A Time to Heal

by Claire Rayner

  “Er—Oscar—Professor Bell’s away. We might be able to use his office,” she said, and led the way across the hall toward it.

  “I know,” he said. “That’s one of the reasons I’m here. No, don’t look so alarmed. You will, I promise you, understand. Ah, yes. Miss Manton, isn’t it?”

  Miss Manton had surged to her feet, and was standing in front of Oscar’s office door in an obviously protective fashion, but Sir Daniel smiled at her and said easily, “Dr. Berry wants to talk to me in here for a little while. We won’t require anything, thank you.” And although he didn’t touch her, it was as though he had physically brushed her aside as he opened the office door, and held it invitingly for Harriet.

  “Do let me take your coat,” he said, and obediently she let him remove it from her shoulders and watched him as he hung it, and then his own, on Oscar’s coat rack.

  “Now, do let’s be comfortable, shall we?” He looked around the room. “As comfortable as possible, that is. This armchair for you, I think, and I’ll be content here on the comer of the desk.”

  She sat and looked at him, feeling slightly stunned, and he stared back at her for a long moment, and then said rather solemnly, “Dr. Berry, I owe you an apology.”

  “Oh? Do you? I hadn’t thought so.”

  “Then you are indeed a very charming lady. Very. I have been feeling—well, if I say I behaved as I did because I was so anxious to secure your services, perhaps you’ll forgive me.”

  “Really, Sir Daniel, you’ll have to be a great deal more explicit if you’re not to lose me entirely,” she said, and let some of her irritation creep into her voice.

  “I do understand. Briefly, then. I apologize to you for behaving in so cavalier a fashion about your father-in-law, Mr. Berry. I could and, of course, should have stretched a point and found a way to circumnavigate those rules. It can be done, and it shall be done. I have come today to tell you that there is a bed for your father-in-law at Whyborne, in Dr. Ross-Craigie’s unit, as soon as he is fit enough to travel there.”

  “You—but—what about the costs?” Harriet said, knowing she sounded stupid, but not knowing how to seem otherwise. “My financial circumstances remain unchanged. I can’t possibly—”

  He raised both hands in gentle rebuke. “Please, my dear, I hope I don’t seem to you to be so—no, no! Do please forget the question of costs. Mr. Berry will be treated completely free of any charge. There will be no problem on that score.”

  “Why?” She leaned back in her chair, beginning to feel a little less bewildered. His urbanity was so much in evidence, his pleasure in the conversation so apparent, that she felt less vulnerable. He’s wheeling and dealing again, she thought, and he thinks he’s going to win this, whatever it is.

  “You wouldn’t believe that it was due to a bad conscience? That I knew I’d attempted to—ah—use a form of blackmail on you, and felt guilty about it?”

  “No, I wouldn’t believe that. And you don’t expect me to, either. Do you?”

  He laughed with real enjoyment. “No. No, indeed. I’d be most disappointed in you if you did. You are in many ways a gentle person, Dr. Berry, not at all the stereotype of the successful hard-hitting top-of-her-tree lady. You told me you were no businesswoman, and you were absolutely right. But under the gentleness, there’s obviously a very shrewd mind.”

  “You still haven’t answered my question.”

  “No, I haven’t, have I? Well, if it’s not sheer guilt, or sheer altruism—”

  “That I could never believe in.”

  “No? Then you misjudge me. I am capable of it. But this time it isn’t altruism—not obviously so, though it will be in the long run. I’m quite determined that you shall come and work for Whyborne, in order that your considerable scientific mind be given the research possibilities it deserves, and thus the world be given the vitally important fruits of that mind—”

  “Sir Daniel, please, this is—”

  “—so I intend to use every possible—ah—lever I can to get you out of here.”

  “And you think that definitely accepting my father-in-law as a patient will make me come?”

  “Oh, no!” he said cheerfully. “That’s almost immaterial, now. Your father-in-law will very soon achieve the status of a staff member’s relation, I have not the least doubt, because I’m quite certain, now, that you’ll agree to accept my offer. And when I tell you why, you will also see why I came in the sure knowledge that Professor Bell is away.”

