A Place for Family

by Mia Ross

  Amanda.

  He hadn’t heard from her since their blowup two weeks ago. Then again, he’d literally slammed the door on her, and he had no intention of bending on this one. If she went through with the adoption, he couldn’t live with the knowledge that she’d given her own child away. Even though he’d come to see that her reasons contained more than a sliver of sense, he couldn’t bring himself to accept them.

  But she’d refused to marry him, and wouldn’t allow him to help her raise the baby otherwise. He loved her more than he’d ever thought possible, and it was killing him to take such a hard line with her when she was in such a vulnerable position. Because of his strong feelings for her, even when they were friends he’d always given in, just to make her happy.

  Not this time.

  Unaccustomed to handling such thorny problems, he’d prayed a lot about this one. Even with God’s help, he kept coming back to the same conclusion.

  It had been tough for John to admit, but after a string of sleepless nights, he’d come to terms with the only thing capable of driving a wedge between Amanda and him. On this issue, he simply couldn’t compromise.

  Children were gifts from God, no matter how they came to be. They weren’t something to be cast off because they came along at an inconvenient time. While his marriage proposal might have been clumsy, it had come straight from his foolish heart, and that she’d rejected it definitely stung. He understood the desperation motivating her to consider adoption, and he would always love her because he didn’t know how to stop loving her. But emotions wouldn’t change the facts, no matter how much he wished things were different.

  When he noticed Marianne giving him the worried-mom look, John smiled to ease her concern and started eating. While he did his best to join in the lighthearted conversation, he couldn’t shake the terrible feeling that Amanda was driving her life straight over a cliff.

  And there was nothing he could do to stop her.

  * * *

  Amanda couldn’t recall how many different positions she’d tried for sleeping tonight. Each one started out fine, then quickly caused just as much pain as the one before. Sitting up was killing her back, so she tried lying down. She attempted it completely stretched out, then rolled to both sides with her legs at as many angles as she could manage with her bulky frame. Finally, around two in the morning, she struggled out of bed to sit up in the armchair. Resting her feet on a step stool, she tipped her head back and was able to doze. For about ten minutes.

  The pain returned with a vengeance, so intense it actually took her breath away. She was still a week from her due date, but she started wondering if she might be in labor. No, that wasn’t possible, her brain insisted. According to the book she’d all but memorized, nobody delivered her first child early. If anything, she went two weeks overdue and had to be induced.

  Suddenly, she was dying of thirst. Wonderful. As if she didn’t have enough problems. Sighing to no one, she pushed up from the chair and shuffled into the kitchen to get a glass of water. As she reached into the cupboard, a spasm that made the others feel like simple cramps caught her totally off guard, and she gasped in shock.

  She vaguely registered the glass shattering on the floor, and reached behind her, trying to massage the muscles that were clenched like fists. After what felt like minutes but was more like thirty seconds, things started to relax. And then she felt it.

  Liquid trickling down her leg. She couldn’t see in the near darkness, but instinct told her that her water had just broken. Soon after, the next wave of pain crashed in, and she dropped to the floor. Balanced on her hands and knees, she carefully avoided the broken glass while she tried to breathe the way she’d learned in Lamaze class. When the contraction passed, she noted the time and gulped in mouthfuls of air.

  The next one clobbered her five minutes later.

  “Okay, Amanda,” she coached herself in a hoarse whisper. “Time to go.”

  The shuttle to Kenwood didn’t run at night, so she had to call an ambulance. Terrified that she’d fall if she stood up, she crawled over to unlock the door for the EMTs. Then she made her way to the bedside table where her phone was charging. She hadn’t used it much lately, and when she picked it up, she had to wake it from sleep mode to make the call.

  Like some kind of beacon, the home screen photo flashed to life. It was of John with her at the farm, his arms wrapped around her from behind while she snapped the picture. Touching the image, she recalled that beautiful, sunny day, when everything had seemed so perfect. Like a fool, she’d allowed pragmatism to ruin her best chance at happiness.

  Why hadn’t she deleted this picture? she scolded herself. Memories like this would only make her somber decision more difficult to make. John had offered her everything a woman could want, and in taking such a firm stance on the adoption issue, she’d pretty much thrown it back in his face.

  Consumed by regrets and debating what-ifs, she’d unwisely lost track of the minutes ticking by. She was rudely hauled back to reality by a contraction so fierce, it made her drop her cell and double over in agony. The phone hit the table, and from a distance she heard a groggy—and very familiar—voice.

  “Amanda?”

  By some amazing coincidence, the fall had activated the icon programmed with John’s number. Glancing up, she offered a quick but heartfelt prayer of gratitude. “I’m in labor.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes,” she ground out between clenched teeth. “Now.”

  “On my way, Panda. Hang in there.”

  “John?”

  She could hear rustling as he pulled on his jacket. “Yeah?”

  “I’m really scared.” Hearing the whine in her voice, she pushed aside her usual disgust in favor of comfort. “Please don’t hang up.”

