Sacred Serenity (Lotus House Book 2)

by Audrey Carlan

  She dropped her hands and slapped the sides of her legs before balling both hands into fists. I couldn’t help but chuckle under the weight of her obvious frustration. What can I say? She was so damned cute. Made me wonder what other layers would peel back the more time we spent together. I sure looked forward to finding out.

  “Dash, we cannot date. We are colleagues. It would be a conflict.”

  I huffed. “Just because you’re assisting in my class does not make you my colleague. Last I recalled, you were a medical student and going to be a doctor. How does that in any way pose a conflict of interest toward a yoga instructor and author?”

  She scrunched up her nose. Yep, cute as a button.

  “You’re an author? What have you written?”

  Like a dog to a bone. “In order to find out, you’ll have to ask me that question again when we go on our date. Now, I know you have a busy school schedule. Besides my classes here, I’m flexible and can work with your timelines.”

  “Um…” She blew out a breath. “I don’t know.”

  “What day?”

  Amber rolled her head and pressed her hand to the back of her neck. That gesture alone spoke volumes. She was going to try to come up with another excuse.

  “Amber…I’m waiting. Don’t make me come over there and coerce it out of you.”

  The skin around her eyes tightened as she glared. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  I snickered. “Oh, little bird, there are a lot of things I would do that you would find ab-so-lute-ly sinful.”

  Her mouth dropped open.

  “You’re getting it now. So just answer me, because I’m not going to stop pursuing this. When. Are. You. Free?”

  Without a second’s more thought, she spat out her next words on a testy eye roll. “I have class on Monday and a study date on Tuesday, so it will have to be Wednesday.”

  This time I grimaced. The green-eyed monster blinked its eyes open and slithered up from the base of my spine to tighten around my chest. Its claws dug into my flesh to the point I had no control over my knee-jerk response.

  “Study date?” I growled.

  She smirked, grabbed her jacket, and slipped it on. I watched as her breasts arched with the movement. If only I was standing before her. I could feel those erect tips brush against my chest, cooling the beast growling for attention.

  “Yep. Each student gets paired off. Lucky me, I got the professor’s son. He’s a second-year student and is going to show me the ropes.”

  I snarled, even though I tried my damndest to hold it back. “Does this study buddy have a name?”

  She smiled and zipped up her jacket. “Landen. Why?”

  Landen. Of course. Perfect poster boy for Mr. Doctor GQ. Well, he wasn’t going to get his hands on my woman.

  My woman. Oh, hell.

  I had no right to claim her…yet. That didn’t stop every nerve, pore, and thought within me from screaming otherwise.

  “Does he have a girlfriend?”

  She shrugged. “Don’t know, don’t care.” Amber looked away quickly as if plotting her escape.

  Nuh-uh. A woman only did that if she was uncomfortable, hiding something.

  “Did he already make an advance toward you?” I inhaled slowly so as not to frighten her with how hot my anger was with just hearing about her planning to meet up with another man. A medical student, someone who was probably exactly like her. Had the same goals, the same dreams. I’d never had to compete for a woman’s attention in my life, but I’d start now. For her.

  Amber sighed long and loud. “Dash, we are not having this conversation. You’ve cornered me into dinner on Wednesday. It’s none of your business what I do with my life, or who I do it with. So unless you want me to stand you up on Wednesday, you’ll drop this…now.”

  I held my hands behind my back so tight the muscles in my shoulders protested painfully. “Fine. Enjoy your study date. I’ll pick you up at seven, if that suits you.”

  “Since I get off school at five, that will be fine. I’ll text you my address.”

  Without anything more I could do, I nodded curtly. She hefted her mat and bag over her shoulder and tilted her head. She pushed an obstinate lock of hair behind her ear and smiled sweetly.

  “I, uh, did feel what you felt today.” Her words were hurried and uncertain.

  The wave of relief washed over me like aloe to a prickling itch. I watched her walk to the exit before I called out, “Thank you.”

