The Beholder

by Connie Hall

  Chapter 8

  Later that night, Nina sat at the kitchen table. She’d stayed well away from Kane most of the day and kept herself busy cleaning the cabin. He had steered clear of her, too, and feigned sleeping. She had just put his supper of steak and French fries on a tray and left it near the sofa so he could eat alone. He had grunted a thank-you as she had hurried out of the room. She really didn’t want him near her while she ate. He’d make her nervous and give her indigestion—among other things.

  She was enjoying eating without his brooding presence near her. In fact, it was a welcome change. She looked out the window at the drifts. Snow weighted down the younger evergreens’ limbs, bowing them until they touched the ground. It really was beautiful, and she might have been able to relax and appreciate it…if Kane Van Cleave weren’t in the other room. But at least she was by herself in the kitchen. She spent a lot of time alone in her job, driving from one assignment to another, and she was alone in the Quiet Place. Alone was comfortable for her.

  The snow and sleet had stopped, but it was still overcast. Gray shadows covered the forest and gave it a deserted and threatening appearance. It was almost sunset, and the dying sun cast purplish blue shadows on the snow.

  She didn’t hear Kane’s footsteps behind her—he prowled rather than walked—but she felt him enter the room. The kitchen suddenly shrunk about six feet on all sides.

  He carried his plate and cup of coffee. He hadn’t touched his food, and he was joining her. Just ducky. So much for peace of mind.

  Thank goodness he’d put on a shirt, but the first few buttons were open in a V. His golden chest hair peeked through. She found it hard not to stare at his chest as he sat down.

  She drew her plate closer to her and felt his left knee brush against her leg beneath the table. Nina felt a small vibe of emotion coming from him, but it was just a brief encounter and their clothes muddied the transmission. She slid her chair back a safe distance.

  She stared out the window, unwilling to speak to him first. He’d been so indifferent and distant throughout the day that he’d have to initiate the conversation. She suddenly lost her appetite. He stared at the table and sipped his coffee. The pair of them made a gloomy tableau.

  Finally he said, “Good coffee.”

  “Thanks.” She kept the response offhand.

  “Steak and French fries are good, too. Where’d you learn to cook?”

  Okay, he was actually talking to her, complimenting her instead of threatening or ordering her around. He must be up to something. Had he come in here because her power drew him, or was he feeling gregarious? The last thought almost made her giggle out loud. She decided to roll with it and see what happened.

  “My grandmother taught me and my sisters to cook—well, all except my oldest sister, Fala,” she said. “The Guardian?”

  Nina nodded. “Takala teases Fala about that all the time. Guardians can do anything and everything except cook. But I’m certain Fala could cook, if she tried. She just hates it and never applied herself in the kitchen. Stephen will have to do all the cooking in that family, or they’ll be eating out a lot.” She grinned, thinking about the couple.

  “Stephen?” He looked mildly curious.

  “Her new husband. He’s a warlock. I’ve never seen two people more in love. Stephen would do anything for Fala—including taking cooking lessons.”

  “The novelty hasn’t worn off yet.”

  “And it won’t,” she said adamantly and added, “Stephen loves Fala. His love will never wear off. If I wanted a husband, then I’d find someone just like Stephen.” Another handsome face materialized in her mind, one with tawny long hair and brutal jungle-green eyes. She forced it away.

  “So, you’re content without male companionship?”

  “I have Koda.”

  “I’d like to meet this spirit.”

  He wouldn’t. He was just being spiteful, sneering like all get-out. “If you do,” she said, “you’ll probably be dead.”

  That quieted him. Nina chugged the last of her lukewarm coffee and got up and put her plate in the sink. She began running water to do the dishes. She felt his eyes on her, making her squirm and play with her cup handle, and she said, “You should probably go lie down.”

  “Been doing that all day. I’d rather stay here.”

  “Annoying me?”

