Never Leave a Rockstar (Never Trust Book 4)

by Sarah Darlington

  “I don’t care about my boat.” I lay my head back on my seat, closing my eyes. “It can sink to the bottom of the fucking ocean for all I care.”

  Michelle was quiet after that. In the past, I hadn’t always been the kindest to her. I took a lot of my frustrations out on her and that wasn’t fair. “But thanks for trying to cheer me up,” I added. From now on, I’d try to be less miserable to her. It was the least I could do.

  At the airport, in the overnight parking, I found my car waiting for me. I let Michelle drive since my vision was beginning to blur. I was so damn tired. I hadn’t been able to sleep in the Radisson’s giant, perfectly cozy bed. Sleeping alone felt weird somehow.

  Michelle seemed uneasy driving a manual, but she managed. She drove us straight to Caleb’s house. His big, enormous, I’m-a-fucking-Rock-God house. Without saying another word to Michelle, I exited the car. Then I pushed open Caleb’s front door, banging it against the wall. I heard voices echoing from his living room, so I went straight there. Dani and Caleb were there. Just them.

  “Where’s Luke?” I asked.

  “He’s late.”

  Caleb glanced at me briefly, but made no comment about my appearance. I was tanner than I’d ever been. And thinner. But he didn’t seem to notice. “I think Luke is going to want out,” he was saying to Dani. “Now that he’s with Rebecca. Now that he has a family. I just know he’s going to choose them over this lifestyle. I hardly blame him. But I don’t want this to end. Not like this, ya know?”

  “Oh, hell no,” Dani agreed. “He’s not quitting. We can adapt. We can adjust. We can start having easier concert schedules. Take longer periods off between albums. Maybe we should all just up and move to North Carolina now.”

  “Move to North Carolina? What the fuck?” I asked, butting into the conversation. “Why would you even suggest that?”

  “I got married,” Dani said proudly. She held up her hand with a huge diamond on her ring finger. “In Vegas. John and I got married.”

  Good lord, help me. John, just like Emma and Luce, was also from the same Kill Devil Hills town. Was everyone but me dating someone from there?

  “I’m not fucking moving to North Carolina,” I protested. The rest of them could go if they wanted. But I wasn’t going to move closer to Luce if she wanted nothing to do with me. I wouldn’t torture myself like that.

  Just then my oldest brother walked in with his girlfriend, Rebecca. Immediately Luke and Caleb started to argue about Rebecca being here. Apparently, this was a band members only meeting. Their voices were like nails on chalkboards. I could barely focus. And, seriously, not one of them had noticed I’d been missing for a week.

  When there was a break in the conversation, I muttered, “So how is this going to work? Is it a vote? Yes—the band stays together. Or no—we end it.”

  “We can’t vote,” Dani said. “It has to be an all or nothing thing.”

  “Well, if it’s that simple,” I decided. “Then I’m out. My answer is no.”

  I left. I walked out of the living room, away from the conversation. I was done. Done with all this bullshit. I hadn’t been happy in a long time, I realized. The only time I’d felt a resemblance of happiness was on the island, starving to death, puking my guts, away from the world, with Luce.

  That spoke volumes.

  I reached my car, climbing inside. But surprisingly, someone followed. Luke’s girlfriend Rebecca jumped into the passenger seat beside me.

  I grabbed my chest.

  “Holy shit, you scared me.”

  “What was that about?” Rebecca demanded.

  “Nothing.”

  “What are you doing quitting the band? You love it more than any of them.”

  “A couple months back—Emma said it best. I’m easily replaceable. The guys can go on without me if they want.”

  “No they can’t. They need you more than you know. You’re the energy that keeps everyone going. You were always the first one on the bus. The guy up at six in the morning, knocking on doors, no matter how late you partied. The one who could tune out everything else and just play when it was time to play. What happened since Christmas? How can I help?”

  I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, thinking only of Luce. “I fucked up.” I wasn’t enough for her.

