Sideshow

by Amy Stilgenbauer

  Suprema laughed. “I can’t. Ruth played a heart.”

  “Sorry, I’m not really good at this game,” Ruth said somewhat sheepishly. “I play Jass.”

  “You’re better than Abby,” Suprema teased. “She just told me to play a—”

  “No table talk!” shouted Jimmy, the ride jockey who ran the haunted train. He still wore his top hat and reminded Abby of Roman, but she didn’t want to think about Roman. It made her think about Natale and Nonna and how her family was faring. She squeezed Suprema’s hand, and Suprema smiled back at her. Abby had made the right decision, but that didn’t mean it was always easy.

  “Abby!” a voice called from the entrance to the tent. The entire group turned to look as Thomas hurried over to them. Della trailed behind, with her arms crossed and her face, still covered in cold cream, locked into a scowl. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he said.

  “I—”

  “He came to me first,” Della practically spat. “Apparently little Tommy here is oblivious to the fact that you haven’t been my trailer freeloader for two jumps!”

  Abby didn’t know what to say. Clearly Thomas didn’t either. He looked at Della as if to say, “please don’t hurt me,” then held out an envelope to Abby, who snatched it. Della was still rambling on, about how she had to follow him and make sure the letter was hand-delivered because she wasn’t about to be accused of withholding mail again. All Abby could do was give Thomas an apologetic shrug.

  The envelope had no return address. At first, Abby thought the letter had come from Aunt Teresa. Her last letter had come without a return address. It surprised her that her aunt would reach out.

  “Are we gonna finish this round?” Jimmy asked irritably. He pointed at the ace of clubs in the center of the table. “I just put down a trump, you see that there.”

  Suprema glared at him. “Could you, maybe—”

  “It’s okay,” Abby said, kissing Suprema on the cheek. “I’ll go read this. You play cards.”

  She slipped away to the edge of the tent and peeled back the flap of the envelope. The paper wasn’t Aunt Teresa’s pink and perfumed stationery. The envelope contained a novelty card. It was heart-shaped, and printed inside the heart was a flying saucer containing two cherubs and the words, “You’re out of this world.” Abby felt strange, as if she had forgotten something important. She held her breath and opened the card.

  Abby,

  I think I have been very patient allowing you to live out this little summer adventure you seemed so intent on, but now it is time for you to come home. I have booked passage on a train south to Urbana. I will meet the carnival there and collect you. I know you may be resistant to this. A friend of mine who has been working with the carnival company has told me about your strange romance. My advice is to end this, and soon. It will only cause trouble for you down the road. And trouble for her. And, of course, for poor Natale, who has been doing his very best, but is certainly not innocent in all of this.

  My friend has already seen to it that rumors will dog the carnival and that they will get worse if you do not come home with me.

  I am eager to see you, Abby. I have missed you, but I have also been busy getting things ready for your return. I really think you will love the venue and I have already selected your favorite roses. By the way, did you enjoy the earrings? I never heard. I think that pearls suit you more than you might think. You should wear them to the wedding. They will look lovely with your dress.

  Please be ready for me when I arrive. I would hate to see anything bad happen if you are not.

  Your devoted,

  FB

  Abby stood staring at the words. She was barely able to breathe for fear that taking a breath after reading them meant that they were real. If it hadn’t been for Della pulling the letter from her hand, she might have stood there holding it and staring at the words until Frank himself showed up to cart her away.

  “This guy is royally screwy, Abby,” Della said, not even thinking twice about scanning the letter’s contents.

  Still numb, Abby nodded.

  “He can’t hurt Natale. We can’t let him.”

  This was the first thing Della had said that Abby agreed with in quite some time. “I know,” she said, her heart aching. She glanced toward the euchre game. Suprema had just set down her card, and it must have been a good one because her face was adorned with a proud smirk. Abby’s heart broke just thinking about what she needed to do. It wasn’t just Natale that Frank was threatening. It was Suprema. It was the carnival as a whole. She turned away from the game and hung her head. “Don’t worry. I’ll go,” she whispered.

