DutyBoundARe

by Sidney Bristol

  Mathieu’s foot fell like a lead weight on the brake, throwing him and Gator forward.

  “Sorry, boy,” he muttered over his shoulder as Gator resituated on the back seat.

  Lisette bolted out from under the awning of the gas station and dove in the passenger seat of the car. She was soaked to the bone, her hair slicked to her cheeks, teeth chattering and make-up smudged around her eyes.

  “Where the fuck have you been?” he practically roared, all the hours of pent-up worry and fears that Seth had found her bubbling out of him in that instant.

  She stared at him for a second as if she didn’t recognize him. “I had dinner with my family.”

  Her family? He gaped at her. Seth knew everything about her family. He glanced over his shoulder, but the rain obscured everything. The skin between his shoulder blades prickled as if they were being watched. It could be his imagination or it could be reality. He had no way to know the truth.

  Mathieu accelerated out of the parking lot and mapped out a path in his head, one that would take them in circles, back track a bit and through some areas where a tail would be incredibly obvious. And it was all completely necessary. She had no idea what kind of danger she’d put herself in. How close he might have come to losing her if Seth had been on her trail at the exact moment.

  “What is your problem?” Lisette snapped as he took a turn too fast.

  “You. You’re my problem.” He slammed his palm against the steering wheel. “Why would you go out like that and not tell anyone where you were going?”

  “What? Are you my keeper now?”

  “Yes.” He pulled into a lonely stretch of open parking spaces on a dimly lit street. “Yes, I am your fucking keeper. You came to me to keep you safe. Me. And if you go off without telling me where or why or what’s going on—I can’t keep you safe.”

  Gator whined from the back seat and the rain pelted the top of the car.

  Lisette stared at him, confusion creasing her brow and pulling one side of her mouth up as if she wanted to speak but didn’t know what to say. He stared at her, breathed in her scent. She was safe. There wasn’t a scratch on her.

  He reached for her then, pulling her halfway across the center console and sealing his mouth over hers. Her skin was slick with rain he sucked away. Her hair twined around his fingers, as if seeking a permanent connection. He drank her in, soaking up her presence and goodness, soothing the raw edges and the strain on his nerves the last few hours of searching had wrought on him.

  Lisette pushed him back, panting for breath. “What the fuck, Mathieu? What’s going on?”

  “I didn’t know where you were.”

  “You didn’t know where I was for the last eight years.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s different now.”

  Her gaze narrowed and she licked her lips. The tension between them stretched tight. Couldn’t she tell how it was different? Didn’t she want to see where that went? Or had she realized what a wreck he was?

  “I had dinner with my parents,” she said into the near silence.

  “Why would you do a thing like that?” He groaned and shifted in his seat. Just kissing her made him hard. “Don’t you get it? Seth knows all about your family. If you go to them, he might find you. Track you from there to here, or wherever.”

  “Wait, how does Seth factor into this?” Her brow scrunched farther.

  Shit.

  “Mathieu, what’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”

  He couldn’t tell her the whole truth. He wouldn’t have her in fear of her life, but he could give a partial truth. “I looked into him a bit.”

  “Mathieu!”

  “What? I had to know if what you were saying was real. This is one seriously fucked up mother fucker. I’m worried about you.” There. No mention that Seth was in New Orleans or that Mathieu had spoken to him. Twice.

  “I didn’t ask you to do that.”

  Hadn’t she? Not really, but to him this was the natural course of action. He protected people. Put bad guys in jail. Seth deserved worse.

  “Mathieu, just leave Seth alone. He’ll be deployed soon and then it’ll all be over.”

  He didn’t think so. Seth didn’t strike him as the kind of man to just leave something he’d obsessed over, and Lisette had to be his focus. Why else would the man have come to New Orleans and had a little chat with him this morning? This was serious, and though he’d known it was, now the devil had come knocking on their door and he knew just how bad this could really become.