  “Well?”

  He looked at her, suddenly serious and put his head on one side so that the light from the window shone on the sleekness of his hair.

  “This may be a little painful for you, in one way. You’re a very loyal person, as I well know, and I’m afraid I must tell you that you’ve been badly let down. But better to know now than later. Well, Dr. Berry, yesterday I met Professor Bell in London. We were both attending a Department of Science meeting. I have some small—ah—influence in those particular corridors of power. And he was at some pains to tell me that you had failed. That some of your animals had died of an unexpected very virulent recurrence of their disease, and that at this very moment James Ferris is here under observation, because you expect his disease to recur, also. Professor Bell pointed out that I would hardly want to maintain my offer to you under these circumstances, and assured me that he would be happy to tell you, on his return from London tomorrow, that my invitation had been withdrawn.”

  20

  HER FIRST REACTION was to call him a liar. He sat there, so smooth, so rich in style, so altogether hateful, telling her lies. And she almost opened her mouth to say so.

  But she did not, for somewhere deep in the recesses of her mind she could see the whole little scene, exactly as it must have been. Oscar, as elegant in his way as Sir Daniel, standing close enough to him for his greater height to give him some advantage, but not quite achieving it; the general chat on apparently unimportant matters that was really a jockeying for position, and then, Oscar, choosing his moment as skillfully as he could, dropping the news so gently, so sadly, so affectionately, even. And Sir Daniel, nodding and smiling and deciding how he would use the information, already weighing in his mind the pros and cons of Harriet Berry, that prime piece of stock in the meat market. Not quite as prime as she had been perhaps, not now, but still worth keeping a finger on, in case some other shopper got there.

  “Stupid Oscar!” she thought, staring dumbly at the man sitting so tidily on the corner of the desk. “Stupid to play such games with a man so far out of his class.”

  Sefton smiled at her, very kindly. “I’m truly sorry to have to tell you so … unpleasant a piece of news. It’s never agreeable to be told that a person to whom one has given one’s loyalty values it so little. I hope you won’t hate me for being the source of such knowledge. It happens that way sometimes.”

  “No. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate people very easily. It’s not one of my skills.” She paused, watching him thoughtfully. “Sir Daniel, why should you—I’m a little puzzled. You’ve been told I’ve failed. That my treatment is not as effective as we’d hoped. And no one’s likely to pay a great deal of money for the privilege of being a research patient in a project that might leave them no better off than they were before. Yet you’re not withdrawing your offer to me? Why not?”

  “But you haven’t failed, have you? Nothing like it! You’ve had a setback, perhaps, but that isn’t anything to make me panic—whatever effect it may have on other people. Actually, it hasn’t really worried Professor Bell, I suspect, for all he used such emotive terms in telling me of what had happened. He was the one to use words like failure, and dead-end research—”

  “He said that?” she asked softly.

  “I’m sorry, but yes, he did. I’m afraid so. But, you know, I don’t think he really meant it. That is, he meant me to believe he did, but for himself—he believes your treatment is basically successful, that you’re on the right track. I’m sure of that.
”

  “Because he tried so hard to persuade you to stop trying to get me at Whyborne?”

  “Partly that. And partly because he’s managed to convince his masters in Whitehall that your work is good. They’d never have agreed to what they have unless he’d been very persuasive. And even Professor Bell couldn’t coax money of that order out of those hard-headed bureaucrats without having a very passionate belief in what he was saying.”

  “It is a great deal, isn’t it?” she said carefully.

  He laughed. “Oh, dear, Dr. Berry, I shouldn’t be amused, but I am I’m afraid. You really aren’t very good at this, are you? You knew nothing whatsoever about the extra money Bell has managed to get out of Blumer and his boys. Did you?”

  “I—I had heard that—I knew that Professor Bell had spent a lot of time in London lately. And it’s been pretty general knowledge around the Establishment that he’s probably managed to get an increase in resources. He’s allowed me more, certainly.”

