Sally Wentworth - Yesterday's Affair

by Sally Wentworth

  Nick had nothing to say about that. He became intent on his flying as they carried on along the Slad valley in the other direction, over a dozen pretty villages that Olivia promised herself to visit the next day, but sadly knew that she'd never have time to do them all. Some twenty minutes later, when they left the valley, Nick said, 'Avebury and Stonehenge?'

  'Please.'

  He nodded, and headed south.

  The two ancient stone circles were another treat that Olivia had saved for a sunny day. They went to Avebury, the nearer of the two, first, and Olivia was amazed to find the stone circle so large that a village had been built in the middle. They landed and walked first to an old barn converted into a quaint restaurant.

  Nick looked inside and said, 'Are you sure you want to eat here? They do food at the pub.'

  'Yes, I'm sure. This will make a change.'

  They had soup and a salad, then Olivia set off to walk round the circle alone. The stones weren't terribly large and a great many of them had been lost or buried since they were set up in the early Bronze Age, but there were painted maps on posts at intervals telling you all about them. She tried to lose herself in them, to feel the spirit of the place, but the village was too close, the stones too worn; she couldn't conjure up any mental pictures of the men who had erected them. Hands in pockets, Olivia strolled back to the village and was seduced into going round the local manor house to look at the furniture and porcelain of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries instead. Returning to the chopper, she was attracted by the windows of a gift shop, and came out some twenty minutes later having bought a water-divining kit.

  Nick was sitting on the ground under a tree, a little distance from the chopper, his open briefcase beside him. But he was reading a book.

  'I thought you said you had work to do?' Olivia chided, dropping down beside him.

  'You've been so long that I've finished it.'

  'What are you reading?' She leant across him to look at the tide. Cider with Rosie't Haven't you ever read it before?'

  'Of course. I just thought that today would be a good time to read it again. What's that you've got?'

  'It's a water-diviner. It seems that you just have to hold it and if there's water under the ground it will shake like mad.'

  'And just what use do you think you're going to make of that in New York? Somehow I don't think it's capable of working through solid concrete.'

  Olivia wrinkled her nose at him. 'Don't be such a spoilsport. Come on, let's have a go.' She took the kit, a piece of wood which opened out into two short branches, from the packet and began to walk around, holding it pointed at the ground.

  'You've got to have a natural talent for it. You've either got it or you haven't,' Nick informed her.

  'So I'm about to find out.'

  Nick watched her for a few more minutes, then said, 'You're doing it all wrong. Hold it level and wait for it to dip.'

  'Nothing's happening. Perhaps there isn't any water near here.'

  'You're not holding it right.'

  'OK, know-all, come and show me how,' Olivia returned exasperatedly.

  Getting to his feet, Nick came over and took it from her. 'Hold it like this.' He put his hands under the two branches of the twig instead of on top. 'Now you try.'

  Olivia did as he'd shown her, but, still not satisfied, Nick came behind her and reached round to put his hands over hers. 'Like this.'

  They walked together for several yards when the twig suddenly began to shake violently and dip towards the ground.

  'It works! Wow, it works. We've found water!' She was thrilled with excitement and for a moment didn't realise that Nick was shaking with suppressed mirth. Then she let go of the twig and turned suddenly within the circle of his arms to see the laughter in his face. 'You louse! You made it shake.' She thumped him on the chest. 'I really thought I'd got the talent, that I'd made it go.'

  Nick was openly laughing. 'You may have many talents, my sweet, but water-divining definitely isn't one of them.'

  Her hands resting on his chest, Olivia looked up at him. Her voice suddenly husky, she said, 'What talents had you in mind?'

  The laughter faded from Nick's face as he gazed down at her. Dropping the diviner, he put his hands up to cover hers, his eyes darkening with desire. For a moment, for a glorious, wonderful moment, she thought that he was going to kiss her as his hands tightened. But then he roughly thrust her away. Unbalanced, Olivia stepped back and felt something crack beneath her foot. She turned, glad of the excuse, letting her hair fall and hide her face. She'd trodden on the diviner.

  'Oh, it's broken.' She bent to pick it up.