  “Yes.” A sliver of a grin slipped across his lips, but it didn’t stay there. He stood, favoring his wounded side, and brought his plate to her. He grabbed a dish towel and waited patiently for her to pour dishwashing liquid in the water.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Helping you.”

  “You shouldn’t be up.”

  “I can do this.”

  They stopped speaking and worked together, but it was in no way a companionable twenty minutes. She was too aware of him standing beside her, too cognizant of his eyes watching her like a cat watched a caged bird.

  She was careful not to touch him when she handed him the dishes and pot, but he towered over her, and his nearness was like an unavoidable brick wall that filled her personal space. She sighed inwardly when they finished the job.

  “Is it possible to take a shower?” she asked, filling in the silence.

  “The heater should have hot water now. You’ll find Daphne’s clothes in the closet. She was taller than you, but you might find something to use.”

  And prettier, Nina finished his unspoken thought. He hadn’t gotten rid of her clothes. He must have cared deeply for her, for all his ridiculing of love. Before she knew it, Nina found herself asking, “Is that a picture of your wife in the bedroom?”

  “Yes.”

  “How did you meet?”

  “Our marriage was arranged at our births.”

  “Is that something that happens in a lot in prides?”

  “With alphas it does. Keeps the pure lines going.”

  Nina wondered if he could marry a human but kept that question to herself. “So she was an alpha female?” she asked. “Yes.”

  “Did you have children?”

  “Daphne miscarried three times. Then we stopped trying. It happens with purebred seniphs sometimes. It’s gotten to the point that we’re often forced to breed with humans to introduce new blood into our genome.”

  “What are the offspring?”

  “They can be human or shifter.”

  “So you have humans in the pride?” This was all new to her. She’d never known any of this.

  “They become outcasts. Some leave the pride to live with their own kind.”

  She heard herself asking, “Wasn’t it hard marrying someone you didn’t know? Did you care for Daphne?”

  “Not at first. We were complete strangers. She came from a pride in Russia. Of course, after we married, we grew closer. Then she got depressed when she couldn’t carry children. She begged me to take another mate, but I wouldn’t….” His brows met in a pensive line, his words trailing off.

  Nina saw that she had dredged up painful memories for him and regretted it. He’d stuck by Daphne; that was admirable. Emotional connections didn’t drive the seniph world. It seemed acceptable to have arranged marriages and take a new mate if the first one didn’t produce. But Kane seemed to have more human ideals.

  The awkward silence that followed intimate disclosure hovered between them. Nina wanted to put her arms around him and hold him and help him forget his tragic past. Instead she quickly said, “Thank you for helping with the cleanup.” She dried her hands, folded the towel, then hurried out.

  She couldn’t wait to get away from him and feel her body settle down again. He caused all sorts of butterflies and heart palpitations and unwanted yearnings. She needed distance between them. Lots of it.

  Kane watched her leave, her hair almost touching her bottom. He didn’t know which bothered him more: his wounds, the fact he couldn’t stay away from her or the desire she fueled in him. He felt the evidence of it aching between his legs.

/>   Thoughts of her naked in the shower would drive him nutty. He couldn’t even stay out of the same room she occupied, and he’d found himself crawling into the kitchen to be near her like a lovesick human and regurgitating things in his past. If he stayed in the cabin, he’d end up doing something stupid like joining her in the shower. He would conquer this attraction to her, even if it killed him.

  He decided to check the gasoline level of the generator so she’d have enough hot water to bathe with. And, too, he could see exactly what lies she’d been telling him earlier when she’d been frightened of something outside.

  He ignored the pain in his chest and arm and put on his boots, then stepped out the back door. Cold air bit at his face and hands as he strode through the snow.

  He smelled Ethan right away. The familiar musk of him lurked in the air. He’d been in gleaner form, and he hadn’t cloaked himself. That’s what had spooked her. Ethan could have harmed her, but he hadn’t. A familiar possessiveness caused him to grit his teeth. He didn’t want to feel anything for Nina Rainwater, but somehow he’d grown to care for her. A big mistake. Ethan was his first priority.

