A Gentle Awakening

by Betty Neels

  ‘I didn’t tell her. I’m putting up at the Trout and Feathers; I thought you could do with a bit of livening up. I’ve got the car, we can drive around, go dancing, hit a few of the night-spots.’

  ‘You must be out of your mind! I work here, it’s a full-time job, and when I’m free I don’t want to go dancing or anything else, especially with you, Felix. I can’t think why you came.’

  ‘Let’s say I don’t like being thwarted.’ He smiled widely, and she thought that his eyes seemed closer together than she had remembered.

  ‘I don’t know what you mean…’ They had been speaking Dutch, but now she switched to English. ‘You are wasting your time here, Felix. I have neither the time nor the inclination to go out with you, even if it were possible.’

  He shrugged his shoulders. ‘I’ve taken the room for a week. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t spend it here if I wish.’

  ‘None at all, but please don’t come bothering me. Now, you will have to excuse me, I’m busy.’

  ‘No coffee? Where’s your Dutch hospitality?’

  ‘I’m not in a position to offer that, Felix. I’m cook here.’

  She led the way through the hall and opened the door. On the threshold, he paused. ‘Just a minute. Doesn’t your father live here?’

  ‘Yes, he does, but he has no interest in Mother’s side of the family—not since she died.’

  ‘Ah, well, they will know where he lives if I ask at the pub.’

  He gave her a mocking salute and got into his car.

  She shut the door slowly and found Nanny in the hall beside her. The old lady’s stern features were relaxed into a look of concern, so that Florina found herself pouring out a rather muddled account of her meeting with Felix at Tante Minna’s house, and her dislike of him. ‘I thought I’d been unfair to him,’ she explained, ‘for he was very nice at the wedding. It was afterwards…’

  Nanny nodded. ‘A conceited young man, and not a very pleasant one,’ she commented. ‘Did Sir William meet him?’

  ‘Yes.’ Florina went pink, for undoubtedly he thought that she and Felix were rather more than firm friends, even though she had denied it. What was he going to think if Felix came to see her? And he was quite capable of it…

  She went back to the kitchen and finished the pastry. She was so worried that she curdled the béarnaise sauce, which meant that she had to add iced water, a teaspoon at a time, and beat like mad until it was smooth again.

  Preparations for the evening’s dinner dealt with, she and Pauline took Bobby for his walk. She expected to meet Felix at every corner, but there was no sign of him. Perhaps he had realised that there was no chance of seeing much of her, and had driven off somewhere where there was more entertainment. She was able to wish Sir William a rather colourless good evening when he arrived, and was relieved to hear Wanda go straight upstairs without bothering to say anything to anyone.

  ‘And how is the village?’ enquired Sir William. ‘Anything exciting happened since I was last here?’

  ‘Nothing—nothing at all,’ said Florina, so quickly that he took a long look at her. Guilt was written all over her nice little face, but he forebore from pursuing the matter. Instead, he sighed inwardly; she was holding something back, and until she had learned to trust him utterly there was little he could do about it. He made some casual remark about Mother and Child sitting as usual before the Aga, then strolled away. He could, of course, question Nanny, but he dismissed the idea at once. Florina would have to tell him herself. Until she trusted him he couldn’t be sure…

  It was after breakfast the next morning that Felix walked up the drive, rang the bell, and demanded of Nanny, who had answered to door, to see Sir William. He was charming about it, but very determined, and she had no choice but to put him in the small sitting-room and tell Sir William.

  So this was Florina’s secret, he reflected, shaking hands with Felix, good manners masking his dislike.

  ‘This is a surprise,’ he observed. ‘You are on holiday?’

  Felix gave him a look of well simulated surprise. ‘Oh, hasn’t Florina told you? I’m staying in the village for a week—so that we can see something of each other. I thought that she would be free for part of each day so that we could be together…’

  Sir William said mildly, ‘I’m afraid that she doesn’t get a great deal of time to herself, especially at the weekends. If you had warned her before you came, something could have been arranged. Perhaps she can manage a half-day after the weekend.’

  He got to his feet and Felix, perforce, got to his. ‘So sorry,’ Sir William said. ‘You’ll forgive me, I’m sure. I have a guest and have the morning planned.’

