Back to Your Love

by Kianna Alexander

  The judge, a stout woman with curly white hair, emerged from the chambers and took the bench. Her voluminous black robe enveloped her petite figure. With a bang of her gavel on the wooden block, the judge commanded silence in the room. Under her unwavering gaze, conversation in the room quieted, then ceased.

  Listening to the proceedings, Imani learned the judge’s name: Philomena Caprese. Judge Caprese spoke at length with the man who’d accompanied Trent and Peter; he was indeed their lawyer, Seth Douglas.

  “We recommend mediation in this situation, Your Honor. The boys’ actions, while regrettable, are an indication of bad judgment more than anything.” Seth paced the floor in front of the bench as he made his argument. “There was no real malice in the act.”

  “Mr. Douglas, the plaintiff in this case has filed a formal complaint with the Department of Juvenile Justice. You’re right about the bad judgment, but lack of malicious intent does not affect the outcome of their actions.” Judge Caprese shuffled through a stack of papers on the high desk in front of her. “Dr. Grant suffered significant damage to her property, as well as loss of income and undue stress.”

  “I don’t deny the facts of the case, Your Honor. I’m simply asking for a chance at redemption for my clients. This youthful indiscretion, while serious, should not ruin their chances at success down the road.”

  Imani, with her hands folded in her lap, had to admit she agreed with Mr. Douglas’s assessment. Peter and Trent were still young, and while she wanted them to pay a penalty for their deeds, she wasn’t sure she wanted the penalty to ruin their lives.

  Maya shook her head. “Those boys are about to have their futures destroyed, all over a stupid decision.”

  Drawing a deep breath, Imani rose to her feet. “Your Honor, I’m Dr. Imani Grant. May I speak, please?”

  Judge Caprese acknowledged her with a nod. “Dr. Grant. Yes, you are entitled to speak as part of this hearing.”

  “I agree with Mr. Douglas. I don’t want these young men to have their futures taken away from them. It’s important that they understand they did something wrong, but I don’t want to ruin their lives.”

  Stacy, seated near the front, turned in her seat to stare at Imani. Unshed tears stood in her eyes.

  Imani glanced Stacy’s way, letting her gaze reassure the woman. “I’m willing to drop my complaint if the boys are willing to do some community service.”

  Seth Douglas smiled but still kept his expression serious. “Well, Your Honor, if the plaintiff is willing to do this, my clients will be happy to cooperate.”

  Judge Caprese folded her arms over her chest and sat silent for a moment. “I’ll allow it. But I expect full and complete cooperation from you two young men. Is that understood?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Trent and Peter stated their agreement in unison.

  “Mr. Holmes, Mr. Goings, I’m going to sentence you to fifty hours each of community service. And I don’t want to see your names come across my desk again.” Judge Caprese banged her gavel again.

  As the bailiff called for the next hearing, Imani watched the boys shake hands with their lawyer. When she saw Trent clutch his mother in a tight hug, Imani felt a smile lifting the corners of her mouth.

  Maya patted her on the shoulder. “You did the right thing, girl.”

  Looking at the scene unfolding in front of her, Imani sighed. “I hope so.”

  Chapter 14

  Rising from his seat, Xavier looked toward the back of the courtroom. Imani stood there, gesturing with her hands as she conversed with Maya. He couldn’t hear whatever they were speaking about, but honestly, he didn’t much care, because Imani had his full attention regardless.

  It had been over a week since he’d gone by her apartment for dinner, since she’d started to open up to him about her life during the years they’d spent apart. He knew there was more to the story, but she’d apparently revealed more than she’d wanted to. He supposed he shouldn’t complain about the turn of events; after all, he’d gone there with every intention of taking a break from their budding relationship. In a way, she’d made the task easier.

  What hadn’t gotten any easier, though, was the misery of being away from her. Tyrone was thrilled that Xavier hadn’t had any contact with Imani recently. Tyrone thought Xavier’s full focus was on the campaign, but Xavier knew better. He’d been phoning it in, because he missed her terribly.