  “Like hell you will,” Della spat. Her voice wasn’t loud, but her words were vehement.

  This startled Abby, who stared back at Della.

  “We’ll handle this Frank character. He won’t know what hit him.”

  “I… I don’t—” She glanced once more at the euchre game. Of all the people involved in the carnival, Della was the last one she could imagine being supportive. Ruth, definitely. Vinnie, probably. But Della? She hadn’t seemed all that eager to get involved, even on the first night.

  “Look, I have to tell you something.” She scanned the tent and lowered her voice as if she were about to divulge the greatest secret of her life. Abby waited for something along the lines of “I am from outer space.” Instead, Della blurted, “My mother didn’t die in a trapeze accident.” She stopped, looking at Abby, perhaps hoping to see what impact that made. When Abby continued to stare blankly, she barreled on. “My mother didn’t die in a trapeze accident. She got married, had a baby, and left the circus. I always figured she might as well have died. That’s what I always thought. Love steals your glory. What’s the point of it? That’s why I ran away, you know.”

  All Abby could do was nod. She had no idea what to make of Della’s words.

  “But I dunno. I’ve been thinking a lot and, I dunno. I mean.” She stopped, frowning to herself as though the words refused to work their way out of her mouth. She touched a hand to her navel and took a deep breath. “I’m mad about your brother, Abby. Always have been. Since the day I first saw him. Why do you think I kept that letter? I just wanted his handwriting near me, which is ridiculous, but—”

  “I knew that,” Abby said, surprising herself. Somehow, despite everything, it was the only explanation that made sense.

  “No, you didn’t.” Della’s eyes flashed, and Abby supposed it was best not to argue with her. “Look. I… I love him.”

  The pair stared at each other, sizing up the situation, and then Abby let her gaze drift over Della’s shoulder and back to the euchre game. Suprema was laughing, a real and true laugh. It wasn’t muffled or covered. She wasn’t trying to stop herself. She was just letting the unfiltered joy of emotion escape, and it made Abby’s pulse race. “It’s not just Natale he said he’ll hurt,” she whispered, reaching out to take the card back from Della. “I can’t—she doesn’t deserve—”

  “You’re right. She deserves someone who’s willing to fight for her.”

  Her words stung, but as Abby watched the girl she loved laugh and smile, she couldn’t see any other way out. “I’m not some romantic heroine, Della. Girls like me aren’t heroines.”

  “Not with that attitude, you’re not.”

  Abby looked back into Della’s eyes, leveling a glare that she hoped would rival Della’s own, but she saw sincerity. “All right, then. What do you propose we do?”

  “Well, we don’t have a lot of time. I suppose—” She too turned around and examined the players. “I wonder if it would make any difference if we found out who this mole is. He’s probably the one who told the police in Chicago that we were harboring ‘secret communists,’ as if there was such a thing!”

  The thought made Abby feel sick. She had come to love and care for all of these people; could one of them really be a friend of Frank’s? She refused to believe it. “He’s probably bluffing. He bluffs. He always bluffs.”<
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  “Does he?” Della asked skeptically. “You seemed pretty sure he wasn’t bluffing in July.”

  She rolled the card in her hand, trying to draw the nervousness from her mind. It didn’t work. “I’m going to go.”

  “But we haven’t thought of a plan.”

  “Later.”

  Abby walked to the table and peered down at the cards. Both teams only had one point left to go.

  “You all right?” Suprema asked. Abby slipped her arm through hers and held on, perhaps a little tighter than she meant to. “Abby …?”

  She didn’t know how to answer or explain. She simply held on to Suprema’s arm. After a moment Suprema seemed to understand. She set her cards down and gently rubbed Abby’s arm with her free hand.

  “Don’t worry, Suprema,” Ruth said, putting on what seemed to Abby to be false confidence. “I’ve got a loner hand.”

  “You do not,” Jimmy said.

  Ruth narrowed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m going alone either way.”

  Jimmy looked put out, but Suprema nodded gratefully. She led Abby out of the tent. “Abby, what is it?”

  “I’ll tell you, I promise, but right now, can you just hold me?”

