Who Knew Felix Marr?

by Paul Kelly

  The cell had double beds, one above the other and a bucket in the corner looked as if it had been put there as a toilet, so I looked at the beds and asked my new mate which bed he wanted and he chose the top, which suited me fine as I didn’t care about beds being so used to a park bench myself, but as my mate started to undress he asked me my name and I told him only to find him giggling and I guessed it was because of the silly name I had chosen for myself, but that wasn’t why he was giggling. He told me his name was ‘Smokey’ and he had chosen that name because he was christened ‘Everard... Everard Southdown.. ’ and he had been giggling because he hated the name Everard as people called him ‘Ever Hard’ and that people laughed when they said it. Some even calling him ‘Ever hard-on’ and that made him feel even worse.

  I wished my new friend a good night’s sleep and we settled down for the night.

  The following morning we were allocated various kinds of jobs and I was sent to the kitchen where I did washing up. It was well into the afternoon when I met Smokey again and he told me he had been sent to the library and that was probably because he was already at university where he had just done his first year and he wanted to be an accountant. The library brought back to my mind, the young girl who had seen me at the post office and who had described me to the police, but I didn’t tell Smokey about that part of my life.

  It was much later that afternoon when we had finished our chores and went back to the cell together that I learned that Smokey had been arrested and sent to prison for three years because he had been accused of raping a young girl who was at the university with him, but somehow I couldn’t imagine Smokey being a rapist. .. although that was something that I was unfamiliar with as the girls in my life were hardly that desirable and I felt sure that the gang girls would never have been raped as they were more than willing to get into bed with anyone who asked them. The rape could have been on their part, but never with the chap who had been to bed with them.

  Our conversation went on where we talked to each other about the lives we had led and I found his talk was so much more interesting than mine, as he had been very fond of this girl whom he called Anna and he thought he was in love with her and would have been willing to have had sex with her, but Anna wanted to be a model and her figure was very important to her and sex was the last thing on her mind so Smokey had to abandon all ideas of having sex with Anna and she didn’t even like that. It seemed to me that this girl didn’t know what she wanted but whatever was on her mind, she accused Smokey of raping her and he shook his head when he told me that and swore that the allegation was untrue.

  “But how could she possibly say that you had raped her Smokey? Surely the police would have had a doctor examine her and if she had lost her virginity, then surely she could have been telling the truth?” I asked feeling very innocent as I waited for him to explain...

  “Felix... have you ever been in love with a woman?” he asked me and I shook my head.

  “I’d have loved to have had a girlfriend, but with my looks and my character there was very little chance of that happening to me,” I explained, but Smokey shook his head as he went on talking.

  “Felix. ..please don’t think what I am going to say is that I am gay... because I certainly am NOT, but you are very handsome even if you are not aware of that and I think many girls would look at you and tell you what I have just said.”

  Smokey’s comments made me blush as I had never ever felt that I was anything to look at and looks had never ever entered my mind. I was content to be what I was, but he went on to answer my question and that answer did really surprise me.

  “I have two brothers, Adrian and Gerard and a sister named Emily and we are very close Felix. My sister Emily is a teacher and Adrian is a soliciter... it is Gerard who at the moment is studying to become a doctor and he resides in France. My mother died four years ago but my father has his own business as an accountant and naturally they were upset when they heard of my ‘sins’... but my sister, was more annoyed than my brothers appeared to be and she made further enquiries after I was arrested and it now turns out that Anna has become quite a famous model but she has SEVERAL boyfriends... and we don’t know even now if she is a virgin or not. I am here because she has accused me and the law have accepted what she has told them and I am now in here for three years.”

  I felt very sorry for Smokey when he told me that and I knew there was nothing I could personally do to help him, but it seemed that his sister, Emily was very determined that he was innocent and she had set out to prove that so that he could be released from prison before his time was up, but I still felt that if the police had examined Anna, she should have remained a virgin if what she told the police was true and Smokey had abused her, but when I continued to ask Smokey about this matter, he told me that a woman could conceal her virginity if she wanted to do and I was lost for words or thoughts by which to help Smokey anymore, but Smokey seemed to appear much better thinking that at least someone like me thought that he could have been innocent of the crime and he asked me about my own life but there was very little I could tell him and in comparison to his life with university and family in the background, I had nothing but a parentless background and a collection of small crimes that constituted a life for me and of course that murder at the post office, where I had been considered to be a potential gangster with hopes of becoming a man when all the time I was a fraud; a fake with bugger all else and not even a dream of any future. I could not read a book unless it was printed in large letter and I couldn’t write a single word without looking it up in a dictionary AND THEN I HAD TO ASK SOMEONE TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE WORD MEANT... Prison it seemed would be the life for me and I was at least grateful for the life of Smokey Southdown as a friend which would never have happened in the first place if I hadn’t been convicted for some prison sentence, so there was that, at least to be grateful for and I told Smokey as much as I could about my meagre existence and he looked at me with sorrow in his face.