  He contented himself to stay where he was for a moment, admiring her beauty. She wore a dark-gray coat, cinched at the waist, over a conservative pair of navy-blue slacks. The outfit obscured her figure somewhat, but not from him. He had intimate familiarity with the soft, womanly curves that lay beneath her clothing. She’d pulled her hair back, revealing the soft lines of her face. She’d forgone heavy makeup in favor of just a touch of lipstick, and he didn’t mind at all. She was gorgeous, and seeing her now made him want to stride over to where she stood, take her into his arms, and kiss away the ruby-red color staining her lips.

  He knew that if he didn’t get out of there fast, he’d be unable to control his urges. Still, he needed to speak with her for a moment, so he could communicate his gratitude for what she’d done. He gathered his strength, then began moving in her direction. Maneuvering around the chairs and the people who still remained in the room, he kept moving until he entered her personal space.

  Maya, as perceptive as ever, smiled at his approach. “I’ll go warm up the car. Meet me outside.”

  Imani’s eyes widened, and she looked as if she wanted to stop Maya from leaving. But before she could formulate a sentence, Maya had already snatched Imani’s keys and disappeared through the double doors.

  “Hello, Imani.” He tried to look into her sparkling, dark eyes, but her gaze fled from his.

  “Xavier.” She gave him a sidelong glance, then looked away again.

  If she chose to inspect her shoes while he spoke, he didn’t care. “I just wanted to thank you for what you did. I know you could have easily let the judge throw the book at the boys, and I just wanted to tell you I appreciate your decision.”

  She drew her purse strap onto her shoulder and lifted her gaze. “I just did what I thought would be fair.”

  He waited, sensing she had more to say.

  “I had to be honest with myself. When I looked at Trent and Peter, I saw the faces of the young men who murdered my father. But I can’t hold them responsible for that. Your kids still have a chance to avoid going down that path, and I want this to be a learning experience for them, not a life sentence.”

  He nodded. “That’s a very mature way of looking at things.”

  A small smile touched her lips. “Thank you. In the end, I think it’s what Daddy would have wanted me to do.”

  He noticed she still didn’t look directly at him; she appeared to be looking past him. “Listen, Imani. About what happened the other night—”

  She raised her hand to stop him. “Xavier, look, I’m sorry I can’t give you the total transparency you want from me. I really am. But I’m just not there yet. Can you understand where I’m coming from?”

  He touched her shoulder. “I’m willing to try.”

  She exhaled through rounded lips. “I appreciate that. I’m in a complex situation when it comes to my past. But if we just let it go for now and don’t speak of it, everything will be fine. I promise I’ll tell you everything when the time is right. But, Xavier, you’ve got to give me time.”

  He looked into her eyes, saw the sincerity and the unshed tears. She was struggling with something, and if he truly cared about her, he had to let her work through it in her own way. Abandoning her was out of the question. “Sweets, don’t worry about it. We’ll figure it out together.”

  Wearing a teary smile, she leaned up to place a soft kiss against his cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered into his ear.

  He held her close for a few seconds,
aware of the prying eyes all around them. Stepping back, he said, “I won’t hold you up. I know Maya’s waiting for you, so I’ll give you a call. Okay?”

  “Okay.” Still wearing that soft smile, she tightened her coat and walked away.

  He watched her leave, and as the doors swung shut behind her, he could feel the warmth of her kiss still clinging to his jaw.

  Someone tapped him on the shoulder, drawing his attention. He turned to see Stacy standing there with a sheepish-looking Trent in tow.

  She reached out to shake his hand. “I’m so glad Dr. Grant came around.” Her eyes were still watery, but she appeared much happier and calmer than she’d been earlier.

  He offered a small smile. “So am I.”

