning my wrist over. It did look good. It was red and sore, but I was really pleased with the result.

  “So, you’re really not going to Lou’s club tonight?” I asked hopefully.

  He shook his head. “Maybe you need to have a little faith in me, babe.”

  I nodded and leaned over towards him, planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

  We all needed to have a little Faith.

  I HAD visited Kelli to show her my new tattoo, but within half an hour she was dozing off on the couch. In the end, I told her to go to bed and I made the short journey home.

  I checked the time. It was only nine, which meant The Sons were due to go on in about half an hour. I grabbed my bag, and headed for the door.

  Walking into Songbirds, I was really pleased to see the place was packed. The Sons were consistently pulling the crowds, which was great for business.

  I said hello to Marcus and Nicole as I passed them at the bar. Their nervous gazes followed me as I made my way to the back room to drop my bag off.

  The door was closed, so I knocked and went to open it, but it was locked. I knocked again, and waited.

  A few moments later, Cole stuck his head through the partially opened door. His face dropped when he saw me, before he forced a smile and slid through the crack, closing the door again behind him.

  “I thought you said you weren’t coming in tonight. You were visiting Kelli.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck for a hug, but he stiffened.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, babe,” he replied, as he tried to usher me back down the corridor.

  It suddenly dawned on me, and I pushed past him and flung the door open. There was a girl in front of the mirror, straightening her clothes, and smoothing her long, dark hair.

  I looked up at Cole. He was leaning against the wall, head back, eyes closed. He looked at me. “You said you weren’t coming in,” he muttered.

  “You’re right, I did say that, and I shouldn’t have.”

  I turned and stormed back out to the main bar. I reached Nicole, and grabbed her hand. “Feel like a girls’ night out?”

  She looked at Marcus. He saw my face, and then nodded to Nicole.

  “Okay, sounds great,” she replied apprehensively.

  “Right, I just need to go home first, and get changed into something skimpy.”

  My head was pounding as I tried to peer at the clock through half open eyes. There was another pounding I could hear. It was on my front door.

  I gingerly made my way through the apartment.

  “Who is it?” I croaked.

  “It’s me.”

  Oh, God. It was Cole.

  “What do you want?”

  “What do you mean, what do I want? Just let me in.”

  I groaned, and opened the door.

  Cole s
tood in the doorway, trying to assess my mood. It wasn’t good.

  Turning around, I headed back to bed. I wanted to pull the covers over my head and just pray he would go away.

  Cole followed me in, and pulled the covers off me. He sat on the edge of the bed and exhaled loudly. “I’m sorry, all right, but you said you weren’t coming in last night. If you’d told me you’d changed your mind…” He left the sentence hanging, instead choosing to throw his hands in the air.

  “No, you’re right, I should tell you whenever I’m going anywhere, just to be safe. I’ll let you know next time I’m going to the grocery store, so I don’t stumble across you fucking someone in the frozen-food section.”

  I sat up abruptly, making my head pound. “Why are you here, anyway?”

  “It’s Sunday,” he said, as if his presence here was obvious. “We’re having lunch with Pops, remember?”

  Oh, crap, I’d completely forgotten. I looked at the time: 11:15am. Not bad, considering I’d only got home five hours ago.

  “Pops is really looking forward to meeting you. He’s told all the nurses, and all his friends that you’re coming.”

  I dropped my head into my hands. It hurt.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said disappointedly. “I’ll tell him you’re sick or something.”

  “Yeah, sick of you not being able to keep it in your pants,” I mumbled under my breath.

  “You know, you and me, Tara, we’re not together. I’m single. I can fuck whoever I want.”

  “And you frequently do,” I shot back sarcastically.

  “What do you care anyway? You’re with Hotshot, remember?”

  Cole spotted something on the floor. He got up and went over to the pile of discarded clothes I’d left there.

  He picked up my skimpy short-shorts. “Is this what you went out in last night? Tell me you didn’t go out wearing these.”

  I turned it back around on him. “What do you care? We’re not together.”

  “I don’t want every guy ogling you, Tara, or hitting on you,” he said exasperatedly. “You can’t go out half-dressed. These are … there’s hardly anything of them.”

  “Like you said, we’re not together. I’m with Riley, in theory, at least.”