  Suprema pulled her close, wrapped her arms around Abby, and gently stroked her hair. Abby breathed her in. She smelled sweet, like kettle corn, and the scent calmed Abby’s racing mind. She turned her head up toward Suprema’s face and kissed her gently as she slipped the card into her hand.

  The kiss continued. Neither of them seemed willing to break it for quite some time. Abby’s entire body cleared of the tension she had felt so intensely. She felt free and strong. Suprema’s body and lips were warm, and the autumn chill that had been irritating her bones also seemed to disappear. She wanted to hold on to that feeling forever.

  Too soon, Suprema pulled back and looked at the card. “Is this what Thomas brought you?”

  Abby nodded slowly. She touched her fingertips to her chest, trying to hold on to the feeling she’d had while kissing Suprema.

  “FB is—?”

  “Yes.” Oh, how she wanted none of this to be happening. She wanted that more than anything in the world.

  “Oh, Abby … I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault.”

  “I know. I just … I thought this was over.”

  “So did I. I’d almost forgotten him entirely.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  Abby looked at the ground. Her mind started to run away with her again. “I don’t know. I don’t want go—”

  “I don’t want you to go,” Suprema jumped in. Her face turned ashen.

  They both breathed deeply, watching one another. Before either of them realized what was happening, they were kissing once again, with the fierce passion of two people who have suddenly had their time together cut short. They each held on tight, as though terrified the other would disappear if they dared slacken their grip in the slightest. Abby figured she could come up with a plan later, when the world around her didn’t feel quite so urgent.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  THE NEXT FEW DAYS IN Urbana were tense. Abby wanted, more than anything, to enjoy what little time she had left with Suprema, but she was a bundle of nerves and found calming herself difficult. Suprema tried, and Abby tried to reassure her that her gentle kisses and the careful but strong way that she held her did help, but her mind wouldn’t still. She was too afraid. She hoped, deep down, that Suprema knew this wasn’t a reflection of her feelings for her.

  She spent most of the week trying to concoct a plan that had even the remotest chance of success. She even fell asleep one night while combing through a mental list of places she might be able to convince Suprema to run away to.

  Her bally was also weak; her voice faltered as she scanned the crowds for Frank’s face. Whereas once she had seen it everywhere, now he seemed to be lurking just out of sight, just behind the curtain of the tent across the midway, or hidden from view by the crowds shuffling by. She never saw him, but she felt his presence everywhere.

  At the end of her latest attempt at “The Flying Saucer Blues,” a high-pitched voice that seemed out of place jolted her from her thoughts. “Aaabbbyyy!” the voice called out from down the midway. Annette had rushed onto the platform and was clinging to her leg before Abby fully understood what was happening.

  “Annette?” she asked breathlessly, not daring to believe it.

  “Are there really aliens in there?” Annette asked, looking up at her wide-eyed and hopeful.

  “Annette, where did you come from?”

  Natale’s voice jarred her even more. “Cleveland, which is four hours from here, by the way. You could have mentioned that in your letter. You know, before I put four small children in a car with me. I don’t have a radio, Abby.”

  Abby laughed. It was the first time she had laughed in days. She rushed down the bally platform and gathered as many of her siblings into a hug as her arms would contain.

  “Yeah, yeah, we’re happy to see you, too,” Leon said, squirming.

  “You came?” She almost couldn’t believe it.

  Natale shrugged. “You were right. The kids needed a break. And Geauga Lake is played out.”

  “Wow, I rank higher than the Big Dipper?”

  Leon raised an eyebrow. “Are you telling me that we—”

  “No,” Natale said.

  “We have a roller coaster,” Abby said, smirking at Leon’s sulk. “But first, who wants to see aliens?”

  Joseph raised a tentative hand. Carla nodded and Annette squealed. “I suppose,” said Leon.

  “Right this way, then!” Abby led them into the tent. As she did so, Natale caught her by the wrist.

  “Can you keep an eye on them for a bit?” he asked in a hushed tone.

  “Natale, I’m working,” Abby hissed.

  “Just for a little while. I have to find Della. We need to talk.”