  He bade Felix goodbye at the door and remained there until he was out of sight, then he shut the door quietly and went along to the kitchen.

  Florina was peeling potatoes at the sink, lulled into a sense of false security, so that the enquiring face she turned towards him was serene. But it took only a few seconds for her to realise that something was wrong.

  Sir William wandered over to the table and sat on it. ‘Your friend Felix has just called to see me. Why didn’t you tell me he was in the village, Florina?’

  She plunged at once into a muddled speech. ‘I don’t want to—that is he came yesterday—I didn’t think—’ She made matters worse by adding, ‘I didn’t have time to talk to him…’

  ‘But you had time to tell me. Remember? I asked you if there was any news and you said—I quote, “Nothing—nothing at all.” Why so secretive, Florina? Did you think that I might not allow my cook to have followers?’

  ‘He’s not a follower,’ she mumbled.

  ‘He followed you here. I think I’m entitled to…’ He fell silent as the door opened and Pauline came in, Bobby in her arms.

  ‘Daddy, Wanda is still in bed. Could we go for a walk until she gets up? There’s a darling little calf at the farm. Florina and I went to look at it and we can go any time we like, so I don’t suppose they’ll mind you, instead.’

  She looked at Florina’s pale, strained face and then at her father.

  ‘Are you quarrelling?’ she wanted to know.

  Sir William put a hand on her small shoulders and went to the door.

  ‘When you are old and wise enough, darling, you will understand that one never quarrels with one’s cook.’ He sounded savage.

  Florina finished the potatoes and started scraping carrots. She felt numb and her head was quite empty of thought. Presently, the whole of the little scene came flooding back, and her eyes filled with tears so that she could hardly see what she was doing. Finally, indignation swallowed up every other feeling. He hadn’t given her a chance to explain, he had taken it for granted that the wretched Felix actually meant something to her, and he had been unkind, more than that, utterly beastly. It would serve him right if she were to spend an evening with Felix…

  She finished the carrots and started on the salsify, and when Nanny came into the kitchen presently, she left the sink and poured coffee for them both.

  Nanny sipped appreciatively. ‘You make very good coffee, child.’ She glanced at Florina’s pink nose. ‘What’s upset Sir William, I wonder? In a nasty old temper when he left the house. Not that any that didn’t know him well would even guess at it, but I’ve known him since he was a baby!’

  She took another quick peep at Florina. ‘Had all his plans laid, I dare say, and someone’s messed them up. Did I see that young man coming up the drive an hour or so ago? I wonder what he wanted? A troublemaker if ever I saw one.’

  Florina said, ‘He came to see if I could go out with him. I imagine that he let Sir William think that I knew he was coming to stay.’ She poured more coffee. ‘Nanny, I’d rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind.’

  Nanny nodded. ‘Least said…’ She didn’t finish because Wanda came into the kitchen. ‘Oh, there you are—this is the worst run household I’ve ever had to endure. I want coffee in the drawing-room. I won’t wait for Sir William.
’ She turned on her heel and then paused. ‘Who was that young man who called earlier this morning? Rather good-looking, I thought. Why haven’t I met him before? Does he come from the village—he looked a cut above that.’

  Nanny was silent, so was Florina.

  ‘Well, who was he?’ She laughed suddenly. ‘Never your boyfriend, Cook? I find that hard to believe.’ Her laugh became a snigger. ‘It was!’ She watched Florina’s face glow. ‘What a joke! Are you the best he can manage? Does Sir William know?’ And, when no one answered, ‘Yes, he does. I wonder what he thought of it? His marvellous cook with a boyfriend up her sleeve. Well you’ll be free to marry him, if that is what he wants, won’t you? For you won’t be here much longer, I promise you that.’

  She swept out of the kitchen, leaving the two of them silent. Presently Nanny said, ‘You did quite right not to say anything.’ Her sharp eyes searched Florina’s pale face. ‘She will use this to her advantage—urge Sir William to let you go, so that you can get married…’

  Florina nodded miserably. ‘But Nanny, I don’t want to marry him—even if he were the last man left on earth.’

  ‘I know that. Is he serious about you?’

  Florina shook her head. ‘I didn’t respond and he expected me to. He got very angry…’

  ‘A nasty type. You had better tell Sir William. He’ll see that he doesn’t bother you again.’

