Truth or Lies

by JA Johnston

  Dan is drying my eyes with tissues. “There you are.” He smiles gently at me. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  He looks at me expectantly. “We need some fresh air. How about we go for a walk in the park?” He pulls me up and we walk towards the door. I let Chloe know where we’re going.

  Dan holds my hand as we walk along the path, “I’m listening when you’re ready to talk.”

  We walked down to the waterfront. There’s a wide paved path that runs along the five-mile front. There are many who come here to walk, jog, or to simply talk. It’s a very calming place with the ocean sounds and the beauty of the cherry blossoms when they are in bloom. But it’s fall, so there are no cherry blossoms. There are some joggers and mothers pushing strollers.

  “I know.” I sigh, it’s stupid really, to keep this in. “We went out to dinner with Adam, Ben, and Alex.” I stop and look at Dan, “I find Adam attractive!” I blurt out.

  Dan chuckles. “Um, okay. But, how does that cause a panic attack?”

  “I don’t know. I feel guilty. I feel like I’m cheating on Lucas.” I squeeze my eyes shut, “What if Lucas leaves me?”

  Dan is still chuckling. “Mel…” he pauses because he’s chuckling so bad.

  “It’s not funny!”

  “Yes, it actually is.” He adds. “You find him attractive, and you’re probably not the only female to think so.” He shakes his head, “Tell me, did you kiss him? Fantasize about him? Get yourself off on thoughts of him?” he’s grinning.

  “OH, MY GOD! NO! To all of that.” Why would he think that?

  “Then you should not feel guilty. You did not cheat on Lucas.” Dan is still grinning, but he stops and looks down at me. “You never wanted to date and fall in love. You were scared and I understand why.” He sighs, “So does Lucas.” He’s ready to say something else, but I say…

  “I tripped and fell into Adam’s arms as I was entering the elevator.” I close my eyes and look up, “About a month ago, I didn’t know who he was. He smelled good and made me feel tingly.” I feel so ashamed, but I might as well tell Dan, I don’t think I could tell Lucas this.

  Dan laughs out loud this time. “He smelled good? Oh god!” He’s laughing hard. He rubs his hands up and down my arms, he’s trying to get his laughter under control, but it’s pissing me off. “What is it with you and smells lately?”

  “Dan…”

  “Listen, Mels, you had a physical reaction to someone other than your husband. Do you not think men have the same reaction to women?”

  “I don’t think about that.”

  “You had a panic attack because you found someone other than your husband attractive.” He kisses my head, “I love you Mels, don’t ever change.” He picks up my hand and we begin walking back.

  “Lucas already knows that I found Adam attractive. He asked me the other night, after dinner.” I sigh.

  “And?”

  “And he laughed it off once I said yes. But then the other day, for some reason, I thought, what if he hadn’t, what if he left me.” I sigh with a hint of worry. “I know it’s irrational. My emotions are all over the place.”

  Dan chuckles, “That they are. But we still love you.” He squeezes my hand when he says this.

  Since my emotional state is wacky, I cry for random things. I cried at lunch because I told the waiter my food was wrong. Lucas just smiles and says everything’s fine, that once the babies are born, I’ll return to my usual self. I highly doubt that. I have a feeling deep inside that my whole world is going to change. But I am trying not to dwell on that at the moment because I don’t want another panic attack. We’re headed to the doctor’s office for another ultrasound today. We should be able to find out the gender of the babies.

  I’m lying on the table with legs covered by a blanket. The technician has placed a lot of lube on my belly and has been taking measurements for what seems like an hour. She’s been telling us what she’s measuring and what it reads. But so far, she hasn’t told us their genders.

  She just pressed on my abdomen, the babies must not have liked it because there was a huge flip flop. “There we go.” She says smiling. She’s moving all around when she looks at us and says “Baby A is a boy.” She keeps moving, “There it is…baby B is a girl.” She’s smiling at us. “Congratulations Mom and Dad! Both babies look healthy and measuring at 18 weeks 3 days.”