  'It's my fault, I'm sorry. I'll buy you another,' Nick said harshly, his voice charged with tension.

  'Don't be silly. It was only a toy.' She threw the broken twig into a hedge. 'What's the time? Hadn't we better get going?'

  They walked back to the chopper in silence. Nick shooed away some village children who'd come to take a closer look and they flew off again.

  The light was bright and they were both wearing sunglasses. Which of us is hiding? Olivia thought miserably. Probably both of us. But at least he had teased her and they'd laughed together. And she ought to have known he'd push her away—one step forward, one push back. She gazed out of the windscreen, apparently absorbed in the scenery, but too full of her own thoughts to notice anything until they reached Stonehenge.

  It was set almost in the centre of what must once have been a huge open plain, bisected now by roads. The great standing stones, much more impressive than those at Avebury, were massive in size and better preserved. Olivia had arranged her visit in advance, and a young man in uniform came to meet them. He brightened perceptibly when he took in Olivia's attractive face and figure.

  'Welcome to Stonehenge. You're in luck; most of the tourists have left for the day, so we'll have it almost to ourselves.'

  He took her on a very leisurely tour, enjoying having a pretty girl to air his knowledge to. Olivia didn't mind if it meant that she got more information, but she moved away after he'd put his hand on her arm a few times to draw her towards particular stones. 'Where are you staying?' he asked her, obviously leading up to making a pass.

  'In Stratford-upon-Avon—with my boyfriend. He's the one flying the chopper.'

  That message got through and her guide soon found that he had to get back to his office. Left on her own, Olivia wandered, able now to feel the spirit of the place, to hear the voice of history. She sat on a slight mound, looking back at the stones as they cast long shadows in the late afternoon sunlight. The story the guide had told her, of thousands of men struggling to bring the huge monoliths here by land and sea, to erect them and top than with massive lintels to form this giant circle in this vast open plain, filled her mind with awe. If she closed her eyes she could almost see than, driven by the same religious fervour to build huge temples to their gods that had also driven the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans, and even the Incas in far away South America. Like ants they had laboured and like ants they had been forgotten, but their temple still stood for modern man to gaze and wonder at.

  It made Olivia feel very small, her problems insignificant. What the hell did she matter in the general scheme of things? So what if the man she loved had ditched her? There was no one in the world to care. Olivia wasn't the crying type; even when Nick had left her she hadn't cried, because she'd thought it was all a mistake and would soon be sorted out, and she'd had hope then, of course. But now, stupidly, tears began to flow down her cheeks. She couldn't stop them so she let than fall, and sat quietly, her hands clasped round her knees.

  'Olivia?' Nick had walked silently over and gave an exclamation of dismay when he saw that she was crying. I Topping down to his knees, he put an arm round her. 'Oh, don't! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but please don't cry.'

  'I can't—I can't help it.' She opened her eyes to find Nick gazing at her in raw, tortured pain.

  'For pity's sake, Olivia, please stop. I can'
t bear to see you cry.'

  'You can't bear it!' Suddenly, gloriously, she was full of surging anger. 'Good grief, you don't think I'm crying because of you, do you?' She jumped to her feet, shoving Nick aside so roughly that he almost overbalanced. 'I've never cried over you!'

  She began to stride away from him, but he quickly came after her and caught her arm. His eyes searching her face suspiciously, he asked, 'Then just why are you crying?'

  'Because of that.' She flung out her free arm to point at Stonehenge. 'Because it's so beautiful in the evening light. Because it's so old.'

  'And that makes you cry as if your heart is breaking?' Nick said disbelievingly.

  'Yes! Looking at it, it makes you realise just how unimportant you are. And how—how pointless it all is,' she finished on a bitter note.

  'What's pointless?'

  She turned to glare at him, the sun catching her hair, touching it with flame. 'Life. Love. All the petty little problems. Everything.'

  Afraid of crying again, Olivia tried to pull away from him, but Nick held her fast. 'It isn't like you to let things get to you like this.'

  'How the hell would you know what I'm like?' she retorted violently.

  'Of course I know.'