  “Well, quitting the band doesn’t seem like the solution for anything.”

  “I don’t think you get it, Rebecca. If I went missing, would anyone even notice?”

  I sighed, dropping my head against the steering wheel. Suddenly Luke was right there, too. This felt some kind of intervention. He tugged on the door handle, opening the door next to Rebecca. He dipped his head inside the car. “Come back in the house, Ollie.”

  “I know you want to be with your family more now.” He had his son to be home for. “So why the fuck do you care if I quit?”

  “We all need to come up with a solution together. There has to be better way that just ending everything.”

  “Ollie.” Rebecca touched my arm. “We’re here for you. If you want to come live with us, while you figure out whatever is going on with you, you can.”

  “Seriously?”

  “We’re serious,” Luke agreed, shocking the shit out of me. “You’re my brother. You’re always welcome.”

  “You hate me.”

  “I don’t hate you. You annoy me sometimes. But I don’t hate you.”

  I think he meant it. He genuinely seemed like he wanted me at his house. “Fine. Yes. I’d like to stay with you guys for a little while. I don’t think I can be alone with myself right now.”

  Really, I think I needed this.

  ~ CHAPTER 24 ~

  LUCE

  “Where have you been?” Rhett asked. He didn’t look worried, only annoyed with me. “The new girl covered four of your shifts this past week. I thought you’d be gone only the weekend. Not a full week.”

  I was back at work, dressed in my uniform and ready to resume my old life like nothing with Ollie had ever happened. But one minute in the door, and my heart wasn’t in it. Not by miles. I felt like I was walking around with a weight on my shoulders. I hadn’t told a single person the truth—that I’d been abandoned on a deserted island. I felt like if I told someone, it would somehow tarnish the time I’d spent with Ollie. And dammit, if I wasn’t holding onto that with all my might, like it was the last piece I had of him. It didn’t help that Rhett, who was supposed to be my friend, was being an ass.

  Plus, why the hell wasn’t he on his honeymoon?

  “I ended up staying longer.”

  “Okay. Fine. I get it. But I need to know you’re going to be here this next week. Sydney and I are leaving for the Bahamas on Monday for our honeymoon. We decided to postpone.”

  What were the odds? Of all places, he was going on his honeymoon to the Bahamas. And that was when it hit me—I didn’t care. I was staring straight at him, looking at his handsome face, and I simply didn’t care. I didn’t feel jealous or wish it was me in Sydney’s place going on that honeymoon. There was another place I wanted to be instead.

  I started untying my apron, clarity hitting me.

  I couldn’t work here anymore. It just wasn’t appropriate any longer. It was time to move on. A whole different life could be there for me. I just had to be brave enough to take it.

  “I feel really shitty because I’m about to leave you short-handed days before your vacation. But I quit.”

  “What?”

  “I can’t do this anymore. Life’s too short to not take chances. I might have breast cancer right now, as we speak, for fuck’s sake, and I can’t spend another second stuck here. I gotta go.”

  I set my apron down on the bar top. I moved closer to Rhett, who had his hands on his hips, clearly stunned. I hugged him. He’d always have a small piece of my heart; he’d always be one of my favorite people and best friends. But if I stayed, I’d never work up the courage to leave. I’d forever be in this one-sided relationship with him that I’
d imagined all these years.

  I walked away before guilt had a chance to sink in. I left Chancy’s Claw, a place I’d given a decade of my life to, and I went straight for my car.

  I climbed inside, slamming the door, and I started to drive. Nashville was only eight hours away. I’d mapped it this morning on our family computer. I’d printed out directions since I didn’t have a cell phone. I hadn’t realized I’d seriously follow through with such a crazy idea until right this second.

  I only hoped Ollie would want to see me when I reached him.