  Amber stopped, turned around, and rested a hand to a hip. “Why?”

  “For admitting our truth.”

  She huffed. “Which is?”

  I grinned and ruffled my fingers through my hair, trying to find the right words. If anything, she needed something to remember today by. A bit of hope to last through the weekend and Tuesday’s class and subsequent date with Landen.

  The time was now or never. “That something, the universe, or perhaps your God brought us together.”

  “My God?”

  I nodded.

  “Does that mean you’re not a believer?” Her face paled, and her eyes glistened. A slight tremble marred her moistened lips.

  Instinctively, I knew that my answer to this question would mean more than any other she’d ever ask.

  “I don’t know,” I finally admitted, not at all certain where my answer would stand. I wasn’t raised in a religious home and never went to church. I knew as much about God and religion as I could find in my theology texts. Didn’t mean I was a believer. At least not right now.

  While I waited, I could count the ticks on the clock, the room was that silent. My breath sounded loud, like when you put your ear up to a conch shell and hear the ocean. Unusually, I was using Ujjayi breath—a form of breathing that’s done by inhaling and exhaling strictly through the nose. When done correctly, it created an ocean sound as the throat narrowed and air was pushed through. Once the air was released, the result was an open root and sacral chakra. Together, the breath created a rushing sound that could help center and focus your attention internally. Dara, the meditation teacher, taught it to me when I was having trouble meditating last year.

  I waited for what felt like an hour for her to respond, but was probably only a few seconds. Then, she smiled and her entire face lit up into the most beatific smile I’d seen on her yet. She was unearthly gorgeous when she smiled.

  “Then I shall enlighten you.” She waved a hand over her head and called out, “See you Wednesday.”

  Her footsteps echoed down the hall. I strained to hear every one before I crouched down and balanced, flat-footed, ass almost touching the ground. I continued the Ujjayi, breathing for a solid ten minutes until a sense of calm replaced the nervous energy and jealousy I’d been plagued with.

  I stood up, pressed my hands to the center of my chest, palms touching, and thanked the universe for all that it had given me today. I could only imagine what was in store for me next. With a majestic little bird like Amber, the only thing I could count on was that it would be unique.

  Chapter Eight

  Garland Pose (Sanskrit: Malasana)

  A great pose for opening the sacral chakra and the hips. Many yoga practitioners use this pose to center and root the body down to Earth. The closer you are to the ground, the more of the Earth’s energy you feel. To get into this asana, shift your weight into a wide-legged squat so that the bum comes close to the floor but does not touch it. Press your elbows into your inner thighs and place your hands into heart center to aid with balance. Stay in this position for as long as it feels good.

  AMBER

  “My father was such an ass today!” Landen groaned and tossed his backpack onto the long oak dining table in his family’s home.

  With slow steps, I followed him into the mini-mansion. My grandparents’ home was worth a couple million, and this one had to be worth double, possibly even triple, that. Set into the San Francisco hillside, I could see the Golden Gate Bridge, the heart of the city, its skyscrapers, and the chop
py waters of the Bay out every window. Dr. O’Brien had done very well for himself indeed. I guess when a person was responsible for teaching the brightest minds the complexities of modern medicine in a hard-core program such as the one I’d been accepted into, he likely got paid a pretty penny.

  I set my bag on the rectangular solid oak table. The thing had twelve chairs, but could have fit twenty chairs squeezed around it. On the walls surrounding the table were family photos. Pictures of Landen as a baby, of his father holding him—the same stuff my nana had all over her home. Landen definitely took after his father based on the pictures because his mother had flat, shiny blond hair.

  “Iced tea?” He handed me a full glass.

  I smiled. “Sure. Thank you.”

  Landen shook his head and paced in front of the table. “I can’t believe how much of a jerk Dad was. To ask you personal questions like that…I don’t get it.”

  Sipping the tea was as good a distraction as any, so I went with it.