  'All right, I'll re-phrase it—what the hell do you care what I'm like?' Her voice had risen and she was yelling at him, close to hysteria.

  Nick caught hold of her shoulders and stared tensely into her face. 'Of course I damn well care about you.'

  A shudder ran through her and Olivia gave a great sob. 'Well, you've a crazy way of showing it.'

  He pulled her to him and held her close, his arms comforting by their strength, held her until her trembling eased. Only then did Olivia look up at him, her lashes still wet, her eyes vulnerable, almost afraid. 'Oh, Nick, I've never felt so alone in all my life as I did sitting there.' She groped for words to express her feelings. 'I felt as if I'd lost all hope, lost all the purpose in life.'

  'You let the sadness of the place get to you.'

  Looking over her shoulder at the stones, Olivia said, 'Is it sad?'

  'A ruin is always sad.'

  'Yes, I suppose so. But these stones are triumphant too; don't you feel that?'

  'A triumph of man's endeavour over overwhelming difficulties, you mean?'

  'Yes.' She gave a small laugh. 'That's rather the way I feel, too, at the moment.' He went to let her go at that, but she put her arms round his neck. 'Please kiss me, Nick.'

  'Olivia.' There was a heavy note of reproach in his voice.

  'You just said that you care for me.'

  'Care about you,' he corrected.

  'It's the same thing.'

  'No, it-'

  But Olivia impatiently reached up to put a hand on either side of his head and kiss him.

  For a few seconds he resisted her. He gave a groan of protest and reached up to grab her arms and pull them down, but she clung to him, her mouth avidly seeking his. Nick groaned again, but now it was on an entirely different note as he suddenly put his arms around her and held her close against him. And then it was he who took over, who bent her against his length so that she could feel his body harden with need, who took her mouth in fierce, starved passion. Olivia gave a cry of infinite gratitude and surrendered completely to his male dominance, letting herself drown in the wonder of being back in his arms, of the glory of his lips as she opened her mouth under the onslaught of his. The yearning ache of need, that was never far away, rose to engulf her, burning like a flame, searing through her veins.

  She moaned under his mouth, pressed her hips in agonising longing against his, driving him frantic. 'Oh, Nick, Nick. It's been so long.'

  He put a hand low on her waist and threw back his head, giving a hoarse cry of rising excitement. But then Nick was kissing her again with feverish savagery, raining kisses on her eyes, her throat, his breath coming in short, gasping moans, his hand clumsy at her breast.

  'My darling, my love.' Olivia returned his kisses ardently, almost fiercely, oblivious to everything except his closeness. 'Oh, Nick, honey, I love you so much, so much.'

  Her eyes were closed, and Olivia was completely unprepared when Nick suddenly gripped her shoulders and pushed her away from him. She gazed at him uncomprehendingly, sagging in his hold, her eyes alight with radiant love and desire.

  'Oh, hell! Oh, hell, no.' Nick ground out the words, his face dark and tormented. Abruptly letting her go, he turned and strode away.

  Off balance, Olivia staggered and almost fell, but then she was running after him, reaching out to catch his arm. 'Nick, wait! What is it? What's the matter?'

  'Go home, Olivia. For God's sake go home.'

  'No! What are you talking about? Nick, stop.'

  But he went charging on, making her run to keep up with him. His face was working with emotion, his eyes agonised, but his jaw was thrust forward in fierce determination.

  Running in front of him, Olivia held her firms out and made him stop. She stood panting, trying to get back her breath, searching his face. 'Why do you want me to go home? What was so wrong in wanting to kiss you? What did I do?'

  'It wasn't your fault, it was mine. I should never have—' Nick broke off, shaking his head, unable to go on. Tentatively, Olivia put a hand on his arm, gazing at him pleadingly, but then he seemed to make a massive inner effort and he straightened up, his face hard, his raw emotions back under control. 'Go home, Olivia. There's nothing here for you.'

  'It didn't seem like that a minute ago.' She spoke disbelievingly, the urgency of his desire having brought back her confidence.

  'That was—a mistake.'