  The other two who were arrested with us were simply two more criminals who would have to behave themselves until circumstances would allow them some sort of a freedom where it would be hoped that they would have been converted from their tedious lives into something similar to Smokey Southdown.

  Life in the prison went on without much excitement until one day when I was doing my kitchen work, I met Andrew Johnston who had arrived at the kitchen after I had been there for nearly a month. I noticed how the cook pushed Andrew around as this had never happened to me since I had started my work as a washer-up and I couldn’t understand this aggresive attitude to a prisoner who looked so ‘normal’ if any prisoner could be described as that... until Andrew very quietly told me one afternoon, just as we were both finishing our work and were entitled to a cup of tea, that he had been arrested one evening in a public toilet, where he was accused of accosting another man in some sexual way and I presumed by what he told me that he was gay... but I was entirely wrong. Andrew, whom I now called him Andy was married and had two little children, but the man who was involved in this crime was not just an ordinary man, using the toilet as men do, but he was a policeman who was not dressed in his police uniform and Andy did not recognise him as a policeman until later and it was he who instigated the sexual scene when he forced Andy into a toiler cubicle and forced Andy to perform a sexual act on him, saying that he would report him to the police and have him arrested for being the perpetrator in the act, if he did not agree to what this man wanted him to do. Andy was near to tears when he told me his story as his wife had been told by the police that he was a sexual predator and she should be ashamed of him and take particular care of the children who were both little boys. Andy had tried to convince his wife of the truth of the mater, but the police took favour to one of their own kind, simply because on the night of the incident, the policeman was not in his uniform when he went into the toilet.

  After our quick ‘cuppa’ Andy
and I went back to the kitchen for another hours work before he went back to his cell and I went to mine, but I asked Smokey what he thought of the incident and like me, he felt very sorry for Andy and just wished that he was in a cell with another prisoner who was not gay or there could have been further trouble there if that was the case.

  Later that afternoon, Smokey decided he would teach me how to read and write and we both went off to the library. I was full of anticipation because I knew if I could learn to read and write even a little, it would make a great deal of difference to my life whenever I was released from prison... if that were ever possible as my hopes had faded by this time, however as we went into the library I felt sure that it was Andy who was sitting there with another prisoner and as they were talking quietly together, I gathered that they must be friends, but as I passed them, trying to be moving quietly without being noticed, it was Andy who called out to me and someone shouted ‘QUIET’ in the background, but I went up to the table where Andy was sitting and he stood up to welcome me, introducing his friend who was his cell companion as Freddie, and they had been friends together before either went in to prison, so Andy was pleased that he could share a cell with Freddie as they had both worked together in a building site. Andy was a plasterer and Freddie had been his boss I introduced Smokey and we all sat down together.

  Apparently Freddie had been in prison before Andy. He had been sent to prison for some financial dealings connected to his building business but we got no details of what that was... but when he saw Andy in the kitchen, he asked the prison governor if he could share a cell with Andy as they had been working together before they were arrested and the governor saw no reason why they shouldn’t be together and Andy’s old cell mate was moved to another cell.

  We all got on favourably together and both Andy and Freddie could already read and write.

  It was Freddie who spoke first and told us that he had known Andy for over four years as Andy’s wife was Freddie’s cousin and that they worked together on the building site, but Freddie added that he had an argument with one of the builders about wages and leave and had knocked him down accidentally where the police were called and he was taken to court where he had to spend fourteen months in prison, but Andy must have told him about his own arrest, as Freddie immediately asked me if anything could be done for Andy because of the distress caused to his wife, but I looked at Smokey who returned the glare and we both shook our heads.

  It was Freddie who asked the next question and Andy sat up in his chair as if all was lost for him and he would simply have to do the sentence of eighteen months and hope that everything would be alright with his family when he got out from prison, but he went on to explain his situation further by telling us that he did not know that the man who approached him in the toilet was a policeman as he was dressed in ordinary clothes and had no uniform on him, but what was even further... Andy thought it would be best to ignore the incident and say nothing to his wife when he got home, but two days later when he was working on the building site and another builder had fallen from a scaffolding. The ambulance called accompanied by two policemen and one of the policemen came up to Andy and said he would like to have another go with him that evening when he was free and it was then that Andy could recognise the face of the man who had approached him in the toilet. When Andy told him to get lost, the policeman grabbed Andy by the arm and said he was going to arrest him for an inappropriate action towards a police officer and he blew a whistle and the other policeman came on the scene again, but this time to hear the accusations of a sexual attempt to corrupt his other officer and that was when Andy was arrested.