  Why hadn’t Ethan come in? They had hunted around the cabin as boys, cooked many a marshmallow in the fireplace together and tried to scare each other with ghost stories. He certainly had to have sensed Kane was inside, willing to help him.

  Kane topped off the gasoline level in the generator, then followed the tracks. Hopefully Ethan was nearby, waiting for him. He thought of Nina. She wasn’t going anywhere. And if he found Ethan without her help, all the better.

  Nina rubbed her hair with the towel, still shivering even though she wore two pairs of leggings, knee socks and a pair of borrowed Liz Claiborne jeans from Daphne’s closet. They were too long, and she’d had to roll them up a couple of times. Her own corduroy slacks she’d draped on the end of the bedpost to dry.

  Daphne had very expensive taste in clothes, all designer stuff. And it had been a little eerie going through her things. But Nina needed clothes desperately, and warmth, and Kane had invited her to use them. Having seen Daphne’s belongings, Nina had tried to visualize what life had been like as Kane’s wife, wanting children and the pressure of not being able to give him a child. The expectations alone must have been hard on her. Nina knew what it was like to be flawed, overlooked and put aside. But Kane hadn’t done that with Daphne. His wife’s own self-abasement must have gone a long way in feeding her depression. Nina knew that in her own case her powers and the love for her family were the governing factors keeping her on an even keel. Everyone needed their Prozac in whatever form available.

  While rummaging though Daphne’s closet, she had found a black turtleneck and a wool sweater from Ann Taylor. The sweater was too big, just the way she liked it. Daphne must have been a size ten. Nina was a six. She’d also found a pair of knee-high snow boots with a thick lining. They were too big, also. But nothing several pairs of socks couldn’t cure. Growing up, Nina had always gotten her sister’s hand-me-downs, and she’d learned creative ways to make shoes fit.

  She finished towel-drying her hair, then found a brush among some makeup in a drawer. She brushed the tangles out of her hair, then decided to let it dry naturally near the fireplace. When she stepped out into the living room, the emptiness settled along her senses. All she heard was the distant roar of the generator. She had no idea when she had become so cognizant of Kane, but she knew without a doubt he wasn’t here.

  Alarmed now, she looked outside for him. The Jeep hadn’t moved. She went to the back window and peered out. She spotted his deep footprints right away. They followed the gleaner’s.

  His brother might be setting a trap for Kane. She remembered seeing a jacket in Daphne’s closet, and she grabbed it and hurried outside.

  She followed Kane’s tracks into the woods. They led straight up the mountain. Before long she was panting and out of breath and imagining all sorts of horrible scenarios involving Kane: like his brother killing him and his body being fried. Gleaners, she knew, could consume seniphs’ spirits if they were in human form. What if she couldn’t reach Kane in time? What if she failed to get her hands on the gleaner before he burned her to cinders and devoured her spirit?

  She gulped at that thought, but it didn’t slow her down. She waded through the snow. Each step a triumph. She tried to stay in Kane’s footpath, but his strides were much longer than her own. Her feet slipped, and several times she stubbed her toe on a log.

  She saw movement ahead of her and was overjoyed when she saw Kane’s large form. He faced her, leaning against a tree, holding his chest.

  She ran to him and threw her arms around him. “I’m so happy to see you. Are you okay?”

  She crushed herself against his hard body and buried her face in the warmth of his broad chest. His emotions filtered to her, and she sensed disappointment, frustration, confusion and pleasure. Was he actually happy to see her?

  He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. “You came out here to find me?”

  “I was worried.”

  “Were you?” He sounded incredulous and a little gratified. He lifted her chin and searched her eyes for she knew not what. Then he kissed her.

  She let herself enjoy the moment, feeling the power of his lips electrify her, cause her breasts to tingle and a sweet ache to bloom in the pit of her belly.

  His lips were warm and supple, unlike the man himself. The coarse stubble on his cheeks and chin chafed the soft skin on her face and sent a warm prickle down her throat.