  Mathieu reached over and took Lisette’s hand in his, squeezing it tightly. What would it be like when it was all over? How would it end? Would there be an ending? He pushed aside the images flitting through his mind of the women he was pretty certain Seth had killed right under Mathieu’s nose. Some of them had Lisette’s face. It was too easy to remember the photographs and superimpose her onto the bodies. He wouldn’t let that happen.

  Lisette pushed the console up and slid across the space, as far as she could go. He wrapped an arm around her and glanced at his mirrors. No one that hadn’t been there before.

  “Hey.” She cupped his cheek, seeming to understand how on edge he was.

  He wasn’t sure who leaned in first, but it didn’t matter. Their lips met and the world regained a little of its goodness. Her breasts pressed against his chest, her other hand gripping his jacket. He pulled her in closer and opened his mouth, seeking more. She gave it, allowing him to suckle her lips, teasing them with the tip of his tongue and a gentle nip.

  Didn’t she know how precious she was?

  He rested his cheek atop her head and blew out a deep breath. She was safe, but his heart wasn’t.

  Hello Kinksters,

  I know I’ve thrown a lot at you guys the last two weeks. I’ve also blogged more than I have all year, and for that I’m sorry. I think I’m finally out of the slump. The world seems a little brighter around me, but maybe that’s because I’ve had some good things happening in my life lately.

  For one, I’m playing again with someone I respect and care deeply about. I’ve also reconnected with my family, which isn’t exactly pleasant, but it is something that does me good. I’ve been missing that factor in my life, even if it’s not a picture perfect one.

  The hardest part about dealing with everything I’ve blogged about lately is the emotional burden. Play has allowed me to excise some of the things I’ve had bottled up inside me for a while now, but I’m beginning to realize that I haven’t been the best steward of how I feel. Why am I blogging about this?

  Because I think many of us think play can fix things. We turn to it to fill something inside of us, and while it satisfies something many of us were born wanting, it’s not everything. The truth is play can stir up more potent emotions than we’re ready to deal with. If you’re honest with yourself and your partner, it can be a beautiful thing to work through in your own time.

  But what about the rest of us?

  I’ve been feeling a lot lately, and I don’t know if playing has muddied the waters or not. I know now my emotional state is a bit rocky. I need to take ownership of that and figure out what my next steps are.

  I’m starting to get excited about the Foot Fetishist book. I snapped this picture of my bare feet for your enjoyment. I think the artists behind the book would have liked it. Tried a new, matte black nail polish. I think it goes pretty well with the checkerboard floor.

  Well, until next time these wandering feet land here again…

  Stay Kinky,

  KG

  It wasn’t Lisette’s best blog. She chewed her lip for a moment and reread the lines, changing a few words, messing with the picture. She’d danced around the issue, and ultimately hadn’t even touched it.

  She didn’t care deeply for Mathieu. She loved him. Was that love blinding her to what was going on? He’d ousted her from his apartment, deposited her here and was up to something. Her unease hadn’t been set
tled by the kisses in the car. She wanted to be sitting on his couch right now, demanding answers. Talking it out. They’d become kind of good at that sort of thing. And now it was gone.

  “Something wrong?” Odalia carried the water bowl to the sink and turned on the tap.

  “Oh, no. Do you have wireless, by any chance?” Lisette shifted and the wooden chair creaked under her.

  Odalia’s kitchen was cute, mostly white cabinets, with a black countertop and patterned backsplash. The little dinette set was for four, but Lisette’s things took up most of the surface area.

  “Yeah, let me grab the password for you. I never remember it.” Odalia set the bowl back on the ground and Creature lapped it up.

  Mathieu had taken Gator home with him, and she missed the dog immensely. What would it be like when she left him? She’d miss both Mathieu and Gator. They’d burrowed their way into her heart so deep she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to let them go.

  She logged into the wifi and put her blog in the queue. The rest of the blog staff could figure out when they wanted to post it. She closed the laptop, gathered her things and tidied up the space. It was growing late, but she wasn’t tired so much as restless.