  Stacy linked arms with her son. “Now I’m taking my boy home, so we can have a long chat about making good choices. Right, Trent?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Trent looked at Xavier. “See you later, Mr. Whitted.”

  Xavier offered a wave as the two of them departed.

  * * *

  Imani stared out the window of her father’s study. Outside, it was a beautiful fall Saturday afternoon. Some of the young children in the neighborhood dashed by on their bikes, stirring up the gold and crimson oak leaves littering the sidewalk. The sun shone bright, unencumbered by the thin, wispy clouds overhead.

  The scene blurred as her eyes filled once again with tears. She was overwhelmed by such a volatile mix of emotions that even the simplest tasks seemed daunting. Parts of her were ecstatic that she and Xavier had made up, and she wanted to give him the complete honesty he craved. But deep inside, she clung to the fear of what that would mean. Would he really be able to accept what she told him as truth? Would Xavier take her word over the word of someone so powerful?

  In the past, she’d gone to her father for advice whenever she found herself in a complex situation. So, this morning, she’d donned an old pink sweat suit and gone to her parents’ home, seeking whatever solace she could find in her dad’s study. Her mother spent most Saturdays at the church, doing auxiliary work, so Imani knew she wouldn’t be disturbed.

  Easing over to her father’s desk, she fell into the big brown leather chair and let her gaze sweep the familiar surroundings. The walls, painted her father’s favorite shade of midnight blue, were filled with things he’d collected during his life. His secondary education degree from Shaw University was displayed directly behind his desk. The opposite wall was filled with pictures of Richard and his students at Millbrook. During his teaching years, he’d been very popular with the students, some of whom looked up to him in place of their own absent fathers. The smile he’d worn when surrounded by his students was telling: he’d loved his work.

  On the tall mahogany bookcase that occupied the corner next to the window, books on topics ranging from accounting to woodworking filled the shelves. Richard had been an avid reader in his free time. The top two shelves also held some things Alma had kept from the hardware store. A framed photo of the three of them on the day Excalibur Hardware opened, as well as the first dollar the store had made and the old cash register her father had used occupied the space.

  Leaning back in the chair, Imani felt the tears running down her face again and didn’t bother to wipe at them as they ran down to fill her ears. She missed her father now as fiercely as the day he’d died and wondered how long it would be before the pain finally subsided, or at least waned. She closed her eyes and pictured his handsome, smiling face. If he were there, what would he tell her to do about Xavier? Her father had never steered her wrong, and she dearly wished he could be there to offer the sage advice she so desperately needed.

  Imani had always known she couldn’t keep her secret from Xavier forever. What bothered her was the growing feeling that she wanted to be with Xavier, needed to be with him. She’d been career focused, thinking of romantic entanglements as a distraction from achieving her goals. Yet here she was, weeping and wondering if she would have to live all alone for the rest of her life.

  Her stomach growled loudly, but she ignored it. While her body might crave food, she was too mentally exhausted to want anything to eat. She’d choked down some wheat toast this morning, but even that had been an ordeal. She didn’t intend to eat anything else until she could shake the anxiety that plagued her.

  Imani knew her mother would eventually come home and find her sitting there, but she had no desire to rush to her own apartment to avoid her mom. Since her world was falling apart anyway, her mother might as well know her secret. She’d tell her when Alma got back from church. The conversation would not be a pleasant one, but Imani knew her mother loved her. As Southern and Baptist as she was, Alma wasn’t the type of woman who would disown her only child for something that wasn’t her fault.

  Exhausted, Imani tipped forward, resting her forehead on the coolness of the polished mahogany desktop.

  She didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until she heard sounds of movement downstairs. As her eyes slid open, she saw the color of sunset painting the room around her. Soon after that, she heard Alma’s voice calling her name.

  She lifted her head long enough to call back, “I’m in here.” Then she let it drop right back down on the desk. Moments later, the door to the study opened, and her mother stepped inside.