  After the ultrasound, we see the doctor. Everything has been testing well and on my next visit, I should expect a sugar test.

  Wow! My mind is spinning with so many things running in circles that I don’t realize we’re home.

  “You’ve been quiet the entire ride home. Are you okay?” Lucas holds me by sides after he closes the front door.

  “Yeah.” I look up into his eyes. “I don’t know. This is real, it’s really happening.” I’m unsure of what my exact feelings are. “I’m happy, excited and scared out of my mind.” I feel my eyes getting wet.

  “I’m scared too.” he says while rubbing my belly and looking into my eyes. “We’ll figure it out together, and I know we’ll have a lot of help.” He places a kiss on my lips, “My mother and Grams are already deciding who’s staying here with us the first and second week.” He says with wide eyes.

  I smile. I know we are surrounded by a lot of helping hands. “I know, but sometimes, I wish it was just us.” I look into his eyes. “Can we keep this to ourselves for a while; our baby girl and boy?”

  He smiles down at me; “Definitely!”

  Seventeen years, four months

  WHO THE HELL would break into my office? Why would they? I don’t keep cash in here. Whoever it was, left a huge mess. They turned things over, broke anything they could, computers, pictures, chairs, etc...

  “Do you know if anything is missing?”

  Seriously, in this mess! I’ve finally have been allowed into my office, but all I can see is the destruction. “I don’t know.” Is all I can manage.

  Adam, Phillip, and some of the office staff have shown up. “I’m not sure how much help I’ll be in looking, but tell me what I can do?” Adam says.

  I’m standing in this mess just shaking my head. I’m not even sure where to begin. “Amelia, let’s start in your office.” Phillip suggests.

  It’s not been touched! What?! Why?! I walk around my office, I’m trying to take everything in, but I cannot comprehend why outside my office it looks like a bomb went off. I’m lost in my train of thought when Piper enters.

  “What on earth?” she questions.

  I’m at a loss too. “Amelia, can you tell if anything is missing or has been touched or moved in here?”

  Focus. Focus. Looking around my desk, nothing. The walls, nothing. “Can I open my desk drawers?”

  I begin searching the contents of my desk. So far, I see nothing, except. “Adam, didn’t you give me a picture of our hike the other week?”

  “Yes, but I didn’t put it in a frame. I printed it off from my phone.”

  “I placed it in my drawer, here. But I don’t see it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Yes, I’m damned well sure. “I look at it every day, I know this is where I keep it.” I shake my head.

  We’re back at Adam’s condo. “Why would someone want to break into the office? It makes no sense.” I flop down onto the couch and slide my shoes off.

  “Are you sure our picture is missing?” Adam sits beside me and puts his arm around my shoulders.

  I lean my head into him, “Yes. I hadn’t found a frame yet either, but I kept that picture of us in the top drawer. I open it constantly throughout the day to look at you. At us.” I sigh.

  Adam’s head is leaned into mine and I feel him press a kiss to the side of my head. He slides his phone from his pocket to his hand and is looking at it. “Look.” He shows me his locked screen, it’s our picture. “Unlock it.” He says.

  “I don’t know…” but he cuts me off.

  “Yes, you
do.” He kisses my head again.

  I stare at the phone, “four numbers”, he whispers. Our first encounter? Our first date? Those would be too long. I wonder, could he have used ages? I type in eight, one, nine, two. It unlocks.

  “Our birth years?” I look up at him in a sideways stare with a smirk. “You always tease me how much younger I am compared to you.” He just chuckles.

  His background screen is one of just me. I don’t remember him taking it, but I know where it was taken, on his balcony. It’s my profile, looking out at the sunrise holding my mug against my lips. My hair is piled up loosely on top of my head, I’m wearing Adam’s shirt. “When?”

  “This is the first morning that you woke up in my arms, in my bed. The first time you came to my condo, the first time we did not go out to eat or eat for that matter.” He turns me so I can see him, he looks into my eyes; “Our first time together.”

  I feel the moisture pooling in the back of my eyes. I try to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill down my face. I bite my lower lip as I remember that night.