  Florina said quite violently. ‘No—no, I don’t want to talk about it to him. Please don’t say anything to him, Nanny. Promise?’

  Nanny said briefly, ‘I’ll promise, if it will make you happy, though you’re making a big mistake.’ She wouldn’t break her promise, but if she could see a way round that she would take it. If there was a misunderstanding at this stage it would be a great pity. Here was Florina, bless the girl, head over heels in love with Sir William and making no effort to do anything about it because cooks didn’t marry their employers, especially when they were wealthy and at the top of their profession. And Sir William already engaged to that awful Miss Fortesque…and he as uncertain as a young man in the throes of his first love affair. Nanny, incurably romantic under her severe exterior, sighed deeply, refused more coffee and went away to tidy the chaos in Wanda’s bedroom, bearing a tray of coffee for that lady as she went.

  Florina stayed in the kitchen, bent on keeping out of sight. She was putting the finished touches to a trifle when Pauline and Bobby joined her. ‘Daddy wants his coffee. I said I’d take it. We had a lovely walk and Bobby ran for miles.’

  She peered into Florina’s face. ‘Darling Florina, you look so sad. Was Daddy angry with you?’

  Florina arranged the tray and put a plate of little almond biscuits beside the coffee-pot. ‘Good gracious, no, love! I’m not a bit sad, only rather head-achy. Go carefully with the tray. Shall I put another cup on it, for you?’

  ‘May I have my milk here with you? Wanda told Daddy that she wanted to speak to him seriously. She’s being all charming and smiling—I bet she’s up to no good…’

  Florina agreed silently, although she said firmly, ‘Pauline, you mustn’t say things like that about your father’s guests. It would hurt his feelings.’

  Pauline picked up the tray. She said, with the frankness of children, ‘But he hasn’t any feelings for her, I can tell; he’s always so polite to her. I can’t think why he’s going to marry her.’

  ‘People marry because they love each other.’

  Pauline kissed her cheek. ‘Dear Florina, you’re such a darling, but not always quite with it.’ She took a biscuit and munched it. ‘If Daddy was poor and just Mr Sedley, she wouldn’t want to marry him. She worked on him—you know—all sweet interest and how clever he is and all that rubbish. I suppose he thought she’d make quite a good stepmother for me, and he just let himself be conned.’ She kissed Florina again, picked up the tray and skipped off before Florina’s shocked rebuke could reach her ears.

  She was back quickly. ‘Daddy’s angry! His face is all calm and his eyes are almost shut. I couldn’t hear what Wanda was saying but her voice sounded as though she was in church. You know, all hushed and very solemn.’

  Florina muttered something neither hushed nor solemn, and said rather loudly, ‘I expect they are discussing their wedding.’

  Pauline drank some of her milk and, since Florina wasn’t looking, poured some of it into Mother’s saucer. ‘No, they weren’t, because I listened a teeny bit as I was closing the door and she said, “Let’s have him for drinks, darling.”’

  Florina dropped the wooden spoon she was holding and took a long time to pick it up.

  ‘Someone from the village, I expect,’ she said, knowing in her heart that it was Felix. Well, if it was, she would keep out of sight. She would be busy with dinner, anyway.

  It wasn’t until after tea that Nanny came to tell her that someone was coming for drinks. ‘Sir William didn’t say who it was.’ She caught sight of Florina’s face. ‘That young man…this is Wanda’s doing. She can be very persuasive when she wants; probably painted a pathetic picture of you pining for his company. Did you see very much of him in Holland? And did Sir William see you together?’

  Florina nodded dumbly. ‘I wish I could run away!’

  ‘Run away? Unthinkable! Besides you’re not the girl I think you are if you do. Must I still keep my promise?’

  Florina lifted a stubborn chin. ‘Yes, please.’ She added hopefully, ‘Probably he won’t come in here. He’ll be a guest, after all, and only a casual caller…’

  It was worse than anything she could have imagined. She was piping creamed potatoes on to a baking tray when the door opened and Sir William, Wanda and Felix came into the kitchen.

  It was Wanda who spoke. ‘Oh, Cook—here is Felix.’ She paused to give him a conspiratorial look. ‘You don’t mind if I call you that?’ She smiled at Florina with eyes like flints. ‘He can’t wait to talk to you. You are such a marvellous cook that I’m sure it won’t bother you if he stays while you work for a while?’