  “No problem.” She heard his boots running over gravel, then the welcome sound of his car roaring to life. “Hey, did you hear the Falcons’ starting quarterback is healed up and playing Sunday?”

  “Really?” She panted. “That’s great.”

  While he rambled along about how much the team needed their star player, she watched the digital seconds ticking away on her phone’s timer. Precisely four-and-a-half minutes after he’d answered her call, John came through the door just as another contraction stormed in. He talked her through it, then helped her to her feet.

  Rubbing her back in blissful circles, he asked, “Can you handle the stairs?”

  “I think so.”

  She managed a few steps before her legs felt like they’d morphed into rubber. Sweeping her up as if she didn’t weigh half a ton, he chuckled, “I think this’ll be easier.”

  Overjoyed to have him here, she rested her head on his shoulder and relinquished control of the situation with a tired sigh. “Okay.”

  He carted her downstairs and got her belted into his car. In the haze of headlights, he looked as exhausted as she felt. “You look beat.”

  “It’s the end of harvest season,” he replied as he got in beside her and headed out to the highway. “Things always get crazy this time of year.”

  “All your crops are in? Even the soybeans?”

  “Yeah. We paid off the loans, so we’re finally back to even.”

  “That’s great, John. Congratulations.” Leaning her head back, she breathed through another contraction.

  “How far apart are they?”

  “Four minutes now. My water broke a while ago.”

  “Aw, man.” He flashed her a grim look. “This is it, then.”

  She nodded, and he uncharacteristically gripped the wheel firmly in both hands, focusing on the winding road. He maintained a string of idle chatter obviously meant to keep her occupied so she wouldn’t freak out about what was coming. In spite of his efforts to distract her, she sensed that he wanted to ask if she was ready for this, if she’d de
cided what to do with the child who was rapidly making her way into the world.

  Sadly, Amanda still had no idea.

  * * *

  As John cradled the tiny bundle in his arms, he grinned over at Amanda. “I think we’ve got a little extra equipment here.” When she gave him a blurry, confused look, he explained. “It’s a boy.”

  “What?” She shook her head. “That’s not what the sonogram said.”

  “They’re not foolproof,” the nurse reminded her with a giggle. “We get surprises like this occasionally.”

  So far, John hadn’t noticed any indication of whether Amanda was going to keep this child or not. Everything had gone so quickly, she’d barely had time to shed the afghan he’d draped over her shoulders before leaving Ruthy’s. Because he firmly believed actions spoke louder than words, he strolled past the medical staff and handed the boy to his mother.

  The loving expression that lit her features answered the question that had been dogging him since this huge rift had formed between them, threatening to forever separate him from the woman he loved.

  “Oh, just look at him,” she breathed, her gaze roving over him from nose to toes. “He’s perfect.”

  “A real cutie, just like his mom.”

  With a look of wonderment, she ran a trembling fingertip over the baby’s cheeks, down to his chin, smiling as his new eyes cracked open and tried to focus on her. “How could I even think of giving him up?”

  “That’s what I’ve been waiting to hear.” John leaned in to brush a kiss over her lips, then rested his forehead against hers. “Missed you.”

  “I missed you, too.” Her voice quivering with emotion, she added, “I really needed you tonight, and you didn’t let me down. I can never thank you enough for coming.”

  “Hey, I told you. I’m your guy. One of ’em, anyway,” he clarified with a grin. “Any ideas for a name?”

  Gazing down at the newborn, she replied, “I’ve always liked Aidan.”

  “Cool. What do you think of Sawyer?”

  “Sawyer Gardner?”

  She seemed completely baffled, and he couldn’t help laughing. “Not exactly. I love you, Amanda. And this little guy, too,” he added, gently tickling the baby’s button nose with his finger. “Will you both marry me?”

  “Oh, that’s so sweet,” the nurse cooed, then backpedaled with a blush. “Sorry, but that’s about the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “It sure is.” Amanda beamed up at him as if he’d just handed her the keys to a castle. “And totally unlike a Sawyer boy. What’s come over you?”

  “You,” John replied softly. “For me, it’s always been you, and it always will be. So whattya say?”

  The baby chose that moment to squawk his opinion, and Amanda gave a tired laugh. Kissing her son’s forehead, she met John’s hopeful gaze with misty eyes.

  “We say yes.”

  Epilogue

  Thanksgiving morning, Amanda was in the Sawyers’ kitchen giving Aidan his midmorning bottle when she noticed a strange buzzing sound overhead. It kept getting louder, as if a giant wasp was closing in on the farm.

  “No way!” Kyle yelled, racing in from the living room where he and Emily had been watching the parade on TV. She was close on his heels, and Marianne was only a couple of steps behind them.

  As the screen door slammed behind them, through the window Amanda saw a maroon-and-white biplane zooming along, about ten feet off the ground. When she thought for sure it would crash into the tall equipment barn, the plane climbed into the sky and did an impossible loop.

  John came out of the pantry with two huge platters. Setting them on the counter, he chuckled. “That’s Ridge for you. Always full of surprises.”