  We had been dating for a month when I finally told Adam what my profession was and he left. Two weeks of no communication, then to find him out that night with another woman who turned out to be his aunt. Our fight in the car. He stayed with me that night, but we still have not had sex. I don’t want just sex with Adam. I want more, that is why I’ve kept holding it off with him. The next morning, he gave me his address and asked me to be there at six pm.

  I knock on the door and wait. I hear the lock click and the sound of knob turning. The door opens to reveal Adam standing there with no shoes, worn jeans, and a ‘Superman’ t-shirt. I smile and giggle at this.

  He smiles, not just any smile. This one reaches his eyes and it reveals a faint glimpse of laugh lines. As quickly as the door opened, he pulls me into his arms and twirls me inside.

  He kicks the door closed and his lips find mine. Our tongues mingle together while his hands grab my bottom and pulls me closer. My hands have found their way into his hair. He moves from my lips to my neck as he pushes me against the wall. His hands cup me below my cheeks, “up” he says. I wrap my legs around his waist.

  I feel his erection pressed against me. Oh, my god, it feels so good! I slide my hands down his neck and push my pelvis forward. We both moan. Adams’ lips find mine again before we begin to slow the kiss. He’s still holding me, my hands still around his neck and his hair. With our foreheads pressed together he looks into my eyes; “Hi” we both say and laugh.

  I slowly unwrap my legs around him as he places me on the floor. I bite my lip while smiling up at him and suppress my giggle. My fingers find the bottom of his shirt and I give a slight tug; “So, you are superman?”

  Adam chuckles and takes my hands into his. He brings them up to his mouth and kisses them; “Only for you.” He entwines his left hand into my right as we walk further into his condo. He gives me a tour.

  It’s about the same size as my apartment. “I thought it would be bigger.” I say out loud. I stare up at him with wide eyes, oh crap, I didn’t mean to say that.

  Adam laughs. “I travel a lot and it’s just me.” He shrugs, “It’s not where I want to be forever.” He states while looking at me in a very warm tender way that makes me warm and tingly inside.

  I squeeze his hand. “I love it.”

  He pulls me towards the end of the hall and we enter the last room. His bedroom. My heart speeds up. The bed is a metal bedframe, styled like a sleigh bed. He has white bedding, a white quilt with accent pillows.

  “White?” is all I manage to say, more like a question. I’ve never been in another man’s bedroom, except for Alex and his was all dark. So, this… surprises me.

  I can tell when he’s talking that he’s smiling standing behind me, “My mother picked the bedding out. I had a black blanket, which apparently is not a correct way to sleep according to her.” He shrugged his shoulders as he came to stand beside me. “So, I gave her the keys to my place and told her to have at it. But I told her that I liked all my furniture and not to add any more pieces. She painted, added appropriate bedding” he says while adding quotation marks in the air. Smiling, “she made it feel homier.” He looks around, “Honestly if she hadn’t done this, I probably would be spending more time at the office or away.”

  “Do you think she did this to keep you home more?” I ask teasingly.

  “Probably” he replies grinning. “It worked too! The last year, I’ve been home more.”

  “Then I am very glad she decorated.” I take his hand. “It doesn’t look feminine.” I add.

  “Ah, no it doesn’t. That was another one of my stipulations, I didn’t want it to look like a woman lived here.”

  “Why?”

  “To be honest, I don’t know. I just wanted simple, nothing complicated.” He looks down at our joined hands, “But if you don’t like it, I can change it.”

  I’m shocked by that. I can change it if I don’t like it. “Complicated?” Am I complicated?

  “That’s how I’ve always wanted to live, without complications.” He looks into my eyes, “But I’ve discovered recently that there is one complication that I really like. It took me a few hours to realize it.” He squeezes my hand and takes my other hand into his. We are now facing each other.

  “That day when you told me you were an escort or former escort.” He states and shakes his head, “I didn’t handle that well. I didn’t want to think about all the men you’ve been with, what you did or did not do with them.” He sighs, “I came home and thought about my past relationships. I’ve never committed to just one woman, so I was no better in not telling you how many women I’ve been with.” He looks remorseful, but continues talking; “I don’t want to know everyone or everything, just as I know you wouldn’t want to know. I just don’t want to share you with anyone else.”