  She gazed at him, feeling suddenly afraid again. Gropingly she said, 'You know I love you. You know that's why I came here. There—there hasn't been anyone else, Nick. Not since you left.'

  Briefly his eyes came up to meet hers, bleak, angry, sad. 'I have nothing to give you,' he said savagely.

  Taken aback by his violence, Olivia could only say, Hut—all I want is you.'

  Reaching out, he took hold of her shoulders again and gave her an angry shake. 'Why won't you listen to me? You must go back to the States. I don't want you any more.'

  'Yes, you damn well do,' she returned heatedly. 'You Just proved that.'

  A hunted look came into Nick's eyes, but he insisted fiercely, 'You're wrong! I want you out of my life.'

  He began to walk on again, but she ran and caught him up. 'But why? What's changed? Why are you being like this?'

  He kept on walking. 'I have my own life to live—and it doesn't include you. You should never have come here.'

  'But what's happened to you? If something's wrong, why don't you come straight out and tell me?'

  'Nothing's wrong,' he said dismissively.

  'Yes, there darn well is.' She swung him round to face her. 'You can't hide the way you feel about me, Nick, any more than I can hide the way I feel about you. You know I love you. You've probably known from the minute I walked into your office. And you've known that this would happen, too. What we had together was too good, too strong for us to go on behaving as if nothing had happened, as if we didn't still love each other.'

  His eyes grew cold. 'You can speak about your own feelings, if you must, but don't try to describe mine.'

  'I don't have to describe them; you showed how much you needed me back there when you kissed me.'

  He seemed to flinch for a second but then his face tightened as Nick said sardonically, 'Not you particularly—any woman would have done.'

  She gasped and let him go, stunned by his cruelty. He strode on, heading towards the chopper. In angry frustration, Olivia called after him, 'You don't ring true, Nick. You can't care about me one moment and then be this cruel the next.'

  He reached the helicopter, unlocked the door and climbed in, then turned to face her. 'I can be anything I damn well want to be. And what I want right now is to be free of you!'

  Olivia stood in the grass, staring across at him, almost expecting him to
fly off and leave her. The sun was starting to set, turning the sky to flame and gold. The dying rays lay across her, outlining the bones of her face and the curves of her body, casting a long, sharp shadow that swayed a little as she waited. Nick put on his headset, then turned to look down at her. 'Are you coming?'

  Olivia would have liked to tell him to go to hell, but found she had no pride left. Walking round the chopper, she got in the other side and closed the door. Nick reached across to check it, as he always did, and she flinched away, not wanting him to touch her, however accidentally. Nick's hand stilled, briefly, and then he sat back, his profile set in lines of adamant withdrawal.

  They passed within range of an airfield on the way home, and Nick spoke briefly on the radio. 'This is helicopter Golf, Victor Alpha Uniform X-ray. Evesham Helicopter Services. Two people on board. Requesting flight information service.' He thanked the radio operator and that was all he said the whole journey.

  Olivia leaned back in her seat, feeling strangely numb. Again things hadn't worked out the way she had hoped. At least, not entirely. That kiss had worked out better than she'd dared to dream until Nick had walked away from it. She had been so exultant then, sure that he hadn't stopped loving her. But he had ruined everything of course, as he always seemed to do nowadays. Stealing a look at him under her lashes, Olivia wondered if he could possibly have really meant it when he'd said that any woman would do. He'd sure as hell acted extremely frustrated, almost as if he, too, had had no one else since they'd parted. But that was too much to hope for, Olivia decided. Nick had always been a very virile man and there was no reason why he shouldn't have had other women. After all, she thought bitterly, he was free; there had been no promises of undying faithfulness between them. That she had chosen to live as if there had been was entirely her own responsibility.

  Would he be willing to be her pilot any more? she wondered. And, even more important, would she want him to after today? But she knew she would. Her pride seemed to have taken so many knocks in the last weeks that at the moment it had disappeared altogether. They approached the heliport in the last light of evening, and she noticed the gabled roofs of the big house she had seen before. Forgetting her troubles for a moment, Olivia pointed down. 'Can we fly over that house? It looks beautiful with the sun reflecting off all those latticed windows.'