  Smokey was astounded and showed his anger as we sat together and I knew that I had gathered a few more friends since I was in prison. If life went on like this, half of the prison inmates would be in favour of strike and then where would I be, however, there was one prison guard who seemed somewhat different to the rest of the guards and he was friendly towards most of the prisoners, seeming to understand that many of them should never have been in prison at all and very often he would tell us of little incidents that happened in the prison that all the other guards would never have thought to tell us and we relied on him for any ‘secrets’ that had occurred and which, if revealed might cause serious embarrassment to many of the other guards. We never ever got to know this guard’s name but we called him Ali.

  It was when we had all settled the discussion and I went aside with Smokey to begin to learn my reading, that I told him I was in prison for eighteen years and then I had to tell him of the reason why I had originally been arrested, and he could not understand how anyone could kill another person with a gun that had no bullets, but the arrest had been made and the jury had made their decision and there was nothing more to be done... but Smokey asked me then if I had made this plan to murder this woman on my own or had someone suggested it might be a good thing to do and when I looked at him being unable to understand exactly what he meant by ‘another person’ he told me that having known me even in the short time we had been friends, he found it hard to believe that with my character, I would even have thought of doing such a thing and it was then that a picture of Charlie came to mind and I remembered that when I had left the post office after the shooting and had removed my balaclava, there was no sign of Charlie... only the face of the girl from the library; the girl who said she had never before known anyone with the name Felix Marr and I wished she would forget that incident. If only she could, I might have a chance of proving my innocence and say that I had never been near the bloody place... IF ONLY SHE COULD.

  Chapter Eight

  Freddie was the first of All my prisoner friends to be released after he had served his eighteen months sentence and I knew Andy would be the next to go and then Smokey would follow, but I had a long, long time to wait before anything exciting was going to happen to me and I felt rather sorrowful, even if by this time I had got to know several other prisoners who could be regarded as my friends... after All, I was only a poor ignorant ex- gang member with no life that you would consider to be worthwhile or admirable in any way. I was the only one of my recent friends who had committed murder... according to the jury, but I had a great surprise just before Andy was waiting for his release which was to be in a few weeks time and he rushed into the cell waving his hands in the air and shouting something that was so incomprehensible that I couldn’t understood a word he said, but he told me to meet him in the mess hAll where he seen something that made him jump for joy.

  I went to the mess hall as Andy wished and he took me by the arm and told me to look carefully at something or somebody in the far corner. I looked but could see nothing that I hadn’t seen before except perhaps a new face that I was sure would have been a recent prisoner and then Andy tightened his grip on my arm and whispered something into my ear.

  “It’s him,” he said, “The bastard who fucked me in the toilet... and now he has been arrested himself and one of the guys in the kitchen told me that he was a police officer of quite high rank who had been arrested because he had been buggering young boys for the past six years and he will be in prison for eight years.” I could have got a better look at the guy that Andy pointed out to me but there was a rather buxom prison guard standing in from of him and I waited for the guard to move away, but he seemed to be scratching his arse in some way and I wished he would move away quickly... but he didn’t. They say patience is a virtue but I was desperate to have a look at this new prisoner and this bloody guard kept scratching and it was at least ten minutes before I could get a look and then when I did, although it was the first time I had seen him, this prisoner did look like a bastard who would do anything for his kicks, whatever they might be. Andy was fidgeting beside me and anxious to go over and knock shit out of this new prisoner, but I held his arm fast, as I could almost feel the tension he was going through and I could understand exactly how he felt; pleasure and hatred at the same time and I thought
as he was due to be released in a few week’s time, he might get some sort of compensation for the wrongful arrest that he had endured, but our old guard friend Ali told us that as Andy only had a few more weeks of detention that he thought there would be no compensation and the fact that the jury had concluded that as Andy had participated in the toilet sexual activity, it would be best if nothing more was said or done until Andy was actually released and then if he wished, he might pursue the matter through a solicitor or lawyer, but that even then, there would be a cost and the effort may not be a wise thing to do.

  Andy left the prison and thankfully his wife was waiting for him and they were happily reunited.

  My return to our cell made Smokey seem a little distressed as every time a prisoner was discharged it was like a thorn in his flesh, having to wait still longer before he would be free again, but every dog has his day and Emily came to visit her brother with some very sweet news for his aching ears. The beloved Anna who was anxious to keep her figure and who had accused Smokey of having buggered up her plans was seen in a supermarket by Emily and her brother Adrian and she looked to be at least fifteen stone and had two children walking by her side. When Smokey returned to our cell he wasn’t walking, he was skipping with joy and when he told me about Emily’s visit, we both hugged each other and realized that even although it would be about another fourteen months before he would be released from prison, the waiting had a certain sense of satisfaction.

  Further to Smokey’s joy, I too had a visitor that brought much pleasure to my life. It was Travis... and he told me that Charlie had been taken ill with a sudden stroke and had died in hospital but had confessed in writing to the murder of Mrs.Madden at the post office as he was the one who had a bullet in his gun and he had done that in defiance of Angus as he thought that he would be a better leader to the gang than Angus thought he was and it was with this news that Travis told me I should expect to be released from Prison very soon after the news had been given to the police authorities.