  Abby glanced at the four youngest Amaros oohing and ahhing over several jars of green sludge. “Fine.”

  “They haven’t eaten yet, so—”

  “Don’t push it, Natale.”

  He doffed his hat almost mockingly before ducking away. Abby shook her head and went back to watching her younger siblings. She hoped that Natale and Della would reconcile, especially considering how desperate Della had been the other night. She wanted them to be happy, after all.

  AN HOUR LATER, WHEN NATALE hadn’t returned and Leon had begun whining that he was “really booored,” she closed up the attraction and started down the midway.

  “Can we play a game?” Carla asked timidly.

  “Or go on the haunted train?” cried an excited Annette.

  “Maybe later. I need to find Natale, or anyone else to help me wrangle you four.” She looked into each booth, hoping to spot Ruth or Boleslaw, even Vinnie, someone better with kids to keep them distracted.

  “Natale went to look for the—” Annette began, but stopped when Joseph shushed her.

  “Look for the what?” Abby asked, as a twinge of fear prickled her spine. Did he not tell her the whole story of why they came? Was Frank here? Was he going to confront Frank? And why would he bring the little ones if that were his plan?

  “I’m hungry,” Annette whined.

  “Me too,” Joseph whispered.

  Abby sighed and glanced at Carla and Leon, who both shrugged. “If you know anything, you should tell me.”

  As one, all four shook their heads.

  Crossing her arms, Abby narrowed her eyes at them. She couldn’t go looking for Natale with them in tow, though. “Let’s get you something to eat.”

  Verboten as it was, Abby led the crew to the food tent. If she were going to find anyone to help her, it would be there. She started toward the sideshow folks, who had sequestered themselves in the far corner.

  “I think we’ve finally convinced my mother to come to Florida for the winter,” Ruth was saying as they approached. “What was holding her
to New Philadelphia, I cannot possibly—” she broke off as Abby approached. “The young Amaros, I assume?”

  Annette bowed. The entire group laughed, and the little girl’s face broke into a broad grin.

  “Have you seen Suprema?” Abby asked, glancing around the group and not finding her face.

  “She went to get you,” Constance offered. “She should be back soon.”

  “Is that snake real?” Carla asked of Gregor, who still had his python draped over his shoulders.

  Gregor nodded. “Her name is Lucy; want to hold her?”

  Abby stopped herself from interceding when Carla nodded enthusiastically. The other three backed away, terror-stricken.

  “Hold out your arms,” Gregor said. Carla obeyed, and he gently set Lucy across them. Abby was relieved to see that the snake remained uncoiled. After a tense moment, Carla laughed.

  “Me next!” Leon said, regaining his composure.

  “Of course, and then I need to speak with your sister.”

  This made Abby uneasy, and she was grateful that moments later Suprema appeared in the tent. “Sorry, I forgot about lunch,” Abby said as Suprema slipped up beside her. “Look who showed up.”

  Suprema smiled to see Abby’s brothers and sisters, but with a hint of worry.

  “Is something wrong?” Abby asked.

  “Gregor and I were talking,” she said, now watching as Constance showed Annette and Joseph how to pass their hands through a flame without being burned. To Abby’s relief, neither looked willing to try it. “We were trying to come up with a plan and—”

  “I want to… to make it up to you,” Gregor whispered in a voice so low Abby barely heard it. She wasn’t entirely sure that she hadn’t made up the words.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I want to make it up to you,” he repeated, just a little louder, lifting Lucy from Leon’s arms and looking toward Abby with a determined expression.

  “What do you mean?”

  Suprema squeezed her hand. “Do you think, if Gregor challenged Frank to a fair rematch because he had been humiliated before, that Frank would be able to resist it?”

  “I don’t know,” Abby said. She didn’t like this idea. Frank didn’t like to get into situations where he didn’t know he could win, but underneath all the calculation was a great deal of pride. Frank was unpredictable when his pride was challenged. For starters, she’d never thought he’d follow her. She had been certain he would give up. If he felt challenged, would he fight? “He’s probably pretty certain he’s better than you. He’s probably convinced himself of that, anyway.”