  ~ CHAPTER 25 ~

  OLIVER

  I had the sofa bed pulled out. Pajamas on. An empty pizza box on the floor. I’d brought my old PlayStation over from my mom’s house. And I’d just cracked something like my eleventh beer of the night when I heard footsteps coming down Luke’s stairs. It was probably Rebecca coming down to check on me again, so I didn’t bother moving from the cocoon of covers I had going on.

  I figured I’d stay down here until at least June. Or until Luke got sick of me and decided to kick me out—whichever came first. It was just dark enough, and I was just drunk enough, that for a moment Rebecca looked a lot like Luce.

  On second glance...

  Holy shit! It was Luce!

  Right? I wasn’t dreaming this. She was here. In the flesh. In Luke’s house. I sat up too fast, spilling beer all down my front. I was not prepared or sober enough for this.

  “Shit,” I muttered. My heart raced right out of my chest. What was she doing here?

  She moved closer and hesitantly sat down next to me on the bed. Oh God, she looked good. In her leather jacket and black jeans. Her short blonde hair was clean and curled, tucked behind her ears. Her blue eyes were rimmed in black, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She’d never looked so goddamned gorgeous before, and I had beer on my pajamas. My stomach started swirling and my nerves were making my hands tremble.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I came to see you. I don’t like how I left things.”

  “Okay…” I didn’t know even what her question would be, if there was even a question there at all, but my answer was going to be yes to whatever she wanted. I could already feel it screaming under my skin. “How would you like to leave things instead?”

  “I don’t want to leave things at all, actually.” She pulled her legs under her and sat cross-legged on the bed. “I’m not sure where you’re at now. If you’re already over us... over me, I mean. But I got back to North Carolina, and you were all I could think about. Your smile was all I could think about. It might be the greatest thing, you know that right?”

  I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that at all. I’d had a lot to drink tonight, but what I was hearing Luce say was pretty damn sobering. Funny how a brain could clear like that when you needed it most. This might just be the most important conversation of my life. “I didn’t know you liked my smile that much.”

  “I do,” she whispered, “and I got scared.”

  “Are you not scared now?”

  “No, I’m terrified still. But I’m more afraid of losing you. I’ve never felt something quite as real as what I feel with you.” She stared at me with such vulnerability in her eyes. She touched my arm for a second but then immediately pulled back. I couldn’t deny how great that one single touch felt. I couldn’t deny how happy I was to see her sitting here, in this dingy basement, so close to me.

  I was hers.

  I saw now that she didn’t already know that. She was waiting on me to say anything, when to me I was so obviously already hers.

  “I want to try,” she admitted, staring down at her hands. “Do you want that at all? Or should I go?”

  I touched her chin, so she looked up at me instead of at her hands. Her eyes met mine. I loved seeing her like this. Not the sadness, I hated that part, I’d fix that part in a second, but the honesty. That was all I’d ever wanted—for her to open up and let me in.

  “I want that,” I told her. “I want you.”

  The smile that began to tug at the corners of her mouth, warmed me all over. I got to my knees. I took her face in my hands and hovered close to her. I closed my eyes and let the moment sink in.

  She came back for me.

  She fucking came back.

  I pressed my lips to hers. She felt so damn good, so soft against my mouth, so right. She smelled like the cold air. I kissed her and kept kissing her. The whole time, I couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t stop inhaling her scent into my lungs.

  I pushed her down against my covers. “I’m so fucking happy,” I said, feeling the alcohol in my veins now. She laughed for a second as I kept playfully kissing her. When I released her, the room was spinning. I sat up, pulling away when all I wanted was to keep kissing her.

  “I’m drunk,” I confessed.

  “I can tell.” She stared up at me from my nest of covers.

  “I haven’t slept since I was with you on the island. It’s been two days. I, um...” I pinched my eyes shut. “I got used to sleeping next to you. Your head on my chest. Or your body safe between my legs. And I wasn’t letting myself fall asleep without you.”

  Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that. She probably thought I was crazy as hell now.

  She moved, sitting up. She peeled off her jacket, kicked off her shoes, and shimmed out of her tight jeans. “There. Let’s sleep then.”

