If You Can't Stand the Heat...

by Joss Wood

  ‘And it kills me to know that Brent had to lose his life so that I could have mine,’ Jack said in a rush, scared that if he didn’t get the words out he never would.

  June’s eyes filled with tears and her face softened. ‘Sweetheart, his death had nothing to do with you. It was his time to go...’

  ‘But—’

  ‘But nothing. I’m just grateful that you had a second chance at life. Grateful that you haven’t wasted his gift...’ June took his hand between hers. ‘Yet your mother tells us you have no home, no family, no partner. It worries her. It worries us. Why not?’

  ‘Uh—’

  ‘When we gave you our son’s heart we expected you not to waste your second chance. We also expected you to make the most of your second chance,’ David stated, his voice firm but gentle. ‘But we never wanted you to feel guilty—only thankful.’

  His mother must have had more than a few discussions with them about him for them to be having this conversation, Jack realised. He wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or to wring her neck for interfering. He smiled inside. He’d go for grateful.

  ‘So you think it would be okay if I fell in love? Had a family? Even knowing that Brent never had that chance and I do, with his heart?’ he asked, holding his breath.

  David placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed. ‘Not only do we think it’s okay, we think it’s important. It’s another chance—another opportunity for you to be fulfilled—and that’s all we ever wanted. For you to make the most of his gift, to wring out as much happiness as you can from life. Brent had a generous spirit and that would be his wish.’

  ‘And it’s ours...’ June added.

  Jack swallowed the tears he felt at the back of his throat as their words picked up the last of his guilt and flew away with it. He managed what he suspected was a watery grin. ‘Well, there is this girl, and she’s been giving our heart a run for its money...’

  June grinned and put her hand into the crook of his elbow. ‘Ooh, a feisty one. I like her already.’

  * * *

  Three days later Ellie sat cross-legged in the middle of the driveway and gazed at what she was privately calling Ellie’s Folly. Fascinated, she rested her elbow on her knee and her chin in her hand and just looked. The house preened in the spotty sunlight that appeared now and again from between low black clouds, like an elderly showgirl remembering her former life.

  Rolled up and sticking out of the back pocket of her shorts was the agreement of sale that Mrs H had finally signed an hour before.

  ‘Enough is enough,’ she’d told Mrs H, after carefully explaining what she intended doing with the property. ‘Either accept my offer or I’m walking away.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘Permanently. Pari’s will close down, jobs will be lost and St James will lose a landmark institution. I’m tired of your vacillations and games. I’m dealing with enough drama as it is and I don’t need any more. The ball is in your court.’

  Getting tough had paid dividends and the old lady had signed at a price that allowed her enough cash to do the renovations. She was now the owner of a gorgeous old building that needed lots of love and attention. Thank goodness—because she seriously needed the distraction of hard work.

  It had been a good day. If she ignored the fact that she was still miserable and heartbroken and so, so sad.

  Ellie felt something cold nudge her shoulder and looked sideways to see a large frappe in one of Pari’s takeaway glasses. She’d told her mum that she’d be here and wasn’t surprised by her presence.

  ‘Isn’t she stunning?’ Ellie breathed, unable to take her eyes off the building.

  ‘She is—but you are even more so.’

  Ellie scrambled to her feet as that deep voice caressed her. She looked at him, wide-eyed with astonishment.

  Jack was back and he was standing in front of her, looking fit and fantastic.

  Ellie took a step back, feeling totally disorientated and more than a little scared. Why was he back? Oh, her battered heart had lifted at the sight of his wonderful face, but how it would hurt when he left again. How would she survive this? Would she ever get used to him dropping in and out of her life?

  Yet...she didn’t care. After the past days of hell on earth it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Because, as sobering and shocking as the concept was, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him. The reality was that she’d never loved anyone or anything as much as she loved Jack...she would give up Pari’s for him, move to the ends of the earth for him...she’d even live through having her insides scraped out with a teaspoon every time he went on a dangerous assignment if it meant having him smile at her, laugh with her, hold her after making love to her.

  He was back, she loved him and she’d do anything to be with him.