  “But you, personally—are you going to get any more out of it?” he asked softly. “Not just for your work?”

  “Why should I? If I were just interested in my own pocket, I would have come to you as soon as you held out your lure, wouldn’t I? I’m not interested—”

  “No?” He raised one eyebrow. “Perhaps you will be when you hear that Professor Bell will gain from it, then, even if you won’t. His own salary has been increased to match the stature of the new financial structure of the Establishment.”

  “You have been listening to a lot of private conversations, haven’t you? It really is remarkable how many facts of this sort one person can pick up with a little judicious prying!”

  “Now, I know you’re upset, my dear Dr. Berry, but you really mustn’t be spiteful. It doesn’t suit you! And I do want to be able to enjoy a happy working relationship with you at Whyborne. It is half the battle, don’t you agree? Well, now—” He stood up, and straightened his jacket carefully before going to the coatstand and collecting his property. “I must leave you. Professor Bell will be back tomorrow and I’m sure you’ll want to talk to him immediately. I’ll be waiting at Whyborne to hear from you, and I know what it is you’ll be calling to tell me, hmm? How could it be otherwise, now? Goodbye, Dr. Berry—” And he held out his hand.

  She didn’t move, but sat staring up at him, consideringly. Then after a moment she smiled a little, and said, “Before you leave—I’d like you to come to the ward to meet Sam Lemesurier. He’s looking after my father-in-law at present. You can make direct arrangements with him about the transfer. I think he’ll be fit to be moved fairly soon.”

  “Now, that really is unworthy of you, my dear! You don’t have to make any attempts to force me to keep my promise! I said Mr. Berry would be treated—”

  “Free of charge.”

  “Free of charge, and so he will be. I’ll gladly meet your Mr. Lemesurier, but there’s no need. The arrangements can be put in hand as soon as you choose. The admissions people at Whyborne are expecting a call from you, and they will do the rest. It’s out of my hands now.”

  “And my present research—the failed work. I’d be able to complete it at Whyborne? You’d agree to buy my animals from Brookbank? You’d agree to my continuing with Mr. Ferris?”

  “Of course! As I say, I have no fears about the progress of your work, none at all. If these monkeys die, if Mr. Ferris dies, the next will survive. As long as you’re able to continue your research. That’s the important thing.”

  “Yes,” she said, and stood up. “That’s the important thing. Very well, Sir Daniel. I’ll contact you—after I’ve spoken to Oscar, of course. Goodbye.”

  “Naturally after you’ve spoken to Professor Bell! Goodbye, Dr. Berry.” He took her hand and held it between both of his. “This will, I know, be the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship–working relationship—for all of us, I’m quite sure. We’ll be able to forget the—um—unpleasantnesses that went before, and start out new and fresh. I for one am looking forward to it immensely.”

  Theo looked at her sharply over the top of his mask when she arrived at the animal rooms and began to scrub up, ready to cope with her own list.

  “You were held up, weren’t you? I called in to the ward to see you, but you didn’t go to see Mr. Ferris.”

  “No, I couldn’t manage it after all. I’ll go as soon as we’re finished here. Catherine, you can start the anesthetic on my first one, please. Which is that, Theo? Second case?”

  He granted an assent, and returned to his work, and she thrust her arms into the gown the new young assistant technician was holding ready for her, feeling a certain wry pleasure. Theo knew perfectly well that Sir Daniel had been here, she was quite certain, for Theo was as gifted as Sir Daniel himself in digging out information. And now he was consumed with curiosity, and she found herself enjoying the knowledge of that with what was almost malice. She smiled into her mask, and began to put on her gloves.

  It was past six by the time they had finished the day’s operations on the animals, and the collection of lymph nodes, mesenteric biopsies and blood samples were neatly stacked and refrigerated for the next day’s work on them. She went round the pens, checking on all the animals that had undergone surgery that day, making sure they had all recovered fully from their anesthetics before leaving them to the care of John Caister and his assistant (and she was amused to see how much dignity John had developed, now that he was no longer the most junior member of the unit’s staff) to go over to the ward.