  Oh fuck.

  I’d probably never sleep again.

  ~ CHAPTER 26 ~

  OLIVER

  I woke up with that same bad feeling. It was the ‘where-the-fuck-am-I, who-did-I-fuck-last-night, how-fast-can-I-get-the-hell-out-of-here’ kind of a feeling I often woke with. It was always fun and games until the morning after—when I usually hated myself so much, it made me want to vomit.

  I blinked up at a ceiling made of wooden beams, as the woman beside me shifted.

  Just then a flood of realization and memories washed over me. It wasn’t a ‘what the fuck’ moment. It was Luce. She’d driven to Tennessee last night. She came to me. I wasn’t in some stranger’s bed after drinking and partying too much. It was her, and I’d never felt more relieved. More grateful that I wasn’t waking up to another mistake.

  “You,” I said, brushing her hair out of her face, staring into her amazing, blue-as-Caribbean-waters eyes. “You...”

  I could not stop smiling. I did not come close to smiling like this even with the first girl who had ever spent the night in my bed. What was it about her that made me want to change my whole life? Because I was really starting to warm to the idea of something entirely different for myself.

  “Were you expecting someone else?”

  “No. Not at all.” I moved to my side, pulling her body closer, running a hand up her soft thigh, over the curve of her hip. She had only her underwear on. I got used to her in a bikini on the island, but somehow this felt so much closer to naked. I could get lost in her. It would take absolutely zero effort to tear away her panties and lose myself inside her. I cleared my throat, trying my damnedest to keep focused. “What do you want to do today?”

  “Besides you?”

  Heat spread across my skin. “Besides me,” I muttered. For the first time in my life, I was trying to keep myself on the straight and narrow. Because I couldn’t fuck this up. And I felt like fucking her would fuck this up.

  “I left without anything,” she explained. “I quit my job. I just got in the car and started driving. I didn’t even bring a change of clothes. Or a phone. Mine is still either on your boat or at the bottom of the ocean. So I kind of need to work on fixing all that today.”

  Good. A distraction. I sat up.

  I thought I had everything under control until she moved too, and wrapped her arms around me. She brushed the tips of her fingers under my shirt, across my abs, exploring. This was new. She’d never once done anything like this before. For a small second, I was at her mercy. Frozen under her touch. All the blood in my body rushed south, making my c
ock swell with this singular touch.

  But I found some buried resistance, and I clung to it. “Let’s go buy some shit.” I stood up, out of her grip. I found her jeans on the floor and tossed them to her. “Here’s your pants. I’ll be upstairs showering. I have to use Luke’s shower. They only have one shower. So get ready while I get ready. Meet you in the living room in about ten minutes then.”

  With a pounding heart, I slipped away before I gave in and jumped back in bed with her.

  ~ CHAPTER 27 ~

  LUCE

  For whatever reason, Ollie seemed to be avoiding having sex with me. Ironically, I’d never wanted him more. Last night, when I came to him and told him how I felt, when he told me how he felt, I’d never felt so connected with someone. We’d fallen asleep in the sheets, tangled all together, and it had to be the greatest thing.

  This morning, I felt like I was burning up wanting him. Because... damn... he was sexy in the morning. Soft stubble on his face. His hair an adorable mess. And the way he kept easily smiling with me—of course, I wanted to find out what plenty of women already knew.

  But he seemed distracted.

  I finished getting dressed and ventured upstairs. His brother Luke had the cutest log cabin. It was small but cozy. He had a son, and the reminders of his son were scattered all around his house. I expected to find his girlfriend Rebecca home. But she wasn’t. Just Ollie, freshly showered, and waiting for me in the living room.

  He smelled intoxicating, even from across the room. He looked even better. His hair styled. His face shaved. I checked his Instagram account for the first time yesterday. Fuck, he was a beautiful man. Each image more amazing than the last. He had over ten million followers. How crazy was that?