  Ellie dropped her iced coffee to the driveway and only just stopped herself from flinging herself against his chest and weeping like a fool. Instead she put the heels of her hands to her temples and shrugged her shoulders. ‘Okay, I surrender.’

  ‘You surrender what?’ Jack asked conversationally, his finger tapping his still full cup of coffee.

  ‘Do you want me to leave Pari’s? I can make cakes in London. I’ll take Rescue Remedy and yoga and meditation classes every time you go on assignments to hellholes. I’ll get through it.’ Ellie stumbled to the low wall that ran parallel to the driveway, sat down and dropped her head into her hands. ‘What do you need me to do?’

  ‘Now, why would you do all that, El?’ Jack asked.

  She felt him sit down next to her. ‘Because I love you and I can’t live without you,’ Ellie muttered to the concrete. She felt his big hand on the back of her neck as tears dripped onto the paving below.

  Jack pulled her head to his shoulder and held it there as he continued to sip his coffee. ‘That’s a hell of an offer, El.’

  Ellie looped her arms around his waist, still staring at their shoes. She sniffed, the reality of what she’d offered slowly sinking in. She’d miss Merri and her staff, her customers and this new building that she’d never have the chance to turn into something special. And her house—she really loved her house—but she’d take her pets. That wasn’t negotiable.

  She’d miss the beach and the city but she’d have Jack... Her racing heart settled. She’d have Jack sometimes and it would be all right. Anything was better than nothing.

  She felt Jack’s kiss in her hair before he let her go. Ellie wiped her eyes with the back of her wrist and sniffed.

  ‘I have a counter-offer,’ Jack said, his voice vibrating with emotion.

  ‘You do?’

  ‘As it happens, I love you too.’ The corners of his mouth kicked up when her mouth fell open. He put his finger under her chin and pushed it up so that her teeth clicked together. ‘I can’t—won’t—ask you to uproot your wonderful life. But I can ask you if I can share it.’

  There went her jaw again. ‘Sorry?’

  Jack pulled his feet up, bent his legs and rested his arms on his knees. His cup was on the wall next to his feet. The late-summer breeze blew his hair off his forehead. ‘I want to stay here, live in your house with you. On an on-going and permanent basis.’

  ‘Uh—’

  Jack managed to grin. ‘Work with me here, darling. I’m trying, very badly, to propose.’

  ‘Propose what?’ Ellie said blankly, still stuck three sentences behind, on the ‘I love you too’ comment.

  ‘I can’t imagine my life in any form without you in it so...will you marry me?’ Jack asked.

  ‘Uh—what?’

  ‘You? Me? Married?’

  ‘You want to marry me?’ Ellie squawked.

  ‘That’s what I keep saying. But the question is, do you want to marry me?’

  Jack bit his lip, anxiety written all over his face. Ellie couldn’t believe that her tough warrior—a man who’d faced untold danger, who’d lived through and overcome so much in his life—was scared of rejection, scared that her answer might be no.
<
br />   Gathering her last two wits together, she leaned forward and placed her hands on his knees.

  ‘Yes. Absolutely.’

  Jack dropped his forehead to his chest in relief and Ellie rubbed her thumbs over the bare skin on the inside of his knees. He was warm and strong and vital and her world suddenly made sense again.

  ‘I do love you, El,’ Jack muttered, his voice hoarse as he looked at her with blazing eyes.

  Her heart constricted and fluttered and, lifting her hands, she gently held his face. ‘I love you too. Welcome home.’

  * * *

  Ellie sat sideways between Jack’s legs, his arms loosely around her waist and his chin on her head. They’d been quiet for a while after his proposal, both happy to savour the moment.

  She didn’t want to break the spell, but Ellie knew that they still had a couple of issues to work through. ‘What about kids, Jack? Do you want any?’

  He looked down at her and half shrugged. ‘Sure. When?’

  Ellie blinked. ‘Excuse me?’

  Jack squeezed her waist. ‘I don’t think you really heard me before, or took in what I said, but I want it all. But it starts with you. If you want kids now, later, whenever... I just want to make you happy.’