  “It’s just not like him. He never gets personal with his students. He’s always been strictly professional. I’m sorry he asked about your mom like that today.” Landen’s eyes were a mix of sadness and something else, the little lines around them starkly visible.

  Without agreeing with him, I just nodded. I wished I could have rubbed a reassuring hand down his back, but that would have been too forward and possibly given an impression I didn’t want him to have. Although he had an excellent point. The last thing a new student wanted to do was get on her professor’s bad side. I reached out and placed my hand on Landen’s bicep instead, figuring that was a safe friendly area. Like Dash did the first time we met, Landen flexed his arm instantly.

  Do not respond. Do not respond. I coached myself and failed when I felt myself smile.

  It was too funny. To have a guy automatically flex his muscle like that. Silly. Though it proved once again that he was very likely interested in me in more than a school study buddy type way. It would be wise for me to remember not to stroke his ego in that manner or I’d have to backpedal big time. Besides, Dash would positively lose his cool if he found out Landen was flirting with me.

  Dash. I cringed. Seriously, there was nothing official going on between Dash and me. Regardless of what he might think, I couldn’t possibly be his type. Of course, the date tomorrow said otherwise. Once he found out that I wasn’t willing to bed him, he’d lose what little interest he seemed to have. So technically, I was a free agent to do whatever I pleased with whomever I pleased—including the boy looking down at me with soft green eyes and a winking dimple in his right cheek. Yet I felt a zap of guilt rippling through my veins that chilled my blood.

  I pulled back and frowned. “Sorry.”

  Landen smirked. “Why? I like it when you touch me. It’s nice.” He shifted his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, it feels like I know you already. Isn’t that weird?”

  That time, I did laugh. He could be right. “I will admit to feeling an odd sense of déjà vu in your presence. Are you sure we haven’t taken a class together?”

  He shook his head before centering his focus on me. Like a slow caress, he checked me out from top to toe and back up. “Believe me. I’d remember you.”

  I sighed and pushed at his chest. “Shut up. I’ll bet we were at a seminar at the same time and sat near each other or something. Maybe that’s what’s up with your dad asking personal questions. He thinks he knows me.”

  The excuse was as good as any. More unusual was that several times throughout the class, I’d caught him staring at me. Not the way some people gazed into space in the general direction of something, but like he was staring right at me. As though he were cataloguing all of my features for a scientific study. Frankly, I found the entire day unsettling.

  “Well, I’m sorry about Dad. Then again, if he was staring at you all day and asking personal questions, at least he has good taste.” He waggled his eyebrows.

  “Eew, gross! Are you suggesting that your dad has the hots for me?”

  Landen laughed out loud, pulled out a chair at the table, and finally hefted his tall body into one. A twenty-three-year-old man, he had a nice body. Leaner than Dash in muscle and bulk, Landen didn’t have a lot of meat on him, but he definitely wasn’t skinny. I think with his studies and his bicycling hobby, the guy probably had a hard time keeping extra weight on. He wore his shape well, and I definitely found him attractive, I just wasn’t personally attracted to him. I didn’t feel that yearning deep down inside the way I did with Dash. Stupid hot yogi.

  “I wouldn’t say he’s into you. Dating a student is not his style. Besides, Mom would kill him.”

  “What does your mom do?”

  “Runs a successful advertising agency here downtown. Represents a lot of big market products. As you can see”—he lifted his hands and gestured around the room—“they do well for themselves.”

  I giggled and sat down in the chair next to him. “That I can see.”

  Landen put his hand over mine on top of the table. “What else can you see?”

  Before I could answer, a door opened and closed, and Professor O’Brien strode in, carrying a handful of textbooks. His eyes went to his son, to me, and then to our clasped hands. He scowled and tossed all of his books on the table.

  “What are you doing here?” His tone was harsh, cold, and directed right at me.

  “I was invited,” I scrambled to answer.

  “Dad. What the hell is wrong with you? You’ve been acting weird all week. And now you’re being rude to Amber.”