  Lisette wandered from the kitchen into the living room. The one bedroom condo wasn’t very large, so it wasn’t as if she could escape Odalia unless she went into the tiny powder room under the stairs.

  “What’cha watching?” Lisette settled on the other side of the couch, Creature stretched out between them with his head on Odalia’s thigh.

  “Not this.” She flipped the channel. “Cop dramas always get it wrong.”

  Lisette snorted. “I’m pretty sure TV gets everything wrong. Don’t even ask me how many times I’ve seen people on shows prescribed pills by people who would never have that ability in real life.”

  “Yup. It would be so easy to just have someone work with the script writers that knows their shit, ya know?” Odalia glanced at her, one hand holding the remote, the other propping her chin up.

  “But then it wouldn’t make good TV or something.” Lisette rolled her eyes and watched the channels flip by.

  “Okay, I can’t pretend I’m not curious.” Odalia turned the TV off and twisted to face Lisette. “You’ve been playing with Mathieu, haven’t you?”

  Lisette stared at the other woman. Odalia hadn’t just pushed her off kilter, she’d thrown Lisette over the side of a cliff.

  “Uh, excuse me?” Lisette replied as her mind scrambled to find an out. Her knee jerk reaction was to protect and deflect.

  Odalia rolled her eyes. “Don’t play the ignorance card. Mathieu was born kinky and I know when he’s been playing and when he hasn’t. The vibes he’s been throwing off lately say he’s playing with someone, but it isn’t anyone I know. Which means you.”

  Lisette gulped. “Uh…well…”

  “Look, I’m not going to bust your balls or anything. I’d actually be happy to hear he’s getting a bit of his old self back. He’s been shambling around for months now, all brooding and depressed.” She scratched Creature’s head and the dog thumped the couch with his tail.

  “Have you ever played with him?” The question felt as if it rushed out of her mouth when what she’d meant to say was that, yes, they had been playing.

  Odalia stopped mid-scratch. Her gaze, wide-eyed and surprised, rose to Lisette’s face. “Hell no,” she said with such force it couldn’t be anything except the truth. “Don’t get me wrong. Mathieu is a great Dom and a fucking fantastic cop, but ew. He’s more like my brother. Seriously. Never went there. Never want to. In the spirit of full disclosure, he has done aftercare, but that’s it. We’re more like brother and sister than anything else.” She shuddered and shook her head violently, wisps of hair flying back and forth.

  Lisette laughed. She couldn’t help it. Relief settled inside of her and she relaxed.

  “So you guys have played?” Odalia pressed.

  “Yeah.” Lisette squeezed her eyes closed and rubbed the side of her face.

  “What? Was it bad?”

  Lisette’s eyes snapped open. “No! No, it wasn’t bad. Great, really. Just…I don’t know.”

  “He told us he had a friend from college staying with him. I’m assuming that was a cover.” Odalia grinned and Lisette could all too easily see Leo in it. A sibling with a bit of leverage, ready to torture the other.

  “We actually did know each other in college, so it wasn’t a lie.” She couldn’t help smiling. He’d thought to keep her a secret and now everyone knew.

  “What is the full story then?” Odalia was enthusiastic about Lisette’s role in whatever drama Mathieu’s life was.

  “Nothing too exciting. We dated for a bit. Broke up. Went our separate ways.”

  “And now you’re here because of some crappy ex?”

  Lisette blinked. Mathieu had told her all of that? She’d shared her story on-line with her readers, but that felt more like telling a close friend. Odalia was still a stranger to her. But she was like Mathieu’s sister; they’d both said it.

  “Yeah, Seth was the crappiest.” She raised her arm, sporting the scar.

  “Holy fuck.” Odalia reached across the snoozing dog, took her wrist in hand and examined the scar. “I had no idea it was this bad.” From the stricken expression on her face, Lisette was inclined to believe Odalia.