  He deepened the kiss, his mouth becoming hungry and ravishing. He tensed all over, his grip on her tightening, trapping her completely. Even if she wanted to, she knew she could not escape him now.

  His damp curly hair touched her cheeks and forehead, whie he ran his tongue along her tight lips until she instinctively opened them.

  He plundered her mouth; then his wide hands explored every curve of her body. She kept waiting to feel the seniph’s ardor, mix with the man’s, but Kane’s passion was stronger, blocking out the beast’s. It grew fearsome, an all-consuming yearning. If she cared to admit it, it thrilled her like nothing she’d ever experienced before. The part of her that wanted to feel desired and beautiful and as tempting as her sisters wanted to stay suspended in his arms forever.

  She’d only dreamed about kisses like this. Sure, she’d let a few boys on the reservation kiss her, but it had never gone past the casual date and door smooch because inevitably one of her sisters would be home and her date would become instantly smitten with them, which had only added to Nina’s shyness and insecurity.

  She felt no such inhibitions now, and she dove her hands in his thick hair and pulled his head closer to her. Her body trembled uncontrollably with desire and longing.

  He moaned as if in pain; then he moved his hands up under her coat, exploring. His palms found her breasts. She arched against him as he kneaded and teased her nipples through her bra until she thought she might scream.

  She ran her hands over his large chest, learning the impenetrable hardness there.

  His breathing grew rapid and shallow, his body trembling from holding back his desire. He growled in a wounded, out-of-control way. Then he cupped her bottom with his hands. Before she knew it, he lifted her up off the ground and set her against a tree trunk. He began moving his erection against the sensitive flesh between her thighs.

  She felt the material of her leggings bunch up inside her thighs, rubbing her in all the right places. She moaned softly and gave herself over to him, unable to think of anything but the waves of yearning he forced inside her.

  “You feel too good,” he moaned, continuing to thrust his hips against her, driving her back against the tree trunk.

  She wrapped her legs around his waist and clung to his neck, feeling the friction of his hardness, moving faster, making her sigh with her own need.

  He cried out, a deep, guttural wail. She felt him pulse against her once, twice; then he was still as death,
panting, his breath like a furnace on her face. In fact, he had warmed her all over.

  The fury of his passion had simmered, and he rested his head against the tree trunk above her and still held her penned against the tree. She could feel his whole body trembling. Nina clung to him, aware they had just shared sex fully clothed.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I was rough. It’s been too long.” He set her down gently, and she saw a wet spot darkening the crotch of his jeans.

  Her knees felt wobbly, and she had to lean against the tree to steady herself. “The rough part wasn’t bad. Maybe a little hurried, though.” She touched his cheek.

  He pulled away from her. A coldness settled over his features, and she knew she had lost him emotionally. Their intimacy was quickly being drained away by his wall of aloofness. In an attempt to reach him again, she tried to stand on her toes and kiss him.

  “No, Nina.” He stepped back, looking at her as if he couldn’t decide whether to grab her again or get as far away as possible. “What just happened shouldn’t have. You charmed me and made me do it.”

  Nina blinked up at him, his rejection stabbing her worse than a blade. “Oh, so now you’re blaming it on my power.” She heard the hurt bubbling up in her own voice.

  “What else was it?”

  “For your information, I’ve never had anyone or anything drawn to me sexually like that. Creatures want to be near me because they trust me. They don’t want to mate with me.” She jammed her arms over her chest and glared at him.

  “Then it must be only carnal lust on my part. I’ve been celibate too long.”

  “Well, then you better go pull another prisoner from your harem.” She wheeled around to leave.

  He caught her shoulder and stopped her. “Why’d you lie to me? You knew he’d been here.”

  “I didn’t tell you for this very reason.” She waved an angry hand toward his wounds. She noticed his shoulder was bleeding again. Abruptly she felt embarrassed and guilt-ridden and hurt by his sudden coldness.

  “You don’t need to worry about me,” he said. “You should be more worried about yourself.”