  “He didn’t tell anyone he was flying the plane home today?” she asked, easing the bottle back when she noticed Aidan was fast asleep.

  “Nope, not even Kyle. Marianne used to hate that, but I guess she doesn’t mind it so much anymore.”

  “Ridge kind of grows on people,” Caty agreed as she got Hailey some animal crackers from the jar on the counter.

  The mention of his best friend’s charm made Matt snort good-naturedly. “Yeah, like fungus. No matter how hard you try, you can’t get rid of him.”

  John and Seth had their heads together over some large papers spread out over the table, and Lisa leaned in to see what they were doing. “This looks good. Three bedrooms upstairs, with a bathroom. The lower level will be nice, wide-open living space.”

  “Listen to Mrs. HGTV over there,” John teased Seth. “How do you live with that?”

  “Pretty easy.”

  Although he spoke to John, Seth’s smile was directed at his wife, who rewarded him with a peck on the cheek on her way to the fridge. It had taken a while, but Amanda was finally accustomed to the chaotic energy that filled every inch of the Sawyer farm. The house and barns, the fields surrounding them, even the sky, she thought as Ridge’s beloved Ann Marie buzzed overhead.

  It was crazy, but happy. And she thanked God for making her part of it.

  “This looks bigger than what you have now,” Amanda commented while she assessed the blueprints. “Are you sure this will all fit?”

  John traded a grin with his brother-in-law. “Sure, we’re sure. We’re expanding it.” Pointing to one side, he explained, “We’ll blow out this wall and double the size of the house on both levels. That’ll give us a huge great room and a nice, big office for you. With the way CPR is growing, you’re gonna need it.”

  “Are those French doors on my office?”

  “Yes, ma’am. You’ll have a view of the pond while you’re working.”

  He was so excited, she hated to rain on his insane parade. But someone had to be practical, and it appeared that she was elected. “This kind of project is way beyond what you and Seth can do yourselves, so we’re going to need an actual construction crew. How are we paying for all this?”

  Sitting next to her, John leaned in for a quick kiss. “Dad left me some money, and I still have it. I never felt right about spending it before, but I think he’d be happy if I used it to spruce up the carriage house.”

  Not even a hint of sorrow dimmed the enthusiasm shining in his eyes, and she was thrilled to see it. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Cool.” When he noticed the list she’d been making, he gently bumped shoulders with her. “How many wedding guests are we talking about?”

  “Sixty. Since it’s December tenth, Danielle Benton said she can make our cake before she gets too busy with her Christmas orders. I wanted to pay for it, but she wants it to be her wedding gift to us.”

  “That’s fantastic. I had a blast sampling her latest batch of inventions.”

  Amanda slanted him a suspicious look, and he held up his hands innocently. “Never dated her. Honest.”

  “One of the few,” she teased. “You should probably write them all down so I know who to watch out for after we’re married.”

  “You’re still sure you want to do it so soon?”

  “Definitely.” It had been her idea not to wait, and she hadn’t changed her mind. If anything, she was more eager now that she’d seen the designs for their house.

  While she and John debated chocolate, vanilla or marble cake, the Collinses came trooping inside, with a panting Tucker close behind.

  “Crazy Lab.” Holding Emily in his arms, Ridge reached down to ruffle the dog’s floppy ears. “He chased me all the way in from the woodlot. I think he’s as excited about seeing Ann Marie in the air as we are.”

  “She’s beautiful, Daddy,” Emily announced. “The colors I picked look very pretty up in the sky.”

  “When I’m grown-up, you can teach me to fly her,” Kyle said confidently. “And then I’ll teach Drew and A
idan when they’re old enough.”

  “More pilots in the family,” Marianne groaned, her fond smile easing the complaint. “Just what we need.”

  But Amanda had latched on to Kyle’s offer. “You’re going to teach Aidan?”

  “Sure.” He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “He’s my cousin just like Hailey, so I’ll watch out for him.”

  “Me, too,” Emily promised eagerly. “We’ll take care of all the younger kids. That’s what families do.”

  That’s what families do.

  Sweet and simple, Amanda saw that sentiment reflected in the nods and smiles that rippled through the diverse group clustered around the table. More than a piece of furniture, she recalled John telling her, it had been in that spot since the 1850s. Tradition and history—that’s what the Sawyers had, what had always been missing from her own life.

  Until now.

  Because in asking her to be his wife, John had made both her and Aidan part of this amazing family. Even with all the baubles and fancy jewelry she’d once owned, no one had ever offered her something so precious.

  Her soon-to-be-husband nudged her elbow. “Earth to Amanda.”

  “Sorry.” She covered her embarrassment with a smile. “What?”

  “What do you think of our ideas?” he asked, nodding at the plans.

  Shifting Aidan so he was cuddled between them, she leaned against John with a contented sigh. “I think it’s the perfect place for a family.”

  “Me, too,” he answered, standing as a strange car pulled up outside.

  When he held an arm out for her, she shook her head. “Aidan just fell asleep. I’m not moving for a couple of hours.”