  “I’m still getting used to it.” She flexed her hand and focused on the feel of muscles, tendons and ligaments doing her bidding. Her arm occasionally got sore, twitched, or ached for no good reason. All little things to get used to or to work out the kinks of.

  “Now I really want to know the full story.” Odalia settled back in her spot across the couch and gave Creature a few scratches.

  “Not a lot to tell. I tried dating a vanilla guy and it blew up in my face. He found out after we broke up how kinky I was and attacked me. I moved. He followed me and assaulted me twice in Chicago before I was hospitalized for the arm. I left as soon as I could. Made some calls and came here.” The story no longer had the bite it had when she’d told Mathieu. Being with him, pushing past what had been done to her, healed little pieces of her.

  “Wait, wait, wait.” Odalia shook her head. “This sounds a lot like…” She peered intently at Lisette. “Are you Kinky Girl from Kinky Girl Blogs?”

  It was Lisette’s turn to blink. This had never happened before. No one had ever put the pieces together before. “Um, yes?”

  “Holy fuck. Does Mathieu know?”

  “You know…” Lisette thought for a moment. “I don’t think he does. He’s kind of a caveman about the internet, though.”

  “Okay, so he wouldn’t know. But I know. Holy hell, woman. When I first got into kink that was the first site that really made sense to me.”

  Lisette grinned. She’d always hoped the frank discussions on Kinky Girl would help someone, she’d just never expected to come face to face with the fruits of her labor.

  “Oh my gosh.” Odalia stared at her, vibrating with excitement. “I’ve been following the latest posts, too. Mathieu is the guy? The one you were talking about?”

  Heat crawled up Lisette’s chest and neck. “Yeah. He’s the guy.”

  He was the guy who’d taken her heart. Again. Protected her when no one else could. And cared for her. It was almost like a fairy tale, except there wouldn’t be a happy ending. No matter how much she accepted she loved him, he couldn’t love her back.

  Mathieu sat in the lone wooden desk chair, in direct line of sight to the front door. All the lights were off, and he had his personal Glock handgun resting on his knee. Gator had calmed down and now lay at his feet. Mathieu kept his gaze on the thin sliver of light under the front door.

  Time ticked by and the comings and goings in the building tapered off.

  He had no way of knowing if Seth would find his apartment, but Mathieu wanted to be ready. What easier way than to solve this whole mess with a bullet to
the skull during a breaking and entering?

  It crept past midnight and Mathieu’s eyelids grew heavy. He jerked his head up a few times, shrugging off the desire to climb into the big, lonely bed. The apartment was lacking without Lisette’s presence. She’d made this a home with nothing more than a few cooked meals and herself. Grandmère would say home is where the heart is. Wherever Lisette was, that was home.

  He needed to get Seth out of the picture before he set out to win Lisette back. It was crazy to think how much she’d changed him in just a handful of days. But maybe they were meant to be. Grandmère could probably tell him, but he doubted she would. She preferred to use her voodoo for healing. Hopefully he wouldn’t need her talents for a long while.

  Mathieu couldn’t offer Lisette a future without safety, and Seth was detrimental to that. Mathieu would need a bigger place for the three of them, but he was ready to put this apartment behind him.

  Footsteps thumped lightly down the hall. Mathieu wouldn’t have noticed except Gator lifted his head.

  Mathieu stroked his Glock with his thumb and blew out a breath.

  The footsteps drew even to his door and stopped. He could see the outline of something blocking the hall light. A figure or form paused in the hall. The doorknob rattled as it was touched, jostled, or tested.

  Mathieu’s attention narrowed to the little gleam of light from the windows off the brass knob. He drew a line straight up, to where he thought might be the head, and lifted his gun. Seth was a killer. He wouldn’t get a warning from Mathieu.

  A chime sliced through the silence and for the breath of a moment all was silent. As abruptly as they’d come, the footsteps moved back the way they’d come, with all the brisk purpose of a person with a mission.