  Ellie blinked, swallowing as emotion—love—grabbed her heart. ‘Oh, you slay me.’ She pushed her hair back. ‘I’d like your baby, Jack—hell, I’d love your baby. But not right now. I’d like us to take a little time for ourselves. Just to be, to get used to our new life together, before we throw another person into the mix.’

  ‘We can do that.’ Jack pulled up her T-shirt and put his warm hand on her bare skin.

  Ellie shivered at his touch and hoped that she never stopped responding like this.

  She tipped her head back and sideways to look up at him. ‘You said that you just want me to be happy but I want you to be happy—how are we both going to be happy?’

  Jack let out a joyful laugh. ‘You really didn’t hear me earlier, did you?’

  Ellie blushed. ‘I kind of tuned out after you told me you loved me. Tuned back in when you proposed. In between it’s a bit blurry.’

  Jack scooted backwards so that he could look down into her face. He was hers—a warrior soldier with a scarred body, warm smile and vulnerability in his eyes.

  ‘Okay, are you concentrating?’

  Ellie laughed. ‘Jack!’

  ‘El, I love it here—love your dogs, your city, your friends. I’m happier here than anywhere else.’ He ran the edge of his thumb over her trembling bottom lip. ‘I’ve been a fighter all my life but I’ll fight hard for you—fight to share your sunshine-filled life.’

  ‘But your career—’

  Jack shrugged. ‘I still want to do parts of it—with your support. But I can pick and choose my stories a bit better. I don’t always need to go into hot areas, chase the conflicts. I can do human drama stories, crime, special reports. I might have to go away now and again, but I meant what I said. There are ways for us to communicate every day and I wouldn’t want to be away from you for long.’

  Ellie swallowed. How long was long? ‘A month? Two?’

  Jack laughed. ‘Are you mad? I couldn’t survive that long without you! A week—maybe ten days at the most. And that would be pushing it.’

  Ellie grinned. Jack was not going to be an absent husband, a forgetful lover. He was right. He was nothing like her father.

  She tapped his knee in warning. ‘Do not get hurt again.’

  She felt his lips smile against hers. ‘Deal.’

  Ellie toyed with his fingers. ‘But, Jack, if you need to go into a situation that’s dangerous, I meant what I said. I’ll find a way to deal with it. I don’t want you to miss it or feel cheated.’ She needed him to understand. ‘You were right. You are nothing like my dad or my ex. And I am nothing like that shy, plump insecure little girl. I can cope with you being away for short periods as long as we keep communicating...’

  ‘Don’t think this is only from your side. I need to connect with you as well, sweetheart. I missed you so much when I was in Chile. I felt...bereft.’

  Ellie draped her thighs over his and scooted closer, so that she could link her hands at the back of his neck. ‘Was it bad?’

  ‘Yeah. It was.’ Jack nodded.

  ‘I saw the footage of you rescuing that woman,’ Ellie said quietly. ‘Merri caught it on the news and I downloaded the clip from the internet.’

  ‘I guess they aren’t calling me unemotional any more, since I was caught crying on camera.’ Jack rubbed his forehead with the tips of his fingers. ‘She looked like you. Long black hair, creamy skin. Gorgeous. Her husband was a train wreck and I kept thinking: how would I feel if this was you? Gutted, shell-shocked, scared witless.’ Jack frowned. ‘I’ve been scared in my life, El, but nothing compares to how terrified I was when I considered what it would feel like to lose you permanently.’ Jack shuddered before he spoke again. ‘I went to Brent’s service—spoke to his parents.’

  ‘That must have been hard. How was it?’

  Jack smiled. ‘It was...healing. For all of us. Me especially.’

  ‘I’m so glad.’ Ellie’s breath hitched. ‘I know that you’re not into these mushy moments, but I just want to keep telling you how much I love you...’

  ‘I don’t mind hearing that.’ Jack’s mouth kicked up as his hand cradled the side of her head. ‘And ditto for me. There’s so much I still want to say...’

  ‘Like?’