  “Imani? I saw your car in the driveway. What’s the matter, baby?”

  Hearing the concern in her mother’s voice brought on a fresh round of tears. She sat up, focusing her watery eyes on her mother.

  As she stood there in a pair of khaki pants and a yellow long-sleeved T, Alma looked worried. She made her way over to the desk and wrapped her arms around Imani’s shoulders. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

  Imani took a deep breath. “Do you know how I paid my tuition to Spelman, Mama?”

  Her mother looked confused. “You worked. And I’m proud of you.” She searched her eyes. “What are you getting at?”

  “It was a settlement, Mama. I worked, but it was an out-of-court settlement that really paid my tuition.” Imani’s flat tone covered the immense shame she felt as she said the words out loud.

  Alma stiffened but didn’t withdraw her embrace. That gave Imani a measure of comfort as an awkward silence fell between them.

  Finally, Alma asked, “Settlement? For what? Baby, you have to tell me what happened.”

  “I was a receptionist for a small law firm.” She looked up into her mother’s eyes, so she would know she was telling the truth. “And one of my bosses thought I should be doing more for him than just filing and answering his phones.”

  Alma gasped. “Oh no.”

  Tears were already sliding down Imani’s face. “I tried to get away from him. I really did. But he was stronger. He held me down…” Her words were extinguished, fading into a sob.

  “Oh no. Not my baby.” Alma’s embrace tightened as she spoke in a tear-strained voice. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Imani. So very sorry.”

  Imani rocked side to side in her mother’s arms, letting the motion soothe her. Somewhat recovered, she continued. “It was just the way things were done in that office, I guess. But nobody told me that. When I went to Human Resources, he tried to turn things around on me, tried to act like I came on to him. He threatened to sue me for harassment.”

  Alma loosened her grip, so she could sit back and look into her eyes. Wiping the tears from her daughter’s face with her fingertips, she sighed. “Let me guess. You took a settlement rather than be publicly embarrassed.”

  Imani nodded. “And under the terms of my settlement, I’m under a gag order. I can’t publicly discuss the details until after his death.”

  Shaking her head, Alma touched her hand to her temple. “Who did this to you, Imani?”

  With an expression of utter disgust, she muttered his name. “Aaron Givens.”

  Alma’s hand flew to her mouth. “Not the sa
me Aaron Givens on the city council!”

  “Yes, the same one.”

  Alma’s face creased into a frown. “Well. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this disgusted.”

  Imani shook her head, trying to rid herself of the image of Givens’s face. “The worst part is, I can’t tell anyone what kind of person he really is. The city of Raleigh deserves so much more from its leaders.”

  “Baby, I’m so angry and so hurt that this happened to you. But knowing what you went through and that you’ve still managed to accomplish so much just makes me even more proud of you.” Alma squeezed her daughter’s hand.

  A smile spread across her face, despite the tears that still fell from her eyes. Only now, the tears were happy ones. Unburdening herself to her mother felt good, better than she could have imagined. She stood and embraced her mother. “Thank you, Mama.”

  “Does Xavier know about all this?”

  “Yes and no.” Imani could feel the fear growing inside once again. “I told him that I’d been harassed and that I was under a gag order, but not much else.”

  “Why haven’t you told him the full story?”

  “Mama, Givens is a powerful man. If the truth comes out, I know he’ll come after me. With Xavier’s campaign going on, I just can’t bring myself to drag him into this. Beyond that, I don’t have any assurance Xavier will even believe me.”

  Alma’s expression conveyed her intent listening.

  “What if he thinks I had an affair with Givens and that I was just trying to cover it up by going to HR?”

  Alma looked thoughtful. “I can see why you’re nervous, but I don’t think Xavier is like that.”

  “I don’t know, Mama. I just don’t know how he’d take it.”

  “I understand. Do what works for you, but if you’re going to be with Xavier, he needs to know what happened. Just promise me you’ll think about it.”