  Mr. Ferris was sitting up in an armchair, watching a television play, his supper tray on the table beside him, and he got up and switched it off as she came in.

  “No need for that!” she said cheerfully. “I won’t be here long. I just wanted to see how you were, and to tell you about tomorrow’s investigations.”

  “That’s all right,” he said listlessly. “I wasn’t watching it, any’ow. Load of old codswallop, all of it. Some bird in this play, looks like she’s never ’ad so much as a cold in the ’ead, and she’s supposed to ’ave three months left to live, so she’s rushin’ around doing good to other people. I ask you! Did you ever ’ear of such a load of old crap? If you’ll forgive the expression.”

  “I’ll forgive it. And you’re right—it usually is. How are you? Bored out of your mind yet?”

  He grinned, but it was a lackluster effort. “Bloody near. It’s the most—well, I don’t see no one but all you lot, all day, do I? And ’ow much time have you got to spare? Sweet fanny adams, that’s ’ow much.”

  “I know, it must be pretty hellish for you, and I’m sorry. But I’ll tell you one thing—it does mean you’re fit. Ill people don’t have the energy to feel bored.”

  He brightened. “There’s a thought. All right—I’ll go on bein’ bored and I won’t complain about it. But don’t expect no miracles in the way of the old cheerful chappie style. I don’t seem to be quite so much of a Polly as I was, one way and another.”

  “You’re not doing badly,” she said, and began to check through the pile of reports waiting for her in his notes. So far he seemed perfectly fit, certainly; there was no evidence of any disease anywhere, yet. But looking at him, she felt a momentary stab of real fear. He was sitting in the armchair again, his head resting on the back and his eyes closed, and there was a waxen look about him, a thickening of the skin that looked wrong, unhealthy.

  But that was merely subjective, an emotional response that had nothing of science in it, and she was annoyed with herself for producing it; it was getting more and more difficult to separate the scientific part of her from the rest of her personality, and what she was coming to know of the rest of her personality she disliked. Watching him, lying there with his eyes moving slightly below the thin stretched lids, she thought bleakly, I wish I’d stayed a G.P. I wish I’d never started any of this. I wish I were a different sort of person—and then almost physically shook herself.

  “I must be more tired than I thought,” sh
e said aloud. “I’m sitting here and wandering in my mind. Tomorrow, we’ll be taking specimens for the first vaccine preparation, Mr. Ferris. Do you remember that drill? You were pretty ill when we did it last time, but—”

  He opened his eyes sharply. “Then you’ve found something? You’re going to have to start treatment again?”

  “No, no,” she said soothingly. “This is just an in-case measure, I assure you. Just in case—” But he looked at her with his eyes wide with anxiety, and she knew he didn’t believe her.

  “I’m doing my best!” she cried sharply. “I’m doing my best! I can’t do more—don’t look at me like that!” And then she rubbed her face, embarrassed and furious with herself.

  “I really am very tired …” she muttered. “I’ll see to it that Sister gives you a sedative tonight, Mr. Ferris—good night.” And she went, closing the door behind her with intense relief.

  Theo was sitting in Sister’s office when she went in, and he looked up at her a little anxiously and said, “I thought I’d wait to come back with you to the cottage. I’m too lazy to cook my own dinner, and I couldn’t face the Brookbank mush tonight. Could you provide me with a little sustenance, do you suppose?”

  “Yes, I suppose so,” she said shortly, and then was ashamed of her bad temper and smiled at him. “I think I may have a piece of steak. A little elderly, perhaps, but—”

  “I like my beef well hung,” he said. “Well matured, like a really interesting woman, eh, Sister?” And he leered heavily at Sister Hornett who looked at him with an expression compounded of affront and amusement.

  “Sister, I’ll write Mr. Ferris up for some Mogadon, I think. He’s getting depressed, and I want to be sure he sleeps,” Harriet said quickly. Theo’s bonhomie was to her so obviously strained and artificial that she was embarrassed; surely Sister Hornett had recognized the falsity of it?