  ‘Like my world has colour again now that you are back in it.’ His eyes turned serious. ‘El, I love my work, but I love you more. I’ll never cheat on you. I promise to be faithful. And I promise, as far as I’m humanly able, to be here when you need me. I promise to be with you on the important dates, and if and when we have kids I’ll look at my career and see what I can change to be an active, involved dad.’

  Ellie opened her mouth to speak but Jack shook his head.

  ‘You’re my life. You’re what makes me happy. I want to wake up next to you, wander down to the bakery for breakfast, be with you at night. Unfortunately I have to earn money, and I do enjoy what I do. But if I have to choose between the two I’ll choose you.’

  ‘You don’t have to choose.’ Ellie gulped as Jack lifted his thumbs to wipe away her tears. His mouth lifted at the corners and his eyes darkened with emotion, and Ellie caught a glimpse of his soul, overflowing with love for her.

  He took her hand and placed it on the left side of his chest. ‘I’ve protected my heart in every way I can. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. It’s on loan to me and now I’m giving it to you...this heart that saved my life—it’s yours.’

  Ellie gulped a sob and the stream of tears that she’d been holding back slid down her face. Leaning into him, she placed her cheek against his, and when she thought she could talk sensibly again she took his hand and echoed his action by putting it on her chest. ‘Then take mine. Keep it safe.’

  ‘I promise I will.’

  And they both knew, in a way only lovers could understand, that their hearts were joined—married—on that low stone wall outside a decrepit house in the late-afternoon summer sun.

  EPILOGUE

  Six months later

  Ellie felt her mum’s arm around her waist as she stood at the edge of the crowd, waiting to be called by the Master of Ceremonies to make her speech. Merri stood on her other side, with Molly Blue in her pushchair, sucking a doughnut.

  It was the day of Pari’s grand re-opening and the new building was restored to its formal splendour. The gardens might need a year or two to mature, but spring was almost upon them and she could see tiny shoots of new growth on the rescued rose bushes, on the trees and bushes.

  The bakery had been operating for a week and there had been problems—but nothing insurmountable. Business was booming in the bakery, in the new restaurant, in the tiny art studio/gift shop she’d set up to display her artwork and some works by other artists from the area.

  She only
had one little issue... Her fiancé—the man she was due to marry in a month—was not yet home. He was nowhere to be seen. She had no idea why he was delayed because every time she called him his mobile went straight to voicemail, and he’d left his satellite phone at home. She could feel her mum and Merri’s rising annoyance—this was her big day and he wasn’t here. Ellie knew that her mum was trying to keep back all the ‘I told you so’ and ‘war reporters—consistently unreliable’ phrases that she desperately wanted to utter.

  Ellie resisted looking at her watch. Jack would get here, and if he didn’t he would have a damn good excuse for not being able to make it. Over the past six months he’d done everything he’d said he would and he loved her absolutely, intensely, ferociously. He’d never deliberately hurt her and sometimes things happened. Life happened.

  ‘Relax, guys,’ Ellie told them, sending them both a great big smile. ‘I am.’

  ‘Has he forgotten how to use a phone?’ Ashnee demanded. ‘I’m really quite annoyed with him—’

  ‘You can read me the Riot Act later, Ash,’ Jack said from behind them, and Ellie squealed in delight as she whipped around. ‘Right now, I’d like to kiss my girl.’

  Then his big hands were cradling her face, his lips were on hers and the tectonic plates deep in the earth shifted and settled. When he finally lifted his head he smiled down at her. ‘Sorry—battery on my mobile died. And I got a speeding fine on the way here.’

  ‘I knew you would get here on time.’ Ellie smiled. ‘Missed you.’

  ‘Missed you too,’ Jack replied.

  Ellie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. ‘How did it go with the cardiologist?’

  His heart transplant wasn’t a secret any more. It wasn’t something he discussed, but it was out in the open. ‘Fine—situation normal. He says that you’re looking after my heart beautifully.’

  Her lips twitched. ‘Good.’

  ‘I’m sorry that I had to delay my return. I really wanted to be home sooner. But I decided to wait for your present.’

  Ellie held his hand between both of hers. ‘My present? What is it?’