  “You wouldn’t share me; I do not have any more clients. I had already made that decision by our first date. Which honestly, was not even because of you.” I shrug my shoulders, “I was feeling as if some of my clients felt that I was more to them.” Alex. “I never wanted to be in a relationship.”

  “And yet, we are.” Adam says softly.

  “Yes, we are. I’m scared about this. I didn’t have the best role models for relationships. What I saw growing up,” I shake my head, “I don’t want that. That’s why being an escort I was able to pretend to be in a relationship but not be in it.” I’m not sure if that made sense. “The way I feel around you Adam, I like it. A lot!”

  He pulls me closer to me, “I like it a lot too!”

  He leans his head down and kisses me. His hands slide down my side as I run my hands up his arms, over his shoulders. His hands are on my lower back, he breaks the kiss briefly, “I want you, Amelia.” He says softly.

  God, I want him too. I can already feel the warmth of desire building inside me. “And I want you, Adam.”

  I feel the back of my shirt slide up my body. I reluctantly remove my arms from around Adam, as he takes my shirt off. Once my shirt is removed I rest my hands on his chest. I slowly glide them down the front of his shirt while staring into his eyes. Once I get to the hemline, I slide my hands under, while his shirt rides up my forearms. This is the first time I’m feeling his bare chest. Adam raises his arms and pulls his shirt from the back, completely off. My god, this is the first time I’m seeing him without his shirt. My hands are roaming his lean muscular torso and chest. I run my fingers up and through his chest hair. I slide my hands over his shoulders slowly descending his muscular arms.

  His hands are resting on my arms. He slowly glides his hands behind my back as he pulls me into him. I feel him unclasp my bra as he kisses me. His kiss glides down my neck as he brings the straps of my bra down my arms, then it lands at our feet when he leans his torso back a little, never breaking his kiss on my neck. He bends his body towards mine, leaning me back, as his kisses descend over my shoulder down my chest to my breasts.


  He takes my right breast into the palm of his hand as his mouth encases my nipple. He lightly sucks and runs his tongue around my nipple bringing it to a stiff peak. I run my fingers through the top of his hair and rest my hand on the back of his head. He releases my nipple, then begins his exploration to my left nipple as he repeats his ministration to my left breast.

  He un-cups my breast and slides his hand down my stomach. He slips two fingers under the waist of my jeans and slides his fingers over to the button. He unfastens it easily and unzips me. He slides his hand down into my pants when he reaches my mound, he stills. “You’re not wearing underwear.” He states after releasing my nipple and looking into my eyes.

  “Not with pants, I don’t.” I answer breathlessly.

  He groans as he reclaims my mouth and slides a finger through my slit. I feel a tremor of heat spread through my body and a throbbing where he now has his hand, rubbing slowly. He removes his hand and now has both of his hands on either side of my waistband. He gently slides my jeans down, as his kisses descend the front of me.

  With my jeans around my knees, Adam on his knees, he’s eye level with my navel. He looks up into my eyes as his hands caress my buttocks and hips. He places soft small kisses low on my navel, moving down, down, down. I watch as he closes his eyes and inhales my scent, then I feel his tongue. His hands are now holding me open so he can taste me. “I need more Amelia.” He states as he suddenly stands and picks me up.

  Adam lays me down sideways on the bed. He glides his hands down the back of my thighs, to the heel of my boots, where he easily removes both at the same time. With a smile, he reaches up and pulls my jeans off. Here I am, on full display in front of him. His eyes are taking in every inch of my body. “You are so beautiful.” He says as he falls to his knees in front of my legs.

  He pulls my legs by the knees so I am closer to the edge of the bed. He spreads my legs open and places each leg over his shoulder. Again, he leans in and inhales, then his hands are there spreading me open for him. His mouth is on my clit, I feel his tongue making circles over and over, back and forth.