  Florina looked at her and then at Felix, grinning at seeing her cornered. Lastly, she looked at Sir William. He was leaning against the door, apparently only mildly interested. She said in a high voice which she managed to keep steady, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t work in this kitchen unless I’m alone.’

  ‘In that case,’ said Sir William, ‘let us leave you alone, in peace. I don’t want my dinner spoilt.’

  Wanda didn’t give up easily. ‘Pauline is always here…’

  He said mildly, ‘Certainly she is, but she helps Florina, fetching and carrying, washing up and generally making herself quite useful. And I entirely approve, I should like her to be as good a cook as Florina. I doubt if—er—Felix wishes to wash the dishes.’ He turned politely to him. ‘You must have another drink before you go. I’m sure we shall be able to arrange something at a more propitious time.’

  The party left the kitchen, leaving her shaking with temper. She attacked the food she was preparing quite savagely, curdling a sauce and burning the croûtons. With the kitchen full of blue smoke and the pungent smell of the charred remains at the foot of the pan, she clashed lids, dropped spoons and spilt some clarifying butter on to the floor.

  It was to this scene of chaos that Sir William returned.

  ‘Something is burning,’ he observed.

  ‘I know that!’ she snapped. ‘Dinner is ruined.’ An exaggeration, but excusable in the circumstances.

  His fine mouth twitched. ‘I’m sorry that we upset you by coming into the kitchen. Wanda was sure that you would be delighted, and certainly there was no need for you to be so reluctant to mention it to me…’

  ‘Reluctant? Reluctant?’ said Florina shrilly. ‘And pray why should I be that? In any case, it’s my business, Sir William.’ Rage sat strangely upon her, her eyes blazed in her usually tranquil face, her soft mouth shook. Sir William eyed her very thoughtfully.

  ‘This Felix,’ he said at last. ‘Are you in love with him?’ When she remained silent, he w
ent on, ‘No, don’t tell me again that it’s not my business. After all, it’s my dinner which is ruined. But you’re not going to tell me, are you, Florina? I wonder why that is?’

  She spoke in a small whispering voice. ‘You made up your mind that I was being deceitful about him, you—you said he was my follower—that was to remind me that I was your cook, so if you don’t mind I will not tell you anything, Sir William. I will make sure that he doesn’t come here again. I’m sorry if it has embarrassed you.’

  ‘Good God, girl, why should it do that? On the contrary, it enlightened me.’ He was going to say more, but the door was pushed open with an impatient hand, and Wanda came in. She was wearing a white crêpe dress and her hair was carefully arranged in careless curls; she looked sweet and feminine and most appealing.

  ‘William, I’m so glad you are here, now you can hear me say how sorry I am to Cook. I embarrassed her, but I truly thought she would be pleased.’ Her blue eyes swam with tears, as she turned to Florina. ‘You must think I’m quite horrid. Don’t bear a grudge against me, will you? I told Felix that I was sure that you would have time to see something of him while he is here. After all, you won’t have anything much to do once we are gone.’

  She tucked a hand under Sir William’s arm, and smiled at him prettily. ‘Don’t be cross with me, darling, for giving orders in your house. After all, it’s soon to be mine as well, isn’t it?’

  Sir William said nothing to that, only stared at Florina. ‘We’ll go,’ he said briskly. ‘Florina has had enough interruptions.’

  Alone once more, Florina set about rescuing the dinner from disaster. ‘Not that I care if everything is burnt to a cinder,’ she said to Mother. ‘Anyway, you and Child can have the egg custard—it’s not fit to put on the table.’

  Sir William made no attempt to seek her out. Indeed, it seemed to her that he was avoiding her. Usually he came into the kitchen with Pauline in the morning while she fed Bobby and the cats, sitting astride a chair, talking to Florina about the village and telling her his plans for the garden, but not any more. Nor, to her relief, did she see anything of Felix. Sunday came and went, there were friends for drinks, and very soon after lunch he drove back to London with Wanda, smiling a small, triumphant smile, sitting beside him. He had bidden Florina goodbye in a pleasant manner, but the easy friendship between them had gone.