  The pained expression I saw in his father’s eyes once before glowed as bright as the moon on a cloudless evening.

  Clearly, something was going on with Landen’s father, and I didn’t want to be in the middle of it. I stood up, looped my shoulder bag over my arm, and scuttled backward. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. Obviously, you two need some time alone,” I said.

  Landen stood up and grabbed my hand. “Amber, no…stay.”

  I shook my head and glanced at his dad. His eyebrows were pulled tight, his lips pinched together into a grimace. The little lines around his eyes were so pronounced I could have traced them from two feet away.

  “No, I’ll go. Let you two talk.”

  Landen’s shoulders dropped a couple inches, his head following right behind. “Fine. I’ll walk you out.”

  Just as I was about to pass by the professor, he grabbed my wrist. “I’m sorry. You just look so much like her. It’s uncanny.”

  “Like who?” I asked, searching his eyes for a glimmer of recognition about whom he might be referring.

  “My Kate,” he whispered, the same pained expression I’d seen several times before when I caught him glancing my way, spilled across his face.

  A giant bowl of ice water could have been poured over my body, and I wouldn’t have felt a thing. Stone. I’d turned completely to stone. Unmoving, unfeeling.

  “Amber?” Landen shook me, one hand warming my shoulder where he held on.

  I didn’t take my eyes off him when I opened my mouth and spoke, “My mother’s name was Kate.”

  His hand came up to his mouth to hold in what I could only assume was a silent cry. Tears filled his eyes but didn’t fall. “My God…”

  * * *

  “And then what happened? Don’t leave anything out!” Genevieve shifted her big belly to a more comfortable position on her bed.

  Right after I left Landen’s house, I jetted home and went straight to my best friend’s place. I sat crossed-legged on her mattress while she rested her ginormous baby-filled belly on a body pillow.

  I pressed my fingers against my temples. “What do you think I did? You know me!”

  She snickered. “You ran.” Her eyes widened. “Like literally this time?”

  I nodded frantically and then lifted the glass of red wine to my lips. I didn’t drink often, mostly a glass with my grandparents when we were having a celebratory dinner. This time, I wanted to
wash away the tension and anxiety crawling all over my skin.

  “Wow. So you’re tweaked because he obviously knew your mother?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  “That’s deep, girl. Really deep. Have you ever known anyone aside from your grandparents who knew her?”

  Inhaling fully, making sure my lungs were filled to bursting before letting the breath go, I thought about it and couldn’t come up with a single name. “No. Even the priest at church has only been around for the past decade.” I felt my shoulders drop as if a two-ton weight held them down.

  “I’m sorry. That must have been hard on you. What are you going to do?” Genevieve asked.

  “Not sure.” I traced the rim of the wine glass methodically.

  Genevieve pinched her brow with two pale tipped fingers. “But you’re going to ask him how he knew your mom, right?”

  I shrugged. It should be such a simple question with an easy answer, but it didn’t feel easy. My heart thumped in my chest, my head ached, and a sour taste filled my mouth.

  Genevieve laid a hand over mine where it rested on my knee. “Babe, this is your chance to learn something new about your mom. This guy probably went to school with her or taught her in a class back in the day. You’re not going to get a chance like this again.”

  Slowly, I rolled my head around to the left and then to the right. A satisfying pop split the air.

  “Oh, honey, you are too tense.” Her tone was edged with worry and concern, two rather regular friends of mine as of late.

  I huffed. “Viv, you don’t know the half of it.”

  Her coal-black eyes seemed to zero in on mine. “Sharing is caring. I’ve got nothing but time on my hands.” She rubbed a few swirls around her belly.

  While I watched her, I could see a small mound pressing her skin outward. I set my glass down on the end table, flopped onto my stomach, and laid my hand over the spot. The baby pushed against my hand, and for a few moments, we played our little game of push and press with one another. I rubbed my cheek against her belly, and Viv put her hand into my hair and started to massage my scalp.